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Mind The Gap Paperback – June 14, 2022

by Dr. Karen Gurney (Author)
4.7 out of 5 stars 445 ratings
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'This book taught me so much about female desire. A must read!' Cherry Healey

Did you know that there is an orgasm gap of around 30% between heterosexual couples when they have sex?

In Mind The Gap, Dr Karen Gurney, a clinical psychologist and certified psychosexologist, explores not just this gap, but the gaps in our knowledge of so much of the most important new science around sex and desire.

In this book, you will learn that nearly everything that you've been led to believe about female sexuality isn't actually true. And that, despite what you might think, it is possible to simultaneously feel little to no spontaneous desire and have a happy and mutually satisfying sex life long term.

Exploring the mismatch between ideas about sex in our society and what the science tells us, Mind The Gap also explains how this disconnect lies at the root of many of our sexual problems.

Combining science with case studies, practical exercises and tips, this is a book for anyone who wants to better understand the mechanics of desire and futureproof their sex life, for life.

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  1. Print length
    336 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Headline
  4. Publication date
    June 14, 2022
  5. Dimensions
    6.13 x 1 x 9.25 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1472267133
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1472267139
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Editorial Reviews

Review

This book taught me so much about female desire. A must read!―Cherry Healey

Reveals how you can supercharge desire in a long relationship―Daily Mail

Mind The Gap by Dr Karen Gurney reveals the essential factors that drive women's desire and explains how you can harness them to achieve brilliant, satisfying sex long into old age.―Red

Lots of nuggets.―Evening Standard

Nothing stays the same as we age, and that includes our sex lives. But how we approach intimate moments can mean the difference between satisfaction and disappointment. That's the premise behind Harley Street psychologist Dr Karen Gurney's debut book Mind the Gap.―Sheer Luxe

[one of] the best books of 2020 to shop now...―Glamour Magazine

Mind the Gap sets out to dispel some long-held sexual myths.―Vogue

Drawing upon her clinical experience, certified psychosexologist Dr Karen Gurney lays bare the history of sex, its role in society, bedroom inequality and libido - alongside actionable advice on how to have the kind, and frequency, of sex you want.―Women's Health

I thoroughly recommend Dr Karen Gurney's book Mind The Gap if you'd like to explore more about how sexual desire isn't something we should expect to be constantly present so long as we 'love' or 'fancy' someone, but is actually dependent upon all sorts of additional contextual factors, and how understanding all these - and to some extent, planning around them - can aid us in fostering greater desire if we wish to.―Alix Fox, Grazia

For couples wanting practical help―Recommended by Kate Moyle, GQ Magazine

About the Author

Dr Karen Gurney is a highly specialised clinical psychologist and certified psychosexologist , and is a recognised national expert in the theory and practice of therapy around all aspects of sexual wellbeing and function. She is currently Lead Psychosexual Therapist at 56 Dean Street (Chelsea and Westminster Hospital NHS Foundation Trust), as well as Director of The Havelock Clinic, an independent sexual problems service based on Harley Street and in The City of London. Dr Gurney has written for and been featured in publications such as Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan and Refinery29. She appeared on BBC2's Victoria Derbyshire Show and is the expert attached to Cherry Healey, Lisa Williams and Anniki Sommerville's podcast, The Hotbed Collective (@thehotbedcollective), regularly appearing in their live shows and podcasts. She is also the UK ambassador for www.thepornconversation.org - a not-for-profit initiative set up by Erika Lust designed to help parents and carers talk to young people about porn use. Dr Gurney is on Instagram as @thesexdoctor.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Headline (June 14, 2022)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 336 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1472267133
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1472267139
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.13 x 1 x 9.25 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 out of 5 stars 445 ratings

About the author

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Dr Karen Gurney

Dr Karen Gurney

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Dr Karen Gurney is a consultant clinical psychologist and certified psychosexologist, and is a recognised national expert in the theory and practice of therapy around all aspects of sexual wellbeing and function. She is currently Head of Wellbeing Services at the award winning sexual health clinic 56 Dean Street (Chelsea and Westminster Hospital NHS Foundation Trust), as well as Director of The Havelock Clinic, an independent sexual problems service based in London. Dr Gurney regularly writes and is featured in publications such as Vogue and Marie Claire as well as appearing on podcasts, radio and TV. Dr Gurney has given two TED talks, the latter of which has had over 1.6 million views. Dr Gurney is on Instagram as @thesexdoctor. Mind The Gap is her first book.

