The Pre-Loved edit from Shopbop
To share your reaction on this item, open the Amazon app from the App Store or Google Play on your phone.
Add Prime to get Fast, Free delivery
Amazon prime logo
$13.01 with 57 percent savings
List Price: $30.00
Get Fast, Free Shipping with Amazon Prime FREE Returns
FREE delivery Monday, January 27 on orders shipped by Amazon over $35
Or Prime members get FREE delivery Tomorrow, January 23. Order within 7 hrs 38 mins.
In Stock
$$13.01 () Includes selected options. Includes initial monthly payment and selected options. Details
Price
Subtotal
$$13.01
Subtotal
Initial payment breakdown
Shipping cost, delivery date, and order total (including tax) shown at checkout.
Ships from
Amazon.com
Amazon.com
Ships from
Amazon.com
Sold by
Amazon.com
Amazon.com
Sold by
Amazon.com
Returns
30-day refund/replacement
30-day refund/replacement
This item can be returned in its original condition for a full refund or replacement within 30 days of receipt.
Payment
Secure transaction
Your transaction is secure
We work hard to protect your security and privacy. Our payment security system encrypts your information during transmission. We don’t share your credit card details with third-party sellers, and we don’t sell your information to others. Learn more
Kindle app logo image

Download the free Kindle app and start reading Kindle books instantly on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.

Read instantly on your browser with Kindle for Web.

Using your mobile phone camera - scan the code below and download the Kindle app.

QR code to download the Kindle App

Follow the author

Something went wrong. Please try your request again later.

Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans Hardcover – March 2, 2021

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 3,708 ratings

off. Enter code INSTAPAY10 at checkout. Discount by Amazon. Terms  off. Promo code INSTAPAY10 is saved to your account. Discount by Amazon. Terms  
{"desktop_buybox_group_1":[{"displayPrice":"$13.01","priceAmount":13.01,"currencySymbol":"$","integerValue":"13","decimalSeparator":".","fractionalValue":"01","symbolPosition":"left","hasSpace":false,"showFractionalPartIfEmpty":true,"offerListingId":"19Ul1OKTVkGsbmUoOsmPEM%2FYyPSyxCh7Wo2OyDKbpVVizCNbS4xtsjpqR3rrhnuJs0VBfDNrHI%2FP3llIbyqb8Yq9Q1eiIsdsnUJJKqVlDgWOoA7aG8UytnIfiYNy746TJ%2FslI0phlySsyUkvKYCcNg%3D%3D","locale":"en-US","buyingOptionType":"NEW","aapiBuyingOptionIndex":0}]}

Purchase options and add-ons

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

The oldest cultures in the world have mastered the art of raising happy, well-adjusted children. What can we learn from them?

Hunt, Gather, Parent is full of smart ideas that I immediately wanted to force on my own kids.” —Pamela Druckerman, The New York Times Book Review

When Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff becomes a mother, she examines the studies behind modern parenting guidance and finds the evidence frustratingly limited and often ineffective. Curious to learn about more effective parenting approaches, she visits a Maya village in the Yucatán Peninsula. There she encounters moms and dads who parent in a totally different way than we do—and raise extraordinarily kind, generous, and helpful children without yelling, nagging, or issuing timeouts. What else, Doucleff wonders, are Western parents missing out on?

In
Hunt, Gather, Parent, Doucleff sets out with her three-year-old daughter in tow to learn and practice parenting strategies from families in three of the world’s most venerable communities: Maya families in Mexico, Inuit families above the Arctic Circle, and Hadzabe families in Tanzania. She sees that these cultures don’t have the same problems with children that Western parents do. Most strikingly, parents build a relationship with young children that is vastly different from the one many Western parents develop—it’s built on cooperation instead of control, trust instead of fear, and personalized needs instead of standardized development milestones.

