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So You Want to Talk About Race

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So You Want to Talk About Race Paperback – Illustrated, September 24, 2019

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In this #1 New York Times bestseller, Ijeoma Oluo offers a revelatory examination of race in America

Protests against racial injustice and white supremacy have galvanized millions around the world. The stakes for transformative conversations about race could not be higher. Still, the task ahead seems daunting, and it’s hard to know where to start. How do you tell your boss her jokes are racist? Why did your sister-in-law hang up on you when you had questions about police reform? How do you explain white privilege to your white, privileged friend?

In So You Want to Talk About Race, Ijeoma Oluo guides readers of all races through subjects ranging from police brutality and cultural appropriation to the model minority myth in an attempt to make the seemingly impossible possible: honest conversations about race, and about how racism infects every aspect of American life.

"Simply put: Ijeoma Oluo is a necessary voice and intellectual for these times, and any time, truth be told." ―Phoebe Robinson, New York Times bestselling author of You Can't Touch My Hair

Print length

272 pages
Language

English
Publication date

September 24, 2019
Dimensions

5.5 x 0.9 x 8.25 inches
ISBN-10

1580058825
ISBN-13

978-1580058827
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Popular Highlights in this book

What are popular highlights?

Tying racism to its systemic causes and effects will help others see the important difference between systemic racism, and anti-white bigotry.
Highlighted by 8,635 Kindle readers
Systemic racism is a machine that runs whether we pull the levers or not, and by just letting it be, we are responsible for what it produces. We have to actually dismantle the machine if we want to make change.
Highlighted by 8,526 Kindle readers
Privilege, in the social justice context, is an advantage or a set of advantages that you have that others do not.
Highlighted by 8,067 Kindle readers
Racism in America exists to exclude people of color from opportunity and progress so that there is more profit for others deemed superior.
Highlighted by 8,051 Kindle readers
Often, being a person of color in white-dominated society is like being in an abusive relationship with the world.
Highlighted by 6,313 Kindle readers

From the Publisher

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Simply put: Ijeoma Oluo is a necessary voice and intellectual for these times, and any time, truth be told."―Phoebe Robinson, New York Times-bestselling author of You Can't Touch My Hair

“Oluo is out to help put words to action, which at this day and age, might be exactly what we need."―Forbes

"Impassioned and unflinching"
―Vogue.com

"Fascinating, real, and necessary."―The Root

"Read it, then recommend it to everyone you know."―Harper's Bazaar (Named a Top 10 Book of the Year)

"I don't think I've ever seen a writer have such an instant, visceral, electric impact on readers. Ijeoma Oluo's intellectual clarity and moral sure-footedness make her the kind of unstoppable force that obliterates the very concept of immovable objects."―Lindy West, New York Times-bestselling author of Shrill

"A guidebook for those who want to confront racism and white supremacy in their everyday lives, but are unsure where to start."―Bitch

"Oluo offers us a reset, a starting point, a clear way forward."―dream hampton, writer, activist, filmmaker, and executive producer of Surviving R. Kelly

"A must-read primer on the politics of American racism."―Bustle

About the Author

Ijeoma Oluo is the author of Mediocre and a writer and speaker whose work on race has been featured in the New York Times and the Washington Post. She was named to the 2021 Time 100 Next list, has twice been named to The Root 100, and received the Harvard Humanist of the Year award. She lives in Seattle, Washington.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Seal Press; Reprint edition (September 24, 2019)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 272 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1580058825
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1580058827
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.9 x 8.25 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #15,780 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #9 in Civil Rights & Liberties (Books)
- #41 in African American Demographic Studies (Books)
- #42 in Discrimination & Racism

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4.7 out of 5

14,824 global ratings

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lara z

Insightful

Reviewed in the United States on February 25, 2024

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Absolutely wonderful and insightful. A must-read.

