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Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 2,544 ratings

End Pain.
Foster Personal and Professional Growth.
Live Better.

While endings are a natural part of business and life, we often experience them with a sense of hesitation, sadness, resignation, or regret. But consultant, psychologist, and best-selling author Dr. Henry Cloud sees endings differently. He argues that our personal and professional lives can only improve to the degree that we can see endings as a necessary and strategic step to something better. If we cannot see endings in a positive light and execute them well, he asserts, the "better" will never come, either in business growth or our personal lives.

In this insightful and deeply empathetic book, Dr. Cloud demonstrates that, when executed well, "necessary endings" allow us to proactively correct the bad and the broken in our lives in order to make room for the professional and personal growth we seek. However, when endings are avoided or handled poorly - as is too often the case - good opportunities may be lost, and misery repeated.

Drawing on years of experience as an executive coach and a psychologist, Dr. Cloud offers a mixture of advice and case studies to help listeners:

  • Know when to have realistic hope and when to execute a necessary ending in a business or with an individual
  • Identify which employees, projects, activities, and relationships are worth nurturing and which are not
  • Overcome people's resistance to change and create change that works
  • Create urgency and an action plan for what's important
  • Stop wasting resources needed for the things that really matter

Knowing when and how to let go when something, or someone, isn't working - a personal relationship, a job, or a business venture - is essential for happiness and success. Necessary Endings gives listeners the tools they need to say good-bye and move on.

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Product details

Listening Length 7 hours and 15 minutes
Author Henry Cloud
Narrator Henry Cloud
Whispersync for Voice Ready
Audible.com Release Date January 18, 2011
Publisher HarperAudio
Program Type Audiobook
Version Unabridged
Language English
ASIN B004JLU0ZQ
Best Sellers Rank #1,322 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals)
#71 in Personal Finance (Books)
#83 in Career Success
#189 in Personal Development

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
2,544 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book provides useful insights and information about endings. They describe it as well-written, concise, and worth reading. Readers appreciate the perspective on when to let go and move on. The book works well for them, allowing them to move on to better situations. However, opinions differ on the endings aspect, with some finding them positive and helpful, while others feel the content is repetitive.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

286 customers mention "Insight"279 positive7 negative

Customers find the book provides useful insights and information that can be applied in everyday life. They say it enlightens them about endings and opens their eyes to a new world. The book is described as interesting and actionable, with God-inspired wisdom.

"...Cloud gives you great tips on how to spot a "fool," a "wise man" and the evil people among us; as well as tips on how to deal with them. *..." Read more

"...The points in this book can help with the grieving process, acceptance, and moving on." Read more

"...It looks at how life, business, church, relationships and organizations all have a life cycle. We all know this...." Read more

"...I underlined a lot of pages in this book. It's filled with gems...I mean, it's a bouquet of roses that will brighten your day and lengthen your..." Read more

286 customers mention "Readability"282 positive4 negative

Customers appreciate the book's readability. They find it well-written and worth reading. The book provides practical advice and is easy to understand. It gives readers clarity on how to approach different situations.

"...Excellent read...I bought 2-copies (one for my library...and one for my working copy). Peace." Read more

"...I literally wept with relief when I read his VERY SIMPLE and extremely practical and FOOLPROOF method for dealing with "fools." It so works...." Read more

"...but this one is definitely a higher percentage and is worth the time to read and consider...." Read more

"...As a leader, this is a book worth picking up...." Read more

12 customers mention "Value for money"10 positive2 negative

Customers find the book offers good value for money. They mention it's a good buy, with Chapter 7 being priceless.

"...for no other reason than to learn how to shut down a fool, it's well worth the price!! * * * Quotes I LOVED: "..." Read more

"...Chapter 7 alone is worth the price of the book by itself...." Read more

"...Worth every penny dont procrastinate, just buy it, you wont regret it for a minute...." Read more

"...must to take place in your life mentally, physically, emotionally, financially and spiritually!! Get it, apply and release!! Enjoy a new beginning!!" Read more

9 customers mention "Pacing"9 positive0 negative

Customers find the book's pacing good. They appreciate its perspective on when and how to let go. The author provides clear communication and helps individuals move on to better fits. The book also mentions there are natural seasons in life and that endings are part of them.

