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From Conflict to Courage: How to Stop Avoiding and Start Leading Paperback – May 3, 2022
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Unresolved workplace conflict wastes time, increases stress, and negatively affects business outcomes. But conflict isn't the problem, mismanagement is.
Leaders unintentionally mismanage conflict when they fall into patterns of what Marlene Chism calls “the Three As:” aggression, avoidance, and appeasing. “These coping mechanisms are ways human beings avoid the emotions that come with conflict,” says Chism. In this book she shows how to fearlessly deal with conflict head-on by expanding your conflict capacity.
Conflict capacity is a combination of three elements. The foundation is the Inner Game—the leader's self-awareness, values, discernment, and emotional integrity. The Outer Game is the skills, tools, and communication techniques built on that foundation. Finally, there's Culture—the visible and invisible structures around you that can encourage or discourage conflict.
Chism offers exercises, examples, and expert guidance on developing all three elements. Leaders will discover techniques to increase leadership clarity, identify obstacles, and reduce resistance. They'll develop powerful skills for dealing with high-conflict people and for initiating, engaging in, and staying with difficult conversations.
Readers will learn that when they see conflict as a teacher, courageously face it, and continually work on transforming themselves, they can get the resolution they are seeking. They can change minds.
“A very practical and excellent how-to guide.” —Bill Stoller, CEO and founder, Express Employment Professionals
“An actionable blueprint for how to handle . . . difficult conversations.” —Tanveer Naseer, MS, Inc. Top 100 leadership and management expert, author of Leadership Vertigo
- Print length224 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherBerrett-Koehler Publishers
- Publication dateMay 3, 2022
- Dimensions6 x 0.56 x 9 inches
- ISBN-101523000724
- ISBN-13978-1523000722
Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now.
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Editorial Reviews
Review
—Bill Stoller, CEO and founder, Express Employment Professionals
“From Conflict to Courage offers leaders a vision of how to become change agents by addressing conflict and modeling the behaviors that promote trust, collaboration, and inclusion. A must-read for leaders at every level of an organization.”
—Vladimir and Danijela Kovačević, cofounders, Inovatec
“For most leaders, conflict is something to avoid at all costs. In From Conflict to Courage, Marlene Chism makes the case for why we need to rethink how we view conflict and provides readers with an actionable blueprint for how to handle those difficult conversations and achieve greater alignment in their organization.”
—Tanveer Naseer, MS, Inc. Top 100 leadership and management expert, award-winning leadership writer, leadership podcast host, and author of Leadership Vertigo
“We call them ‘difficult conversations.’ They’re part of a leader’s job. However, too many leaders avoid those conversations whenever they can. In this book, Marlene Chism makes the case for why difficult conversations are an opportunity to improve. Even better, she tells you how to do it. If you’re a leader, especially one who avoids difficult conversations, this book should be on your must-read list.”
—Wally Bock, author, blogger, and writing coach
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Berrett-Koehler Publishers (May 3, 2022)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 224 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1523000724
- ISBN-13 : 978-1523000722
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 6 x 0.56 x 9 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #156,153 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #46 in Business Conflict Resolution & Mediation (Books)
- #2,217 in Leadership & Motivation
- #4,087 in Personal Transformation Self-Help
- Customer Reviews:
About the author
Marlene Chism is the leading authority on stopping workplace drama. She works with C-Suite leaders to build drama-free cultures that drive growth and reduce costly mistakes. Marlene is known for helping managers address “the elephant in the room” and initiate conversations that gets results. Her expertise includes leadership development, conflict management, and strategic communication.
Marlene is a recognized expert on the Linked In Learning platform, producing educational videos on Anger Management, Having Difficult Conversations, and Working with High Conflict People.
She is the author of four commercially published books: Stop Workplace Drama (Wiley 2011), No-Drama Leadership (Bibliomotion 2015), and Stop Drama in Your Healthcare Practice (Greenbranch 2018), and From Conflict to Courage (Berrett-Koehler, 2022).
As a seasoned professional speaker, Marlene’s transformational message of personal responsibility, and alignment is making its way around the globe at leadership academy’s corporate retreats, association conferences, and customized webinars.
Marlene has a degree in communications from Drury University, and a master’s degree in HR Development at Webster University. She is an advanced practitioner in Narrative coaching.
To learn more about Marlene, visit www.marlenechism.com
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A good framework that helps business leaders to communicate and manage internal conflicts
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on May 6, 2022From Conflict to Courage by Marlene Chism is an excellent resource if you think you need help at resolving conflict. Truth is, most of us do need help. This book is not just a regurgitation of conflict management that you’ve either read about or received training in. The author’s presentation is clear and pertinent. Chism is a consultant, but her book isn’t written for consultants. I found it refreshing. The chapters are clear and succinct. The information makes sense, and the stories and examples help clarify the key points. There are exercises to do to help you better understand where you stand in handling conflict. From Conflict to Courage has real meat in it. I very much enjoyed Chism’s book, because it made me think about conflict resolution and management in a new way.
