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Free-Range Kids: How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts With Worry) Paperback – April 10, 2010

by Lenore Skenazy (Author)
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 435 ratings
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Free-Range Kids: How Parents and Teachers Can Let Go and Let Grow
Free-Range Kids: How Parents and Teachers Can Let Go and Let Grow
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FREE RANGE KIDS has become a national movement, sparked by the incredible response to Lenore Skenazy?s piece about allowing her 9-year-old ride the subway alone in NYC. Parent groups argued about it, bloggers, blogged, spouses became uncivil with each other, and the media jumped all over it. A lot of parents today, Skenazy says, see no difference between letting their kids walk to school and letting them walk through a firing range. Any risk is seen as too much risk. But if you try to prevent every possible danger or difficult in your child?s everyday life, that child never gets a chance to grow up. We parents have to realize that the greatest risk of all just might be trying to raise a child who never encounters choice or independence.
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  1. Print length
    225 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Jossey-Bass Inc Pub
  4. Publication date
    April 10, 2010
  5. Dimensions
    5.75 x 0.75 x 8.75 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    0470574755
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0470574751
  8. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Library Journal Starred Review - Skenazy flies the black flag of America’s Worst Mom, a title this syndicated columnist and NPR commentator earned by allowing her nine-year-old son to ride the New York City public transit alone in 2008. Here, she puts parents? fears to bed by examining the statistical likelihood of the dangers we most fear (murder, baby-snatching, etc.). Drawing on facts, statistics, and humor, she convincingly argues that this is one of the safest periods for children in the history of the world, reiterating that mostly, the world is safe and mostly, people are good. Even the lowest-flying helicopter parents would have trouble disagreeing that we have entered an era that says you cannot trust yourself. Trust a product instead. Skenazy argues that it’s time to retire the national pastime of worrying and that childhood is supposed to be about discovering the world, not being held captive. The obvious has never been so hilarious.

"Skenazy will find plenty of supporters for her contention that, in a world where the rights of chickens to roam freely are championed, it's time to liberate the kids." (The Wall Street Journal, April 24, 2009)

"Skenazy advocates for a child's right to separate gradually from a parent's assistance and to learn the joy and self-confidence that comes from trying out independence."
—Christian Century (November 2009)

"Free-Range Kids is the best kind of manifesto: smart, funny, rigorous, sane, impassioned, and bristling with common sense. If you’re a parent, or planning to become one, read this book. You have nothing to lose–apart from your anxiety."
—Carl Honoré, author, In Praise of Slowness and Under Pressure

"Even scaredy-cat parents like myself now have a how-to manual on overcoming irrational suspicions and, finally, differentiating between an axe murderer and a play date!"
—David Harsanyi, syndicated columnist and author, Nanny State.

"Free-Range Kids makes the perfect baby shower gift."
—Nancy McDermott, parenting blogger, Spiked Online

"Moral insight without moralizing—how rare is that?"
—Amity Shlaes, author, The Forgotten Man

"Keep Free-Range Kids on your bedstand next to your bible and the TV remote, and refer to as needed during the 11 o'clock news."
—Jordan Lite, news reporter, Scientific American online

"Read this book—Mommy said you could."
—Penn Jillette, Penn & Teller

From the Inside Flap

Critical Praise for Free-Range Kids

"Skenazy will find plenty of supporters for her contention that, in a world where the rights of chickens to roam freely are championed, it's time to liberate the kids."
—The Wall Street Journal

"A bubbly but potent corrective for the irrational fears that drive so many parents crazy."
—Robert Needlman, M.D., coauthor, Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care, 8th Edition

"Lenore Skenazy is a national hero."
—Mary Roach, author, Bonk and Stiff

READERS RAVE TOO

"I read the whole thing and feel so much better! The pressure of always trying to do the exact right thing for my kids was exhausting. In truth, I have two normal, high-energy boys who need to be able to explore the world. Thank you!"

"Your book had me laughing so hard that my husband had to come and see if I was okay! (I think my gasping sounded like sobbing.)"

