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The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World Hardcover – September 20, 2016
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Two spiritual giants. Five days. One timeless question.
Nobel Peace Prize Laureates His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu have survived more than fifty years of exile and the soul-crushing violence of oppression. Despite their hardships—or, as they would say, because of them—they are two of the most joyful people on the planet.
In April 2015, Archbishop Tutu traveled to the Dalai Lama's home in Dharamsala, India, to celebrate His Holiness's eightieth birthday and to create what they hoped would be a gift for others. They looked back on their long lives to answer a single burning question: How do we find joy in the face of life's inevitable suffering?
They traded intimate stories, teased each other continually, and shared their spiritual practices. By the end of a week filled with laughter and punctuated with tears, these two global heroes had stared into the abyss and despair of our time and revealed how to live a life brimming with joy.
This book offers us a rare opportunity to experience their astonishing and unprecedented week together, from the first embrace to the final good-bye.
We get to listen as they explore the Nature of True Joy and confront each of the Obstacles of Joy—from fear, stress, and anger to grief, illness, and death. They then offer us the Eight Pillars of Joy, which provide the foundation for lasting happiness. Throughout, they include stories, wisdom, and science. Finally, they share their daily Joy Practices that anchor their own emotional and spiritual lives.
The Archbishop has never claimed sainthood, and the Dalai Lama considers himself a simple monk. In this unique collaboration, they offer us the reflection of real lives filled with pain and turmoil in the midst of which they have been able to discover a level of peace, of courage, and of joy to which we can all aspire in our own lives.
- Print length384 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherAvery
- Publication dateSeptember 20, 2016
- Dimensions5.75 x 1.18 x 8.54 inches
- ISBN-109780399185045
- ISBN-13978-0399185045
Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now.
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From the Publisher
Editorial Reviews
Review
“The question may be timeless, but their answer has urgent significance.”
—Time Magazine
"[An] exquisite book...An intimate glimpse into the minds of two of the world's spiritual guides, and their foundation for an attainable and practical approach to experiencing a more enriching and sustainable life of abundant joy."
—Shelf Awareness
"This sparkling, wise, and immediately useful gift to readers from two remarkable spiritual masters offers hope that joy is possible for everyone even in the most difficult circumstances, and describes a clear path for attaining it."
—Publishers Weekly
"The world needs joy and compassion more than ever before – and who better than Archbishop Tutu and the Dalai Lama to show us how it is done. This beautiful book takes us on the journey of their friendship and gives us the gift of their wisdom. A bright spot of hope and love in this world."
—Sir Richard Branson
"It's a book that transports you deep within the intimate friendship that binds these two incredible souls. And it’s a book that vividly probes the very nature of joy itself — the illusions that eclipse it, the obstacles that obscure it, the practices that cultivate it, and the pillars that sustain it."
—Rich Roll, The Rich Roll Podcast
About the Author
Desmond Mpilo Tutu, Archbishop Emeritus of Southern Africa, became a prominent leader in the crusade for justice and racial reconciliation in South Africa. He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984 and the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2009. In 1994, Tutu was appointed chair of South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission by Nelson Mandela, where he pioneered a new way for countries to move forward after experiencing civil conflict and oppression. He was the founding chair of The Elders, a group of global leaders working together for peace and human rights. Archbishop Tutu is regarded as a leading moral voice and an icon of hope. Throughout his life, he has cared deeply about the needs of people around the world, teaching love and compassion for all. For more information please visit tutu.org.za.
