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Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life Hardcover – June 1, 2021

4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 1,081 ratings

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* Financial Times Business Book of the Month * Next Big Idea Club Nominee * One of Bloomberg's "52 New Books That Top Business Leaders Are Recommending" * Aleo Review of Books 2022 Book of the Year *

A groundbreaking exploration of why we want what we want, and a toolkit for freeing ourselves from chasing unfulfilling desires.


Gravity affects every aspect of our physical being, but there’s a psychological force just as powerful―yet almost nobody has heard of it. It’s responsible for bringing groups of people together and pulling them apart, making certain goals attractive to some and not to others, and fueling cycles of anxiety and conflict. In
Wanting, Luke Burgis draws on the work of French polymath René Girard to bring this hidden force to light and reveals how it shapes our lives and societies.

According to Girard, humans don’t desire anything independently. Human desire is
mimetic―we imitate what other people want. This affects the way we choose partners, friends, careers, clothes, and vacation destinations. Mimetic desire is responsible for the formation of our very identities. It explains the enduring relevancy of Shakespeare’s plays, why Peter Thiel decided to be the first investor in Facebook, and why our world is growing more divided as it becomes more connected.

Wanting also shows that conflict does not arise because of our differences―it comes from our sameness. Because we learn to want what other people want, we often end up competing for the same things. Ignoring our large similarities, we cling to our perceived differences.

Drawing on his experience as an entrepreneur, teacher, and student of classical philosophy and theology, Burgis shares tactics that help turn blind wanting into intentional wanting--not by trying to rid ourselves of desire, but by desiring differently. It’s possible to be more in control of the things we want, to achieve more independence from trends and bubbles, and to find more meaning in our work and lives.

The future will be shaped by our desires.
Wanting shows us how to desire a better one.

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From the Publisher

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Fascinating, well-written, and original--I had a hard time putting this down. Everyone wants to believe they can think on their own but we are all creatures of imitation. Luke's book changed how I think about thinking." ―Morgan Housel, author of The Psychology of Money

“This is the clearest, most accessible introduction to René Girard available.”
-- Peter Thiel

"
Wanting is a thought-provoking book. It’s also a deeply moral one." --Sunday Times (UK)

“Fresh perspectives on our desires, what is really driving them and how we can take more control.” --
Financial Times on Wanting, a Business Book of the Month selection

"[A] fascinating treatise that desire is often misdirected. ... Through thoughtful anecdotes, Burgis makes a case that 'the transformation of desire happens when we become less concerned about the fulfillment of our own desires and more concerned about the fulfillment of others’ desires'." --
Publishers Weekly

“Packed with insights about busting out of mimetic violence.” ―Irshad Manji, author of Don't Label Me

“This is the clear and concise book that I’ve wanted to write for thirty years, ever since discovering the groundbreaking, vital importance of mimetic theory for the survival of the human species.” ―Paul Neuchterlein, theologian

"This book is hugely important and doubly necessary―because it describes a force influencing human behaviour which is inarguably powerful and universal, yet which we seem evolutionarily wired not to notice at all." ―
Rory Sutherland, Vice Chairman of Ogilvy Group and author of Alchemy: The Dark Art and Curious Science of Creating Magic in Brands, Business, and Life

"In his book
Wanting, Luke Burgis manages to do what is often impossible―he makes a complex and nuanced theory accessible to everyone by relating it to lived experiences with practical takeaways like a list of valuable tactics the reader can use and put into practice immediately. I highly recommend this brilliant look at a fascinating theory of what really drives human desire." ―James P. O'Shaughnessy, Chairman of O'Shaughnessy Asset Management and author of What Works on Wall Street

“This book makes a startling case that many of our goals are merely reflections of what we think others want. It’s a spellbinding read, and it will leave you rethinking your own motivations for months and maybe even years later.” --
Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author of Think Again and Originals, and host of the TED podcast WorkLife