"...in this book can help with the grieving process, acceptance, and moving on." Read more

"...He also writes about the natural Seasons of Life and how change (and necessary endings) are part of the greater purpose of life; and why it is..." Read more

"Hard book to digest. Excellent perspective on when to let go and move on. Great thoughts and ideas on how to let go and move on...." Read more

"...Also talks about seasons and how to determine when is the best time to create an ending to move on to what is better for you, the other person, or..." Read more

8 customers mention "Works well"8 positive0 negative

Customers find the book useful and appreciate Henry Cloud's work. They say it explains pruning and how it works for new life.

"...It so works. It so works!! Just so you know, Cloud considers a fool someone who refuses to accept or look at feedback...." Read more

"...Dr. Cloud does a wonderful job of describing what should be an expected and natural part of progression in pruning our businesses and/or lives so..." Read more

"...Cloud provided an excellent road map of pruning and how it works for the good of new life...." Read more

"...It otherwise seems to be ok and I look forward to reading it, but I am disappointed in the condition of a brand new book!" Read more

49 customers mention "Endings"34 positive15 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the book's approach to endings. Some appreciate the positive tone and focus on both professional and relationship endings. They find it helpful for developing strategies for dealing with these situations. However, others feel the content is repetitive and the storytelling lacks depth.

"...end some things and he provides meaningful metrics and thought regarding certain endings...." Read more

"...Book discusses how to get past fear and stubbornness into having to make necessary decisions, even the most painful ones...." Read more

"...Too many sample stories and repetition of the same concepts takes away from an otherwise insightful concept of "pruning" out of your life the..." Read more

"...It definitely helped me in my struggle to break of an engagement...." Read more

Must read book about endings
5 out of 5 stars
Must read book about endings
Cloud, H. (2010). Necessary endings: The employees, businesses, and relationships that all of us have to give up in order to move forward. HarperBusiness.Dr. Henry Cloud spent much of his career paying attention to to leadership performance and development, blending the disciplines of leadership and human functioning to helping CEO’s, teams, and organizations. Dr. Cloud holds a BS in psychology from Southern Methodist University, a PhD in clinical psychology from Biola University, and did a clinical internship at Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health.He acknowledges that endings are a part of organizations and life. Yet, people resist ending things experiencing sadness, hesitation, procrastination, and regret at the need to make a decision. While endings are necessary, they are often delayed or avoided. I'm one of those people who dislike saying goodbye, stay at a party far longer than I want, and stay in situations far past my longing to stay. He provides a number of explanations for why we avoid ending creating a rich space within which to reflectively consider endings and one's orientation towards them. Some quotes:"Learning how to do an ending well and how to metabolize the experience allows us to move beyond patterns of behavior that may have tripped us up in the past. We do not have to keep repeating the same patterns. ""If you see an ending as meaning "something is wrong if this has to happen," you will resist them or fight them long past when they should be fought. Endings have to be perceived as a normal part of work and life. "Cloud uses the metaphor of pruning to illustrate why endings are sometimes necessary. Not all is meant to survive or to be prolonged but instead a good pruning creates an opportunity for newness to be facilitated. This is a super book for people needing to change or end something, organizational leaders, and organizational change consultants.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on October 30, 2024
    As a Church Pastor, I believe this book should be included in the curriculum of every bona-fide Seminary in America. Often times contemplating the "ending" of certain things engenders heaviness, sadness and the like. Dr. Cloud presents the reality of why it's healthy to end some things and he provides meaningful metrics and thought regarding certain endings. Excellent read...I bought 2-copies (one for my library...and one for my working copy). Peace.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on April 17, 2011
    I used to think "Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life," was Cloud's best book. I just changed my mind. This is possibly the most powerful book I've read in the last three years. If you are co-dependent, a recovering co-dependent or anyone who grew up or is in dysfunctional relationships, you will truly appreciate this book. If you are a boss, manager, CEO, supervisor or anyone who works with people you will LOVE this book. Even the healthiest person runs into dysfunctional people wherever they go. Cloud gives you great tips on how to spot a "fool," a "wise man" and the evil people among us; as well as tips on how to deal with them.