Maya parents are masters at raising cooperative children. Without resorting to bribes, threats, or chore charts, Maya parents rear loyal helpers by including kids in household tasks from the time they can walk. Inuit parents have developed a remarkably effective approach for teaching children emotional intelligence. When kids cry, hit, or act out, Inuit parents respond with a calm, gentle demeanor that teaches children how to settle themselves down and think before acting. Hadzabe parents are experts on raising confident, self-driven kids with a simple tool that protects children from stress and anxiety, so common now among American kids.

Not only does Doucleff live with families and observe their methods firsthand, she also applies them with her own daughter, with striking results. She learns to discipline without yelling. She talks to psychologists, neuroscientists, anthropologists, and sociologists and explains how these strategies can impact children’s mental health and development. Filled with practical takeaways that parents can implement immediately,
Hunt, Gather, Parent helps us rethink the ways we relate to our children, and reveals a universal parenting paradigm adapted for American families.
The%20Amazon%20Book%20Review
The Amazon Book Review
Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now

Frequently bought together

This item: Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans
$13.01
Get it as soon as Monday, Jan 27
In Stock
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
+
$10.86
Get it as soon as Monday, Jan 27
In Stock
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
+
$12.89
Get it as soon as Monday, Jan 27
In Stock
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
Total price: $00
To see our price, add these items to your cart.
Details
Added to Cart
spCSRF_Treatment
Choose items to buy together.
Popular Highlights in this book

From the Publisher

Hunt Gather Parent

Editorial Reviews

Review

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY BESTSELLER
USA TODAY BESTSELLER

Hunt, Gather, Parent is full of smart ideas that I immediately wanted to force on my own kids. (I wish I’d read it at the start of the pandemic, when I made their chore charts.) Doucleff is a dogged reporter who’s good at observing families and breaking down what they’re doing.”
—Pamela Druckerman, The New York Times Book Review

“Deeply researched . . . [Doucleff] takes care to portray her subjects not as curiosities ‘frozen in time,’ but instead as modern-day families who have held on to invaluable child-rearing techniques that likely date back tens of thousands of years.”
The Atlantic

“Parents: You don’t have to go to kid birthday parties anymore! Or awkwardly straddle playground equipment! Or create chore charts! In her funny, honest, and practical book, Michaeleen Doucleff collects ancient wisdom that can restore sanity to parenting.”
—Amanda Ripley, New York Times bestselling author of The Smartest Kids in the World and High Conflict

“THIS IS THE PARENTING BOOK I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR!!! Frustrated by the challenges of being a new parent, investigative journalist Michaeleen Doucleff straps her kid on her back and travels thousands of miles to learn why and how indigenous cultures seem to raise kids to be far more skilled, confident, and content than the kids back at home. Armed with respect and curiosity, Doucleff realizes that incessant communication with her child while attempting to control every small thing leads her child to feel anxiety and act out. And that giving a child autonomy while building a loving connection yields highly skilled kids who cooperate, regulate their emotions, and pitch in without waiting to be asked. Smart, humbling, and revealing,
Hunt, Gather, Parent should force a re-set of modern American parenting and return a healthier and happier childhood to both parents and children.”
—Julie Lythcott-Haims, New York Times bestselling author of How to Raise an Adult and Real American

“Michaeleen Doucleff’s
Hunt, Gather, Parent breathes a gust of fresh air onto the parenting bookshelf. She gives us a whole new way of looking at raising kids, and it is so beautifully intuitive even as it runs counter to everything we have been taught as Western parents. I loved all the families she introduces us to, the landscapes she brings to life, and her honesty about her relationships with her own daughter. It really does take a village to raise a child, and it is pure joy to follow Michaeleen and Rosy from village to village seeing how it can be done. I can’t wait to talk to other parents about this book.”
Angela C. Santomero, creator, head writer, and executive producer of Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood and Blue’s Clues, and author of Radical Kindness and Preschool Clues

“Most of our greatest parenting challenges, such as how to instill helpfulness, kindness, and confidence in little ones, aren’t problems at all in other cultures. Michaeleen Doucleff travels far and wide to observe firsthand how parents in non-Western societies have successfully nurtured these traits in children for centuries, and she shares their effective strategies in this very readable book.
Hunt, Gather, Parent is the new required reading for moms and dads seeking wise and creative solutions to our most vexing parenting dilemmas.”
—David F. Lancey, PhD, author of The Anthropology of Childhood and Raising Children: Surprising Insights from Other Cultures