Douglas Abrams is an author, editor, and literary agent. He is the founder and president of Idea Architects, a creative book and media agency helping visionaries to create a wiser, healthier, and more just world. Doug has worked with Desmond Tutu as his cowriter and editor for over a decade, and before founding his own literary agency, he was a senior editor at HarperCollins and also served for nine years as the religion editor at the University of California Press. He believes strongly in the power of books and media to catalyze the next stage of global evolutionary culture. He lives in Santa Cruz, California. For more information, please visit ideaarchitects.com and humanjourney.com.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
The Archbishop and the Dalai Lama looked at each other and the Archbishop gestured to the Dalai Lama. The Dalai Lama squeezed the Archbishop’s hand and began. “Yes, it is true. Joy is something different from happiness. When I use the word happiness, in a sense I mean satisfaction. Sometimes we have a painful experience, but that experience, as you’ve said with birth, can bring great satisfaction and joyfulness.”
“Let me ask you,” the Archbishop jumped in. “You’ve been in exile fifty-what years?”
“Fifty-six.”
“Fifty-six years from a country that you love more than anything else. Why are you not morose?”
“Morose?” the Dalai Lama asked, not understanding the word. As Jinpa hurried to translate morose into Tibetan, the Archbishop clarified, “Sad.”
The Dalai Lama took the Archbishop’s hand in his, as if comforting him while reviewing these painful events. The Dalai Lama’s storied discovery as the reincarnation of the Dalai Lama meant
that at the age of two, he was swept away from his rural home in the Amdo province of eastern Tibet to the one-thousand-room Potala Palace in the capital city of Lhasa. There he was raised in opulent isolation as the future spiritual and political leader of Tibet and as a godlike incarnation of the Bodhisattva of Compassion. After the Chinese invasion of Tibet in 1950, the Dalai Lama was thrust into politics. At the age of fifteen he found himself the ruler of six million people and facing an all-out and desperately unequal war. For nine years he tried to negotiate with Communist China for his people’s welfare, and sought political solutions as the country came to be annexed. In 1959, during an uprising that risked resulting in a massacre, the Dalai Lama decided, with a heavy heart, to go into exile. The odds of successfully escaping to India were frighteningly small, but to avoid a confrontation and a bloodbath, he left in the night dressed as a palace guard. He had to take off his recognizable glasses, and his blurred vision must have heightened his sense of fear and uncertainty as the escape party snuck by garrisons of the People’s Liberation Army. They endured sandstorms and snowstorms as they summited nineteen-thousand-foot mountain peaks during their three-week escape.
“One of my practices comes from an ancient Indian teacher,” the Dalai Lama began answering the Archbishop’s question. “He taught that when you experience some tragic situation, think about it. If there’s no way to overcome the tragedy, then there is no use worrying too much. So I practice that.” The Dalai Lama was referring to the eighth-century Buddhist master Shantideva, who wrote, “If something can be done about the situation, what need is there for dejection? And if nothing can be done about it, what use is there for being dejected?”
The Archbishop cackled, perhaps because it seemed almost too incredible that someone could stop worrying just because it was pointless.
“Yes, but I think people know it with their head.” He touched both index fingers to his scalp. “You know, that it doesn’t help worrying. But they still worry.”
“Many of us have become refugees,” the Dalai Lama tried to explain, “and there are a lot of difficulties in my own country. When I look only at that,” he said, cupping his hands into a small circle, “then I worry.” He widened his hands, breaking the circle open. “But when I look at the world, there are a lot of problems, even within the People’s Republic of China. For example, the Hui Muslim community in China has a lot of problems and suffering. And then outside China, there are many more problems and more suffering. When we see these things, we realize that not only do we suffer, but so do many of our human brothers and sisters. So when we look at the same event from a wider perspective, we will reduce the worrying and our own suffering.”
I was struck by the simplicity and profundity of what the Dalai Lama was saying. This was far from “don’t worry, be happy,” as the popular Bobby McFerrin song says. This was not a denial of pain and suffering, but a shift in perspective—from oneself and toward others, from anguish to compassion—seeing that others are suffering as well. The remarkable thing about what the Dalai Lama was describing is that as we recognize others’ suffering and realize that we are not alone, our pain is lessened.
