Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I've Loved
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Everything Happens for a Reason: And Other Lies I've Loved Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

Kate Bowler (Author, Narrator), Random House Audio (Publisher)
4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 6,127 ratings
Goodreads Choice Award nominee
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New York Times best seller

"A meditation on sense-making when there's no sense to be made, on letting go when we can't hold on, and on being unafraid even when we're terrified." (Lucy Kalanithi)

"Belongs on the shelf alongside other terrific books about this difficult subject, like Paul Kalanithi's When Breath Becomes Air and Atul Gawande's Being Mortal." (Bill Gates)

Named one of the best books of the year by Real Simple

Kate Bowler is a professor at Duke Divinity School with a modest Christian upbringing, but she specializes in the study of the prosperity gospel, a creed that sees fortune as a blessing from God and misfortune as a mark of God's disapproval. At 35, everything in her life seems to point toward "blessing". She is thriving in her job, married to her high school sweetheart, and loves life with her newborn son.

Then she is diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer.

The prospect of her own mortality forces Kate to realize that she has been tacitly subscribing to the prosperity gospel, living with the conviction that she can control the shape of her life with "a surge of determination". Even as this type of Christianity celebrates the American can-do spirit, it implies that if you "can't do" and succumb to illness or misfortune, you are a failure. Kate is very sick, and no amount of positive thinking will shrink her tumors. What does it mean to die, she wonders, in a society that insists everything happens for a reason? Kate is stripped of this certainty only to discover that without it, life is hard but beautiful in a way it never has been before.

Frank and funny, dark and wise, Kate Bowler pulls the reader deeply into her life in an account she populates affectionately with a colorful, often hilarious retinue of friends, megachurch preachers, relatives, and doctors. Everything Happens for a Reason tells her story, offering up her irreverent, hard-won observations on dying and the ways it has taught her to live.

Praise for Everything Happens for a Reason:

“I fell hard and fast for Kate Bowler. Her writing is naked, elegant, and gripping - she’s like a Christian Joan Didion. I left Kate’s story feeling more present, more grateful, and a hell of a lot less alone. And what else is art for?” (Glennon Doyle, number-one New York Times best-selling author of Love Warrior and president of Together Rising)

Previous page
  1. Listening Length
    4 hours and 32 minutes
  2. Author
    Kate Bowler
  3. Narrator
    Kate Bowler
  4. Audible release date
    February 6, 2018
  5. Language
    English
  6. Publisher
    Random House Audio
  7. ASIN
    B078PR8H65
  8. Version
    Unabridged
  9. Program Type
    Audiobook
  10. See all details
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Product details

Listening Length 4 hours and 32 minutes
Author Kate Bowler
Narrator Kate Bowler
Whispersync for Voice Ready
Audible.com Release Date February 06, 2018
Publisher Random House Audio
Program Type Audiobook
Version Unabridged
Language English
ASIN B078PR8H65
Best Sellers Rank #8,691 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals)
#5 in Christian Audiobooks on Death & Grief
#19 in Biographies of Medical Professionals (Audible Books & Originals)
#43 in Christian Death & Grief

Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5
6,127 global ratings
Nothing happens for a reason
3 Stars
Nothing happens for a reason
I had a major life shift happen this year when my spouse had a physical and mental breakdown related to a chronic illness. It’s rocked my world and I’ve often said “everything happens for a reason.” It doesn’t. Nothing happens for a reason. You can respond affirmatively though. And Hopefully you will.
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Top reviews from the United States

RHN
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read and funny too!
Reviewed in the United States on May 9, 2024
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Kate has a great Sense of humor which comes through, even while she is facing down death in her prime. If you want to be a better friend or listener, this is a great tool.
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lasynch
5.0 out of 5 stars We will probably never know -
Reviewed in the United States on July 5, 2019
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Dear Kate,

I write this as a note to you, not as a “review” of your book. I have no idea if you will ever read this. This month, you have chosen Jean Vanier’s Becoming Human as the book to read in your book club. He died in May at age 90; in June I lost a close friend who died at 66, while having breakfast with his wife in San Jose. A few days ago I heard that a friend was told he has 18 months to live (he has a brain tumor). I recently watched Jean Vanier’s eulogy for Henri Nouwen, who died in 1996. As I have grown older (I am 65 now) I have seen parents, friends, relatives…. pass away, and have often wondered how I will die.

