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Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are Hardcover – November 8, 2022
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Relationships are wonderful . . . until they're not.
Stop the dysfunction of unhealthy relationships and learn biblical ways to set boundaries--and, when necessary, say goodbye.
Is it unloving or selfish to set a boundary with family members or friends? Are Christians ever called to walk away from a relationship that's no longer safe or sustainable? #1 New York Times bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst deeply understands these hard questions in the midst of relational struggles.
After thousands of hours of counseling intensives and extensive theological research that transformed the way she defined healthy relationships, Lysa is now more committed than ever to loving people well without losing the best of who she is.
In these pages, Lysa will help you:
- Understand the five factors to remember when implementing healthy boundaries.
- Determine the appropriate amount of personal and emotional access someone has to you.
- Stop being misled and emotionally paralyzed by wrongly interpreted or weaponized Bible verses that perpetuate unhealthy relationships.
- Be equipped with effective boundary-setting tools, such as realistic scripts and practical strategies for healthier communication.
- Be empowered to say goodbye without guilt when a relationship has shifted from difficult to destructive.
- Receive therapeutic wisdom you can trust directly from Lysa's Christian counselor Jim Cress, who weighs in throughout the book.
You'll be relieved to learn that boundaries aren't just a good idea, they're a God idea.
Look for additional biblically based resources and devotionals from Lysa:
- Forgiving What You Can't Forget
- It's Not Supposed to Be This Way
- Uninvited
- You're Going to Make It
- Embraced
- Seeing Beautiful Again
- Print length256 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherThomas Nelson
- Publication dateNovember 8, 2022
- Dimensions5.75 x 1.05 x 8.75 inches
- ISBN-10140021176X
- ISBN-13978-1400211760
Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now
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From the brand
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Books, Devotionals & Studies
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Lysa deeply understands the heartache that comes with life-shattering circumstances. But she's also discovered that our hardships can be the divine appointments our souls need to radically encounter God.
Filled with Biblical truth, gut-honest vulnerability, and refreshing wit, Lysa's words will help you find redemption in every part of your story.
From the Publisher
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I Want to Trust You, but I Don't: Moving Forward When You’re Skeptical of Oth...
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Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Pai...
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Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who Yo...
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Good Boundaries and Goodbyes Bible Study Guide plus Streaming Video: Loving O...
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It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappoint...
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Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely
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Customer Reviews |
4.8 out of 5 stars 572
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4.7 out of 5 stars 25,562
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4.8 out of 5 stars 4,647
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4.8 out of 5 stars 1,133
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4.8 out of 5 stars 19,945
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4.7 out of 5 stars 12,153
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Price | $12.99$12.99 | $16.28$16.28 | $12.36$12.36 | $12.13$12.13 | $15.74$15.74 | $9.50$9.50 |
Discover more titles from Lysa: | Lysa shows you what to do with your skepticism and distrust so you can heal from past betrayals and move forward with strength and resilience. | In Forgiving What You Can't Forget, join bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst as she helps you discover how to move on, make peace with painful memories, and create a life that's beautiful again. | In Good Boundaries and Goodbyes, Lysa helps you stop the dysfunction of unhealthy relationships by showing you biblical ways to set boundaries--and, when necessary, say goodbye--without losing the best of who you are. | Building upon and further unpacking the scriptural concepts in book, this six-session Bible study with Lysa helps you see boundaries aren’t just a good idea, they’re a God idea. | What do you do when God’s timing seems questionable or hurtful? In It's Not Supposed to Be This Way, Lysa shows you how to live assured when life doesn't turn out the way you expected. | Do you ever feel left out, lonely, or less than? We've all been there. Join Lysa in Uninvited as she teaches you how to keep rejections in perspective and foster healthy connections in your relationships. |
Format | Hardcover | Hardcover | Hardcover | Softcover | Hardcover | Softcover |
Editorial Reviews
About the Author
Lysa TerKeurst is president and chief visionary officer of Proverbs 31 Ministries and the author of seven New York Times bestsellers, including I Want to Trust You, But I Don't, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes, Forgiving What You Can't Forget, and It's Not Supposed to Be This Way. She enjoys life with her husband Chaz and her kids and grandkids. Connect with her at www.LysaTerKeurst.com or on social media @LysaTerKeurst.