Often we hear about another’s tragedy, and it makes us feel better about our own situation. This is quite different from what the Dalai Lama was doing. He was not contrasting his situation with others, but uniting his situation with others, enlarging his identity and seeing that he and the Tibetan people were not alone in their suffering. This recognition that we are all connected—whether Tibetan Buddhists or Hui Muslims—is the birth of empathy and compassion.
I wondered how the Dalai Lama’s ability to shift his perspective might relate to the adage “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.” Was it truly possible to experience pain, whether the pain of an injury or an exile, without suffering? There is a Sutta, or teaching of the Buddha, called the Sallatha Sutta, that makes a similar distinction between our “feelings of pain” and “the suffering that comes as a result of our response” to the pain: “When touched with a feeling of pain, the uninstructed, ordinary person sorrows, grieves, and laments, beats his breast, becomes distraught. So he feels two pains, physical and mental. Just as if they were to shoot a man with an arrow and, right afterward, were to shoot him with another one, so that he feels the pain of two arrows.” It seems that the Dalai Lama was suggesting that by shifting our perspective to a broader, more compassionate one, we can avoid the worry and suffering that is the second arrow.
“Then another thing,” the Dalai Lama continued. “There are different aspects to any event. For example, we lost our own country and became refugees, but that same experience gave us new opportunities to see more things. For me personally, I had more opportunities to meet with different people, different spiritual practitioners, like you, and also scientists. This new opportunity arrived because I became a refugee. If I remained in the Potala in Lhasa, I would have stayed in what has often been described as a golden cage: the Lama, holy Dalai Lama.” He was now sitting up stiffly as he once had to when he was the cloistered spiritual head of the Forbidden Kingdom.
“So, personally, I prefer the last five decades of refugee life. It’s more useful, more opportunity to learn, to experience life. Therefore, if you look from one angle, you feel, oh how bad, how sad. But if you look from another angle at that same tragedy, that same event, you see that it gives me new opportunities. So, it’s wonderful. That’s the main reason that I’m not sad and morose. There’s a Tibetan saying: ‘Wherever you have friends that’s your country, and wherever you receive love, that’s your home.’”
Product details
- ASIN : 0399185046
- Publisher : Avery; Later prt. edition (September 20, 2016)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 384 pages
- ISBN-10 : 9780399185045
- ISBN-13 : 978-0399185045
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 5.75 x 1.18 x 8.54 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #2,282 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #2 in Dalai Lama
- #74 in Happiness Self-Help
- #108 in Personal Transformation Self-Help
- Customer Reviews:
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About the authors
His Holiness the Fourteenth Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso, was born in 1935 to a peasant family in northeastern Tibet and was recognized at the age of two as the reincarnation of his predecessor, the Thirteenth Dalai Lama. The world's foremost Buddhist leader, he travels extensively, speaking eloquently in favor of ecumenical understanding, kindness and compassion, respect for the environment, and, above all, world peace.
Desmond Mpilo Tutu won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1984 and was only the second black person ever to receive it. In 1986 he was elected archbishop of Cape Town, the highest position in the Anglican Church in South Africa. In 1994, after the end of apartheid and the election of Nelson Mandela, Tutu was appointed as chair of South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission to investigate apartheid-era crimes. His policy of forgiveness and reconciliation has become an international example of conflict resolution, and a trusted method of postconflict reconstruction. He is currently the chair of The Elders, where he gives vocal defense of human rights and campaigns for the oppressed.
Douglas Carlton Abrams is a former editor at the University of California Press and HarperSanFrancisco. He is the co-author of a number of books on love, sexuality, and spirituality, including books written with Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Yogacharya B.K.S. Iyengar, and Taoist Master Mantak Chia. He is the co-founder of Idea Architects, a book and media development agency, which works with visionary authors to create a wiser, healthier, and more just world. In his life and work, he is interested in cultivating all aspects of our humanity 'body, emotions, mind, and spirit. His goal in writing fiction is to create stories that not only entertain, but also attempt to question, enchant, and transform.
