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I Finally Bought Some Jordans: Essays Kindle Edition

4.9 4.9 out of 5 stars 11 ratings

"Very good writers have an ability to make you understand what they're feeling. But the very best writers have an ability to make you understand what you're feeling. And that's where Michael Arceneaux sits, and that's what he does in this new book. It's like he's crawling around inside your head opening file cabinets and telling you what the gibberish you've scribbled on each page in each file means. What a great, fun read."—Shea Serrano, #1 New York Times bestselling author

New York Times bestselling author Michael Arceneaux returns with a hilarious collection of essays about making your voice heard in an increasingly noisy and chaotic world.

In his books I Can't Date Jesus and I Don't Want to Die Poor, Michael Arceneaux established himself as one of the most beloved and entertaining writers of his generation, touching upon such hot-button topics as race, class, sexuality, labor, debt, and, of course, paying homage to the power and wisdom of Beyoncé. In this collection, Arceneaux takes stock of how far he has traveled—and how much ground he still has to cover in this patriarchal, heteronormative society. He explores the opportunities afforded to Black creatives but also the doors that remain shut or ever-so-slightly ajar; the confounding challenges of dating in a time when social media has made everything both more accessible and more unreliable; and the allure of returning home while still pushing yourself to seek opportunity elsewhere.

I Finally Bought Some Jordans is both a corrective to, and a balm for, these troubling times, revealing a sharply funny and keen-eyed storyteller working at the height of his craft.

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Pop-culture savant Michael Arceneaux’s essays on navigating 'geriatric millennial' anxiety were so hilariously relatable, I feverishly tore through the book in one sitting. From pandemic dating ('Now wasn’t the time to breathe around strangers') to framing Beyoncé as his 'Lord and Gyrator' as he navigates the modern-life disasters like climate change and student loan debt—Arceneaux’s sharply-observed takes are both devastating and utterly delightful." — Tia Williams, author of Seven Days in June and A Love Song for Ricki Wilde

"Very good writers have an ability to make you understand what they're feeling. But the very best writers have an ability to make you understand what you're feeling. And that's where Michael Arceneaux sits, and that's what he does in this new book. It's like he's crawling around inside your head opening file cabinets and telling you what the gibberish you've scribbled on each page in each file means. What a great, fun read." — Shea Serrano, #1 New York Times bestselling author

"Arceneaux’s acerbic wit sizzles (to those who questioned why he relocated to wildfire-prone L.A., he responds, 'At least I have a lovely view of a burning world'), and he balances the humor with heartfelt reflection. This packs a punch." — Publishers Weekly (starred review)

"His keenest and best yet, informed by the clarity of priorities that comes with making art in our era of public health disaster and racial reckoning. Arceneaux is a hilarious and brilliant analyst of culture, for whom the pandemic blurred the boundaries between personal emotional experience and entertainment. . . . [His] writing is a kind friend on the phone and his seek-and-ye-shall-find approach to pleasure and contentment is alive and contagious." — Booklist (starred review)

"Arceneaux’s latest essays are still as pointed and funny as those from his earlier books. At the same time, they also reflect the angst of a young generation forced to navigate the unprecedented new realities of a changing planet. A mordantly irreverent essay collection." — Kirkus Reviews

"Hilarious . . . I Finally Bought Some Jordans is both a corrective to, and a balm for, these troubling times, revealing a sharply funny and keen-eyed storyteller working at the height of his craft." — Write or Die

"Arceneaux’s essays have become an essential means of understanding the nature of American anxiety and hope." — Time

"Like his god, Beyoncé, Michael has a ‘Negro, Creole, and Texas Bama’ alchemy that will leave you weak with recognition, regret, and joy." — Melissa Harris-Perry

"A rebel with hot sauce in his bag." — Lena Waithe

"Arceneaux’s confident voice and unapologetic sense of humor will appeal to fans of Roxane Gay." — Publishers Weekly

"Arceneaux’s voice is insightful, witty and bold, giving us a much-needed personal narrative that challenges society to do better, as he reflects on the lessons he has learned." — The Grio

"Hysterically funny." — Vogue

"Hilarious." — Essence

"Arceneaux’s acerbic humor is reminiscent of the very best work of American humorist and author David Sedaris." — The Advocate

