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The Gift of Fear Paperback – February 9, 2021

by Gavin de Becker (Author)
4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 12,365 ratings
#1 Best Seller in Abuse Self-Help
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As seen on TikTok, protect yourself by learning how to trust — and act on — your instincts with the "empowering" (Boston Globe) #1 bestselling guide to personal safety, from security expert Gavin de Becker.

A carjacker lurking in a shopping mall parking lot. An abusive husband pounding on the door. A disgruntled employee brandishing a gun. These days, no one is safe from the specter of violence. But according to Gavin de Becker, everyone can feel safer, act safer, be safer — if they learn how to listen to their own sixth sense about danger.

De Becker has made a career of protecting people and predicting violent behavior. His firm handles security for many of the leading figures in Hollywood and Silicon Valley, and his computerized risk-assessment system helps analyze threats to members of Congress and the Supreme Court. Now, in this unprecedented guide, de Becker shares his expertise with everyone. Covering all the dangerous situations people typically face — street crime, domestic abuse, violence in the workplace — de Becker provides real-life examples and offers specific advice on restraining orders, self-defense, and more. But the key to self-protection, he demonstrates, is learning how to trust our own intuitions. For everyone who's ever felt threatened, this book is essential reading.
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Previous page
  1. Print length
    400 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    February 9, 2021
  4. Dimensions
    5.5 x 1 x 8.25 inches
  5. ISBN-10
    0316235776
  6. ISBN-13
    978-0316235778
  7. See all details
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  1. “No” is a word that must never be negotiated, because the person who chooses not to hear it is trying to control you.
    Highlighted by 11,733 Kindle readers
  2. At core, men are afraid women will laugh at them, while at core, women are afraid men will kill them.
    Highlighted by 9,418 Kindle readers
  3. The unsolicited promise is one of the most reliable signals because it is nearly always of questionable motive.
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From the Publisher

Gift of fear, de Becker, Gavin

Gift of fear, de Becker, Gavin

Gift of fear, de Becker, Gavin

Gift of fear, de Becker, Gavin

Editorial Reviews

Review

"A how-to book that reads like a thriller...provocative...empowering."―Boston Globe

"De Becker has a lot to say about crime and the fear of crime, and he says it persuasively...His blend of empathy, reassurance, and common sense wows readers."―Newsweek

"The Gift of Fear offers the gift of survival. Read it."―Linden Gross, author of To Have or to Harm

“Superb and compelling, bringing into focus the complexity of human response to real or perceived danger. De Becker redefines the parameters of fear and challenges the basis of a fear response. This book is for everyone who has ever feared.”―Ann Wolpert Burgess, Professor of Nursing, University of Pennsylvania

“This book can save your life…It should be read by everyone who wants to triumph over fear.”―Scott Gordon, former Chairman of the Los Angeles County Domestic Violence Council

“The ability to protect oneself from violent behavior, largely through one’s own intuition, is the central premise of de Becker’s book—thus, fear is a gift. The book taps the anxieties of an era.”―New York Times

“Gavin de Becker’s book is the first to explain that our powers of intuition are the best protection we have against violence.”―Daniel M. Petrocelli, lead counsel for plaintiffs in Fred Goldman v. O. J. Simpson

“A tour de force…Riveting, instructive, a book that dissects the phenomenon of violence, unravels its mysteries, and shows us how to prevail.”―Erika Holzer, author of Eye for an Eye

“Should be required reading for women and their loved ones. It offers potentially life-saving information in a style that is compelling. It is by far the best book I have read on how to handle violence, and I recommend it to one and all.”―Theresa Saldana, actress and founder of Victims for Victims

“Gavin de Becker’s brilliant insights and encyclopedic familiarity with the minds of criminals have made powerful contributions to the successful prosecution of many cases, including mine, and now he shares that knowledge with his readers.”―Marcia Clark, prosecutor

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Back Bay Books; 1st edition (February 9, 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 400 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0316235776
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0316235778
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 11.2 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 1 x 8.25 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 12,365 ratings

About the author

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Gavin de Becker

Gavin de Becker

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Gavin de Becker is a three-time presidential appointee whose pioneering work has changed the way our government evaluates threats to our nation's highest officials. His firm advises many of the world's most prominent media figures, corporations, and law enforcement agencies on predicting violence, and it also serves regular citizens who are victims of domestic abuse and stalking. De Becker has advised the prosecution on major cases, including the O.J. Simpson murder trial. He has testified before many legislative bodies and has successfully proposed new laws to help manage violence.

