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Self-Led: Living a Connected Life With Yourself and With Others An Application of Internal Family Systems Paperback – November 28, 2023

by Seth Kopald PhD (Author), Susan McConnell (Foreword)
4.9 4.9 out of 5 stars 23 ratings
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Self-Led walks you through the building of authentic relationships with yourself and with others. While reading Self-Led, you will gain a thorough understanding of what Internal Family Systems (IFS) refers to as your Self and your parts. You will learn how to form relationships with your parts by listening to and understanding them. You will also learn how to be Self-led in some of the most important aspects of your life: in intimate relationships, at work, while parenting, and in your own spirituality. By becoming Self-led, you will live a more harmonious life.
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  1. Print length
    144 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    November 28, 2023
  4. Dimensions
    6 x 0.36 x 9 inches
  5. ISBN-13
    979-8989214600
  6. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Seth Kopald is a certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner. He holds a PhD in Organization Management with a Specialization in Leadership and a Masters in Education. Seth's doctoral research focused on creating safe climates in which people can share their voice and feel heard. Seth is also a trained Montessori teacher for children 2 1/2 - 6 years old. He taught preschool children and went on to teach child development and early childhood education at a community college. He spent the next 15 years consulting with not-for-profit child care programs to improve their educational practices. Seth is a devoted parent and has taught parenting and coached parents since 1996. Seth has been an IFS Practitioner since 2012, and he is an experienced program assistant for IFS level 1, 2, and 3 trainings. He has also been on Richard Schwartz's staff for two different IFS retreats. For his day job, Seth works with individuals and couples to help them gain a more heart-centered life with better communication and authentic relationships. Seth specializes in Self-led Parenting, Spirituality, and Parts Art.

Senior Lead IFS Trainer and Author of Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0CNV4V3HL
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Exploration Services LLC (November 28, 2023)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 144 pages
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 979-8989214600
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 7.8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.36 x 9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.9 4.9 out of 5 stars 23 ratings

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Seth Kopald PhD

Seth Kopald PhD

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Seth Kopald is a certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner. He holds a PhD in Organization Management with a Specialization in Leadership and a Masters in Education. Seth's doctoral research focused on creating safe climates in which people can share their voice and feel heard. Seth is also a trained Montessori teacher for children 2 ½ - 6 years old. He taught preschool children and went on to teach child development and early childhood education at a community college. He spent the next 15 years consulting with not-for-profit child care programs to improve their educational practices. Seth is a devoted parent and has taught parenting and coached parents since 1996.

Seth has been an IFS Practitioner since 2012, and he is an experienced program assistant for IFS level 1, 2, and 3 trainings. He has also been on Richard Schwartz’s staff for two different IFS retreats. For his day job, Seth works with individuals and couples to help them gain a more heart-centered life with better communication and authentic relationships. Seth specializes in Self-led Parenting, Spirituality, and Parts Art.

Customer reviews

4.9 out of 5 stars
4.9 out of 5
23 global ratings
Taking IFS from What we KNOW to How we LIVE - a practical book for everyone!!
5 Stars
Taking IFS from What we KNOW to How we LIVE - a practical book for everyone!!
This is a book for everyone! Seth Kopald takes all of his IFS knowledge and experience and moves it from the head space into the living space. With reverence and respect for his own parts, having come through dedicated relationship-building in his own internal family system, Seth gently guides the reader into practical ways to apply this healing and life-giving model in real life connections. His personal examples give helpful context for what it is actually like to live a life that is Self-led.As a trained Spiritual Director and Level 1 IFS Practitioner, I highly recommend “Self-Led” which is now at the top of my IFS Resource Page for clients and anyone who wants to learn how to apply IFS to their daily life.Thank you, Seth, for giving us this new and personal resource for living a more Self-Led life!
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Top reviews from the United States

Shelly Johnson, LMHC CIFST
5.0 out of 5 stars Self Led is a much needed dose of goodness for the soul 🙏
Reviewed in the United States on March 9, 2024
Verified Purchase
I believe this is one of my top tier ‘favorite’ IFS books available! The Author is an advanced level IFS Practitioner, whom is also a beloved speaker & teacher. Most remarkable is his ability to put the model to the truest sense of the test with every aspect of his living.