"René Girard was a genius whose ideas about how and why people imitate each other are crucial for understanding human behavior, especially behavior in groups. In
Wanting, Luke Burgis makes Girard’s ideas come alive for those of us who don’t have a Ph.D. in literary studies. This fascinating and playful book will be of particular help for anyone who leads or manages people, and it offers all of us powerful explanations for why we want things, and why society seems to be going haywire in our increasingly connected world." --Jonathan Haidt, NYU-Stern School of Business

"Luke Burgis has written a stunning, even revolutionary book. He writes about our inner desires―who and what we want―and the very origins of our desires.
Wanting is a rare book that captures and enchants one’s mind while simultaneously providing practical tips for improving our business success and fundamental happiness. If you are curious what makes humans tick, why people become models for you and others, and why rivalry is such a powerful force, you want to read Wanting. It is revelatory." --Andrew N. Meltzoff, co-Director of the Institute for Learning and Brain Science at the University of Washington and co-Author, The Scientist in the Crib

"Luke Burgis’
Wanting is a brilliant exploration of the hidden and powerful dynamics of desire operating in our age of social media memes, commercial rivalry, and rising partisan scapegoating and violence. By helping us understand the destructive power of mimetic desire he offers a way to extricate ourselves and our communities from its harmful grip to form a more human, empathetic, and value-based world that seeks to build up people rather than products. It’s a call to discernment and a deeper fulfillment that lights a path beyond the darkness of our current world." --Stephen Hanselman, New York Times bestselling co-author of Lives of the Stoics and The Daily Stoic

"In an era obsessed with the next new thing, it's both shocking and relieving to learn that there is ultimately nothing new under the sun. Luke Burgis, channeling and building on René Girard, shows us that imitation isn't merely the sincerest form of flattery; it's the closest to true innovation any of us will ever get. So copy me, please, and read this book." --
Douglas Rushkoff, New York Times bestselling author and Professor of Media Theory and Digital Economics at the City University of New York, Queens College

“One of the secrets to happiness is learning how to balance what we have with what we want. In
Wanting, Luke Burgis masterfully shows us how to understand and manage our desires, and thus achieve more meaning and purpose in our lives and work.” --Arthur C. Brooks, Professor, Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard Business School

"Is societal desire and your own desire driven by unconscious mimicking of models?
Wanting, Luke Burgis's deep exploration of the human psyche, takes you on a personal and historical journey through the lens of desire. Reading this book, you just might find that your past choices veered toward unconscious decision making. And, your view of history will become richer. This book is a personal journey worth taking." --Julie Wainwright, Founder & CEO of The RealReal

"Mimetic desire is a bit like the force from Star Wars―it's everywhere, it binds everything, and yet it's hidden in plain sight. Luke Burgis's book at last gives us a clear, concise, and thought-provoking look at this phenomenon. It isn't much of an exaggeration to say that this book will change how you look at everything, and it's a testament to the rigor of the research and the quality of the prose that Burgis manages to write about the subject in depth but without losing us to airy generalizations or reckless philosophizing. This is a must-read, can't-put-down book." --
Jimmy Soni, co-author of the award-winning A Mind at Play

"Luke Burgis brings a new and distinctive voice to illuminate the forces at work in our world and in our lives, drawing on the work of French theorist René Girard―one of the great thinkers of our times―in a conversational, engaging, and utterly practical way. Burgis unveils the power of mimetic desire both in society and in his own entrepreneurial odyssey. By the end, he helps you see the role that it plays in your own life."
--Cynthia L. Haven, author of Evolution of Desire: A Life of René Girard

"'Mimetic desire' is one of the big ideas discussed most frequently in public intellectual circles, and also in Silicon Valley. But what exactly is mimetic desire and why is it so important? Luke Burgis has produced the go-to book on this topic, and everyone with mimetic desire -- in other words everyone -- should want to read it." --Tyler Cowen, New York Times bestselling author of The Great Stagnation

