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When People Are Big and God Is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man (Resources for Changing Lives) Paperback – June 1, 1997

by Edward T. Welch (Author)
4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 1,754 ratings
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Overly concerned about what people think of you? Welch uncovers the spiritual dimension of people-pleasing and points the way through a true knowledge of God, ourselves, and others.
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  1. Print length
    256 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Presbyterian & Reformed Pub Co
  4. Publication date
    June 1, 1997
  5. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.75 x 8.5 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    0875526004
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0875526003
  8. See all details
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From the Publisher

Other P&R Titles by Ed Welch

Ed Welch is a counselor and senior faculty member at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation and adjunct professor of practical theology at Westminster Theological Seminary. He is the author of over fifteen books including When People Are Big and God Is Small, Addictions – A Banquet in the Grave, and Blame It on the Brain?. Ed and his wife, Sheri, have two married daughters and eight grandchildren.

When People Are Big and God Is Small Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave Blame It on the Brain?
When People Are Big and God Is Small Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave Blame It on the Brain?
Customer Reviews
4.7 out of 5 stars
1,754
4.7 out of 5 stars
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4.6 out of 5 stars
284
Price $13.88 $14.49 $11.99
Pages 256 320 208
ADD Depression Homosexuality
A.D.D: Wandering Minds and Wired Bodies Depression: The Way Up When You Are Down Homosexuality: Speaking the Truth in Love
Customer Reviews
4.1 out of 5 stars
36
4.7 out of 5 stars
202
4.8 out of 5 stars
40
Price $3.49 $4.49 $3.49
Pages 32 32 48
'Just One More': When Desires Don't Take No for an Answer Motives: Why Do I Do the Things I Do Self-Injury: When Pain Feels Good
'Just One More': When Desires Don't Take No for an Answer Motives: Why Do I Do the Things I Do Self-Injury: When Pain Feels Good
Customer Reviews
4.5 out of 5 stars
77
4.8 out of 5 stars
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4.6 out of 5 stars
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Price $4.49 $3.49 $3.49
Pages 32 40 40

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Ed Welch is a good physician of the soul. This book is enlightening, convicting, and encouraging. I highly recommend it." --Jerry Bridges

"Need people less. Love people more. That's the author's challenge. . . . He's talking about a tendency to hold other people in awe, to be controlled and mastered by them, to depend on them for what God alone can give. . . . [Welch] proposes an antidote: the fear of God . . . the believer's response to God's power, majesty and not least his mercy." --Dallas Morning News

"Refreshingly biblical. . . . brimming with helpful, readable, practical insight." --John F. MacArthur Jr.

About the Author

Edward T. Welch (PhD, University of Utah) serves both the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation (CCEF) and Westminster Theological Seminary. At CCEF, he is director of counseling and academic dean, as well as a counselor and faculty member. At Westminster, he is professor of practical theology. He is author of Blame It on the Brain and When People Are Big and God Is Small and has contributed to several other books and journals, including the Journal of Psychology and Christianity.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Presbyterian & Reformed Pub Co; 32132nd edition (June 1, 1997)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 256 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0875526004
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0875526003
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.4 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.75 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 1,754 ratings

About the author

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Ed Welch

Ed Welch

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Edward T. Welch, MDiv, PhD, is a licensed psychologist and faculty member at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF). He earned a PhD in counseling (neuropsychology) from the University of Utah and has a Master of Divinity degree from Biblical Theological Seminary. Ed has been counseling for over thirty years and has written extensively on the topics of depression, fear, and addictions. His biblical counseling books include Shame Interrupted; When People Are Big and God Is Small; Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave; Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness; Crossroads: A Step-by-Step Guide Away from Addiction; Running Scared: Fear, Worry, and the God of Rest; When I Am Afraid: A Step-by-Step Guide Away from Fear and Anxiety; Side by Side: Walking with Others in Wisdom and Love; and A Small Book about a Big Problem: Meditations on Anger, Patience, and Peace.