Product details
- Publisher : Thomas Nelson (November 8, 2022)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 256 pages
- ISBN-10 : 140021176X
- ISBN-13 : 978-1400211760
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 5.75 x 1.05 x 8.75 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #516 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #10 in Christian Women's Issues
- #12 in Christian Personal Growth
- #17 in Christian Spiritual Growth (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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Vulnerable and hopeful. Great read for any relationship!
Drew’s Reviews
About the author

Lysa TerKeurst is president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and the author of more than twenty-five books, including It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way and the #1 New York Times bestsellers Forgiving What You Can’t Forget and Uninvited. She writes from her family’s farm table and lives in North Carolina. Connect with her at www.LysaTerKeurst.com or on social media @LysaTerKeurst.
Customer reviews
Customer Reviews, including Product Star Ratings help customers to learn more about the product and decide whether it is the right product for them.
To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.
Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book insightful and thought-provoking. They appreciate the author's clear and practical approach to boundaries. The writing style is described as well-written, easy to read, and not overly wordy. Readers praise the author's authenticity, rawness, and relatability. They find the book healing and empowering, with its message of healthy relationships. Customers describe the book as a must-read for everyone and a lighthouse for emotional maturity.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book insightful and empowering. They appreciate the real truths shared and find it helpful for personal growth. The advice is thought-provoking and helps rationalize issues. Overall, readers consider it a valuable resource that has changed their lives in positive ways.
"...This book has become a vital resource in my personal growth journey, and I can't recommend it highly enough for anyone looking to cultivate..." Read more
"Very encouraging book that helps you manage healthy mindsets within negative relationships...." Read more
"...The scriptures and stories are also paired with advice from her counselor, who brings a psychological perspective to the table...." Read more
"...this book in conjunction with the workbook was clariyfing and empowering. I'm still on my boundary setting journey, but I have gotten a lot better...." Read more
Customers appreciate the book's honest and practical approach to establishing healthy boundaries. They find it helpful for learning how to set and maintain healthy boundaries, recognizing the need for them, and living a godly life with strong boundaries. The book provides useful information on different types of boundaries that people may need.
"...Lisa offers practical and simple ways to establish better boundaries with people who don’t always have the best interest at heart...." Read more
"...It’s definitely taut me how to set boundaries and when to cut ties with people and how to love from a distance if need be…" Read more
"Good book on boundary setting." Read more
"Amazing book to learn boundaries, how to set them, when to set them. Or when to say goodbye. Such a strong writer!!" Read more
Customers appreciate the author's writing style. They find it well-written, easy to read, and refreshing. The author is honest and clear, with a scriptural backing. Readers recommend this book as a faith-based read for recovering people-pleasers.
"...Each chapter is filled with real-life examples and actionable steps that empower you to navigate tough situations with confidence...." Read more
"...It’s an easy read. There is also an audio version. I purchased the workbook also." Read more
"...And all of it is framed with grace for the individual reader and encouragement to not give up on working through such difficult topics." Read more
"Such an amazing book! Get the Bible study too! I love the author and how she is Biblically based!!" Read more
Customers appreciate the author's authenticity and honesty. They find her relatable and true, using real-life experiences to show what healthy boundaries look like. The book is biblically grounded, candid, and has solid scriptural underpinnings.
"...The author's guidance on setting healthy boundaries is practical and relatable, making it easy to implement in everyday life...." Read more
"...the mind of God and His way for relationships, Her transparency and honesty brought many tears to my eyes as I read this book...." Read more
"...Thank you Lisa for your AUTHENTICITY and COURAGE to bear your heart in this book for the benefit of your readers to glean from your struggles...." Read more
"...I feel as though Lysa is talking about my real life experiences...." Read more
Customers find the book helpful for healing. They appreciate the author's compassion and kindness, as well as her hope for dealing with toxic relationships. The book offers tender grace and compassion, which increases their respect and love for the author.