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KHensley

Brilliant and Actionable

Reviewed in the United States on January 31, 2018

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Are you working on yourself to check your white privilege? Taking action to dismantle structural white privilege and white supremecy? Reading articles, websites and books? Trying to piece together the issues with the language around white supremacy? This book is for you. Trying to explain to your loved ones why Racial Justice is so important to you? You need this book. It discusses so many racial justice topics and phrases clearly, authentically and with heart. Punches don't appear to be pulled and I think that was necessary. I highly recommend this book. In fact, I hope you read it in your book club, buy one for your community Little Library, and make it the book you give for birthdays this year.

Chapters important to me were: "What is intersectionality and why do I need it?", "But what if I hate Al Sharpton?", "How can I talk about affirmative action?" and "What is cultural appropriation?"

Two chapters broke my heart: "Why can't I touch your hair?" and "Why are our students so angry?"

Two favorite lines: "Nothing lets you know you are going to die alone like when you try to find a seat in a school cafeteria..."
"To refuse to listen to someone's cries for justice and equality until the request comes in a language you feel is comfortable with is a way of asserting your dominence over them in a situation."

You may have seen blog posts about paying Black Women for their work - for taking time to educate us. This needed education is a Black Friday, Cyber Monday and Small Business Saturday bargain rolled into one at thrice the price!

2 people found this helpful

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ShaSeli

Wonderfully informative

Reviewed in the United States on January 20, 2024

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As a woman of color raised in a white community this book was extremely relatable. It also enabled me to have some definitive action steps that I can use in my everyday life.

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R. R. McCray

Clear, moving, informative, and truthful. Highly recommend.

Reviewed in the United States on October 1, 2018

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This book is a great place to start in a journey toward understanding racism. I am speaking as white person who has been learning about racism for a few years now. I had some familiarity with the issues the book addresses but also found this book to be very educational. It illuminates many core issues such as microaggressions, the school-to-prison pipeline, addressing racism as a system and not just individual acts of hate, police brutality, the use of the “N” word, and more in a way that is accessible, moving, and clear. Oluo expertly balances personal stories with facts and statistics, and in doing so she paints a clear and detailed picture of the harm and scope of racism, all while giving advice throughout on how to address it.

This book was written for a wide range of people; for example, it has sections addressing white people in particular as well as sections written for Black people. The book is both sensitive and truthful; how the author takes the time to explain these important and difficult issues, how she includes painful personal stories, painstakingly shares statistics that prove systemic racism, and provides critique for the common missteps that white people make is truly an act of care. I hope many people will support Oluo’s labor by purchasing this book and sharing it widely.

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cdanniii

Great start to empathy and understanding

Reviewed in the United States on April 1, 2023

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I needed this book for a class. If I hadn't, I likely would have read it at some point. It's a well-written book on an increasingly difficult subject matter. It's written through the lens of experience with the ability to develop awareness and empower you.

2 people found this helpful

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Gary Moreau, Author

I can't reduce this book to a headline. It's too important.

Reviewed in the United States on January 18, 2018

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What author would write a book with a target audience that is likely to consider reading it, much less paying for it, akin to wishing for a root canal? Apparently, Ijeoma Oluo.

I am a white, sexagenarian, male, and former CEO. I am, therefore, a r#cist. (And yes, I am being sensitive to the censors who will look at this before posting it.) And I accept that because this isn’t about me. My personal tolerance is irrelevant. If a picture says a thousand words, an action is worth ten thousand pictures. That is how we should judge each other.

From my very privileged position in America, I have had a bird’s eye view of the systemic, institutional privilege (which in the negative is discrimination) that currently defines virtually all Western institutions today, including virtually all corporations.

Women have not shattered the corporate glass ceiling because the corporate institution was designed and built by men. Blacks have not achieved equity in the economic arena because it was designed by white men. Which is why, as Ijeoma points out, it really doesn’t matter if the man in charge is a racist or a misogynist or not.

The #MeToo and Black Lives Matter movements are all about gender and racial discrimination. What has enabled misogyny and racism, however, is the definition and allocation of power in our institutions and our society. Tolerance is great, but it’s nowhere near enough. Until we challenge the structure of power, we will not address the underlying cause of social and economic injustice.