When Nouwen died, I thought I had lost a close friend even though I had never met him. I realized that we are all dying. I knew that I was not afraid of death itself, I was concerned and fearful about how I would die and how the ones I loved would fare after I was gone. When I watched a video clip of Henri Nouwen many years ago about how we are not defined by what we have done, what we possess or what people think of us – we are all God’s beloved children – my fear of how I would die went away.

My professional life (from my early twenties to this day) has been spent as a scientist trying to understand determinism and randomness in nature. I do experiments with systems that are “chaotic” and unpredictable under certain conditions. When I read Vanier’s book many years ago, I was startled by his use of the word “chaos” as something to be feared, something awful. Of course, this is very traditional – a google search of the word chaos turns up “complete disorder and confusion.” As scientists have struggled to understand “chaos” and how to control and understand chaotic phenomena in nature and the laboratory, we confront the limitations of current knowledge and the tools we possess to understand determinism and randomness. The incredible ignorance that we dwell in as well as the astonishing levels of understanding that we have achieved through the past centuries offer a glimpse into the amazing aspects of God and God’s creation.

All Nouwen (and so many others who have understood this) wanted to do was to live whatever days he was given in ways that would be filled with love for God and God’s creation, which included all creatures and nature. Taking what little care we can of those that God has brought us in contact with, actively loving the little corner of the universe that we are placed in, at the same time knowing deep inside that we are part of all creation, is realizing heaven on earth.
So I would just say to you, Kate, what I learned from a little book by Thomas Kelly when I unexpectedly started on my journey as a follower of Jesus (from having been a staunch atheist before) – everything matters, nothing matters – as long as we know that we are God’s beloved children, and no one can take that away from us, no matter who we are or what we have done. Enjoy every minute discussing lizards with your son and be with him and the ones you love, nothing is more relevant or important.

Does everything happen for a reason? The scientist in me says we will never know or be able to pin down the answer in simplistic, causal terms in all but the most contrived, simple cases. For what happens in the incredibly complex lives of us humans, what we can hope for is that we will know how beloved we are of God, and how we are called to love God and each other. That is the purpose of our lives, to become human, and to be transformed into the Word.

In the words of an Irish sage

May the space between us be blessed with peace and joy
May the nourishment of the earth be yours.
May the clarity of light be yours,
May the fluency of the ocean be yours.
66 people found this helpful
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Wayne K Dawson
4.0 out of 5 stars Advice on how to face life and how the rest of us can help each other face it constructively
Reviewed in the United States on January 9, 2019
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This is an autobiography of what Kate Bowler is enduring as a patient diagnosed with colon cancer at a young age (I estimate in her early 30s) with a husband and a very young child. She teaches at Duke University in the theology department. Her thesis topic was on the prosperity gospel churches. In the course of the book, she, therefore, explores her feelings and impressions through both her religious faith and through many of the "prosperity gospel" notions that have permeated the mainstream of American society in general in the form of self-help books.

Although this is a deeply sad situation for any ambitious person to be facing, and I can only hope for her to experience a miraculous cure, the work has its moments of humor. She has a good wit and applies it well. Perhaps most importantly, I have learned from this some things that I should be cautious about saying to someone who is confronted with this kind of situation. If the reader has any interest in offering genuine comfort to someone who is facing death at any time (a friend, a spouse, some loved one), this might be a helpful guide on what to do and what not to do. In that way, in general, it may also help us with comforting others who daily face other forms of enduring bitterness.

Evidently, due to her thesis study, she often reflects on our culture of self-help books, which she probably rightly suspects are rooted in our inherent tendency to think we can control our circumstances by lifting ourselves up by the bootstraps. Sometimes, it is not so. Through her musings, she reflects on how damaging this can be. I had not realized just how pervasive this prosperity gospel is in our culture, and how it has even infected my own way of thinking. I do pray that she is healed somehow, but she ends during her cancer treatment with no clear way through. Our culture likes a happy ending, but we should read this to understand what to do when what we confront is not (necessarily) going to be that way. Perhaps pray like David, but realize that what is, is.

I think the title is perhaps a bit too pessimistic. The typical platitude of "everything happens for a reason" is of course questioned, and rightly so. We face things in life that are sometimes nothing but bitter and we cannot understand why. We may only know when we are in the arms of Jesus if this faith is what is true. When we walk through the valley of darkness, we are largely alone in our suffering, but she tells us how she has navigated the day to day in this world and where she found comfort.

