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Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make Hardcover – April 20, 2021

4.8 out of 5 stars 543 ratings

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Updated with Two Bonus Chapters

When you say “I do,” you begin the journey of a lifetime― and you have dreams of that journey being perfect. But it won’t take long for expectations of the perfect marriage to fade away in the struggles of everyday life. A long-term, vibrant marriage needs to be grounded in something sturdier than romance―it needs the life-changing power of the gospel.

In this rebranded edition of What Did You Expect?, popular author and pastor Paul David Tripp encourages couples to make six biblical commitments to the Lord and to one another. These commitments, which include a lifestyle of confession and forgiveness, building trust, and appreciating differences, will equip couples to cultivate thriving, joy-filled marriages built on Christ. 

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From the Publisher

More Books by Paul David Tripp

Paul David Tripp (DMin, Westminster Theological Seminary) is a pastor, popular author, and international conference speaker. He has written numerous books, including New Morning Mercies. His nonprofit ministry exists to connect the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life. Tripp lives in Philadelphia with his wife, Luella, and they have four grown children.

New Morning Mercies: A Daily Gospel Devotional
Sunday Matters: 52 Devotionals to Prepare Your Heart for Church
Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family
Reactivity: How the Gospel Transforms Our Actions and Reactions
Do You Believe?: 12 Historic Doctrines to Change Your Everyday Life
Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Noël and I listened to most of this book driving in the car! Wise words. Authentic experience. Provocative application. Turned a long trip into a fruitful two-person marriage seminar.”
John Piper, Founder and Teacher, desiringGod.org; Chancellor, Bethlehem College & Seminary; author, Desiring God

“At once deeply theological and practically relevant, this is one of the top books on marriage I have ever read. Paul Tripp allows readers to examine marriage through a biblical lens so that we understand how God can graciously heal our hurting homes. As a pastor, I will implore our people to read this book as soon as it is available.”
Chris Brauns, Pastor, The Red Brick Church, Stillman Valley, Illinois; author, Unpacking Forgiveness; Bound Together; and When the Word Leads Your Pastoral Search

“What I’ve come to expect from Paul Tripp is consistently deep, transparent, biblical, wise, practical, gospel-driven counsel. Rather than muddying the water with self-focused strategies designed to meet our ever-multiplying needs, Paul, as the seasoned soul-physician he is, correctly diagnoses our problems and provides the cure―humble faith in Jesus Christ. I wasn’t disappointed. You won’t be either.”
Elyse Fitzpatrick, coauthor, Worthy: Celebrating the Value of Women

“Paul Tripp brings many years of counseling, growth as a husband, and deepening discovery of the liberating power of grace to this realistic and challenging guide to God’s engagement in redeeming marriages that are threatened by complacency, misunderstanding, and selfishness. The Bible’s message of the humbling and healing power of Christ’s mercy and the powerful presence of his Spirit in our homes comes through loud and clear. The daily practicality of gospel doctrine is made crystal clear by Tripp’s transparency about his personal missteps in becoming a Christ-reflecting husband and the many examples of couples who have discovered that they are sinners married to sinners. But that the third, divine Party in marriage gives hope and change when unrealistic expectations are shattered and when we confront our sin. But be warned: Tripp’s diagnostic questions are downright uncomfortable. Even those with strong marriages by God’s grace will find their deep tendencies toward self-coronation challenged!”
Dennis E. Johnson, Professor Emeritus of Practical Theology, Westminster Seminary California; author, The Message of Acts in the History of Redemption; Let’s Study Acts; and Perfect Priest for Weary Pilgrims

“Paul Tripp issues a challenge for couples to roll up their sleeves, get to work, and do what it takes to build a God-honoring relationship. He presents six commitments for couples to make, and contained within each is insightful, practical, and effective advice on how to construct a loving, growing, grace-soaked marriage.”
Mary A. Kassian, author, Growing Grateful

About the Author

Paul David Tripp (DMin, Westminster Theological Seminary) is a pastor, an award-winning author, and an international conference speaker. He has written numerous books, including Lead; Parenting; and the bestselling devotional New Morning Mercies. His not-for-profit ministry exists to connect the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life. Tripp lives in Philadelphia with his wife, Luella, and they have four grown children.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Crossway (April 20, 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 384 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1433573105
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1433573101
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 1.25 x 9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.8 out of 5 stars 543 ratings

About the author

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Paul David Tripp
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Dr. Paul David Tripp is a pastor, event speaker, and a best-selling and award-winning author. With more than 30 books and video series on Christian living, Paul's driving passion is to connect the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life. He and his wife of 45+ years, Luella, live in Philadelphia; they have four grown children. For more information, visit PaulTripp.com or follow Paul on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Customer reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
543 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find this marriage book to be the best they've read, with one noting it's fantastic for all relationships, not just marriage. Moreover, they appreciate the wisdom and insights provided, with one mentioning it was very helpful during a difficult time in their marriage. Additionally, the book receives positive feedback for its well-written content and sound theological approach.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

15 customers mention "Readability"15 positive0 negative

Customers find the book highly readable and consider it the best marriage book ever, with one customer noting its applicability to all relationships beyond just marriage.