“A lively account of traveling with her three-year-old daughter Rosy ‘to the corners of the world’ to research parenting techniques . . . Doucleff includes specific and manageable instructions for parents, and end-of-chapter summaries include extra resources. Parents will find Doucleff’s curiosity contagious and guidance encouraging.”
Publishers Weekly

“An intriguing study that should be useful to parents from any culture, especially those who are at their wits’ end with their rambunctious, untamed children. . . . Eye-opening looks at how ancient techniques can benefit modern parents.”
Kirkus Reviews

“This book is filled with accessible, practical information and anecdotes that can help parents address challenges they may face.”
—Jamie Herndon, Book Riot

About the Author

Michaeleen Doucleff is a correspondent for NPR’s Science Desk. In 2015, she was part of the team that earned a George Foster Peabody award for its coverage of the Ebola outbreak in West Africa. Prior to joining NPR, Doucleff was an editor at the journal Cell, where she wrote about the science behind pop culture. She has a doctorate in chemistry from the University of California, Berkeley, and a master’s degree in viticulture and enology from the University of California, Davis. She lives with her husband and daughter in San Francisco.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Avid Reader Press / Simon & Schuster (March 2, 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 352 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1982149671
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1982149673
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.2 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.13 x 1.2 x 9.25 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 3,708 ratings

About the author

Follow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations.
Michaeleen Doucleff
Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.
Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

Michaeleen Doucleff, PhD, is a global health correspondent for NPR’s Science Desk and the author of the New York Times bestseller Hunt, Gather, Parent. The book describes a way of raising kind and confident children, which moms and dads all over the world have turned to for millennia.

Doucleff has a doctorate in chemistry from the University of Berkeley, California, and a bachelor’s degree in biology from Caltech.

For the past decade, Doucleff has reported on disease outbreaks and children’s health for NPR. Before that, Doucleff was an editor at the journal Cell, where she wrote about the science behind pop culture.

She lives in San Francisco with her husband, daughter and German Shepherd, Savanna

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
3,708 global ratings

Review this product

Share your thoughts with other customers

Customers say

Customers find the book easy to read and informative. They appreciate the perspective and relatable advice on parenting. Many readers find the techniques effective within a short time. The book eases their anxiety and improves their mental health. Readers also appreciate the insights into other cultures and parenting styles.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

130 customers mention "Insight"121 positive9 negative

Customers find the book insightful and relatable. They appreciate the practical tools for teaching and training children. The book offers useful tips and scientific insights that are easy to understand. It provides a good foundation for parents to come back to time and time again.

"...The book also weaves in a ton of scientific research and many of the author’s original interviews with anthropologists..." Read more

"...The strategies in this book really work, even for my highly spirited toddler - and far better than punishments, demands and threats...." Read more

"...The stories were entertaining and instructive and I love how humble and relatable the author is. I teared up and laughed multiple times...." Read more

"...It feels like uncovering an intuitive, deeply held knowledge that you had the whole time, if only you had listened closely enough, rather than a set..." Read more

128 customers mention "Readability"126 positive2 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and engaging. They find the writing style great and the structure well-done. The book is a must-read for all parents, teachers, and anyone interested in parenting. The practical advice is simple to remember and implement.

"...This is an important book for parents, grandparents, nannies and other caregivers. This knowledge is desperately needed in the US today!..." Read more

"...The stories about other cultures were so interesting and easy to read that I was willing to wake up at 4am so I could get a chapter or two in before..." Read more

"...The information she gives is easy and laid out well, practical and easy to remember and seems simple to implement...." Read more

"This is a pretty fun and interesting read for a parenting book -- I've tried meandering my way through quite a few of them, and this one was so much..." Read more

108 customers mention "Perspective"105 positive3 negative

Customers find the book's perspective helpful. It answers many of their parenting questions and provides relatable, relevant information that applies to modern day parenting. They appreciate the stories of parents in other cultures and how they run their household. The book helps parents take back control of parenting and offers an interesting historical perspective.