    * * *
    Looking back at the time I left an alcoholic partner "for MY OWN GOOD," I can see some seed of sanity and an understanding that some endings were necessary. This book simply validates what I've suspected all along - better to cut your losses as soon as you see they're losses - and run. It's more than that of course, but the theme is the same. Endings are beginnings in disguise.

    * * *

    I literally wept with relief when I read his VERY SIMPLE and extremely practical and FOOLPROOF method for dealing with "fools." It so works. It so works!! Just so you know, Cloud considers a fool someone who refuses to accept or look at feedback. Being a fool has NOTHING to do with intelligence, skills or capabilities and everything to do with not being able to accept reality. Some of the smartest men and women on the planet are "fools" and some of the least intelligent are wise. It all has to do with whether you can listen and accept feedback (not critical shaming criticism - but real FEEDBACK). If you buy this book for no other reason than to learn how to shut down a fool, it's well worth the price!!

    * * *

    Quotes I LOVED:

    "Successful leaders ALL have one thing in common: They get in touch with reality. If you comb the leadership literature, one theme runs throughout everyone's descriptions of the best leaders. The great ones have either a natural ability, or an acquired one, to 'confront the brutal facts... especially when it comes to seeing a necessary ending.'"

    "The mature person meets the demands of life, while the immature person demands that life meet her demands."

    "You cannot deal with everyone the same way. There are evil people, fools and wise people. When truth presents itself, the wise person sees the light, takes it in and makes adjustments. The fool tries to adjust the truth so he doesn't have to adjust to it. Evil people are not reasonable and truth means nothing to them. They simply want to hurt you and do destructive things. Don't have anything to do with them. NOTHING. Protect yourself in the manner of the Warren Zevon song, with "Lawyers, Guns and Money." (Attorneys, Police and Resources to keep them away from you.)

    Cloud talks about the "hoarder mentality." If you thought hoarders only stockpiled crap in their homes - just wait. Cloud exposes the "business hoarder" and explains, "The hoarder mentality thrives not only in garages, but in business and people's lives as well." Hoarders, in one way or another Cloud says, "Always say I might need that." CEOs and business owners cling to people, resources, businesses in the same way - saying "If things turn around we might need that division next year."

    My other favorite sections were:

    Internal Maps that Keep You From Succeeding.
    Cloud sets out the five most common "maps" or thought patterns that keep us from necessary endings:
    (1) Having an abnormally high pain threshold. Common apparently for those of us with lousy childhoods who learned to endure horrific emotional, physical or mental pain. We're so used to numbing ourselves we don't recognize when something really is abnormal pain. He shows us how/why we do this and how to change it. Pain ended!!
    (2) Covering for Others. Growing up in an alcoholic home I learned to assume responsibility for everything. If someone got sick, fell down the stairs, got into a fight, spent all their money it was up to me to "make it work" or "fix it." That's a WRONG map/thought pattern that kept me co-dependent all my life. I'm now 55 and know I'm only responsible for myself and not for the adults, addicts, fools and losers around me.
    (3 Believing that Quitting means you Failed. I think anyone who has been abused, bullied or belittled has this map. Whoever said, "Winners never quit and quitters never win," wasn't thinking about when quitting is sometimes a good thing, a necessary thing.
    (4) Misplaced Loyalty - how being "loyal" to someone to the extent we hurt ourselves is misplaced loyalty and not good for us or the person we think we're being loyal to.
    (5) Codependency Mapping - Need I really say more? Cloud nails this too - pointing out how our co-dependency keeps us feeling responsible for the other person's pain when we stop enabling them. He says:

    "There is a difference between helping someone who is disabled, incapable, or otherwise infirm versus helping someone who is resisting growing up and taking care of what every adult (or child for that matter) has to be responsible for: herself or himself. When you find yourself in any way paying for someone else's responsibilities, not only are you stuck with a delayed ending, but you are probably harming that person.