"Witty and wise." — Soledad O'Brien

"Heartbreaking, hilarious, unapologetic and smart." — NPR

About the Author

Michael Arceneaux is a Houston-bred, Howard University-educated writer living in Harlem. Covering issues related to culture, sexuality, religion, race, and Beyoncé, he has written for Complex, Essence, the London Guardian, New York magazine, New York Times, The Root, and many other publications. Additionally, he has lent his commentary to such outlets as MSNBC, NPR, SiriusXM, VH1, and Viceland.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0B941N6G5
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ HarperOne (March 12, 2024)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ March 12, 2024
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 3987 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 238 pages
  • Page numbers source ISBN ‏ : ‎ 0063140411
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.9 4.9 out of 5 stars 11 ratings

About the author

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Michael Arceneaux
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Michael Arceneaux is the New York Times bestselling author of "I Can’t Date Jesus: Love, Sex, Family, Race, and Other Reasons I’ve Put My Faith in Beyoncé." He has written for The New York Times, The Washington Post, Essence, Esquire, Ebony, Elle, Rolling Stone, and many other publications on and off Al Gore’s internet. He’s ran his mouth on MSNBC, NPR, VH1, Viceland, Comedy Central, SiriusXM, and elsewhere. His second book is "I Don’t Want to Die Poor."

Customer reviews

4.9 out of 5 stars
4.9 out of 5
11 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on April 18, 2024
I laughed, I cried, I enjoyed! One of the first books I have read since beginning to read for leisure again and it was great ! I loved this book!
Reviewed in the United States on March 31, 2024
Michael Arceneaux is a legend in the making.
Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2024
Michael continues to outdo himself. Great body of work.
Reviewed in the United States on March 12, 2024
I Finally Bought Some Jordans is Michael Arceneaux's third essay collection (all of which have great titles). After tackling religion and sex in his first collection and challenges with money and crippling debt in his second, his newest collection continues to mix both humor and heavy issues. The title essay is about how far he has come in his life- is his debt completely paid off? No, but he is getting there and he can treat himself now! He discusses the perils of writing about celebrities in the past and then meeting them in person (blocked by Toni Braxton?!?). Many of the essays cover his time during the early days of COVID. He is living in New York and all the positive aspects of the city are not available when he is stuck isolating in his small apartment. He plans to move to LA, but first has a long stopover of his home city of Houston and spending time with his family. He compares the different reactions to the pandemic in Houston versus in New York. He is also quite introspective about his relationships with family members (father- challenging, mother- close) and what he wants for himself in the future as he approaches 40 (goal of being a happy Black man). His writing about his mother was particularly moving knowing that since he wrote this collection she has passed away.

Arcenaux continues to write fantastic essay collections that blend together serious topics with his lovely sense of humor and I will continue to recommend his work to others.

Thank you to HarperOne for the advance reader copy.
Reviewed in the United States on April 3, 2024
Michael is one of the most effortlessly talented writers of our generation: smart, funny, insightful, heartfelt. I was deeply moved by his prose, his insight, his vulnerability, his humor... I feel like I'm a better person after reading this book. Don't hesitate to jump on enjoying "I Finally Bought Myself Some Jordans". This is my favorite Michael Arceneaux book and I can't wait to gobble up his future work. He ate down with this one and articulated everything I feel but struggle to find the words to express. Get yourself a copy of "I Finally Bought Some Jordans" and thank yourself later.
Reviewed in the United States on March 13, 2024
I am a self-admitted book worm, and I have been the majority of my life. Here lately, I gravitate towards suspenseful books. One genre that I have also been gravitating towards when I need a break from the suspense is books that make me laugh. As I have read both “I Can’t Date Jesus” and “I Don’t Want to Die Poor,” I know that Michael Arceneaux is one of those unique voices that can make you laugh, but also make you think. Because of this, I was very excited to read this book.

Just like “I Don’t Want to Die Poor,” I really connected with this book of essays. It not only touched on complicated relationships with family members, the feelings of grief associated with so much loss within the past few years, and not wanting family members to know the full scope of financial issues. I identified with most of the essays in the book, and I like that, no matter how dark the issue is, there were still points where I was able to laugh.

I have been following Michael online for quite a while, and, even though I’ve never met him, I’ve always felt like we could be friends. This book (and the previous books) has just reinforced this feeling. The way Michael writes makes me feel like I am in his inner circle, which also helps with the connection that I feel to the books. Also, the understanding I have gotten helps me feel like a better LGBTQ+ ally. I definitely recommend this book. (Note: I finally bought my first pair of Jordans for myself in 2019)
Reviewed in the United States on April 27, 2024
A wonderful read. Finished it quickly, but left a standing impact on me. Love Michael’s writing.
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