About the Author

LUKE BURGIS has founded and led multiple companies. He’s currently entrepreneur-in-residence and director of programs at the Ciocca Center for Principled Entrepreneurship at the Catholic University of America, where he also teaches business and develops new education initiatives. He's also the founder and director of Fourth Wall Ventures, an incubator for people and companies that contribute to the formation of a healthy human ecology. He graduated from NYU Stern School of Business and later from a pontifical university in Rome, where he studied theology. He lives in Washington, D.C., with his wife, Claire.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ St. Martin's Press; 2nd prt. edition (June 1, 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 304 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1250262488
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1250262486
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.05 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.5 x 1 x 9.55 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 1,081 ratings

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Luke Burgis
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LUKE BURGIS has founded and led multiple companies. He’s currently entrepreneur-in-residence and director of programs at the Ciocca Center for Principled Entrepreneurship at the Catholic University of America, where he also teaches business and develops new education initiatives. He's also the founder and director of Fourth Wall Ventures, an incubator for people and companies that contribute to the formation of a healthy human ecology. He graduated from NYU Stern School of Business and later from a pontifical university in Rome, where he studied theology. He lives in Washington, D.C., with his wife, Claire.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
1,081 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book an insightful and thought-provoking introduction to a difficult philosophical idea. They describe it as an incredible, well-written read with clear ideas that are thought-provoking. Readers also find it fun and engaging.

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60 customers mention "Insight"57 positive3 negative

Customers find the book insightful and a good introduction to a philosophical idea. They appreciate the clear explanations and exercises. The book helps readers better understand the concept of mimetic (imitation) and create more meaning for their lives. It offers profound insights into human behavior and provides solutions to overcome it.

"...Ultimately, this is a book about inner metamorphosis, a sort of spiritual alchemy in transforming the desire engines of our lives into a more..." Read more

"...Overall it's a fun, quick read and an excellent introduction to a difficult philosophical idea which Burgis is clearly intimately familiar with...." Read more

"...Burgis has written the most practical book on mimetic theory yet. Not that Wanting is intended as a college textbook...." Read more

"...WANTING is an amazing piece of work sharing the details behind mimetic desire and how it directly affects those closest to us as well as our daily..." Read more

53 customers mention "Readability"53 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and recommend it. They appreciate the well-written chapters and the author's insights into mimetic desire. The premise and fresh ideas are appealing, and the book holds their attention throughout. Readers find it a valuable resource for business owners and anyone seeking a better life.

"...pages and chapters are a master class in grabbing and holding a reader’s attention for a topic whose importance may be in an inverse relation to its..." Read more

"...Overall it's a fun, quick read and an excellent introduction to a difficult philosophical idea which Burgis is clearly intimately familiar with...." Read more

"...Three appendices give: a glossary, with concise and accessible definitions of standard terms in mimetic theory as well as a few Burgis invents for..." Read more

"...WANTING is an amazing piece of work sharing the details behind mimetic desire and how it directly affects those closest to us as well as our daily..." Read more

6 customers mention "Fun"6 positive0 negative

Customers find the book engaging and fun. They say it's profound and transformational.

"...Overall it's a fun, quick read and an excellent introduction to a difficult philosophical idea which Burgis is clearly intimately familiar with...." Read more

"...If you like it, you will go down a transformational and fun girardian rabbit hole." Read more

"...Most importantly, Burgis explains mimetic desire. In an engaging and creative way he clarifies what's going on inside of us when we find ourselves..." Read more

"This is the perfect book for the times we are in! Engaging and outstanding with its dynamic ideas that make you think!..." Read more