"...I can't recommend it highly enough for anyone looking to cultivate healthier connections while preserving their identity. A definitive 5-star read!" Read more
"...Theres just so much info. That you Lysa for your kindness and compassion!" Read more
"...Filled with tender grace & compassion in dealing with difficult or sometimes impossible relationships...." Read more
"...Her vulnerability and honesty is soothing as well as increases my respect and love for her...." Read more
Customers find the book relatable and helpful for relationships and emotional maturity. They say it's like a lighthouse that points the way. The book is recommended for summer reading for Sunday school classes and needs to be read by all women.
"Such a wonderful book for healing and walking through the good and sad parts of life with good Godly boundaries." Read more
"...Thank you Lysa for sharing your love, pain & process in living through, learning to discern, developing healthier ways to deal with the unbearable..." Read more
"This is our Summer read for Sunday school class. I ordered the book & received it the next day. Prime works for me. I like the author." Read more
"...You are changing lives for so many women! This book needs to be read by all women, young and old! Thank you for what you do!!!! Blessings!" Read more
Customers appreciate the author's transparency and honesty. They find the book relatable and easy to read. The author offers clarity and practical advice.
"...but she brings the mind of God and His way for relationships, Her transparency and honesty brought many tears to my eyes as I read this book...." Read more
"...I found this Book to be very transparent and vulnerable - grittier than her prior writing...." Read more
"Author is honest and clear. Excellent book!" Read more
"...It is personal, practical, and biblical. It’s transparent, therapeutic, and validating. It’s one to reread every couple of years as a reminder." Read more
Customers appreciate the audiobook. They find it engaging and authentic, with a genuine voice. The book is biblically sound, with helpful videos, podcasts, and collaborations with therapists and theologians. Readers appreciate the concise comments at the end of each chapter that help them speak up for themselves without frustration or hurtful feelings.
"...It’s an easy read. There is also an audio version. I purchased the workbook also." Read more
"...The concepts may seem simple but are communicated in a way you can more thoroughly understand... even if you thought you knew beforehand." Read more
"Love all the valuable, concise comments at the end of each chapter. Chocked full of great advice. Easy read…very thought provoking!" Read more
"...This book was so timely for me. I listened to it from my library (audiobook is great!) and then bought a hard copy to reread when I need a refresher." Read more
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Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on December 6, 2024I have been using "Good Boundaries and Goodbyes" for over a year now, and it has truly transformed my approach to relationships. This book offers profound insights into how to love others without compromising my own well-being.
The author's guidance on setting healthy boundaries is practical and relatable, making it easy to implement in everyday life. Each chapter is filled with real-life examples and actionable steps that empower you to navigate tough situations with confidence.
I found the emphasis on self-care refreshing and necessary. It’s a reminder that prioritizing oneself is not selfish but essential for maintaining healthy and fulfilling relationships. This book has become a vital resource in my personal growth journey, and I can't recommend it highly enough for anyone looking to cultivate healthier connections while preserving their identity. A definitive 5-star read!
- Reviewed in the United States on February 6, 2025Very encouraging book that helps you manage healthy mindsets within negative relationships. Lisa offers practical and simple ways to establish better boundaries with people who don’t always have the best interest at heart. She also helps you realize how to lower your expectations with certain people. In doing so our boundaries don’t stay past what someone else can give to us. It’s an easy read. There is also an audio version. I purchased the workbook also.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 21, 2025Throughout my life, I’ve read many different non-fiction books that are attempting address difficult topics. But I’ve never read one that so clearly depicted the struggle of knowing when it is time to say goodbye to a toxic relationship. This is a topic that so often stays within the realm of marriage or workplace; but in her book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes by Lysa Terkeurst, the author takes time to address what this looks like within the friendship context as well.