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
12,365 global ratings
This is that book that I have been recommended more than ANY other book BY FAR!!!
5 Stars
This is that book that I have been recommended more than ANY other book BY FAR!!!
This book has been recommended to me more times than I can count (seriously well over 100 times!) I bought one previously and someone with sticky fingers stole my first copy so I bought a second. And then promptly gifted to my daughter. Third went to my Mom. This is my fourth.I've included pics of one of the first stories mentioned in the book so you get a rough idea as to how the book is written and what it talks about. I found it to be excellent in terms of acknowledging our gut feeling and never pushing it aside. Abiding that gut feeling can often mean the difference between surviving and not!
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Top reviews from the United States

LadySmileShopper
5.0 out of 5 stars Informative. Easy, interesting read.
Reviewed in the United States on March 3, 2024
Verified Purchase
Would recommend. Practical information for intuitive safety. Very interesting read. Had heard someone mention the book and glad I wrote down the title.
5 people found this helpful
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David McDowell
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book, especially now that he fixed the goofy anti-gun chapter.
Reviewed in the United States on January 2, 2024
Verified Purchase
As a 30 year veteran police officer, and highly-trained professional body guard, I have to say that deBecker's work is beyond compare. Everything he says in this book is completely accurate in my experience. VERY good info for college-age girls (or women of any age, really), if you can get them to pay attention. Sadly, most people won't pay attention until they're victimized. Info about reading peoples' intent is absolutely priceless. There is a lot of wisdom here.

Early editions of this book included some ridiculous statements about firearms, including some easily dis-proven outright lies. When I taught self-defense classes (where I always included a copy of this book), it included a few pages of my own, correcting all of the anti-gun stuff. This new edition is different, in a big way. Gave a copy to my granddaughter recently, and didn't even feel the need to include my "correction sheet"!

I applaud Mr. deBecker for correcting the only flaws in an otherwise priceless work.
102 people found this helpful
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Some Kid's Mom
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read
Reviewed in the United States on March 7, 2024
Verified Purchase
Very interesting and informative. A must read for women, but useful to anyone.
2 people found this helpful
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Roy Murry, Author
4.0 out of 5 stars Review of THE GIFT OF FEAR
Reviewed in the United States on April 8, 2023
Verified Purchase
THE GIFT OF FEAR
Survival Signal that
Protect us from Violence

GAVIN DE BECKER

Review by Author Roy Murry

If your Common Sense and Intuition need revision, this book is for you. De Becker gears the book toward many women's trust in men they associate with - husbands, boyfriends, men they meet, and abusers.

I found the book thought-provoking and educational for insecure people. However, strong-minded humans will enjoy the read, taking away little besides the stressful stories of others.

De Becker's knowledge of deranged humans is profound. He devils into how society confronts them and how those people develop, putting fear into any loving parent bringing up a child.

THE GIFT OF FEAR is a well-written and gripping read.
14 people found this helpful
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Tiffany O.
5.0 out of 5 stars This is helpful for more than just crime and violence prevention
Reviewed in the United States on July 31, 2012
Verified Purchase
This book was recommended to me by my ninjutsu instructor, who is also a US Marshall that deals with highly dangerous fugitives. If you are considering this book, allow me to boil it down a little for you. Think of how you can sleep in your own house, city or country, with all its unusual sounds, etc., and it won't bother you at all - you sleep right through it all - but if you travel somewhere else, it can be harder to sleep because you notice new sounds. Or, you can have a loud noise next to you that you're used to, so you will sleep through it (like an alarm clock!), but you'll wake SHARPLY at the quietest creak of a floor board? That *should* be counter-intuitive, right? One is loud, the other is quiet? DeBecker explains how the subconscious is processing something like (and I am misquoting him here I'm sure) 2000 things per minute when our conscious mind only does 50 (the ratio is similar even if the numbers are off - feel free to correct in comments if you recall the real numbers). So, while you sleep, your subconscious was processing all those sounds as normal and not normal, and that loud ice machine (or alarm clock lol) is "normal" - it belongs there. That floor board creaking oh so quietly? NOT normal, wake the hell up NOW!

