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Daniel B. Wile
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After the Honeymoon: How Conflict Can Improve Your Relationship, Revised Edition Kindle Edition

by Daniel Wile (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 68 ratings
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Most couples get stuck in negative cycles and would give anything to find a way out. Dan describes how partners' negative thinking and uncontrolled emotion can be transformed into a state of couple relationship wisdom. He shows how the very act of talking about problems in the relationship can provide the intimacy for which partners are longing.
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  1. Print length
    245 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  4. Publication date
    October 31, 2012
  5. File size
    708 KB
  6. Page Flip
    Enabled
  7. Word Wise
    Enabled
  8. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
  9. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Twenty years as a practicing psychologist has shown the author the bonanza of difficulties that can beset couplesfrom the nitpicking annoyances to divorce-sized concernsand many readers will recognize certain elements of discord discussed here. By illustrating, with examples, how small behavioral details can mask major issues between partners, and by creating mock conversations between couples, Wile pinpoints the habits and thought patterns he believes frequently threaten relationships. His ideas are not new and his main message is familiar: at the bottom of most troubles lies a lack of communication. He maintains that partners fall into accusatory modes of thinking that block attempts at harmony, and he suggests some insightful strategies for "blending" problems into a relationship. What most invigorates this book, though, is Wile's firm grasp and display of sensitive psychological points between partnersthe fear of abandonment and of being taken for granted, the resentment of domination, dependency and boredomthat, in fact, are the roots of many conflicts. Those willing to wade through the recurrent pattern of theory and example that guides Wile's writing will find a commonsensical approach to relationships and a healthy pep talk that may get them started toward better times. Wile wrote Couples Therapy.
Copyright 1988 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B009ZYHVJ0
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Collaborative Couple Therapy Books; 2nd edition (October 31, 2012)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ October 31, 2012
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 708 KB
  • Simultaneous device usage ‏ : ‎ Unlimited
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 245 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 68 ratings

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Daniel B. Wile

Daniel B. Wile

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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
68 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Kalena
5.0 out of 5 stars Better than therapy
Reviewed in the United States on March 17, 2012
Verified Purchase
This book will help almost any relationship! You will laugh and wonder if Dan Wile had a video camera in your home as you and your partner were fighting. This is NOT a "how-to" book. It is not about avoiding conflict and being nice/understanding, etc. It says we will have conflict and let's look at what we can learn from it. Let's get to the deeper issues underneath the fight.

If you are having trouble in your relationship, please read and re-read this book with or without your partner. It can save money and time in therapy as you realize everyone has the same issues.

I was fortunate to have the opportunity to study with Dan after reading the book. He has a unique perspective on relationships in his ability to take each side of the issue and help the other one to see it.

The writing is easy and often belies the depth of his insight. If you get one book on relationships, make it this one.
8 people found this helpful
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Taylor Ellwood
5.0 out of 5 stars How to use conflict to improve your relationships
Reviewed in the United States on August 10, 2012
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This is a must read book for anyone who is married or is in a serious relationships and wants to learn how to use conflict to improve your relationship. The skills in this books can also be applied to friendships, and business relationships. What I like about this book is that the author really explores the anatomy of conflicts, and how it shows up. He provides case studies and examples. Best of all, following the advice in the book works. You can turn conflict into a conversation that really gets to the heart of the issues being expressed in the conflict.
6 people found this helpful
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DP
4.0 out of 5 stars eye-opening
Reviewed in the United States on October 12, 2014
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A bit hard to get used to the format, but definitely full of gems. Will give you a great reference (because there is way too much good stuff to memorize) for dealing with and understanding the issues in relationships.
2 people found this helpful
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Lawrence Kistler
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book on communication in relationships
Reviewed in the United States on January 5, 2010
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I'm a licensed psychologist in practice for 30 years, and this is the best single book on identifying and expressing emotions in a relationship that I've ever seen. I routinely recommend it to clients; it contains a wealth of information. Wyle gives many examples of how to name feelings that lie below the surface, and how to share them with others in ways that are non-threatening and non-blaming. A fantastic book. More information at -- http://lawrencekistler.brandyourself.com.
9 people found this helpful
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Paul M. Bulger
5.0 out of 5 stars Best of the bunch
Reviewed in the United States on December 28, 2009
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I've read literally dozens of books on marital communications issues and this is by far the best. Wile does not cast the problem in moral or "should do" terms. He offers sample conversations which are startling: "Hey, I had a conversation that went bad exactly like that!" He explores the structure of the event, suggesting ways in which our personal histories get in the way of good communication. Each chapter ends with a restructured conversation which gets around those problems.
9 people found this helpful
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AMOlson
5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful when the relationship is struggling
Reviewed in the United States on November 5, 2016
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This book is already putting things in a different perspective for me. I think it's a great book for those who are experiencing relationship struggles.
2 people found this helpful
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TraumaTherapist
5.0 out of 5 stars The oppotunity hidden in fights
Reviewed in the United States on July 8, 2016
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I encourage couples I counsel to get this book. It helps them see their verbal battles as opportunities to begin to really talk.
2 people found this helpful
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Paul Williams
5.0 out of 5 stars Danial has a great technique. I wish he was on the East ...
Reviewed in the United States on May 24, 2016
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Danial has a great technique. I wish he was on the East Coast so I could get some training in his method.
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Melanie Still
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommended
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 30, 2019
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Thoroughly refreshing way of getting me to look at my relationships both past and present. Can't wait to read it again.
One person found this helpful
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óscar
5.0 out of 5 stars Esto tendrían que enseñarlo en la escuela
Reviewed in Spain on December 5, 2018
Verified Purchase
Un análisis de la conversación en el ámbito de la pareja que roza la genialidad.
Muy útil.
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Felicity
5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful & practical.
Reviewed in Australia on July 4, 2015
Verified Purchase
This book offers an insightful & practical approach to relationships. It explains the underlying thought processes & reasons for fighting. By far the best book I've read!
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