I have two other books on my shelf on the topic of polarities and have been unable “get through” them. It seemed as if they were making a simple concept more complicated than it needed to be – at least to me, the average reader. Navigating Polarities is different. Emerson and Lewis have simplified a more complex process. I read it cover to cover and couldn’t put it down.
Building on the model of Johnson, they make several enhancements. The first of these is to replace the infinity loop with what they call the “Third Way”, taken from the work of Richard Rohr. The authors point out that the loop can create an unintended pendulum effect from one pole to the next in an attempt to get the benefits or upsides of both poles. I have personally found this to be true in using the old framework.
The Third Way is genius because it creates something new as opposed to some sort of balancing act. Instead of shifting from one set of behaviors to another and back again in a dynamic flow (as the old model suggests), the Third Way suggests that you grow into something that requires bigger capacity, more risk and more compassion. In this way it is truly developmental. Emerson and Lewis provide a map and a set of guidelines for identifying and naming both the Third Way and the vulnerability required to stand in it. It’s a full-on subject-object move.
We are also introduced to the delightful concept of “standing in our diagonal”. This is where we identify (or over identify) with the upside of our preferred pole and dis-identify (or villainize) the down side of the other. It was so great to read this, because I come across this with clients all the time. What I often hear is “don’t ask me to become that”(where that = Not Me). The beauty about the Emerson and Lewis process is that we don’t ask clients to become “that” (the thing they don’t like). Instead, we ask them to name and stand in a Third Way. This can be a great relief to many people. It is also another subject-object move that supports a sort of softening to the Other and a Melting of Fears.
The last piece that is invaluable is the inclusion of a “strategies” section of the map. This really supports immediate action and sustainability over time.
What makes the book so readable is that the authors take you through step by step of how to do the work- both with individuals and with groups. It’s all very clearly laid out. I felt as if Emmerson and Lewis were giving away the secret sauce. If that was their goal, they certainly succeeded. What a gift.
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Reviews with images
Brilliant & practical framework to help navigate paradox!
I am on holiday in Mexico and wanted to let you, Brian and Kelly know how much I am enjoying reading your book! I just love how you have adapted Barry Johnson's polarity management work into the Paradox Navigator. There is so much about what you have written that resonates for me, both personally and in my coaching & consulting practice. I especially like how you have incorporated Richard Rohr’s Third Way as a 'being' practice (not doing); identified the suffering and navigating paradox pathways; addressed the vulnerability (risks and courage required to navigate paradox) so explicitly, plus the Polarity Navigator provides a simple map which is very accessible and clear. As someone who consistently works with leaders who have to navigate polarities/paradoxes like Task::Relationship and Individual::Team etc, this book is an excellent resource I can highly recommend to my clients. Thank you!
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A resource for every manager or leader
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 30, 2023Anne Nagle
I have passed this book on many times
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 1, 2020