"Just what the doctor ordered. I'm a single mother of two girls, 7 and 10, in a middle-class suburb that is very safe. I needed the advice in your book and had a lot of belly laughs reading it."

"I didn't even realize the path I was going down until I stumbled across your book. Letting go feels great, and I can really see a difference in my son. He plays outside all the time with his group, and he loves being able to run to all of his friends' houses, alone, to see if they can play. It's a proud moment for both of us."

"I was finding myself getting paranoid. I am so happy I read your book! It has really helped me relax."

"Now if I can just get my wife to read it."

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Jossey-Bass Inc Pub; 1st edition (April 10, 2010)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 225 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0470574755
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0470574751
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 11.2 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.75 x 0.75 x 8.75 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 435 ratings

About the author

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Lenore Skenazy

Lenore Skenazy

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Ever since her column “Why I Let My 9-Year-Old Ride the Subway Alone” created a media firestorm, Lenore has been declaring that our kids are safer and smarter than our culture gives them credit for. In response to the blowback, she started Free-Range Kids, the blog-turned-book-turned-movement that garnered her the nickname, “America’s Worst Mom.” She has lectured everywhere from Microsoft to DreamWorks to conferences and schools across the country, and even the Bulgarian Happiness Festival. You may have seen her on The Today Show, The Daily Show, Dr. Phil, or her own reality show, World’s Worst Mom.

Lenore is co-founder and president of Let Grow, a nonprofit promoting childhood independence. Before all this, she was a reporter and columnist at The New York Daily News and New York Sun. Her other books include, “The Dysfunctional Family Christmas Songbook,” and “Has the World Gone Skenazy?” She also used to write for Mad Magazine, and Cracked. (Note: She did not “write for crack.”)

Lenore lives in New York City with her husband and beloved computer. Her sons are gainfully employed.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
435 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

James R. Holland
5.0 out of 5 stars "Worst Mother in America" Hits a Home Run Out of the Park!
Reviewed in the United States on May 20, 2009
Verified Purchase
What an amazingly funny and totally engaging book. The reader is hooked from the first page of the introduction. The author could make a good living writing jokes for Jay Leno or skits for "Saturday Night Live" or "Mad" magazine television. She has actually written for "Mad magazine" just to give the reader a clue to how funny she can be.
Be prepared to laugh as the author makes her child raising medicine go down easier. Her advice is common sense and more of the same. My wife and I had our third grader occasionally taking the commuter train home from his Needham Elementary School on days when my wife (a teacher in the school) had to work late and he loved it. We lived practically next door to the Back Bay Station in Boston. I had accompanied him on the first couple of test trips, introduced him to the conductors and told him to always tell the ticket taker where he needed to get off the train because they'd want to know that information, and I met him at the station until he decided he wanted to go it alone. Naturally, since that afternoon train was practically empty our son Eric soon knew all the conductors personally and they and the other regular passengers kept an eye on him. It was like a traveling version of a small village. Since I guess that qualifies my wife and I as "The Worst Parents in the USA" we can report that our youngest son survived fine and is now a very independent and well-adjusted young, 29 year-old adult.
For us the real dangers of child raising came from some of their teenage friends and high school classmates, but that's another story.
The author is attempting to keep mothers from smothering their children with love and raising them "to be a hothouse, mama-tied, danger-hallucinating joy extinguisher--just like she is."
This is definitely a page-turner of a book, but it may make you laugh so hard that your eyes will water so keep the Kleenex handy. Also be careful your hardy laughs don't cause you to wrench your neck or wake the neighbors with your bellowing. The humor is wonderful; the child raising advice is old-fashioned and "falling off a log" practical. One good suggestion follows another in machine gun-like fashion. One may not agree with every single piece of advice, but the book will open the eyes of many parents. Sometimes new parents can't see the path through the trees because of the media generated fog banks of fear and dread. People forget that television news is also selling a product to attract viewers and improve their ratings. Tabloid sensationalism still sells. If it bleeds, it leads. "As former Tucson anchorwoman Tina Naughton Powers says, `On local news, it's `Good evening and welcome to death, doom and destruction.'" But even in the children's classic "Little Red Riding Hood," she was safe while in the forest and it wasn't until she reached the safety of Grandma's House that she discovered the big bad wolf role-playing in granny's bed. But the village once again looked out for it's own and Red Riding Hood triumphed. Score one for little Red Riding Hood and scratch the wolf.
To help illustrate her points, the author passes on this excellent statistical illustration: "...The chances of any one American child being kidnapped and killed by a stranger are almost infinitesimally small: 0007 percent. Put yet another, even better way, by British author Warwick Cairns, who wrote the book `How to Live Dangerously:' if you actually wanted your child to be kidnapped and held overnight by a stranger, how long would you have to keep her outside, unattended, for this to be statistically likely to happen? About seven hundred and fifty thousand years." This book is packed with this kind of factual information. Facts help parents separate the endless media hysteria and fear mongering from reality.
Typical chapters of this volume include:" Know When to Worry, Turn Off the News, Avoid Experts, Don't Think Like a Lawyer" and "Listen to Your Kids." Common sense rules in this tome.
This should be required reading for all parents. It will help them eliminate their own stress and result in much more independent and better-adjusted children. Fun, folksy and informative read.
4 people found this helpful
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Kimberlee
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read for Any Parent Trying to Stay Sane in This Fear Fueled World
Reviewed in the United States on May 10, 2011
Verified Purchase
When I became a parent, one of the first things I made a priority was raising independent children. I wanted to make sure that as babies, they slept through the night before the age of 1 and that they would have no separation anxiety when it came time for me to return to work. Little did I know, that those two goals were relatively easy compared to the bigger goal of raising kids who would one day become adults who knew how to take care of themselves. While we had spent a great deal of time in a community where the kids were allowed to roam free and the adults looked out for them all, when we relocated to be closer to my job, I found the streets empty and the kids who were given a longer leash were thought to be wayward and mischievous.

