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Girl Storm: A memoir of chaos, humor, and resilience in the path of profound autism Paperback – September 25, 2023

by Peg Kerswell (Author)
4.9 4.9 out of 5 stars 38 ratings
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"Kerswell’s scenecraft and storytelling are piercing, but it’s her frankness that makes this book a triumph."
––Booklife

"Girl Storm will pull on every heart-string."––Los Angeles Book Review

"It is a gift to the cause of authentic autism awareness."–– Jill Escher, president of the National Council on Severe Autism.


Armed with just a dark sense of humor and a steady supply of respitinis, a new mother struggles to stay afloat amidst the emotional turbulence and violent chaos caused by her daughter’s profound autism.

When Peg Kerswell gives birth to a healthy baby girl, she’s excited to experience all of the joys of motherhood. But her hopes are crushed after her infant daughter begins missing milestones and she’s given a devastating diagnosis: autism. But this is only the beginning. Walk alongside the author as she wades through denial, overwhelming grief, seizures, stifling isolation, and the constant and real fight for survival. Peg faces her own jealousy in a world full of typpies while grappling with the death of her alcoholic mother, struggling with her own addiction, and the biggest crisis of them all—the grueling, often ridiculous, moment-by-moment nature of caring for a child with severe disabilities. But it’s her daughter’s descent into life-threatening self harm that finally pushes Peg and her husband, Jim, to the edge, where they must consider doing something they thought they could never do.

Filled with (somewhat absurd) lists, charts, a few poems, and its own footnoted dictionary, this atypical memoir becomes a mind-boggling collage of the alternate universe that is special needs parenting. Girl Storm is an immersive, powerfully visceral, darkly funny and ultimately uplifting account of love, loss, and acceptance that will resonate with anyone whose life has gone in an unexpected direction.

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  1. Print length
    288 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    September 25, 2023
  4. Dimensions
    6 x 0.72 x 9 inches
  5. ISBN-13
    979-8988118817
  6. See all details
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Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0CJXBM1MH
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Middlechild Publishing (September 25, 2023)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 288 pages
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 979-8988118817
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.1 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.72 x 9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.9 4.9 out of 5 stars 38 ratings

About the author

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Peg Kerswell

Peg Kerswell

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Peg Kerswell was raised outside of Buffalo, New York. In another life, she released two albums as musician Margaret Far. She lives in northern New Jersey with her husband and their COVID rescue cat, Django.For more information, visit www.pegkerswell.com.

Customer reviews

4.9 out of 5 stars
4.9 out of 5
38 global ratings
Honesty That Made Me Feel Seen
5 Stars
Honesty That Made Me Feel Seen
Honest, Raw, Uplifting, Sad, Emotional, Humorous...REAL. There are not enough words to describe how this book made me feel; but the most important thing I can say is that after reading this, I do not feel alone on this journey. This is a must-read for all who have a special needs individual in their life.
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Top reviews from the United States

Joanne Curcio
5.0 out of 5 stars She Nailed It
Reviewed in the United States on February 21, 2024
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Only those with a profoundly autistic child can understand how difficult it can be to push through the unimaginable stress, crushing fear and the whack-a-mole of challenges and still have a sense of humor, but Peg Kerswell did just that. I couldn't put the book down--it was candid, emotional, heart-wrenching and entertaining all at once. Her love and dedication for Ellie shone through and is an inspiration to all of us who have walked the same road. I highly recommend this great read.
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Lisa
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellently written. A really wonderful book.
Reviewed in the United States on October 30, 2023
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Peg Kerswell's writing is so strong and entertaining. She manages to walk the reader through many tough topics and situations, but then she intermittently interjects a short, well-thought-out, heart-stopping poem or a clever, funny footnote defining a word she made up while caring for her daughter, which liberates the reader from the storyline and sends their thoughts in another direction. There is laughter, thought, and tears. In the end, the story is about love. I hope many people read it. It is a great reminder that we never really know what is happening to those just next door to us, and that kindness and compassion towards others should prevail. I am looking forward to Ms. Kerswell's next publication.
3 people found this helpful
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Tao Lin
5.0 out of 5 stars Devastating, well-written
Reviewed in the United States on April 29, 2024
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In Girl Storm, Peg Kerswell wrote about Ellie, her profoundly autistic daughter. Ellie is nonverbal and constantly hitting herself and her parents. Caring for her seems extremely difficult but doable, until Ellie is 13 and begins to hit her head as hard as she possibly can against floors and walls for hours at a time. Peg and her husband pad the walls and floors of Ellie's "safe room" and sometimes Ellie wears a snowboarding helmet. 