The Lost Diary of Don Juan, which Atria will release in May 2007, is his first novel and will be published in twenty-seven countries around the world. He lives in Santa Cruz, California, with his wife and three children.
Customer reviews
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Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book easy to read and enjoyable. They find the content inspiring and thought-provoking, with a warm friendship between two wise men. The book provides simple concepts that are easy to understand and apply. Readers appreciate the compassion and generosity of spirit shown by the authors. Overall, the story is described as wonderful and beautiful.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book enjoyable and easy to read. They appreciate the insightful advice and dialogue that make them feel as if they are there. Readers mention it's a joy to read, beautifully written, and easy to understand.
"The Book of Joy exceeded all my expectations! Written as a beautiful conversation between His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu,..." Read more
"What a wonderful read. Such profound examples of grace, mercy, and kindness. Reminders that we are all connected. We all have darkness and light...." Read more
"...It’s great. Very interesting, relaxing to read. Not a preaching/evangelism type read, but spiritual and satisfying." Read more
"...It’s a short, but delightful book and I hope you get to read it." Read more
Customers find the book inspiring and thought-provoking. They say it speaks to their spirit and soul, with a positive message about joy. The book provides profound examples of grace, mercy, and kindness. It offers a work of compassion and commitment that opens their eyes to new possibilities in life.
"...The authors tackle some of life's biggest challenges, offering actionable insights on how to find joy amidst hardship, loss, and uncertainty...." Read more
"What a wonderful read. Such profound examples of grace, mercy, and kindness. Reminders that we are all connected. We all have darkness and light...." Read more
"...It’s great. Very interesting, relaxing to read. Not a preaching/evangelism type read, but spiritual and satisfying." Read more
"...We do. Each day and each moment, we are able to create and re-create our lives and the very quality of human life on our planet...." Read more
Customers appreciate the book's joyful tone. They find the discussion of joy uplifting and entertaining, with laughter and tears. The authors' playful sparring and banter between themselves are also appreciated. Overall, readers say the book chases away depressive thinking.
"...are engaging, and the tone is warm and conversational, often infused with humor (I caught myself smiling multiple times)...." Read more
"...It’s great. Very interesting, relaxing to read. Not a preaching/evangelism type read, but spiritual and satisfying." Read more
"...The reading lifted my heart and made me wonder and laugh." Read more
"...You see, hear, and feel tears and hugs, joking and teasing, prayer and meditation, and deep insights into life’s most perplexing issues...." Read more
Customers enjoy the conversations between Archbishop Tutu and the Dalai Lama. They find the friendship remarkable, with deep mutual affection and respect. The book is described as a warm meeting of two wise men. Readers appreciate the candor and depth of sharing between the two great men.
"...their agreements, their disagreements, and their obvious love and respect for each other...." Read more
"...experienced great suffering over the years, and they are the best of friends. The kind where respect is profound...." Read more
"...2 major leaders were difficult to understand, but the joy of their friendship was evident." Read more
"...The coauthor, Douglas Abrams, does a brilliant job of weaving together their conversations, asking probing questions and guiding the reader with..." Read more
Customers find the book's teachings simple and joyful. They appreciate the practical guidelines and explanation of practices that are helpful. The book provides a good introduction to human living, filled with humor, insights, guidance, and a depth of humanity. It is easy for them to understand and enjoy.
"...They're profound yet simple prescription for how one achieves happiness in life and maintains joy despite the tragedies we face is uplifting and..." Read more
"...Douglas Carlton Abrams does an excellent job of drawing together the different elements of this weeklong meeting of the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu...." Read more
"This book is a joy to read. It is filled with humor, insights, guidance and a depth of humanity that is a privilege to encounter...." Read more
"...an easy book to read and the philosophy of the to gentlemen is easy to understand" Read more
Customers appreciate the book's compassion. They find it humbling and enlightening, showing respect for different beliefs. The book helps readers gain insights about suffering, joy, and compassion. It brings smiles of joy and appreciation, with profound examples of grace, mercy, and kindness. Readers say the book provides a break from negative feelings and without religion, solemnity, or pomposity.
