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How and When to Tell Your Kids about Sex: A Lifelong Approach to Shaping Your Child’s Sexual Character (God's Design for Sex) Paperback – August 6, 2019

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 213 ratings

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1 Million Copies Sold in Series
ECPA Christian Book Award Winner


When is the right time to tell your children about sex? And how do you introduce such a sensitive and sometimes awkward topic? Award-winning authors Stan and Brenna Jones are here to equip you with the strategies, tools, and insights for age-appropriate discussions with your children.

In this honest and practical guide to building a biblical foundation of sexuality, you’ll learn strategies for:
  • Developing healthy dialogue with your kids
  • How and when to explain the details of sex
  • Preparing for the physical changes of puberty
  • Preparing for dating, romance, and sexual attraction
  • Encouraging a commitment to chastity and sexual health
  • What to do if you’re getting a late start telling your kids about sex
Now revised and updated with helpful material on sexual orientation, gender identity, and the dangers of pornography.

Get the rest of the bestselling God’s Design for Sex series so you can start healthy discussions with your children at each stage of life―from toddlers to teens.
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From the Publisher

The Story of Me
Before I Was Born
What's the Big Deal?
Facing the Facts
How & When to Tell Your Kids about Sex
Customer Reviews
4.7 out of 5 stars 837
4.7 out of 5 stars 523
4.7 out of 5 stars 236
4.7 out of 5 stars 358
4.7 out of 5 stars 213
Price $10.22 $8.60 $13.94 $14.34 $18.59
Age Range 3-5 Years 5-8 Years 8-12 Years 12-16 Years Parents
Softcover
Pages 48 40 112 208 288
Product Dimensions 9" W x 6" H 9" W x 6" H 6" W x 9" H 6" W x 9" H 6" W x 9" H
endorsement 1

Patricia Weerakoon

Medial doctor, sexologist, and writer

These are books for our times, useful to all involved in nurturing the next generation: grandparents, caregivers, teachers, and the whole church community. They are comprehensive and deal sensitively with difficult topics, using research on parenting styles and sexual health to encourage and empower parents to be the first, principal, and continuing source of sex education for their children.

The books confront the clash of cultures between a Biblical worldview and the postmodern, individualistic mindset. It challenges parents to enable children of all ages to live in a way that is counter-cultural to current tropes for sex, identity, and gender. Above all, it directs us all, as fallen and forgiven people, to grace-based parenting.

Daniel Grothe

Associate senior pastor at New Life Church

Stan and Brenna Jones have done their homework. In a world of great sexual confusion, where cheap opinions and "hot takes" seem to be winning the day, these two are rising up as incredibly sane and sophisticated voices that can help show us the way.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Over a decade ago, and before I knew the authors personally, my wife and I relied on Stan and Brenna Jones’s How and When to Tell Your Kids about Sex for guidance on talking to our kids. Having seen their wisdom and insight up close, we still call them for parenting advice! The good news is that you can also rely on their wisdom in their newly updated version of How and When, with solid advice needed in today’s world. Ed Stetzer, executive director of the Billy Graham Center

Many Christian parents struggle with how to engage and influence their kids around questions of sexuality and gender―all the more as norms regarding sex and gender seem to shift beneath their feet. The God’s Design for Sex series by Stan and Brenna Jones provides valuable guidance and practical information that will serve as both anchor and lighthouse to many parents who feel tossed by the waves of a rapidly changing culture.
Mark A. Yarhouse, PsyD, the Dr. Arthur P. Rech and Mrs. Jean May Rech Chair of Psychology at Wheaton College, previously the Hughes Endowed Chair at Regent University

The sexual revolution has come as a wake-up call for Christian parents and educators alike. The “home team” now feels like the “away team,” and in a society so far adrift from its Christian moorings, parents can no longer try to outsource the moral formation of their children. Our greatest challenge is to show what we are
for as well as what we are against, and Stan and Brenna Jones have done the church a great service here. A comprehensive and authoritative set of resources, the God’s Design for Sex series integrates biblical instruction with evidence from the social sciences, common sense, and practical wisdom. Most important of all, it fires the imagination with a positive vision of the divine gift of sex and human sexuality. This is the go-to resource for all Christian parents, educators, and pastors who care about the biblically rooted formation and flourishing of their children. Glynn Harrison, author of A Better Story: God, Sex and Human Flourishing; former chair and professor of psychiatry at University of Bristol

Stan and Brenna Jones have done their homework. In a world of great sexual confusion, where cheap opinions and “hot takes” seem to be winning the day, these two are rising up as incredibly sane and sophisticated voices that can help show us the way.
Daniel Grothe, associate senior pastor at New Life Church

This is a book for our times. Although directed to parents, it will be useful to all involved in nurturing the next generation: grandparents, caregivers, teachers, and the whole church community.
How and When to Tell Your Kids about Sex deals with sexuality as part of God’s good plan for humanity and parenting as nurturing godly, wholesome young men and women rather than producing good kids.