Here are the main takeaways I got from this book:

- It’s not about me or Ijeoma. This is about structural injustice.
- It’s not about the tone of the discussion. This is about structural injustice.
- It’s not about intent. This is about structural injustice.
- It’s not about who is right and who is wrong. This is about structural injustice.
- It’s not about who can use what words. This is about structural injustice.

In the end, the great strength and the great weakness of our political economy is our over-riding emphasis on the individual and his or her opportunities and rights. There’s nothing wrong with that per se. But in this crowded, technologically enabled world we live in, it’s not enough. We can live individually but we can only be judged collectively. Our insistence that every conversation be about me, or you, or Ijeoma, or that person over there, is blinding us to the degree that we really are all in this together.

Scientists used to view the environment as a collection of independent and discrete parts. There was a prairie here, an Arctic ice field there, and a rain forest someplace a long way away. They now realize, however, that there is only one ecosystem and what happens in the rain forest is just as important as what happens in the Iowa corn field.

Other scientists have discovered the same thing about the other hard and soft sciences. Biology and economics don’t cut it any more. We have to think in terms of evolutionary biology and behavioral economy. Real understanding lies not just within a functional discipline, but also in the spaces that separates them and the overlaps that interconnect them.

So, I go back to my original question. Why did Ijeoma write this book? I won’t pretend to know the answer but it is clear that she has a genuine desire to see us face the issue. And after reading this book it is clear that the desire is genuine. And while it is theoretically true that if she is successful she will have to find something new to write about, so what? That is exactly the kind of binary, digital thinking that is at the heart of the problem. Life is not either/or. It is, with tolerance, and/but.

Ijeoma has a perspective. And the tone is sometimes a bit harsh. But how could it not be? In the end I think the most amazing and laudable thing about her language is that she obviously worked so hard to keep a lid on her passion. If she were white, we would elect her to high office.

Am I appropriating Ijeoma’s book by writing this review? Yes. But that’s irrelevant. I am not her. And my appropriation is going to paint racism with a white brush and, potentially, demean that pain. But that is the thinking of a binary thinker—either/or. And that, in the end, is what we have to overcome. Tolerant people are not binary thinkers. Tolerance is not a function of embracing the other side of the binary issue. It is about eliminating the binary divide. Ultimately, the racism talked about here is about institutional models of power that disadvantage one group over another. (And, as Ijeoma points out, there are many.)

In the end, I won’t say this was the most pleasant read. It was, however, a good read. It made me think. And for that I am grateful to the author. I won’t say, “well done,” because that would be an appropriation, as if I could evaluate how well she had represented her pain. I can’t. It’s hers, not mine. I will say, however, that “I listened.” And I listened because you were clear and authentic. And I do thank you for that.

A must read. Period.

2,439 people found this helpful

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UrbanEssence Bath & Body products

Wow! Wow! Wow!

Reviewed in the United States on May 22, 2023

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Another book that has been added to our home library. Ijeoma carefully explains race here in America. A well written explanation of what it is like to be a person of color in the United States when dealing racism.

In each chapter she offers a full account of the racism people of color face almost on a daily basis and then suggests steps to have real conversations about how to address it..

She describes in detail those small remarks and physical gestures of racism that's invisible to othera but seen by very well by people of color all.

3 people found this helpful

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LUCIA

Muy interesante.

Reviewed in Mexico on July 2, 2023

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Para mi investigación.

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Gemma

FANTÁSTICO

Reviewed in Spain on August 14, 2023

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Me está encantando! Lo recomendaría a cualquier persona!

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Amazon Customer

Necessário...

Reviewed in Brazil on November 28, 2020

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Quer entender um pouco mais sobre a discussão sobre racismo? Esse é um livro para começar essa discussão e trazer a tona questão que talvez você não tenha consciência. Recomendo!