Anyone that has ever met Seth, is rather quickly captivated by his chill & peaceful presence, sweetness, humor, love, & intelligence.

I really appreciate that there is a visually relaxed feel to the book… Kopald writes from a place of deep impact, gifting us with his wisdom on befriending our humanness, all while keeping it free of verbose clutter. Spacious = Zen 🙇‍♀️

The Author highlights the significance of becoming more Self-led, so that we can cultivate a harmonious existence internally & externally; becoming our own best listener will naturally enrichen our relationships with others. This book to me, is a message of HOPE, that comes at a time when the world needs an outstretched hand of warmth & kindness. Lastly & most importantly, Seth reminds us that healing & change is possible for ALL of US ❤️

~ Shelly Johnson, LMHC CIFST
2 people found this helpful
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5.0 out of 5 stars Essential
Reviewed in the United States on January 16, 2024
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There are certain books that I think everyone should read as a guide on how to be a human being and Self-Led is at the top of that list. Not only is it loaded with IFS wisdom but it is accessible to anyone hoping to understand themselves better. The book describes how our parts are affected and respond in our various roles in family, at work, as parents and in intimate relationships as well as our spiritual relationships. We learn how to listen to our parts and help them with personal examples and exercises. The author even describes what he had to do to stay Self-Led while writing the book, getting permission from parts, offering understanding and compassion to parts who were uncomfortable. It’s quite refreshing, easy to read all or any individual chapters of this book and is one to pick up and reread as life circumstances change. I’d love to see this writer create a similar book for young children.
3 people found this helpful
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Tracy DePue
5.0 out of 5 stars Taking IFS from What we KNOW to How we LIVE - a practical book for everyone!!
Reviewed in the United States on January 3, 2024
Verified Purchase
This is a book for everyone! Seth Kopald takes all of his IFS knowledge and experience and moves it from the head space into the living space. With reverence and respect for his own parts, having come through dedicated relationship-building in his own internal family system, Seth gently guides the reader into practical ways to apply this healing and life-giving model in real life connections. His personal examples give helpful context for what it is actually like to live a life that is Self-led.

As a trained Spiritual Director and Level 1 IFS Practitioner, I highly recommend “Self-Led” which is now at the top of my IFS Resource Page for clients and anyone who wants to learn how to apply IFS to their daily life.

Thank you, Seth, for giving us this new and personal resource for living a more Self-Led life!
Customer image
Tracy DePue
5.0 out of 5 stars Taking IFS from What we KNOW to How we LIVE - a practical book for everyone!!
Reviewed in the United States on January 3, 2024
This is a book for everyone! Seth Kopald takes all of his IFS knowledge and experience and moves it from the head space into the living space. With reverence and respect for his own parts, having come through dedicated relationship-building in his own internal family system, Seth gently guides the reader into practical ways to apply this healing and life-giving model in real life connections. His personal examples give helpful context for what it is actually like to live a life that is Self-led.

As a trained Spiritual Director and Level 1 IFS Practitioner, I highly recommend “Self-Led” which is now at the top of my IFS Resource Page for clients and anyone who wants to learn how to apply IFS to their daily life.

Thank you, Seth, for giving us this new and personal resource for living a more Self-Led life!
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5 people found this helpful
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Clay
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic IFS Primer
Reviewed in the United States on December 27, 2023
Verified Purchase
Here is the exact text I sent to Dr. Kopald after finishing Self-Led…

Seth,

I just finished reading Self-Led this morning.Congratulations on creating such a clear and helpful description of what IFS is and how one can practically apply it in so many areas of life.

Really well done. As soon as I finished reading it I bought copies for several of my coaching clients with whom I've used IFS as a tool. I think it will be helpful for them. It will also be required reading for new clients I onboard.

I'm so happy for you Seth!