THAT - your subconscious' ability to process thousands of things we aren't even aware of, then GIVE US CLUES - is the "gift of fear". What we struggle with as a society is knowing when it's that, and when it's just paranoia (hence the avoiding the news [or wrong/too much news] comments).

This book teaches you how to clear off the cobwebs and learn how to understand what your brain is telling you. I'm EXTREMELY analytical and empirically-driven - YET - I have always had strong intuition, and it didn't make sense to me that a "gut feeling" could be so accurate when it didn't have "empirical data" to back it up. It gives people like me who need to see a scientific reason for intuition just that - because it actually is simply a cause & effect of real processes.

There are so many astounding examples that I'd LOVE to put but I don't want to "spoil" the "OMG no way!" effect they had on me when I read them - so despite my enthusiasm, I will resist! But the examples, though some upsetting, are really astounding. To get the most of each, take each example and see if you can see how the principles apply. Train your brain.

The reason I say this is helpful in more than just crime and violence is that the subconscious processes clues on more than just violence and danger. It processes EVERYTHING. Body language experts do this, for example. The "intuition" aspect of this has also helped me in business and people relations, because I've opened myself up more to subconscious cues that I thought I was getting before but were "silly" - turns out they were NOT silly, and by learning how and when to listen, I make better decisions and actions.

If you really pay attention - maybe read this book twice! - this can really sharpen your skills in multiple areas. This is a book I recommend to so many people for so many reasons.
37 people found this helpful
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Facts Matter
5.0 out of 5 stars More valuable info than updated version!
Reviewed in the United States on April 28, 2024
Verified Purchase
Just as the advice contained in this book has been an inspiration and life saver to women like me who have survived domestic violence, the updated version contains inane and absurd political rants. Buy this version to help you see and act on your instincts to stay safe. If someone gives you the newer one, use it as TP!
One person found this helpful
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Jessica L.
5.0 out of 5 stars This is that book that I have been recommended more than ANY other book BY FAR!!!
Reviewed in the United States on April 7, 2024
Verified Purchase
This book has been recommended to me more times than I can count (seriously well over 100 times!) I bought one previously and someone with sticky fingers stole my first copy so I bought a second. And then promptly gifted to my daughter. Third went to my Mom. This is my fourth.

I've included pics of one of the first stories mentioned in the book so you get a rough idea as to how the book is written and what it talks about. I found it to be excellent in terms of acknowledging our gut feeling and never pushing it aside. Abiding that gut feeling can often mean the difference between surviving and not!
Customer image
Jessica L.
5.0 out of 5 stars This is that book that I have been recommended more than ANY other book BY FAR!!!
Reviewed in the United States on April 7, 2024
This book has been recommended to me more times than I can count (seriously well over 100 times!) I bought one previously and someone with sticky fingers stole my first copy so I bought a second. And then promptly gifted to my daughter. Third went to my Mom. This is my fourth.