"...I loved the emphasis on gratitude, forgiveness, and connection, which resonated deeply with me...." Read more
"What a wonderful read. Such profound examples of grace, mercy, and kindness. Reminders that we are all connected. We all have darkness and light...." Read more
"...of each other, each free to laugh at his own expense, their generosity of spirit, their temperate complaints about everything from the infirmities..." Read more
"...government and restrictions - support their beliefs of generosity, compassion, happiness and joy...." Read more
Customers appreciate the stories. They find the stories interesting, inspiring, and relatable to everyday life events like meetings and journeys.
"...The chapters are engaging, and the tone is warm and conversational, often infused with humor (I caught myself smiling multiple times)...." Read more
"...It’s great. Very interesting, relaxing to read. Not a preaching/evangelism type read, but spiritual and satisfying." Read more
"...Helps to look at the humorous side of things; relates to every day, real events that are common to a human being." Read more
"...I love their stories, individually, and their journey, together, in friendship. This book inspires! A great read for you or gift for loved ones." Read more
Customers appreciate the book as a gift. They say it makes a great gift for philosophers and appreciate the wisdom and goodwill from these two men.
"...This book inspires! A great read for you or gift for loved ones." Read more
"...The title says it all! Would make a great gift 🎁..." Read more
"This book is the perfect gift, especially to yourself. The Dalai Lama and Bishop TUTU have an amazing, loving relationship...." Read more
"...You can't. This book is a gift, and will probably have creased pages when I give it. I can't put it down...." Read more
Reviews with images
A book to cherish for years.
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on December 26, 2024The Book of Joy exceeded all my expectations! Written as a beautiful conversation between His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, this book feels like sitting down with two wise friends who generously share their wisdom, humor, and compassion.
The authors tackle some of life's biggest challenges, offering actionable insights on how to find joy amidst hardship, loss, and uncertainty. I particularly appreciated the balance between personal anecdotes, spiritual reflections, and scientific studies. The blend makes the book accessible to anyone, regardless of background or beliefs.
The chapters are engaging, and the tone is warm and conversational, often infused with humor (I caught myself smiling multiple times). I loved the emphasis on gratitude, forgiveness, and connection, which resonated deeply with me.
If you're looking for a book to inspire, comfort, and remind you of the resilience of the human spirit, this is it. I already know I’ll be revisiting it often! Highly recommend for anyone on a journey to cultivate lasting happiness.
- Reviewed in the United States on November 5, 2024What a wonderful read. Such profound examples of grace, mercy, and kindness. Reminders that we are all connected. We all have darkness and light. To live with compassion can change the world. We must start within ourselves.
- Reviewed in the United States on August 22, 2024I watched the documentary that goes along with the book and so purchased this. It’s great. Very interesting, relaxing to read. Not a preaching/evangelism type read, but spiritual and satisfying.
- Reviewed in the United States on July 21, 2023Favorite Quote: No dark fate determines the future. We do. Each day and each moment, we are able to create and re-create our lives and the very quality of human life on our planet. This is the power we wield.
Synopsis: The Book of Joy covers a week-long summit between His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. First published in 2016, the ability to get these two leaders together was unpredictable until the moment they actually met. Given the Archbishop’s health condition at the time and the potential visa issues with the Dalai Lama (and his age), this meeting was recorded for posterity. The wisdom of these two renowned men fills the pages. Not only do they discuss joy, but also how to find joy no matter the circumstances, how to flip negative experiences to less negative ones, and how to build compassion and empathy into your daily life.
Why does this book beguile? I was skeptical going when beginning The Book of Joy because I didn’t want to read some topical nonsense about being happier. I was intrigued by the friendship and differences between these men. I was pleasantly surprised by how easily the book flowed and you can really appreciate the special bond these two men have. It’s a short, but delightful book and I hope you get to read it.