- Reviewed in the United States on May 21, 2022We’ve all had difficult conversations. Whether delivering or receiving them, these conversations can provoke anxiety, fester for days, or create unintended consequences. Marlene’s *From Conflict to Courage: How to Stop Avoiding and Start Leading* is packed with actionable steps that you can implement immediately for tackling those difficult conversations or conflicts. She offers a concrete blueprint for handling difficult conversations with confidence and integrity. The greatest value of reading this book was not only the insights but the *Skills Practice* and *Reflection* at the end of each chapter. *From Conflict to Courage* guides leaders to transform “difficult conversations” into productive conversations that resolve difficult situations and yield results. A MUST read for anyone in leadership!
- Reviewed in the United States on May 22, 2022First, know that this is the first leadership guide that I read in one sitting. It's that good.
Second, this is an eye-opener. I saw myself, co-workers, bosses, employees, and relatives in these scenarios.
My top take aways were how to gain emotional integrity and recognizing my choice.
Marlene has struck the core of what ails every workplace!
- Reviewed in the United States on May 20, 2022Marlene Chism in From Conflict to Courage offers leaders a thought-provoking perspective on the conflict. Her perspective is that conflict is wasteful and expensive yet manageable. The key is to shift the focus from people being the problem to leadership’s lack of capacity causing mismanagement of conflictual scenarios. These situations grow and fester into toxic conflict, costing organizations productivity, profit, and community impact. This is true in any organization, from a multinational to a local bakery, university, church, or family. Chism drawing on years of experience as a worker, leader, and leadership coach refreshingly doesn’t blame. She offers ways to learn to grow capacity. She provides practical step-by-step approaches for leaders to develop their skills to align with their values and identity to handle conflictual situations. She provides clear examples, often personal and practical how-to approaches for leaders to grow their skills. This book provides a fresh perspective on learning and applying skills to help any sector organization be happier and more productive. Reading and practice from Conflict to Courage should be required reading and practice in any leadership development program. Imagine the results if drama and conflict could be reduced in the organization you lead. Please read the book, teach the concepts and keep it as a readily accessible guide to expand your leadership capacity.
- Reviewed in the United States on June 26, 2023I have mixed feelings about this book. Whilst some tools covered are tactically helpful, many critical elements for a great leadership book are missing. So, the high percentage of 5 star reviews really surprised me. No matter what, readable, but I would suggest potential buyers to borrow one from a library first.
p.s. Below please find some favorite passages of mine fyi.
We make conflicts personal: then our brains look for evidence to support our views. Most of us view conflict as some version of win-lose, right vs wrong, us vs them, liberal vs conservative. Pg18
Live meeting skills:
1. Set the intention (always positive on how to improve, not why failed)
2. State the observed behavior
3. Speak to the vision
4. Make a business case
5. Get curious (walk me through your thought process, help me understand what’s happening, what changed over the last three weeks?)
6. Think like a consultant (Don’t judge. Just listen, and find your answer in one of these five categories: Clarity, Skill, Priorities, Resources, Willingness)
7. Radical listening (Discuss the audience’s feeling)
8. The magic phrase (Yes, it’s difficult. Are you willing to try/do/go for it?)
9. Getting agreement and accountability pg144-157
Signs of irresponsible leadership
• Allowing excuses
• Appeasing
• Micromanaging
• Fixing problems
• Hiding bigger problems from executives
• Making promises that aren’t kept
• Missing deadlines pg182
4.0 out of 5 stars A good framework that helps business leaders to communicate and manage internal conflictsI have mixed feelings about this book. Whilst some tools covered are tactically helpful, many critical elements for a great leadership book are missing. So, the high percentage of 5 star reviews really surprised me. No matter what, readable, but I would suggest potential buyers to borrow one from a library first.
Reviewed in the United States on June 26, 2023
p.s. Below please find some favorite passages of mine fyi.
We make conflicts personal: then our brains look for evidence to support our views. Most of us view conflict as some version of win-lose, right vs wrong, us vs them, liberal vs conservative. Pg18
Live meeting skills:
1. Set the intention (always positive on how to improve, not why failed)
2. State the observed behavior
3. Speak to the vision
4. Make a business case
5. Get curious (walk me through your thought process, help me understand what’s happening, what changed over the last three weeks?)
6. Think like a consultant (Don’t judge. Just listen, and find your answer in one of these five categories: Clarity, Skill, Priorities, Resources, Willingness)
7. Radical listening (Discuss the audience’s feeling)
8. The magic phrase (Yes, it’s difficult. Are you willing to try/do/go for it?)
9. Getting agreement and accountability pg144-157
Signs of irresponsible leadership
• Allowing excuses
• Appeasing
• Micromanaging
• Fixing problems
• Hiding bigger problems from executives
• Making promises that aren’t kept
• Missing deadlines pg182
Images in this review