Then I discovered the Free-Range Kids blog and a community of parents who were fighting against the lock-down of children because locking the kids in the house is bad for their development and definitely bad for parental sanity. I began taking steps to teach my son the importance of freedom and the responsibility that came with it. And of course, I met some opposition along the way. It was great to read Lenore's stories on her blog, but I decided that if I wanted to get the full benefit of her wisdom, I needed to buy the book.

Now I am more equipped to handle nosy neighbors who complain about kids playing and busy body community members who think my son should be supervised at all times. And my son is gregarious, social, mature and confident. I've even encouraged some of his friends parents to give their kids longer leashes and am planting the seed for my sister to hopefully become a free-range parent as well.

Free-Range Kids is a no-nonsense, hilarious look at how the lock down on childhood effects the kids, their families and the community as a whole. She provides facts to dispel the fear and fend off any nay-sayers. Ultimately, this book is a guide for any parent looking to raise a well-rounded, competent, confident and resourceful people, as opposed to needy and permanently infantilized "kids."
3 people found this helpful
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Hospital Rat
4.0 out of 5 stars A Quick Read with Good Information. Free the Kids!
Reviewed in the United States on August 30, 2014
Verified Purchase
This book was a quick and easy read with some well placed sarcastic humor. I still have people all around me trying to convince me that my child will be kidnapped if I let him have some freedom as he grows, but I heartily disagree and my resolve was strengthened by this book. I am glad that there is a public face out there in Lenore Skenazy who is fighting the paranoia in our society that is keeping kids from being kids. This book helps break down some of the reasons why parents should relax and let their kids enjoy some independence to gain confidence.
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Cranberry
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious and a relief to read!
Reviewed in Canada on January 14, 2019
Verified Purchase
I loved the author's writing style. It made me laugh out loud... what could be better for a serious topic? It is a breath of fresh air and balances sanity with a sense of "come on, people, let's not be ridiculous here..." (which seems to be getting lost in modern parenting!) Also, I ordered this used from the UK. The delivery was really fast and the book was in very good condition. Totally satisfied.
One person found this helpful
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damien
5.0 out of 5 stars Must have
Reviewed in Australia on July 31, 2019
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Celi
5.0 out of 5 stars Not the world's worst mum. Far from.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 7, 2014
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I found out about her blog (and later her book) through a blog listing, where it was labelled the most controversial of all parenting blogs. Why the most controversial? Oh I forgot: she let her 9-yo ride the NY Subway (equivalent of the London Tube in case you don't know) alone. I HAD to read more and find out about her story and it made total sense. It even struck a chord, as far as I am concerned. I was a rather bubble-wrapped kid myself. As a result, I ended up a bit of an insecure teenager until I moved abroad, away from the family, where I could make my own decisions. That book is comforting me into not repeating the same pattern with my own DD. I'm glad I'm not finding it too hard to let go, and allow her to do things that she can.