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Top reviews from the United States

Linda K. Anderson
5.0 out of 5 stars Monumental Paradigm Shift
Reviewed in the United States on August 21, 2016
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I'm probably going to retread this book after I write this review because it has been so transformational in my thinking.
I am the children's ministry director at my church. I have made the observation that the perspective of the curriculum makes a huge difference in theology for our kids. When we focus on the Bible characters and how we can be like them or glean nuggets of how to follow God from their stories, the kids get mired in works-based theology. No matter how much we would point to the cross, the kids would hear works. Then we changed our curriculum that had a solid God focus: Who is God? What is He like? How should I act towards Him? This perspective started a liberation from works for our kids. But I could never figure out why.
This book really explains why: we were finally teaching the right and proper fear of God. When we spend a whole year camping out on His attributes, we were looking at Him with the joyful fear and awe that frees us from the fear of everything else.
To say that I have been convicted by this book is an understatement. But it is a joyful gratitude that permeates it. I'm so grateful for the keen awareness I have when I am being fearful of things that are not God. I am learning, through the Holy Spirit's power, to let go of that fear as one lays aside a heavy weight I never knew was there. The freedom is immense. Being free to not fear and love deeply instead is glorious--it is something I have searched for for many years. I'm so glad that God has so graciously revealed Himself to me in this way. Simply monumental.
75 people found this helpful
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Debby
5.0 out of 5 stars Fear God not man
Reviewed in the United States on August 15, 2023
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I love how practical and to the point this book is. It really challenges me in thinking about why I do what I do. Is it out of fear of others or obedience to God? Very challenging on a personal level.
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Savage
5.0 out of 5 stars Turning self-pity into biblical self-examination.
Reviewed in the United States on December 3, 2022
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This book is perfect for the one struggling with self worth, confidence, etc. Going from that leaky cup to a vessel overflowing all with the switch of your heart posture towards the fear of the Lord. A fear so great because our God is so great, so loving, so powerful, so forgiving and so enlightening that it is beyond understanding. THAT is why we fear. Because that is all for us, God gives it all to us for His glory. And it will empower you to live your best life, the life he called you to.
3 people found this helpful
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Mateo
5.0 out of 5 stars Truly A Must Read!
Reviewed in the United States on February 13, 2016
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I don't have enough time to write the quality of review that this book deserves. No book can ever replace Scripture, and reading it alone is sufficient. Yet God has gifted certain men to put the understanding He has given them of Scripture on paper and allowed it to bless us with the insight He has given them. This is one of those books.

Most people have a very basic understanding of the fear of man. We experience one form of it often when presented an opportunity to proclaim the Gospel. Even those that boldly stand on the corners and preach to the passing crowds will often tell you about the butterflies they get prior to starting their proclamation.

However, this book will open your eyes to a number of other ways you may fear man. I did not understand that much of my life was controlled by that fear. I am grateful for the people that kept on pressing me to read this.

It is hard for me to read most books cover to cover. It's easy to read three or four chapters, and then skip to the end to see what the final diagnosis or recommendation is. This is not a book you should or will want to do that with. I am starting through it for the third time soon because it is so fantastic. Everything he teaches is put on the bottom shelf and you don't have to be a scholar to understand it, but there is so much packed into this that you either need to go super-slow and meditate on both the Scripture he references and the point he's making, or go through it once thoughtfully and come back to study the points that pertain more to your situation.