"...There is some interesting historical parenting perspective in the first two chapters that upends much of our current thinking about raising..." Read more

"...The stories about other cultures were so interesting and easy to read that I was willing to wake up at 4am so I could get a chapter or two in before..." Read more

"...I feel like it answered SO many of the parenting questions I’ve had, and honestly believe it may be one of the only parenting books anyone needs to..." Read more

"...Overall, this book felt like part adventure story, part fascinating cultural lesson, and part parenting how-to...." Read more

14 customers mention "Effectiveness"14 positive0 negative

Customers find the techniques in the book effective within a short time. They say it works better than yelling commands at their children and they finished the book in one weekend.

"...him making sure he’s safe is just effective and works better then yelling commands at him, he is a happy 2 year old and it wouldn’t be without this..." Read more

"...Everything I read and tried from this book has worked wonders with my children and made me realize the frustrations and friction we were having were..." Read more

"I really enjoyed this book and finished it in one weekend!..." Read more

"...and implementing many of the strategies suggested, we have seen immediate results. Are our kids perfectly autonomous?..." Read more

11 customers mention "Ease of mind"11 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helpful. It eases their anxiety about parenting and makes them feel more calm and less stressed. They say it improves their life and mental health. The book helps break free from standard American parenting and gives them confidence.

"...stitches over the monsters talk and that in itself has helped relieve some of his anxiety...." Read more

"...Because of this book, I feel more confident. -Kim N." Read more

"...and along the way they remake their relationship into one that is less stressful, more caring, and, potentially, more fulfilling for them both in..." Read more

"This parenting book gave me my life back. I know that sounds extreme, but I mean it...." Read more

9 customers mention "Culture insight"9 positive0 negative

Customers find the book provides an interesting look at other cultures and parenting styles. They say it broadens their perspective with research and original interviews with anthropologists. The author expands on many thoughts and intuitions about parenting.

"...in a ton of scientific research and many of the author’s original interviews with anthropologists..." Read more

"...Overall, this book felt like part adventure story, part fascinating cultural lesson, and part parenting how-to...." Read more

"...So, this book helps parents to take parenting back, take the culture we want back and hopefully, slowly but surely we can raise healthy children..." Read more

"...I loved how the author travels and learns from other cultures directly and shares her experience in detail." Read more

12 customers mention "Reading experience"5 positive7 negative

Customers have different views on the book. Some find it entertaining and engaging, while others find the first two chapters boring and the author's voice unappealing.

"...In summary, it's not a good book." Read more

"...With that said, I found the book to be humorous and entertaining...." Read more

"Didn’t love the entire book, but the tidbits that I did like and implemented in my home were game changers and for that - I still love this book...." Read more

"...The book is well written, entertaining, and practical...." Read more

Great Read!
5 out of 5 stars
Great Read!
I don’t read many parenting books. This was actually only the second parenting book I’ve ever read and maybe the last! Lot’s of interesting insights and techniques to think about raising helpful, respectful and resilient children in a western culture that no longer teaches those values. Not every proposal presented in this book will work for all families, but all families can benefit from at least a few of them. One key takeaway is to get your kids involved in family life and culture as frequently as you can. They love to help! And practicing helpfulness is a skill we all have to learn.
Thank you for your feedback
Sorry, there was an error
Sorry we couldn't load the review

Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on March 9, 2021
    Ooo, this book was soooo good that I have too much to say and not enough time to write it all! I’m excited to be the first reviewer to have already put these parenting strategies into action and say—yes, this works! My six year old is cooking and cleaning, and she is more peaceful and even sleeping better than she has been in years. Even the baby is happy because we are including him in everything we do as a family.

    I was able to do get these results so quickly because I was already many months into implementing a complementary educational philosophy (Montessori) at home. Hunt Gather Parent gave me some of the context I was missing to make phenomenal changes in my household in literally just a few days. This is an important book for parents, grandparents, nannies and other caregivers. This knowledge is desperately needed in the US today!