To me, it seemed that Ellie started to especially hit her head against things—and to hit it with her own closed fists, more than a thousand times a day—because malnutrition, toxification, and years of multiple "meds" had made her life so hellish that she instinctively wanted to end it and was doing all she could to end it. Her parents don't allow her to end her life, but also don't have any ways to make her feel better, and don't seem to be aware that she might be trying to kill herself because it feels excruciating for her to be alive. Ellie is placed in a "residential facility" at age 14.

The word "vaccine" doesn't occur in the book. Nutrition and detoxification aren't mentioned either. Ellie's diet seems terrible, and none of the many doctors she sees ever mentions diet or toxicity, at least not in a way that is mentioned in the book. Everyone just seems baffled and helpless. Drugs—"meds"—and various therapies are the only things given to help Ellie's situation, it seems.

The most disturbing part to me was when Ellie started to try to kill herself. It started with one incident where she "dashed across the room, dropped directly from standing onto her knees, and then, with a big dramatic windup, she threw her head down onto the floor so fast and with such unbelievable force that it should have knocked her out. / The hit was hard enough to kill her. / After a few seconds, she brought herself back up to sitting and went back to her stimmables as if nothing had happened."

This continued for a year, intensifying. In one scene, Peg and one of Ellie's therapists watch a video of a camera that is inside Ellie's "safe room," showing Ellie trying to kill herself—"she bolts all over her playroom and smashes her head over and over and over. First on the wall, then the door, then the window. It's like watching a deadly game of pinball. The back of her head. The front of her head. The side of her head. That head. That precious head that I've done everything in my power to protect. To keep safe. To heal. In the past hour she's banged her head hundreds of times. These are not gentle taps. Every hit sends shock waves through the entire house." 

She's nonverbal, so she can't say that she feels terrible, that life is so horrific that she wants to die. Her parents can't help her, and Western medicine can't help her and is what worsened her autism over years to where she she was doing this to herself, hitting her head as hard as possible. This continued over weeks or months, and then she was placed in the residential facility, where her room was fully padded.
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Pam K
5.0 out of 5 stars Must Read
Reviewed in the United States on February 24, 2024
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I have shared this book with friends and family far and wide - all have been moved by this amazing story of love.
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Pearl
5.0 out of 5 stars This memoir by Peg Kerswell is essential reading for anyone involved in the I/DD system.
Reviewed in the United States on January 30, 2024
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Kerswell's unfiltered honesty and courage shine through, offering a refreshing perspective. It's heartening to learn their daughter is thriving in her current placement, allowing them to live their lives to the fullest while ensuring Ellie receives the care she needs. Raising a profoundly autistic child is an immense challenge, often requiring significant support. It's unfortunate that many families only can access help in moments of crisis. The current system inadequately supports families dealing with profound autism, with limited available placements and insufficient assistance. The resilience of this family in navigating these challenges and ultimately finding the necessary services for their daughter is inspiring. Kerswell's memoir instills hope, reminding families like ours that there's light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you, Peg, for sharing your story.
One person found this helpful
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Sarah F.
5.0 out of 5 stars Incredibly transparent and moving
Reviewed in the United States on November 29, 2023
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So I’m 80 years old, taught school with kids who were autistic-lite compared to Ellie, been listening to the Autastic podcast for years, live a couple houses from the home of an 8-year-old profoundly autistic child (8-foot fences with locks at the top). I heard about this book on Jill Escher’s Autism Confidential, and I could barely put it down even though it arrived on Thanksgiving Eve. This is the most transparent story of the fourteen-years-nonstop care of a profoundly autistic person that will ever be written. The last chapter, “On the Lam,” left me sobbing with gratitude. Way to go, New Jersey! Please with all deliberate speed share your secret.
4 people found this helpful
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Thomas M
5.0 out of 5 stars Heartfelt
Reviewed in the United States on October 12, 2023
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A true rendition on the power of love between a mother, father and their daughter. No matter what they went through they persevered and always gave Ellie what she needed and more love then a lot of people get in a lifetime . The author is brave in being open about her own journey and how difficult that has been at times . Her honestly and emotion will surely help a lot of people going through a similar situation . I recommend it to anyone wanting a well written heartfelt book about life and what the authors life has been and evolves into .
2 people found this helpful
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Betsy Voreacos
5.0 out of 5 stars A real look at a real life
Reviewed in the United States on November 10, 2023
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This is a book that makes you want to become best friends with the author. In a world where social media shows us that everyone's lives (but ours) are filled with sunshine and roses -- all day, every day-- it is so refreshing to hear the other side of life a not so picture-perfect life.. This book, filled with humorous honesty will stay with you for a long time.
4 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Sinead Conneely
5.0 out of 5 stars Thank you Peg
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 2, 2023
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From a parent of a profoundly autistic person, thank you for this loving, funny, heartbreaking and honest book. Our lives in print, made visible.
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