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
445 global ratings

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Top reviews from the United States

  • Sasha Froyland
    5.0 out of 5 stars Understanding her then yourself
    Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    Written for a women but a man can learn how to please her
    One person found this helpful
    Helpful
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  • Westy72
    5.0 out of 5 stars Simply a must read
    Reviewed in the United States on April 7, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    The single best book I’ve listened too all year. Stop what you’re doing it. Buy this.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Rick PDX
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Read for Men too!
    Reviewed in the United States on May 13, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    A friend told me about this book and even though written with the intention of women in mind, it's an incredibly insightful read for men too, whether straight or gay! Make this a must read for all genders and sexualities! Highly, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!
    7 people found this helpful
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  • October Hello
    5.0 out of 5 stars Read this book!
    Reviewed in the United States on June 14, 2021
    Verified Purchase
    I absolutely love this book. It has totally changed my view on sex in long term relationships. Everyone should read this book. Thank you for your work Karen….it’s changing lives.
    6 people found this helpful
    Helpful
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  • My Girl Connection
    5.0 out of 5 stars Love this book!
    Reviewed in the United States on December 4, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    This book is incredible. Hands down everyone should read this for couples and people individuals.
    One person found this helpful
    Helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Lydia
    5.0 out of 5 stars A must read
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 28, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    This book by Dr Gurney is an absolute must read for anyone looking to unlearn the unhelpful ideas and myths we are taught in our sex education and by society. Whilst this book focuses on the topic of desire, many many more topics are intertwined into this, which can benefit everyone on so many levels. It is well written, and easy to read, broken down into several parts and chapters, with reiteration of key points to help you learn without feeling as though you really have to try to memorise every detail. The exercises at the end of the chapter enable simple and practical implementation of many of the key topics discussed in the book, within your own life. You also do not need to be in a relationship, or have any issues with desire to read this book, as it functions as a very useful guide for your life long sexual journey.
    Report
  • Silke Scheithauer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing
    Reviewed in Germany on November 7, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    Love the way the author describes everything. Good writing, enhancing.
    Report
  • Rehana Shivji
    5.0 out of 5 stars A must read!
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 11, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    There's a lot of misinformation and myths surrounding the issue of sex, particularly for women, but in this fantastic book, Dr. Karen Gurney creates an accessible, inclusive, well-evidenced (and even at times humorous!) resource for women and their partners.

    She expertly weaves together her experiences from her clinical psychologist therapy room, with evidence from academic papers, addressing and deconstructing social scripts as well as giving the reader tangible exercises to begin putting this new-found knowledge into practice.

    If you're in a long term relationship, this book, without a doubt, is a must-read resource. Even if you're not currently in a relationship, the book guides you to reflect on previous relationships and how you might approach your next one with the confidence to ensure you and your partner have a future-proofed sex life! Can't recommend highly enough.
    Report
  • Amazon Kunde
    5.0 out of 5 stars super helpful, interesting and practical book
    Reviewed in Germany on July 10, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    Dr. Gurney helps us understand the nature of desire and offers valuable insight into the imbalances in our intimate lives between men and women.
    The book is well structured and takes you on a journey with practical exercise concluding each chapter.
    A book the world has been waiting for and definitely a revolutionary one.
    Report
  • Will
    4.0 out of 5 stars Enlightening and interesting exploration of sex and relationships aimed at empowering women
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 8, 2020
    Verified Purchase
    I liked this book! As someone who has been mystified by some of the rituals surrounding sex, especially with some of the women I have had intimate relationships this helped me get a grasp of some of the misconceptions that "society and the media" have use believe and what is reality for many of us. I do like the focus on empowering women, especially to be more assertive in some situations.

    Things I liked:
    1) Discussion of sexual currency
    2) Exploration of sex and not just being "traditional" PIV sex
    3) Reviewing and understanding the conditions for sex and how this is complex and different for everyone
    4) The example scenarios
    5) The sum up questions at the end of the chapters

    I will read these points again :)

    I'm going to make a few points and you can take them or leave them as you wish.

    1) The author mentions the orgasm gap, i.e. that men have more orgasms than women and this is important, but also states that frequency of sex is not important. Also I would like to point out that many women have the capability to have more intense and multiple orgasms that men will never experience. This presents another "orgasm gap" in society. I just wanted to get this perspective across.

    2) From what I understand sometimes women do not want to achieve orgasm or perhaps state they have experienced it, because it gives their partner a perceived ego boost. I'm sure this is not just limited to male partners. This to me presents another dynamic and I would liked to have seen vulnerabilities and insecurities regarding this issue discussed.
    Report