- Reviewed in the United States on September 30, 2017My brother commended this book to me with a an irresistible endorsement: "It's like listening to two old geezers swap stories, pondering, laughing, and jostling each other." In tone, that pretty much captures the book's spirit. The title and subtitle of this book—while sure to sell more copies, which is a very good thing—is a bit misleading. It sounds like one of a thousand self-help books, crystallized in the mid-twentieth century with Dale Carnegie and Norman Vincent Peale, perpetuated in our day by every 60-second celebrity with a cable-channel program. "The Book of Joy" is really a book about the joy of two venerable (and venerated), elderly gentlemen in each other's company. Both just happen to be international leaders of two different religious traditions, who have endured unimaginable ugliness and tragedy across their long lives, who have come out at the other end at peace with themselves and with others, and who just happened to have received, among hundreds of other accolades, the Nobel Peace Prize. (Characteristically, neither author mentions that honor in their one-paragraph biographies on the book's dust-jacket.) It is such a delight to overhear these gentlemen's conversations: their gentle ribbing of each other, each free to laugh at his own expense, their generosity of spirit, their temperate complaints about everything from the infirmities of old age to social atrocities, their agreements, their disagreements, and their obvious love and respect for each other. Yes, there are life-lessons here on everything from anger, despair, illness, and grief, but in 354 pages I never heard an autocratic pronouncement, a false note, or a cliché. Instead, I was listening to two well-worn, wise persons who have something to give me, whether or not I choose to accept it.
No age is ever settled and altogether happy, but, for me, this book arrived at just the right moment. Instead of despair, here is reason for hope; instead of fury, a reason to laugh; instead of fear, a reason for calm. To paraphrase one of the chapter's titles: by taking a much longer view than our 24/7 world of frenzy permits, we realize "we are fortunate to be alive." Highly recommended.
- Reviewed in the United States on August 28, 2024This is absolutely one of the best books I have ever read. The wisdom and insights given are teachings that everyone in this world needs from our current generation to many generations to come. This book exceeded all expectations.
- Reviewed in the United States on July 27, 2024Through the dialogue and descriptions I felt as though I was present and experienced firsthand the meetings between these two remarkable men. The reading lifted my heart and made me wonder and laugh.
Top reviews from other countries
- OctavianReviewed in Canada on August 29, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Humanity
As someone who often goes inward, this book reminds me that my heart longs to care because it’s our human nature. This book brought me to tears quite a few times and I’m not religious. The words and teachings of these two spiritual leaders is more than great. I can’t wait to share this book with others, who I know will love it too.
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E VReviewed in Mexico on February 18, 2023
5.0 out of 5 stars Interesante, entretenido e inspirador. Vale la pena
El libro habla sobre una visita de una semana que hizo el arzobispo Tutú al Dalai Lama. Es una lectura amena, te hace sentir que eres parte de la conversación.
Hablan sobre temas difíciles, pérdidas y cómo las enfrentan y procesan, después de ver todo lo que han vivido y que sigan teniendo ese nivel de esperanza y seguir inspirando con ejemplo es impresionante.
Vale la pena, el documental de está entrevista también está en Netflix.
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Bea WeltenbummlerinReviewed in Germany on October 18, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Tolles Buch
Klare Kaufempfehlung, die beiden Genies haben so viel Spaß beim Schreiben des Buches gehabt, ich freu mich gleich mit - gute Laune Buch.
- Dr SAM AhujaReviewed in India on March 21, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Really a Book of Joy!!
This book really describes the relationship between two World Leaders!! Both advocate the message of Peace and Harmony!! The teachings are really useful for everyone, despite the race or religion!! Both Teachers are gifted with Wit, and Compassion!! Their teachings are good for peace of mind and soul!!
- annaReviewed in Italy on August 1, 2022
5.0 out of 5 stars A book that should be in the scholastic syllabus.
A must for everyone to read.