A Truly Spectacular Book!
5 out of 5 stars
A Truly Spectacular Book!
This new book by Luke Burgis could actually change your life for the better. No hype. Just a rare, wonderful fact. In two days, it’s given me new ways of looking at pretty much everything and everyone around me, as well as myself. It may be my favorite book since a guy named Arrian jotted down what his Stoic teacher Epictetus was saying, or at least since an unknown poet wrote the story of Beowulf.The opening pages and chapters are a master class in grabbing and holding a reader’s attention for a topic whose importance may be in an inverse relation to its commonality of discussion in our time. We get to go with the author into PayPal founder Peter Thiel's home for a great conversation, hang out with Luke when the CEO of Zappos, Tony Hsieh, was trying to buy his own startup business, and then stand behind him as he opened the door to a hit man who came to visit about an unpaid bill. We learn about how Lamborghini was created and why the founder decided to walk away from the ultimate form of competition that he would surely have won. And why a Michelin 3 star chef, so ranked for 19 years in a row, asked to be left out of their famous guide. And on and on. There are so many great stories in this book that all shed light on our own lives in really new ways. They are such good stories, you have to run and tell someone right away.The topic of the book is the importance of two things in our lives: Desire and Imitation, or when the two are combined like they always are in our experience, Imitative Desire, or to use a word from the book’s subtitle, Mimetic Desire. From the moment we’re born, we come into the world as masterful imitators of others. It’s the way we get our bearings and begin to enter the adventures to come. And we also enter the world with needs that express themselves as yowling wants. But then the story takes a twist, and our wants begin to greatly outnumber our needs and play an even bigger role that those basic necessities in shaping our thoughts and actions and paths in the world.Socrates long ago urged us all to engage in self examination. The command was “Know Yourself!” We’ve long interpreted that as being about our own beliefs, emotions, and attitudes. Luke lets us know how importantly it’s about our desires—what they are, how we got them, and where they’re taking us.Ultimately, this is a book about inner metamorphosis, a sort of spiritual alchemy in transforming the desire engines of our lives into a more positive configuration and direction. It’s a book of great power and has been desperately needed in our time. Luke: What took you so long? Just kidding. No masterpiece happens quickly, and that’s as true of this book as it is of our best lived lives.I’ve been writing books of practical philosophy for about thirty years, and as I seek to be of help to people, I also try to read all the best current books that promise us new wisdom, great insights, and positive transformation. Most fall far, far short of their hype. Some are simply cons, bereft of usefulness and actually both misleading and dangerous. A few are very good, and rarely, now and then, one is actually great. This book occupies the outer reaches of that last category and is truly exceptional.Please do yourself and everyone around you a huge favor. Get this book and read it as soon as you can, and then read it again. It’s that good.Luke Burgis may have elevated himself with this book into the mantle of “The Most Interesting Man in the World.” I hope a Dos Equis Deal is in the works for him. But I'm equally sure he doesn't even want one, which is the real magic of transcendence to which he guides us in the end.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on June 7, 2021
    This new book by Luke Burgis could actually change your life for the better. No hype. Just a rare, wonderful fact. In two days, it’s given me new ways of looking at pretty much everything and everyone around me, as well as myself. It may be my favorite book since a guy named Arrian jotted down what his Stoic teacher Epictetus was saying, or at least since an unknown poet wrote the story of Beowulf.

    The opening pages and chapters are a master class in grabbing and holding a reader’s attention for a topic whose importance may be in an inverse relation to its commonality of discussion in our time. We get to go with the author into PayPal founder Peter Thiel's home for a great conversation, hang out with Luke when the CEO of Zappos, Tony Hsieh, was trying to buy his own startup business, and then stand behind him as he opened the door to a hit man who came to visit about an unpaid bill. We learn about how Lamborghini was created and why the founder decided to walk away from the ultimate form of competition that he would surely have won. And why a Michelin 3 star chef, so ranked for 19 years in a row, asked to be left out of their famous guide. And on and on. There are so many great stories in this book that all shed light on our own lives in really new ways. They are such good stories, you have to run and tell someone right away.

    The topic of the book is the importance of two things in our lives: Desire and Imitation, or when the two are combined like they always are in our experience, Imitative Desire, or to use a word from the book’s subtitle, Mimetic Desire. From the moment we’re born, we come into the world as masterful imitators of others. It’s the way we get our bearings and begin to enter the adventures to come. And we also enter the world with needs that express themselves as yowling wants. But then the story takes a twist, and our wants begin to greatly outnumber our needs and play an even bigger role that those basic necessities in shaping our thoughts and actions and paths in the world.

    Socrates long ago urged us all to engage in self examination. The command was “Know Yourself!” We’ve long interpreted that as being about our own beliefs, emotions, and attitudes. Luke lets us know how importantly it’s about our desires—what they are, how we got them, and where they’re taking us.