I've included pics of one of the first stories mentioned in the book so you get a rough idea as to how the book is written and what it talks about. I found it to be excellent in terms of acknowledging our gut feeling and never pushing it aside. Abiding that gut feeling can often mean the difference between surviving and not!
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7 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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April
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book!
Reviewed in Canada on February 8, 2024
Verified Purchase
Good information. Be aware of your surroundings. Trust your gut. Not everyone is good out there
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Cecy Camberos
5.0 out of 5 stars Genial!
Reviewed in Mexico on August 3, 2023
Verified Purchase
Apenas lo empece a leer y debo decir que es adictivo, casi sin darte cuenta pasas capítulo tras capítulo. El escritor explica las cosas fácilmente y pone ejemplos sencillos y cotidianos. La verdad que el regalo del miedo es un imprescindible para las mujeres que vivimos en entornos violentos (casi toda america latina y por lo que leí EUA).
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliantly Insightful
Reviewed in India on April 8, 2024
Verified Purchase
I would recommend this to be read by everyone. Being a parent, I was able to relate to many things written in the book
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Marcos B.
5.0 out of 5 stars Totalmente recomendable.
Reviewed in Spain on February 5, 2024
Verified Purchase
Si quieres conocer el miedo, sus características, la información que nos aporta, sus formas y la forma de prevenirlo...Este libro es de gran utilidad. Ameno, interesante, con información y detalles que valen oro. Un ejemplar para leer en varias ocasiones.
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Martin Acton
5.0 out of 5 stars Unlocking the Power Within; A Review of “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 3, 2023
Verified Purchase
“The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker is a compelling and thought provoking book that delves into the realm of personal safety and intuition. It challenges conventional wisdom by arguing that fear, often dismissed or suppressed, can be a valuable gift that can protect us from harm if we learn to listen to it.

One of the key takeaways from the book is the importance of trusting out intuition. De Becker emphasises that intuition is not a mystical or supernatural force but a collection of our subconscious observations and experiences. He provides numerous real-life examples and case studies to illustrate instances where individuals ignored their gut feelings and paid the price.

Throughout the book de Becker explores the concept of pre-incident indicators. These are warning signals that, if recognised and heeded, can help us identify potential threats or dangerous situations before they escalate. By understanding these indicators, readers are empowered to assess their surroundings and make informed decisions about their personal safety.

De Becker also sheds light on the mindset of predators and the tactics they employ. He explains that predators often rely on manipulation, charm, and the element of surprise to gain control over their victims. By understanding their strategies, readers can learn to recognise these tactics and avoid falling into their traps.

One of the most valuable aspects of the book is the practical advice and strategies it offers for enhancing personal safety. De Becker emphasises the importance of situational awareness, teaching readers to be alert and observant of their surroundings. He provides techniques for assessing potential threats, setting boundaries, and using verbal and non-verbal cues to deter potential attackers.

“The Gift of Fear” goes beyond physical self-defence techniques and focuses on the psychological and situational aspects of personal safety. While it doesn’t provide an exhaustive guide to self-defence, it equips readers with the knowledge and tools to make better decisions and take appropriate action to ensure their safety.

What sets the book apart is its ability to strike a balance between empowering readers and instilling a sense of caution. De Becker acknowledges that while fear can be a powerful tool, it should not paralyse us or prevent us from leading fulfilling lives. He encourages readers to embrace their fear and use it as motivation to take proactive measures to protect themselves.

By reading “The Gift of Fear” you can benefit in several ways:
1. Increased Awareness: The book helps you become more aware of potential dangers and threats in your environment. It teaches you to recognise warning signs and trust your intuition.
2. Enhanced Personal Safety: You will learn practical strategies and techniques to improve your personal safety and protect yourself from harm.
3. Empowerment: The book aims to empower readers by giving them the knowledge and tools to navigate potentially dangerous situations confidently.
4. Improved Decision- Making: “The Gift of Fear” can help you make better decisions in situations involving personal safety. By understanding the dynamics of fear and intuition, you can respond more effectively and avoid unnecessary risks.
5. Self-Defence: The book doesn’t focus on physical self-defence techniques but rather on the psychological and situational aspects of personal safety. However, it can complement other self-defence training by providing valuable insights into the minds of predators.

I hope this review helps you in your decision to buy the book. One other point I bought a physical copy of the book, then a kindle version. I prefer the kindle version because the print in the physical book was very small and hard on the eyes.
I got a lot from this book and I hope you will enjoy it. Stay safe and well. - Martin Acton
9 people found this helpful
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