I think sometimes it struck me as a little too sarcastic about people's intentions. It's true that we cannot avoid those sorts of feelings about people, and this is an area where I am helpless to say anything against such matters, as this is how she felt. Still, that was my personal impression in a few places. Nevertheless, I found this book really worth my time to read and I come away a little better enlightened.
9 people found this helpful
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Kimberly
5.0 out of 5 stars Kate Bowler is the best
Reviewed in the United States on April 18, 2024
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Powerful reminder that joy and humor can exist in deepest sorrow and despair.
One person found this helpful
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Red Arteta
3.0 out of 5 stars Terminal cancer aside...great for religious types, not so great for non-religious types.
Reviewed in the United States on May 23, 2018
Verified Purchase
I'll start off with saying that if you are a Christian with a captial "C", this book is 5 stars for you.

However, I'm not. I'm lightly christian nearly agnostic. I have cancer and thought this would be a great read for me to process my future with death and dying. However, I found it very hard to relate to the author. I admire her faith and that it gives her great strength and comfort, but it's not really my cup of tea. When you remove the religion aspect, the book doesn't quite stand on it's own. Perhaps that is because it she is so bound to her faith, which is good for her, but hard to related to.

If you have a terminal illness and are not Christian, this book is not for you. If you are Christian and have or don't have a terminal illness, you'd really like this book.
377 people found this helpful
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Abi
5.0 out of 5 stars Great!
Reviewed in the United States on April 23, 2024
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Great!
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babs
5.0 out of 5 stars Thoughtful and easy read
Reviewed in the United States on March 5, 2024
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Recommended this book for discussion in a book club. Easy to read. Important topics to talk about - how do we think about difficult times in our lives? Is there a reason for them? What is God's role? How do people respond to us in those times? How should we respond? Not a book of formulas. I would recommend.
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Top reviews from other countries

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Cliente Amazon
1.0 out of 5 stars The religious background and frame of thinking of the author disengaged me.
Reviewed in Italy on July 27, 2020
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Being an atheist, with no experience of religious upbringing, I found the constant religigious references of the author disengaging. I purchased the book on the recommendation of Glennon Doyle, an author whose writing I like very much. A devout Christian herself, she too makes religious references but for some reason, in her writing, they did not interfere (for me) with the quintessentially human and totally relatable stories she tells about her life. I did not finish this book and returned it.
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Kindle Customer
1.0 out of 5 stars Boooring
Reviewed in Mexico on August 16, 2018
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I will not recommend this book to no one. The best part is when you finish it, is a waste of time.
2 people found this helpful
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Shiela M. Watson White
5.0 out of 5 stars It is a true picture of someone suffering from terminal cancer.
Reviewed in Canada on August 2, 2018
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Kate Bowler, the author, wrote a great book which has helped me cope with the very recent death of my son. She is a completely honest account of her diagnosis ant the various traumatic events which she had to endure. She was a woman with malignent cancer who was filled with optimism and a good sense of humour for many of her trials. One of the helpful things is at the end where she lists questions or comments one should never make to terminal patients. To the best of my knowledge, she is still alive and teaching as usual. There was much to help me as I was facing the death of my son, and now have experienced that death.
4 people found this helpful
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Jane Jones
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow, wow, wow! This could be one of the best books ever.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 15, 2019
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So I intended to just read a chapter and ended up reading all night. I can't recommend this book enough. It's honest, even brutally honest at times, yet funny and full of faith. Above all else, it's REAL!
Probably not for the easily offended, and make sure you have a box of tissues handy. I cried all the way through.
7 people found this helpful
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Th. Sch.
5.0 out of 5 stars Thank you Ms Bowler
Reviewed in Germany on November 22, 2018
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Die Beschreibung des Lebens im Angesicht des plötzlich sehr nahen eigenen Todes, das “auf die Waage legen“ der Lebensweisheiten und Ratschläge von Predigerinnen und Predigern aus dieser Perspektive, haben mich sehr berührt. Ein ernstes, sehr hoffnungsvolles, sehr lebensfrohes Buch. Es ist auch als Ratgeber für die Begegnung mit leidenden Menschen sehr zu empfehlen.
2 people found this helpful
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