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Created for Connection: The "Hold Me Tight" Guide for Christian Couples (The Dr. Sue Johnson Collection, 3) Hardcover – October 4, 2016

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 721 ratings

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"Anyone who loves is born of God and knows God. For God is love." - John 4:7

Are you looking to enrich a healthy relationship, revitalize a tired one, or rescue one gone awry? Do you yearn to grow closer to God, and to further incorporate Him and His teachings into your marriage? We all want a lifetime of love, support, and faith. But sometimes we need a little help.

Enter Dr. Sue Johnson, developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and "the best couple therapist in the world," according to bestselling relationship expert Dr. John Gottman. In CREATED FOR CONNECTION, Dr. Johnson and Kenneth Sanderfer, a leading EFT practitioner in the Christian community, share Johnson's groundbreaking and remarkably successful program for creating stronger, more secure relationships not only between partners, but between us and God.

The message of CREATED FOR CONNECTION is simple: Forget about learning how to argue better, analyzing your early childhood, or making grand romantic gestures. Instead, get to the emotional underpinnings of your relationship by recognizing that you are attached to and dependent on your partner in much the same way that a child is on a parent, and we are on the Heavenly Father, for nurturing, soothing, and protection. The way to enhance or save our relationships with each other and with God is to be open, attuned, responsive, and to reestablish safe emotional connection. Filled with Bible verses, inspiring real-life stories, and guidance, CREATED FOR CONNECTION will ensure a lifetime of love.
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dr. Sue Johnson, a recipient of the Order of Canada, is an internationally recognized leader in the field of couple interventions. A clinical psychologist and Distinguished Research Professor at Alliant International University in San Diego and a professor at the University of Ottawa, Dr. Johnson is the primary developer of emotionally focused therapy (EFT). Dr. Johnson is the author of numeous books and articles, and she has trained thousands of therapists in North America and around the world. She lives in Ottawa, Canada.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Little, Brown Spark; Revised edition (October 4, 2016)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 336 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0316307416
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0316307413
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.2 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.4 x 1 x 9.55 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 721 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
721 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book provides meaningful insights and practical tools for couples' relationships. They describe it as a helpful resource that can be used alone or in conjunction with a therapist. However, opinions differ on readability - some find it relatable and understandable, while others feel the author is too busy using metaphors and analogies that it's unclear what she's saying.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

41 customers mention "Information quality"41 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's insightful and useful content on couples relationships. They find it meaningful and helpful, bringing them closer and strengthening their Catholic faith. The book opens doors for important conversations and helps them communicate better. It explores emotional attachment as ideal throughout Scripture, both between God and His creation and between humans. It provides new techniques and ideas on marriage that customers have never heard of before. Overall, customers consider the book to be an excellent source of valuable information and practice for any couple.

"...this book and I can say that the effects of reading this book, examining myself, and discussing it with my wife have been life altering...." Read more

"...Johnson also describes beautifully and graciously that it's NORMAL to seek attachment with our spouses and partners, and our responses are a part of..." Read more

"...Emotional attachment is clearly seen as ideal throughout Scripture both between God and His creation and between human relationships...." Read more

"...to strengthen their relationship in a way that is both based on relationship research and the truths of scripture." Read more

12 customers mention "Practicality"12 positive0 negative

Customers find the book practical and helpful for pre-marital counseling. They appreciate the exercises and how the conversations can be used. The book is a great resource that can be used alone or in conjunction with a therapist.

"...This book is well-researched and yet practical, well-reasoned and yet emotionally engaging...." Read more

"...In addition, the practicality of the exercises and way the seven conversations can play out in a relationship was extremely helpful to read and..." Read more

"This is a really great tool!!..." Read more

"meaningful and useful." Read more

13 customers mention "Readability"9 positive4 negative

Customers have different views on the book's readability. Some find it relatable and understandable for average couples. They say it flows well and is helpful for non-academics. However, others feel the author uses too many metaphors and analogies, making it difficult to understand. The book is complex but relevant and useful.

"...First, I found this book to be easy to read, the layout and organization flows from chapter to chapter...." Read more