    So as the book jacket explains, this is the story of an American mom, Michaeleen Doucleff, who brings her three year old daughter Rosy along with her as she lives and learns about parenting with families from three indigenous populations—the Maya in Yucatan, the Inuit in the Arctic circle and the Hadzabe in Tanzania. The book is rich with first-person anecdotes from each of these settings, populated by realistic portraits of the people she encountered. I loved learning about each group, and I wanted to read more, more, more about the families she met and the experiences she had.

    The book also weaves in a ton of scientific research and many of the author’s original interviews with anthropologists (I admit I gave the book a lot more credit once I looked at the notes and realized a lot of the interviews were her own original work). There is some interesting historical parenting perspective in the first two chapters that upends much of our current thinking about raising children.

    As well, the author was generous in her willingness to share the darker, cringe-worthier parts of her own parenting journey. I think just about any parent reading this book will recognize parts of their own parent-child relationships in this! But never fear, there is help on the way, as Michaeleen shares many macro and micro tips and tools for finding a completely new way of relating to our children. A very high level recap of some of her main points:

    --Include children in every aspect of adult life, including housework, cooking and other day-to-day work, and the children will be happier, calmer and naturally helpful.

    --React with peace and gentleness to children. Respond to misbehavior by ignoring, redirecting, modeling, encouraging, and other kind educational methods.

    --Give children autonomy in a safe way that builds both their confidence and their feeling of responsibility to their family and community.

    I really appreciated that Michaeleen was able to identify some “universal parenting strategies” because I agree with her that finding commonalities among cultures is the way to find what truly works. I think all parents everywhere want the same things, right? For their children to be healthy and fulfilled, and for the relationship among family members to be supportive and rewarding.

    And yet many of us in the U.S. (and probably Canada, Australia and U.K. as well), have completely lost our parenting compass. We don’t even necessarily know what values we want to transmit to our children, let alone how to transmit them and nurture the behaviors that support them. Do we want to encourage independence or interdependence? Peer social skills or family ties? Shouldering responsibility or following your bliss? As parents, do we want to be our kids’ friends or their leaders?

    The indigenous families interviewed by Michaeleen seem to have settled on the perfect middle ground among all these ideas. Their children are confident, sociable and emotionally mature. They definitely come across as happy and content. The parents seem to genuinely enjoy the company of their children, yet the parents have their own lives and aren’t at all slaves to their children’s whims.

    Now, as for my own parenting journey…I have been on this path for a few years to try to remake our family life and my relationship to our older child. I have read and implemented some of the best of other cross-cultural parenting books that have come out in the past handful of years, including about the French, Danes, and Japanese. Those books were wonderful and do not fundamentally contradict what Hunt, Gather, Parent describes. It’s just that those books failed to mention some of the underlying concepts which are also practiced in France, Japan and Scandanavia—things like family togetherness.

    As well, I have been reading books by Maria Monthessori and her disciples and implementing them in our home for about 6 months. Montessori provides a more detailed and comprehensive method than Hunt Gether Parent for introducing children of all ages to the work of daily life, as well as to the important concept of modifying the manmade environment (ie. The home) to ease children’s anxiety and increase their feelings of success.

    Importantly, Maria Montessori describes child development in her books and explains how the evolutionary purpose of childhood is basically to follow around adults and older children so the developing child can learn how to act, move and speak like others of their group, thus adapting to their culture, environment and time. This is how an Inuit child grows up to know how to live off the harsh lands of the Arctic, and how an American child grows up to know how to drive a car, shop at the supermarket and earn an income through gainful employment. Montessori describes how children have a developmental need to contribute to their communities and families, and how they will become demanding, possessive, clingy or otherwise maladapted if this developmental need is thwarted.