Either way, this is a very worthwhile study. I can't recommend it enough.
72 people found this helpful
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A.Ch
4.0 out of 5 stars Eye-Opening
Reviewed in the United States on November 29, 2018
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I thought I didn't need to read this book because I thought, "Oh, this is just some self-help book, and I don't need that." However, I am very thankful that I did read it.
We live in a world and culture in which people place far too much emphasis on what others think. We often hold back and refuse to put ourselves out there or try new things because we fear failure and being mocked and being isolated from a group–simply put, people and their opinions of us control us. Ed Welch wisely helps readers see just how prominent the "fear of man" issue is in our lives. He illumines us to the reality that we have made people big and God small. However, he doesn't just identify a problem and bring it to the forefront of readers' minds; instead, he gets to the root of why we make people "big" in our lives, using biblically informed principles. Further, he offers biblically based solutions to the many ways "fear of man" affects us and our lives. Ultimately, Welch contends that the way to combat "fear of man" is by fearing God. He does not mean fear God in the sort of "God might strike me dead at any second" kind of fear. Rather, he means learning to view God with the holy reverence and awe that the Sovereign of the universe deserves. Understanding that God is the Almighty demands respect and obedience. People are to delight in obeying the Lord, which results in the fullness of joy at His right hand and frees us from being enslaved to the opinions and standards the ever-changing culture.
Since I believe almost ever person today deals with the fear of man in one way or another, I highly recommend this book to all people seeking to live a life to the glory of God alone.
19 people found this helpful
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Kindle Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Very well written. Made me convicted of my fear of man
Reviewed in the United States on December 27, 2022
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I read this book as a struggle with codependency and lack social confidence. It really made me examine my own heart and look at practical steps I need to take to start fearing God more. Bless this author.
3 people found this helpful
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Shayla
5.0 out of 5 stars super helpful
Reviewed in the United States on April 13, 2023
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This book was super helpful in breaking down exactly what it is that I struggle with and the different ways it can show in my life, and provided a hope-filled yet practical way to grow. Fully leaning upon Christ for overcoming the struggles and trusting that He knows what is best for me.
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Top reviews from other countries

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Marcos Luz
5.0 out of 5 stars This book brings God back to his place and people down to theirs...
Reviewed in Brazil on July 6, 2022
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The Old Testament indicates that we stand at the crossroads between fear of others and fear of God. The road leading to the fear of man may be expressed in terms of favoritism, wanting others to think well of you, fearing exposure by them, or being overwhelmed by their perceived physical power. When these fears are not combated with the fear of the Lord, the consequences can be devastating. But when God is given his rightful place in our lives, old bonds can be shattered.

Think about Jesus’ exhortation: “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” (Matt. 10:28).

Individualism, at first, only saps the virtues of public life; but, in the long run, it attacks and destroys all others, and is at length absorbed in downright selfishness. Selfishness is a vice as old as the world... individualism is of democratic origin. — Alexis De Tocqueville

the enemies

The problem we encounter in our quest to know and fear the Lord as he ought to be feared is that we have three prominent adversaries. The world, our own flesh, and the Devil conspire to elevate other people (or what we can get from them) over God.

needs

person looks like this: 1. Our basic shape is that of a receptacle — a cup — that holds psychic needs. 2. We have a long list of psychic needs, but these needs tend to cluster around the basic needs for love and significance. 3. When these needs are not met, we are in a deficit, and so we feel empty. 4. We must be careful who fills these needs. Either we can look to people, or we can look to Christ.
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Pauline Johnson
5.0 out of 5 stars My eyes have been opened
Reviewed in Canada on February 14, 2021
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This book has changed my entire perspective on my walk with God and what my needs truly are. I am now focused on his will and not my own. I highly recommend this book.
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Jahmila
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 10, 2022
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It was talking directly to me lol praise God. It’s a great book which gets to the crux of the matter about anxiety etc.
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Pollyanna
4.0 out of 5 stars Worth buying
Reviewed in Australia on August 6, 2021
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Worth buying it. I feel like everyone should read this book.
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Carmen Carvalho
5.0 out of 5 stars Maravilhoso
Reviewed in Brazil on December 30, 2021
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Se você quer aprender sobre o temor do Senhor e o temor dos homens, se quer entender o significado de Provérbios 9:10 "O temor do Senhor é o princípio da sabedoria, e o conhecimento do Santo a prudência". Este livro é para você. Ótima reflexão.
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