"...Easy read and very useful information." Read more

"...The book is fairly complex, but relevant and useful...." Read more

"The voice actor who read this book did such an amazing job interpreting and adding subtle characterization that really made the content come..." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on May 8, 2017
    I've been a practicing Christian for over thirty years. I have a degree in theology. And I had what all outside observers thought was a great marriage. Only after my marriage was close to dissolving did my wife and I seek out counseling. We chose our counselor partly because of her explanation of EFT. She recommended this book and I can say that the effects of reading this book, examining myself, and discussing it with my wife have been life altering. I only wish that this book had been available and that we had read it at the beginning of our marriage as it might have saved us from the greatest strife in our married life. This book is well-researched and yet practical, well-reasoned and yet emotionally engaging. Furthermore, as a Christ-follower the spiritual content does not feel "shoehorned" in, but instead faithfully synthesizes the age old truth of God's love and plan of redemption with proven scientific, clinical research. I cannot recommend it highly enough.
    103 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on April 25, 2019
    My husband is a MFT, so we talk and read about relationships a lot. I was weary of reading "silly" relationship books that dragged out a theory or idea over 200 pages that could be explained in 15 or less. Created for Connection really goes deep in explaining how attachment affects us for our whole lives, into all of our relationships. Dr. Johnson also describes beautifully and graciously that it's NORMAL to seek attachment with our spouses and partners, and our responses are a part of that seeking. This book is worth your time if you are seeking to understand relationship dynamics and willing to dig in. I think that couples who read it with seriousness will find improvement in their relationship.
    8 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on August 25, 2023
    I utilize this in my therapy practice to support couples in better understanding themselves and their partner. The videos, workbook, and book can be used in a group or in couples work.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on January 18, 2021
    I had purchased this book to seek an understanding of relationships from a faith based perspective. I am not a practicing Christian, but raised Catholic in name. First, I found this book to be easy to read, the layout and organization flows from chapter to chapter. In addition, the practicality of the exercises and way the seven conversations can play out in a relationship was extremely helpful to read and connect to. I did not find the book overtly Christian, but rather a way that relationships are presented from different sides of understanding.
    7 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 31, 2025
    Highly recommend this book on attachment theory for marriages. Emotional attachment is clearly seen as ideal throughout Scripture both between God and His creation and between human relationships. Easy read and very useful information.
  • Reviewed in the United States on November 12, 2016
    Sue Johnson is one of the world’s leading couple’s therapists and originator of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). Her earlier book Hold Me Tight guided couples through seven conversations, based on EFT, designed to deepen their relationship and strengthen their bond. In Created for Connection, Sue Johnson and Kenny Sanderfer revised Hold Me Tight to include reflections on the harmony between the science of love and the teachings of love found in the Christian scriptures. As in the book Hold Me Tight, Created for Connection walks a couple through key conversations that help restore a sense of emotional safety in their relationship followed by conversations designed to deepen their emotional connection. As an EFT therapist, I highly recommend this book for couples who desire to strengthen their relationship in a way that is both based on relationship research and the truths of scripture.
    51 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on January 24, 2023
    I highly recommend this book. I would also suggest that if you are married and need guidance, see a therapist specifically trained in the methodology referred to in this book called "Emotionally Focused Therapy." If you have been married for any time, you know you will need help at some point in your marriage; it is hard! Stay the course, read this book and find an EFT therapist.
    The book itself is a good size, and the print size is decent, so you may not need to break out the readers.
    3 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on May 7, 2021
    The voice actor who read this book did such an amazing job interpreting and adding subtle characterization that really made the content come alive.

    The content of the book is the most important information and practice that any couple, Christian or not, can put into play for their marriage. This book is for anyone who wants depth and wholehearted love to grow throughout their married life.
    8 people found this helpful
    Report

Top reviews from other countries

  • M. R. Murray
    5.0 out of 5 stars Christian version of Hold Me Tight
    Reviewed in Canada on August 10, 2022
    I read Hold Me Tight first. Created for Connection is very similar. These are books aimed at restoring marriage relationships that have been going for a while but are no longer thriving or even seeming to be at an end. It won't save every marriage but it can help those that still have a desire to reconnect.
  • kindleman
    5.0 out of 5 stars An essential read for any married couple seeking to invest in their relationship
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 30, 2017
    I was introduced to this book through attending a conference day where the co-author, Kenny Sanderfer was launching this into the UK. It recognises the value of Dr Sue Johnson's Hold Me Tight book on Emotionally Focussed Therapy (EFT) and the attachment parallels that exist with our loving Father in heaven.
    I enjoyed the systematic approach, written in a very accessible style that couples can work through together. Each chapter finishes with a very practical section encouraging readers to apply these principles to their own relationship before progressing to the next chapter. The case studies used were helpful and even though this was created in the States and I am in the UK, I felt empathy with the couples and could ignore cultural differences.
    Thoroughly recommended.
  • Christy Linde
    5.0 out of 5 stars Really Good Marriage Resource
    Reviewed in Canada on December 11, 2022
    I preferred this book to most marriage books I've read. No silly exercises or stereotypes about men and women. Just really great research based information about attachment.
  • Harminder Rhami
    5.0 out of 5 stars Phil's likes
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 23, 2017
    I related to almost all the problems flagged and investigated by Sue. Her solutions were on point and have unequivocally helped me to connect to my wife
  • Sam Berg
    5.0 out of 5 stars Helping couples enrich their relationships
    Reviewed in Canada on February 16, 2017
    An excellent resource for couples who are seeking to escape from the restricting, or conflicted patterns that have captured their relationships, through guided conversations. The book is based on the findings about attachment theory that produced Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. it is written specifically for Christian couples. (The secular version is called "Hold Me Tight".) Pastors and counsellors can usefully recommend it to couples that come to them.