It is comprehensive and deals sensitively with difficult topics, using research on parenting styles and sexual health to encourage and empower parents to be the first, principle, and continuing source of sex education for their children. In addressing relationships from the perspectives of chaste singleness and faithful, godly marriage, the book confronts the clash of cultures between a biblical worldview and the postmodern, individualistic mind-set. It challenges parents to enable children of all ages to live in a way that is countercultural to current tropes for sex, identity, and gender. Above all, it directs us all, as fallen and forgiven people, to grace-based (rather than law-driven) parenting.
Patricia Weerakoon, medical doctor, sexologist, and writer

From the Back Cover

The God’s design for sex series helps parents establish a biblical view of sexuality in the home. The parents’ guide, and four age-appropriate books, enable families to develop a healthy dialogue about sexuality. They provide children the foundation of truth and knowledge they need for when they are inevitably bombarded with confusing and potentially harmful messages about sex.

Each book communicates clear information and illustrations, delivered in a biblically holistic way.
How and When to Tell Your Kids about Sex is the parents’ guide in the God’s Design for Sex series.

Do you want to have healthy, honest, biblical conversations about sex with your kids?
How and When to Tell Your Kids about Sex equips you with the strategies, tools, and insights for age-appropriate discussions at every stage of your child’s life. In this third revision of the bestselling series, Stan and Brenna Jones provide honest and practical suggestions for every parent. Learn how to
  • Affirm the goodness of God’s view of sexuality
  • Explain physical development in age-appropriate ways
  • Prepare your child for the changes of puberty
  • Dialogue about our culture’s approach to sex
  • Create an environment of trust and honesty in your family
Now revised and updated with helpful material on pornography, sexual orientation, gender identity, and more.

Stan Jones, PhD, is a professor of psychology and core studies at Wheaton College. He also served as provost for 20 years. He is a nationally recognized Christian expert on sexuality. He has written books on psychology and Christianity and on homosexuality and has contributed numerous articles to such professional journals as American Psychologist. Brenna Jones has graduate training in biblical and theological studies and leads an active ministry of discipleship and support for women. Stan and Brenna have three adult children.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ NavPress; Revised, Updated edition (August 6, 2019)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 304 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1631469444
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1631469442
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.9 x 8.9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 213 ratings

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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on January 25, 2025
    Perfect book! I was able to use this to talk to my daughter about this important conversation which made it so much easier. I also purchased this set.
  • Reviewed in the United States on June 21, 2023
    This book is the companion book for parents in the "God's Design For Sex" Series by the same authors. The series contains three other books for age appropriate sexual education in the Christian family. As a parent, pastor and biblical counselor I found the book to be biblically sound, culturally relevant, utterly faithful to God, and immensely helpful.

    Written in clear, controlled, but unapologetic language, the book is very accessible for most adults. It is written from a Christian / biblical point of view, while giving appropriate voice to common secular points of view. The authors are refreshingly staunch in describing a God-honoring view of sexuality, while being careful to express Christ-like love and care for those who do not hold to this view. They are careful to give a healthy, compelling and rich description of one of God's great gifts to humans. I was so appreciative of their 'sex positive' approach.

    This book (and the entire series) overflow in practical, helpful, biblical wisdom. The authors are master communicators on this subject and offer parents actionable guidance and information to aid in talking with their kids about this wonderfully vital topic. Their work is the best I have read, particularly in preparing both parents and children to have effective conversations about sex... in all of its developmental stages. I highly commend it to parents and pastors. I believe you will find it refreshing, encouraging and helpful.
    10 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on June 25, 2024
    I am almost through the book and so glad I found it. Wholesome Christian values are painted all over this book. It’s not just about having a good sex talk with your kids. But about how you can use the sex conversation with your kids to grow closer and disciple your kid. Love the book. I would recommend to anyone.
  • Reviewed in the United States on May 19, 2024
    I appreciate that they give lots of information and suggestions while not prescribing what exactly you must do, because ever kid is different. Excellent resource for Christian parents.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on January 18, 2023
    Reading these books to my kids and it’s a big help on this MOST important topic. I feel needs to be discussed more in families rather than in a couple hours later in school. Would not have had this much detail and organisation without these books. So thankful!
    4 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on June 14, 2013
    This book is a well-organized and thought-out coverage of educating our children about God's design for sex. It has been very helpful in even forming ideas about how to cover this information with children of different ages and important topics to cover at each developmental stage. It made a lot of really good points that I hadn't thought about and is also good at reiterating the main points so that I didn't have to look back or try to remember what they were talking about.
    14 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on August 5, 2023
    This is a great series of books to use with your kids to share about a Godly view of sex.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on November 23, 2006
    The Jones take the issue of sex and explain why it is important to cover this with our children. As a dad with three daughters, I have to admit how difficult it is to talk to them about this, but I want to be the one who does and not the media, their friends, or ??? It's not necessarily a book you have to read, one step at a time, but the chapters are fairly well labeled, so you can feel free to skip around and read the chapters that are most pertinent to your situation. The approach they take is conservative, and they sometimes give several possibilities regarding issues that are not just black and white. Overall, I recommend all Christian parents read this and at least entertain the ideas given. Whatever method is chosen, the most important thing we can do is something rather than nothing at all.
    67 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Warren Pearce
    5.0 out of 5 stars Review
    Reviewed in Canada on May 24, 2013
    An excellent series to help parents initiate important conversations with their children about sexuality at various age appropriate levels. Highly recommended.