Lenore's opinions remain balanced. Although Lenore points out about what children were allowed to do in the 70s (walk to school alone, etc) compared to these days, she does insist that getting rid of seat belts and helmets is out of the question. In other words, it is not about taking life-threatening risks all the time, just about not becoming nuts with worry, as the title suggests.
As the author is American, some of the facts that she states do not apply in Britain, such as the absence of sidewalks (pavements) in some areas and the fact that Americans tend to drive everywhere due to the lack of public transports and the overall size of the country. However, despite the presence of pavements and schools and playgrounds within walking distance, I do see too many kids being walked or driven everywhere despite being old enough to walk or cycle alone. In my area there are nine-year-old still being dropped off and picked up from school, though it is a safe area with little traffic. I wonder how much of that is due to parental peer pressure, that Lenore talks about in the "Ignore Blamers" chapter. This one, I admit, is easier said than done. There were also things that I disagreed with in the "Avoid experts" chapter as I do believe in alternative forms of communication with our children.

That being said, I think this book is a real eye-opener, and gives a lot of information about other cultures and the way of life in the past (see Study History and Be Worldly) and we can learn a lot from that.
The book is not about attacking any form of discipline (permissive or authoritarian). The only parenting style that is challenged is overprotective, aka helicopter parenting, which involves heavy parental involvement and probably causes more harm than good.
6 people found this helpful
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Emma Emu
4.0 out of 5 stars gegen Panikmache
Reviewed in Germany on September 7, 2013
Verified Purchase
Das Buch ist zwar eher für den US-amerikanischen Markt, da in Europa Eltern doch nicht ganz so hysterisch sind, aber es ist trotzdem hilfreich. Durch Statistiken und Fakten wird erklärt, welche Elternängste irrational sind (z.B. Entführung), und wie solche Ängste das Leben unserer Kinder verändert haben. Beispiel: während in der jetzigen Elterngeneration noch die Mehrheit alleine zur Schule lief oder auch den Bus nahm, wird heute die Mehrheit der Kinder gefahren. Kinder spielen nicht mehr unbeaufsichtigt draussen mit Freunden.
Mir hat das Buch Mut gemacht, meinen Töchtern mehr Freiräume zu geben, auch wenn Nachbarn darüber vielleicht die Nase rümpfen.
2 people found this helpful
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Cheerioh
4.0 out of 5 stars à lire tout en gardant à l'esprit qu'il est destiné à un public américain... excellent par ailleurs
Reviewed in France on March 2, 2013
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Enfin un livre qui démontre par l'exemple et avec forces arguments qu'on surprotège nos enfants... ou comment découvrir que la peur d'enlèvement qu'on a en laissant nos enfants jouer dehors est relativement infondée... l'auteur aborde la plupart des sujets sur lesquels notre peur du danger nous fait brider nos propres enfants. Elle propose également des manières plus ou moins radicales de changer d'attitude. Plus ou moins rapidement selon les parents. En plus l'auteure a de l'humour, ce qui rend la lecture bien agréable.
Petite précision : il n'est pas question dans ce livre d'encourager les prises de risque mais plutôt de démontrer comment on protège nos enfants là où ce n'est pas véritablement nécessaire.
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