    Montessori has been incredible for our family and has completely changed our family life! Using the Montessori method of breaking jobs into subtasks and teaching by modeling rather than correcting, our 6 year old had already assumed a range of responsibilities from helping to prepare meals and clean up afterward, doing her own laundry, washing her hair, and many others. She was SO MUCH happier and confident after we taught her these jobs, we couldn’t believe it. And as Michaeleen notes in Hunt Gather Parent, we were continually surprised by her physical abilities, such as carrying a laundry basket full of laundry up a flight of stairs all by herself!

    However, our child was still clingy and demanding. She had difficulty concentrating and talked compulsively All. Day. Long. Enter the answer to my fervent asking…Michaeleen Doucleff’s Hunt, Gather, Parent. One of the wonderful ideas from this book we implemented immediately was the Family Membership Card—which essentially says children need to eat, work, play and do everything else ALONGSIDE the other members of their family. Whereas before our daughter had her own jobs to complete, now I suggested we do all jobs together. And she loves it! Using this tool and some of the others from the book, after just a few days she is already calmer and more focused. I enjoy her company more than I have since she turned two! And our baby is getting more attention because there isn't so much idle chatter in the house. The transformation for our entire family has been wonderful, and I assume this is only the beginning for us!

    To those parents who, like me, are looking for a better way to relate to their children and manage their family lives, I think you will find many ideas in this book. But change takes time if you are just starting this journey. Be patient with your children and spouse, and especially with yourself. Little by little, things will fall into place.

    To the author…thank you for writing this book! I can tell it was an act of love, and you deserve many rewards in return. I wish all parents and children everywhere love, peace and blessings.
    539 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on February 16, 2024
    I just finished this book in the space of about 2-3 weeks despite not having a lot of spare time for reading. The stories about other cultures were so interesting and easy to read that I was willing to wake up at 4am so I could get a chapter or two in before my 2 year old woke up. I even bought a copy for my mom, who watches my son regularly, and had my husband start listening on Audible. If I could afford it, I’d get a copy for every mom I know. I see so many of us struggling with young kids and this urge to helicopter parent and also enforce strict discipline out of fear that our kids are going to otherwise run amok and become little cretins. We have been thinking about parenting all wrong this whole time, influenced by arbitrary “norms” established during the Industrial Revolution. I see how so many of us have become stressed by parenting young kids that we begin to separate them from ourselves at an early age and keep them occupied with activities, screen time and toys so that we can have a moment of peace or get chores done, when all along we should have been teaching them (gently and patiently) how to assimilate and integrate into our schedule and lifestyle. I was one of those parents who used to dread being home alone with my son all day if my husband was away or my son had a day off of school/daycare. I felt that I had to plan out something to do for every moment of the day and manage his boredom. This book showed me that there is another way. I can bring him along on my journey and do the things I want to do, encourage helpfulness and cooperation, and not micromanage his time. The strategies in this book really work, even for my highly spirited toddler - and far better than punishments, demands and threats. I can’t recommend it highly enough.
    14 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on March 3, 2024
    Probably the first and last time I will ever say this about a parenting book- or any non fiction book- but I couldn’t put the book down!

    I hardly ever read through an entire book like this cover to cover- but this book I read in its entirety in less than a week.

    It was so helpful, so practical and so hopeful.
    The stories were entertaining and instructive and I love how humble and relatable the author is.
    I teared up and laughed multiple times.
    Reading this book was like going on a fun trip around the world with a friend and learning so much useful information at the same time.

    I am around kids all the time but I don’t have kids yet, because it has been overwhelming to me how stressful parenting seems to be from watching other parents. But this book actually made me WANT to have kids and feel excited about parenting, unlike a few other parenting books I have picked up.

    The information she gives is easy and laid out well, practical and easy to remember and seems simple to implement.

    I’d highly recommend reading this whether you have kids or not. It will give you hope to be a parent, help you in your parenting journey, and help you with friends and relatives who have kids. It will also help you understand yourself and how you behave and think and act coming from a western background.