    Ultimately, this is a book about inner metamorphosis, a sort of spiritual alchemy in transforming the desire engines of our lives into a more positive configuration and direction. It’s a book of great power and has been desperately needed in our time. Luke: What took you so long? Just kidding. No masterpiece happens quickly, and that’s as true of this book as it is of our best lived lives.

    I’ve been writing books of practical philosophy for about thirty years, and as I seek to be of help to people, I also try to read all the best current books that promise us new wisdom, great insights, and positive transformation. Most fall far, far short of their hype. Some are simply cons, bereft of usefulness and actually both misleading and dangerous. A few are very good, and rarely, now and then, one is actually great. This book occupies the outer reaches of that last category and is truly exceptional.

    Please do yourself and everyone around you a huge favor. Get this book and read it as soon as you can, and then read it again. It’s that good.

    Luke Burgis may have elevated himself with this book into the mantle of “The Most Interesting Man in the World.” I hope a Dos Equis Deal is in the works for him. But I'm equally sure he doesn't even want one, which is the real magic of transcendence to which he guides us in the end.
    Customer image
    5.0 out of 5 stars A Truly Spectacular Book!
    Reviewed in the United States on June 7, 2021
    This new book by Luke Burgis could actually change your life for the better. No hype. Just a rare, wonderful fact. In two days, it’s given me new ways of looking at pretty much everything and everyone around me, as well as myself. It may be my favorite book since a guy named Arrian jotted down what his Stoic teacher Epictetus was saying, or at least since an unknown poet wrote the story of Beowulf.

    The opening pages and chapters are a master class in grabbing and holding a reader’s attention for a topic whose importance may be in an inverse relation to its commonality of discussion in our time. We get to go with the author into PayPal founder Peter Thiel's home for a great conversation, hang out with Luke when the CEO of Zappos, Tony Hsieh, was trying to buy his own startup business, and then stand behind him as he opened the door to a hit man who came to visit about an unpaid bill. We learn about how Lamborghini was created and why the founder decided to walk away from the ultimate form of competition that he would surely have won. And why a Michelin 3 star chef, so ranked for 19 years in a row, asked to be left out of their famous guide. And on and on. There are so many great stories in this book that all shed light on our own lives in really new ways. They are such good stories, you have to run and tell someone right away.

    The topic of the book is the importance of two things in our lives: Desire and Imitation, or when the two are combined like they always are in our experience, Imitative Desire, or to use a word from the book’s subtitle, Mimetic Desire. From the moment we’re born, we come into the world as masterful imitators of others. It’s the way we get our bearings and begin to enter the adventures to come. And we also enter the world with needs that express themselves as yowling wants. But then the story takes a twist, and our wants begin to greatly outnumber our needs and play an even bigger role that those basic necessities in shaping our thoughts and actions and paths in the world.

    Socrates long ago urged us all to engage in self examination. The command was “Know Yourself!” We’ve long interpreted that as being about our own beliefs, emotions, and attitudes. Luke lets us know how importantly it’s about our desires—what they are, how we got them, and where they’re taking us.

    Ultimately, this is a book about inner metamorphosis, a sort of spiritual alchemy in transforming the desire engines of our lives into a more positive configuration and direction. It’s a book of great power and has been desperately needed in our time. Luke: What took you so long? Just kidding. No masterpiece happens quickly, and that’s as true of this book as it is of our best lived lives.

    I’ve been writing books of practical philosophy for about thirty years, and as I seek to be of help to people, I also try to read all the best current books that promise us new wisdom, great insights, and positive transformation. Most fall far, far short of their hype. Some are simply cons, bereft of usefulness and actually both misleading and dangerous. A few are very good, and rarely, now and then, one is actually great. This book occupies the outer reaches of that last category and is truly exceptional.

    Please do yourself and everyone around you a huge favor. Get this book and read it as soon as you can, and then read it again. It’s that good.