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caroline

Must-read for anyone interested in bringing more justice to our society.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 15, 2021

Verified Purchase

This book is a must-read for anyone interested in bringing more justice to our society. Oluo writes with clarity and wittiness on topics that some might be scared to ask about and everyone should be aware of.
So You Want to Talk About Race is intended to help people of all races having healthier conversations on race and racism, navigating those with less fear and more confidence. It reminds you that you might not get it right every time and might hurt people unintentionally - but also that you can find a way to minimize pain to others (and yourself) and maximize what you can learn from each conversation. It is focused on the United States of America which, as the author writes, is not the melting-pot utopia that we were told it was. Oluo explains how everyone’s racial identity is ever present and interwoven into our social, political, and economic systems, and therefore cannot be isolated as a topic of discussion. She dismantles “whataboutism” by writing that no-one - certainly not disadvantaged white people - is erased by discussions of disadvantages facing POC. She goes on to define racism as “any prejudice against someone because of their race, when those views are reinforced by systems of power”. It is indeed crucial to include systems of power in the definition and tie racism to its systemic causes and effects, as it is not individuals but rather systems and our complacency in those that give racism its power. We therefore should not focus on individual intent but rather on fixing systems, such as the education system tailored almost exclusively to the experiences and history of white people. Oluo reminds us to “check our privilege” and how it might have influenced not only our status in society, but also our experience with and understanding of the world at large. Being white inherently prevents us from fully understanding the pain caused to people of color by systemic racism and we must be aware of the limits of our empathy. A chapter is dedicated to intersectionality, the belief that our social justice movements must consider all of the intersections of identity, privilege and oppression that people face in order to be just and effective. Our experiences in life and our interactions with the world are indeed informed by the myriad of identities we each hold, including gender, class, race, sexuality and so much more. We are invited to reflect on whether we listen to people whose identities and experiences differ from ours. The author then presents tone policing as a crucial term to understand in order to have productive conversations about race. Oluo explains tone-policing is when a privileged person in a conversation about the oppression of a disadvantaged person shifts the focus of the conversation from the oppression being discussed to the way it is being discussed, therefore prioritizing the comfort of the privileged person over the oppression of the disadvantaged person. Other topics covered include police brutality, affirmative actions, the school-to-prison pipeline, the “N” word, cultural appropriation, microaggressions, and the model minority. In the penultimate chapter, titled “I just got called racist, what do I do now?”, Oluo reminds us that our intentions have little to no impact on the way in which our actions may have harmed others and that by denying people their lived experiences we only further harm them. The last chapter is a call to action, listing ideas to help fight against racial oppression.

V

This book takes no prisoners and an absolute must-have

Reviewed in Canada on January 23, 2019

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This book is meant to make the very broad, nuanced and very often difficult subject of race accessible to those who wish to discuss it and it does so very well. Ijeoma's prose is empathetic, engaging, easy to follow, laden with historical examples and contexts, and backed by credible data and sources. She wants to get you talking about it.

She also does not sugarcoat a thing.

For marginalised people, but ESPECIALLY black people, this may be a bit of a draining read in places. I highly recommend it, but Ijeoma lays extremely bare her own personal experiences, ones that resonated with me and might do the same for you in a way that may leave you raw, bitter, cynical, hurting, scared, frustrated, uncertain, livid, and a host of other things, not the least of which is Tired. She makes you feel. That might be more than you want to deal with at times, but, if nothing else, it reinforces that you are not alone. There is also plenty of levity and working optimism, so it is not all bad.

Many sections are addressed to white people, but, like she, I recommend it to everyone, especially if you're part of a marginalised group and know something doesn't sit well with you or if you come across something racially charged, but have no idea how to approach or articulate it or if you even should. It's a great help in that regard.

The title also does the book a bit of a disservice, because it discusses INTERSECTIONALITY, which is of paramount importance. Race intersecting with things like gender and sexual identity, mental health, ability, others, and their impacts. It's something of all-around guide to people of today, incredibly relevant and handy to have and handles the topic thoughtfully. Not only does she challenge white people, but black people, others, the system, and, actually, herself. She challenges us all to be better, more mindful, considerate and inclusive.

The tragedy of this book is that it needed to be written at all, but it's absolutely wonderful, worth your time, your money, and your consideration.

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