    I feel like it answered SO many of the parenting questions I’ve had, and honestly believe it may be one of the only parenting books anyone needs to read.
    3 people found this helpful
    Report

Top reviews from other countries

  • Deepa - Business account
    5.0 out of 5 stars build’s awareness as a parent
    Reviewed in India on February 9, 2024
    This book I would highly recommend for all parents. It easily calls attention to the mindset’s we carry, the skills we display and even gives a few simple tools we use.

    Making me aware of my own mindset was a game changer for me with this book
  • Intellektülle
    5.0 out of 5 stars Wow!
    Reviewed in Germany on February 4, 2024
    This book was recommended to me by my cousin who luckily already got to read it right before expecting his first child.

    I myself am more interested from a professional standpoint as I work with children on a daily basis as a daycare worker. Needless to say that in itself can already be a struggle sometimes as you have to deal with the type of behavior described in this book not only times 1-3 but times 20+.

    Working in daycare with the Waldorf/Steiner approach I was glad to see we already practice many of the advice from this book or they even embody our core principles - like modeling the right behavior for children for example instead of verbal instruction. Still there is always roam to improvement and I found many helpful tips I can apply in my daily work life plus reading this was a huge inspiration for me to again question pretty much everything I'm doing working with kids on a daily basis! Not to mention this book helped me get way more comfortable with facing - and comfortably answering - many of the parents questions I'm approached with on an almost daily basis. Not having children myself I always struggle with giving "2nd hand advice" to families regarding their parenting practices and routines but now I can adapt or explain a lot of the things we're doing in daycare on a daily basis to their specific situation.

    So overall this book was a huge enrichment to me and I can - and do regularly - wholeheartedly recommend it to all (struggling) parents or even parwnts who just want to broaden their view on what parenting in this day and age in our western society entails and how it CAN look like!
  • #girlboss
    5.0 out of 5 stars Should be mandatory
    Reviewed in Spain on January 22, 2024
    I love it! This book should be mandatary for all parents. Best book I’ve come across.
  • Kindle Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars The only parenting book you need to read f
    Reviewed in the Netherlands on September 26, 2023
    I've written so many parenting books but nothing seemed to work. After reading this book, I realized in which ways my behavior and words were escalating many situations with my kids. I have learnt to ignore their bad behavior, stay calm while they are upset and most importantly I started to see them as capable individuals who can do many things on their own and also help each other out.
  • Guillaume Eizlini
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great Read for people even without kids and who don't plan to have any
    Reviewed in Canada on March 6, 2021
    This is definitely a parenting book and it reads like one, but it departs enough from that style, because it's examining cultures that teach through stories and modeling behaviour it does both and so is quite a bit more profound than books that tend to be lists of dos and don'ts. In fact the overall point is to throw out the telling kids what to not do.

    As a reader i identified with the authors struggle with anger and control. I too understood when she referenced the acronym WEIRD to define how the West raises their children and essentially we remain emotionally dysfunctional even as adults

    It reinforces just how much wisdom and knowledge and depth Indigenous culture has and how much as a colonising state Canada tried to destroy what in this book is clearly something profoundly needed by the West and has taken forever for the dominant culture to begin to understand what a gem inuit culture is, and in general nomadic and hunter / gatherer cultures.. Indeed one begins to start to feel that being civilized is about living in tight communities of hunter gatherers and that it's been downhill ever since agriculture arrived on the scene.

    I'm being extreme, there are many things that are nifty about western culture, but the loneliness and the sense that the nuclear family is an impossible state of isolation that really serves except capitalism (this is my own interpretation, not the authors, but the author's message is indeed about the isolation of nuclear family parenting)

    It's funny that as someone who doesn't want to raise kids at all, i find that it's because i feel like i have not been raised ultimately to be emotionally mature enough to do it right, and in many ways the book confirms that this is a growing problem in the west, mostly because of our need to control. and by letting go and having trust in the development of children as being far more self guided, and at the same time it makes us reflect on the little useless kings and queens we raise versus the helpful tight communities that arise while simultaneously providing more freedom, but also more freedom on how to help a community and belong.

    Id love to see this concept grow into something that can help adults who like me feel like western culture has left them lonely and emotionally broken.

    I actually think it is essential reading