"GET THIS BOOK!!! If your Marriage is going good. Get the book If your marriage. It's not doing good. Get the book..." Read more

"Love this book so bought a copy for my husband to read and highlight. As he got started he noticed very light print...." Read more

"...An older couple in the church went through it with us as well. Great book to read!" Read more

"...things I wasn't quite sure about, but over all felt that this book was a good choice." Read more

12 customers mention "Advice"12 positive0 negative

Customers find the book's advice enlightening and wise, with one customer mentioning it was very helpful during a difficult time in their marriage.

"...& I read out loud before bed daily I appreciate all the wisdom this book gives & the easy conversation that follows. Would highly recommend" Read more

"...I enjoy about Tripp's books is that even though they are full of advice and wisdom, they don't revolve around a list of rules or things that you..." Read more

"...Biblically sound and great points for deep discussions leading to changing old harmful habits." Read more

"Excellant exposition on the realities about marriage perspectives, but the authors perspective on God is Calvinist..." Read more

4 customers mention "Writing quality"4 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the writing quality of the book.

"Theological sound. Well written." Read more

"...the author did a good job at putting equal weight on both partners...." Read more

"...On the upside though the pages were clean, just the book has a weird smell to it?" Read more

"...It is not repetitive and it is written better. Tripp will give 10 different married couples example before he will get to the point of his chapter...." Read more

3 customers mention "Sound quality"3 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the sound quality of the book.

"Theological sound. Well written." Read more

"...Biblically sound and great points for deep discussions leading to changing old harmful habits." Read more

"...If you are on the fence about this book, get it. It is so rich and sound!" Read more

It arrived quickly...and dirty?
4 out of 5 stars
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on September 17, 2024
    Theological sound. Well written.
    2 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on March 11, 2025
    My husband & I read out loud before bed daily
    I appreciate all the wisdom this book gives & the easy conversation that follows.
    Would highly recommend
    One person found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on March 28, 2024
    GET THIS BOOK!!!
    If your Marriage is going good. Get the book
    If your marriage. It's not doing good. Get the book
    If your marriage could be better. Get the book a
    If you want to learn about marriage, get the book.
    If you want to learn about Godly relationships on any level, get the book
    😁😊 just get the book and be ready for what the Lord has to say to YOU.
    14 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 12, 2025
    It great
    One person found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on April 27, 2021
    I'm no marriage expert as my own marriage is only a few years old, but I've come to learn that getting married is the easy part--building a strong, healthy marriage is much harder. In this book, Tripp refers back to six core commitments as he builds a vision for a healthy, gospel-based framework for marriage. Each of the commitments build on and intertwine with the others as the book progresses. One thing I enjoy about Tripp's books is that even though they are full of advice and wisdom, they don't revolve around a list of rules or things that you absolutely must do if you want to change an aspect of your life. He always goes back to the gospel and reminds me that I am incapable of changing my marriage on my own, that it's only through God's work in both my life and my husband's life that our marriage will grow stronger which is a freeing way to look at things.

    Tripp is also a good storyteller. I particularly appreciated a lot of the stories that he shared and could empathize with some of the different struggles the couples went through. If I had any criticism, it would be that I didn't find a lot of value in the bonus chapters included in this revised edition, but with how rich the rest of the book is, I didn't feel like anything was missing and I'm sure that the bonus chapters will be timely and helpful for many other people who read this book.

    Overall, this is a really good book on marriage. I plan on reading it again with my husband, and I will certainly be recommending this book to others.

    Thank you to Paul David Tripp, Crossway, and Netgalley for the opportunity to read and honestly review this book!
    37 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on September 15, 2023
    I truly believe that this book by Paul David Tripp is the key to reversing the divorce rate in the United States. Like has happened before in the history of the United States we need a wealthy anonymous couple to give this book to every household in the United States. We could also reverse the suicide rate in the United States if we allow people to know what Paul David Tripp says in this marriage book.
    12 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on August 15, 2024
    I use this in biblical counseling with great heart level responses. Biblically sound and great points for deep discussions leading to changing old harmful habits.
    6 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on December 25, 2024
    Love this book so bought a copy for my husband to read and highlight. As he got started he noticed very light print. Now he’s 1/2 way through and finding tons of light print sections making it hard for him to read. Printing company may need to do some QA.

Top reviews from other countries

  • Thamara
    3.0 out of 5 stars Bought new and came looking like a used book
    Reviewed in Canada on August 10, 2023
    I just received it today and the cover looks used and stained. Since it's a light colour it's not nice at all.
    Customer image
    Thamara
    3.0 out of 5 stars
    Bought new and came looking like a used book

    Reviewed in Canada on August 10, 2023
    I just received it today and the cover looks used and stained. Since it's a light colour it's not nice at all.
    Images in this review
    Customer image