    I could go on for pages. All I can say is that this book is life changing. BUY IT!! And buy a copy to give a friend because you're going to want to after you read it.
    363 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on October 23, 2024
    I've read several of Dr. Cloud's books and there's something in each of them that has been useful to me... this one in particular has a LOT of really good points. I've read hundreds of books in my lifetime and there has never been one that I agree 100% with, but this one is definitely a higher percentage and is worth the time to read and consider. Many people have some level of difficulty with letting go, but it's a part of life and happens all the time. The points in this book can help with the grieving process, acceptance, and moving on.
    3 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on September 3, 2013
    As the title indicates, the book is about how to know when things have run their course. It looks at how life, business, church, relationships and organizations all have a life cycle. We all know this. We aren't friends with everyone forever, we don't have ministries that run forever (although it might feel that way at some churches), we don't have products that last forever. Things end. People move on. Sometimes that ending is hurtful and sometimes productive. But they happen.

    What Cloud does and it is something every leader needs to learn is how to know when that ending is happening (before it's too late) and how to end it and move on in a healthy way.

    For the longest time I've been terrible at this. I hold onto relationships too long. I let people who hurt me stay in my head for years. While I've grown in this area, I'm nowhere close to where I need to be, which is why I found this book so helpful.

    Here are a few things I highlighted:

    -For there to be anything new, old things always have to end, and we have to let go of them.
    -Getting to the next level always requires ending something, leaving it behind, and moving on. Growth itself demands that we move on. Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.
    -In many contexts, until we let go of what is not good, we will never find something that is good. The lesson: good cannot begin until bad ends.
    -Often, there are no good business reasons for waiting to do something that should be done now.
    -In the simple word pruning is the central theme of what a necessary ending is all about: Removing whatever it is in our business or life whose reach is unwanted or superfluous.
    the question is more about this: are you only achieving average results in relation to where you or your business or team is supposed to be? In other words, given your abilities, resources, opportunities, etc., are you reaching your full potential, or are you drifting toward a middle that is lower than where you should be if you were getting the most from who you are and what you have?
    -Make the endings a normal occurrence and a normal part of business and life, instead of seeing it as a problem.
    -One of the most important aspects to any high performance is the ability to separate one's personhood from any particular result.
    the great leaders make "life and death decisions," which, as he pointed out, were usually about people. Those are the decisions that cause big directional changes in businesses, where the life or death of the vision depends on someone stepping up and acting.
    -What is not working is not going to magically begin working
    -If you comb the leadership literature, one theme runs throughout everyone's descriptions of the best leaders. The great ones have either a natural ability, or an acquired one, as Collins says, to "confront the brutal facts."
    -In the absence of real, objective reasons to think that more time is going to help, it is probably time for some type of necessary ending.
    -When truth presents itself, the wise person sees the light, takes it in, and makes adjustments.
    -People resist change that they feel no real need to make.
    -In my experience with businesses and individuals, not paying attention to sustainability is one of the most common reasons that they get into trouble, sometimes unrecoverable trouble.

    As a leader, this is a book worth picking up. I think for many pastors, knowing when to end a ministry, a relationship or how to handle a leader who is not performing, this book can be extremely helpful.
    17 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Guitarcat
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Advice
    Reviewed in Canada on August 22, 2022
    Step by step look at life's decisions and how to end things when necessary. Recommended reading and great resource for future use
  • Tavishi
    5.0 out of 5 stars Informative
    Reviewed in India on January 19, 2024
    Good informative
  • Michael Hunter
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book, well written and thoughtful discussion of the subject
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 27, 2021
    I like Dr Cloud's writing, this book is up to his usual excellent standard. Accessible, and easy to read. Thought provoking and challenging. Highly recommended.
  • Katy
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great tips and well written
    Reviewed in Australia on March 2, 2020
    I wish I’d read this book a few years earlier. While focused mainly on business it’s also useful for relationships. A very easy read that has very helpful methods for communicating.
  • Barbier Fabrice
    5.0 out of 5 stars Necessary Endings
    Reviewed in France on November 19, 2016
    Excellent livre qui vous permet de faire les changements nécessaire dans votre vie. Il établit le base que pour commencer quelque chose de nouveau il faut terminer autre chose. En faisant il faut lâcher prise du mauvais et retenir le bon.