Sincerely,
2 people found this helpful
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ASHLEY WALLMAN
5.0 out of 5 stars Easy to understand and grasp!
Reviewed in the United States on January 8, 2024
Verified Purchase
As an IFS coach, I buy any and all books IFS. It can be hard to recommend a good book to the person who is brand new to the model and concepts of “Self-led”. Even though I’m familiar with the model, this book was a refreshing read and covers the concepts in easy to understand language! Well done and what a gift to have and share with others!
2 people found this helpful
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Martina Kitty
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Primer
Reviewed in the United States on December 29, 2023
Verified Purchase
Excellent primer for IFS therapy and coaching clients! Beautifully written and straight forward. Seth's words contain compassion and wisdom gently carrying the reader forward to an understanding of what it means to be Self-led. Highly recommend. Thank you! Martina IFS Certified therapist and approved consultant.
2 people found this helpful
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Laura R
5.0 out of 5 stars Great and so readable
Reviewed in the United States on December 22, 2023
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I love this book, it is so straightforward and clear. Love that sections are broken up into the how we get activated in the different spheres of our lives. What a great addition to all of the IFS books out there! I am a therapist and recommending this book to clients
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cdr
5.0 out of 5 stars IFS Basics: A must read!
Reviewed in the United States on December 16, 2023
Verified Purchase
Seth Kopald has written an informative primer relevant to every one of us, beginners with the IFS model and experienced IFS therapists and clients alike. He tells a story that weaves connection, conflict resolution, and showing up in the world in a kinder, more compassionate way all together in a readable and understandable way. I recommend this to all my clients!
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cdr
5.0 out of 5 stars IFS Basics: A must read!
Reviewed in the United States on December 16, 2023
Seth Kopald has written an informative primer relevant to every one of us, beginners with the IFS model and experienced IFS therapists and clients alike. He tells a story that weaves connection, conflict resolution, and showing up in the world in a kinder, more compassionate way all together in a readable and understandable way. I recommend this to all my clients!
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One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

A Bambury
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best IFS books out there! Highly recommend!
Reviewed in Canada on February 1, 2024
Verified Purchase
I find this book very applicable and a great introduction to understanding IFS and our internal thoughts and feelings. I have recommended this one to my clients as part of their homework to integrate the work we to do together.
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natashaw
5.0 out of 5 stars The most user friendly IFS book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 12, 2024
Verified Purchase
Love this book. I recommend it to all my clients. Seth has made IFS accessible for all, an easily understandable intro and then focused in - with much clarity - on work, intimate relationships and parenting. Gold!
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miss s.
5.0 out of 5 stars A brilliant guide into the world of IFS and being more Self-led
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 3, 2023
Verified Purchase
This book is great for beginners in IFS to set off on their journey into being IFS, and, for those that already understand the model it offers deeper insights into the ways we can lead our parts better through the intricacies of life and relationships. Definitely recommend.
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Sarah
4.0 out of 5 stars Good for beginners
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 27, 2024
Verified Purchase
This would have been a very helpful book to read at the start of my IFS journey so I am trying to primarily review it from that perspective. The explanations of how IFS works are definitely more accessible than a lot of books out there at the moment, and is probably one of the few aimed at anyone practising instead of a clinician. I would recommend this for someone who is just getting started, who doesn't have a background in Psychology.

I appreciated that Kopald came across as someone who was willing to talk about nervous parts appearing when he tried to write certain chapters. The hesitance is a little refreshing when so much IFS literature does feel a little gung-ho, from practitioners who have been doing this so long it's become second nature. It can be easy to forget how it feels to do it as a beginner and I think this book does capture that experience better, abd and doesn't talk down to you.

That said I did find myself hungry for more detail. There are 4 areas of life covered here (relationships, work, parenting and spirituality). I didn't personally find the spirituality section that useful, and those pages could have been used for more detail on the other three sections. But that may be my own biases.

Overall it does feel like the book went for breadth instead of depth. Each of those life areas could make up their own book (as shown by Schwartz' You Are the One You've Been Looking For which focuses on just relationships). There are only a small number of exercises per section, and they don't necessarily offer anything different to what you'd get from reading any other book on IFS. I recognise that the process of sitting with your parts is a relatively structured thing, but I was disappointed.

In short, a good, solid introduction to IFS and how you might apply it in typical life situations. It is a much more accessible read than a lot of IFS books out there and I'd feel more comfortable handing this to a friend with no knowledge of IFS than some others on the market. However, if you're already up to date on the literature you might not find it so helpful.
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