    Luke Burgis may have elevated himself with this book into the mantle of “The Most Interesting Man in the World.” I hope a Dos Equis Deal is in the works for him. But I'm equally sure he doesn't even want one, which is the real magic of transcendence to which he guides us in the end.
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    74 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on December 27, 2023
    Unlike many pop psychology/business books Wanting starts at first principles and provides a useful and thoughtful background to the core insight central to the book—the Girardian theory of mimesis. I particularly enjoyed the introductory discussion of how children learn through the process of watching and copying as compared to animals where it is more often innate instinct and behavior I found it very useful in providing a foundation for the theory. When explaining these ideas to others I have returned often to that example as the bedrock for my explanation. Afterall, if one assumes this copying as a method for learning continues past childhood it is easy to see how somebody like Girard could reach many of the conclusions he does—although I am not sure that is exactly how he came to these conclusions, still you get the point.

    Luke Burgis also adds onto Girards theory and importantly differentiates himself from Thiel in a number of ways. I found this important as Thiel, who I greatly admire, is the most famous proponent of mimetic theory today and often the first source for which people encounter mimetic theory. People tend to interpret Thiels version of mimetic theory as "The Mimetic Theory". Burgis makes his own interpretation clear and provides an alternative view in a clean layout with interesting anecdotes. I will add that I found the categorization of thick and thin desires less useful than others may have but recognize they are a practical way of recognizing mimetic theory and implementing it within your own life.

    Overall it's a fun, quick read and an excellent introduction to a difficult philosophical idea which Burgis is clearly intimately familiar with.

    5/5
    5 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 28, 2023
    I am very happy to have read this book. It has an amazing insight into what drives us to behave/want/do things that we do. It's a force of mimesis, seeking of models, of someone or something to copy and strive to be. Once you learn about it, you realize how much it has impacted your life, and how much it is all around us.

    It's a dangerous force where if left unrecognized, it can lead to personal and societal hardships.

    I would give this book five stars but it felt like some conclusions reached were a bit far fetched, or at least not tied up well together to make sense. It almost feels like it was rushed to get finished, or perhaps that's the result of the editorial process?

    Either way, I would recommend it to anyone to pick it up and explore what this book says.
    6 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Eugenia Correa
    5.0 out of 5 stars wow
    Reviewed in Mexico on March 23, 2024
    Must read.the journey to the depths of desire in capitalism is profound and the crisis of imagination is palpable. We need new paradigms this book shows.
  • Patricia
    5.0 out of 5 stars Precious!
    Reviewed in Brazil on January 7, 2023
    Shows us what really matters in life (and why) and the real human nature with its nasty tendencies (and how to overcome them). Eye-opening, priceless, a must read!
  • Ned Nadima
    5.0 out of 5 stars This book should be on everybody's shelf
    Reviewed in Canada on August 25, 2021
    Know Thyself was true then, it's even truer now. Understanding mimetic desire is key to understand oneself and understanding society as a whole. The book is a page turner, I read it in 3 days and will likely read it again before the end of the year. Just like his Substack, Luke's writing style is practical, yet insightful, full of examples from the past and today's events to help us understand. The chapter of Scapegoat is a weird eye opener...that's all I'll say about that.

    I absolutely recommend the book, you will love it and offer plenty of copies as Christmas gifts, like I am planning to do (mimetic desire anyone? :) )
  • Silvi Simberg
    5.0 out of 5 stars A shift in comprehending reality
    Reviewed in Germany on December 28, 2023
    Luke Burgis' book (and further reading recommendations through other channels) have set me down on a rare path to understanding the functioning of man and human kind, society, social dynamics - what Luke writes is instinctually sound and familiar, and helps clarify the picture.

    Mimetic desire is a beneficial concept to learn for various reasons, and starting with Luke's book gives a nice soft landing into the topic.

    The book is written well and stays to the point, no useless bloat to get the page count up - which is rare these days, when it comes to those kinds of topics.

    Thanks for writing it, I'm sure there are many among us who are waiting for more :)
  • Interesting
    4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting
    Reviewed in Italy on August 6, 2023
    Thanks to this book I meditated on what I desire and why I desire something.
    I recommend it to who is interested in knowing themselves and to think about their wishes.