She tackles the lies that so many Christians believe such as “boundaries are selfish” or “I can’t give up on a relationship because that isn’t what Jesus would do”. There were times as I read that I felt God speaking so clearly right to my heart about lies I’d believed for many years. I think that most people can relate to the struggle of knowing when it’s time to give grace and when it’s time to stand up for oneself; so this book will certainly appeal to believers in all walks of life.
The progression of the book flowed from the Biblical basis for boundaries to how they can be set practically in every day situations to recognizing when it’s time to step away from a relationship. Terkeurst shares her deeply personal experiences along each step of the way and shows how God can bring beauty from even the most difficult circumstances. The scriptures and stories are also paired with advice from her counselor, who brings a psychological perspective to the table. And all of it is framed with grace for the individual reader and encouragement to not give up on working through such difficult topics.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 14, 2025My counselor recommended this and at first I thought it was silly. Completing this book in conjunction with the workbook was clariyfing and empowering. I'm still on my boundary setting journey, but I have gotten a lot better. The concepts may seem simple but are communicated in a way you can more thoroughly understand... even if you thought you knew beforehand.
- Reviewed in the United States on February 3, 2025Such an amazing book! Get the Bible study too! I love the author and how she is Biblically based!!
- Reviewed in the United States on November 3, 2024this book was encouraging to me as i was going through a difficult friendship. after reading the book i tried to implement good boundaries, which ended up with a good good bye on my part and a bad goodbye on the part of the friend. but i know the boundaries were placed in love for myself and her and was greatly encouraged by Lisa's words. thank you for your help in that difficult season.
- Reviewed in the United States on June 12, 2024This was a topic I was wanting to know more about. I had meant to read up on it, and had some info here and there, but this book gave me some good foundations on what healthy boundaries are and what they aren't.
It helped me pray through some boundary issues I had and helped me recognize what was for me to take on (from other people) and what to let go and let them deal with and carry to Jesus.
I am sure I will be coming back to this book to refresh. The way Lysa wrote it, it felt easy and not too much academic, but more down to earth and relatable info. it was just what I needed the season I read it.
Thank you Lysa and team! Such a helpful book!
- Reviewed in the United States on February 5, 2025Great insight into a Christian woman's struggle in a marriage where her spouse experiences various bouts of addiction (the specific addiction isn't mentioned). To be in close relationship with such a person actually proves extremely difficult, especially when their choices negatively impact your household's finances, children, your own health, etc.
It's very easy when you're unmarried (or married to a spouse with no addictions) to say, "Oh just pray" or "You gotta endure" or "JUST DON'T DIVORCE." It's much more difficult to empathize with people in Lysa's situation. Please read with compassion and an open mind. I appreciate her story. May God bring healing and deliverance.
Top reviews from other countries
- MbReviewed in Canada on July 21, 2023
5.0 out of 5 stars Incredible Truth
From the first page to the very last,, it's truth, and it's liberating. It's biblically backed and must read for everyone as at some point or another we have had the need to draw a boundary with someone in our lives.
Well Done!!
- lee malinReviewed in the United Kingdom on November 11, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing
Love her collection
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DasbinichReviewed in Germany on April 13, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars Danke!
Normalerweise schreibe ich keine Rezensionen.
Hier will ich der Autorin aber ein großes Danke aussprechen für die klaren und wohltuenden Worte:
Immer mit dem Blick darauf, Grenzen zu setzen, um GUTES (Zusammen-)Leben zu ermöglichen.
- ShineLizReviewed in the Netherlands on February 23, 2024
5.0 out of 5 stars For the good read
I wish I had this book way long before. I take it with me every and just can not take my head out of not reading. I recommend woman to by Lisa book. What I love more is her taken us back to the basis with is God's Word.
ShineLizFor the good read
Reviewed in the Netherlands on February 23, 2024
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natReviewed in France on December 6, 2022
5.0 out of 5 stars Juste ce dont j'avais besoin!
Quelle clairvoyance et quelle
sensibilité! Plus que des conseils, c'est un accompagnement dans notre processus de guérison. Merci!
God bless you.