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Debbie Gail Zane
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Finding Peace and Purpose amidst the Tears: My Journey of the Love and Loss of My Son through His Mental Illness and Addiction Paperback – May 2, 2023

by Debbie Gail Zane (Author)
4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 12 ratings
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Debbie Gail Zane's life changed forever when she received a telephone call informing her that her twenty-six-year-old son, Alex, had been found dead. Just nine years before, he had been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and begun using drugs. Throughout his battle with mental illness and addiction, she discovered how to find peace in her life and love him and herself during the many challenges.
In Finding Peace and Purpose amidst the Tears, she shares the many difficulties she experienced with her son's mental illness and addiction, as well as how she supported him, fought for him, and loved him through his journey. Zane tells how, at times, her life felt consumed by his hospital visits, treatment center stays, drug use, and battles about his treatment. Despite the challenges, they maintained a loving relationship and she connected with her own love, compassion, and understanding and found a path to peace.
Zane chronicles her story of love and loss to help parents on a similar journey feel they're not alone, offering hope for peace and healing. It helps others understand how to navigate their challenges with love and compassion and how to continue loving their child and themselves through it all, providing inspiration to go on after tragic loss.
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Previous page
  1. Print length
    188 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    May 2, 2023
  4. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.47 x 8.5 inches
  5. ISBN-13
    979-8765239179
  6. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review


"In her book Finding Peace and Purpose Amidst the Tears, Debbie Gail Zane discusses the heartbreaking reality for caregivers who struggle to help children who suffer from mental illness and/or addiction. The author covers her journey with her son Alex in three parts. The first section recalls Alex's death and experiences as a teen just before and when he was diagnosed with a schizoaffective disorder. The second part details Alex's drug and alcohol abuse in his young adult years as he resorted to substances to help him cope with his condition. As he dealt with diabetes and other medical conditions, Alex found a haven in religion and reached out to his mother often to let her know he was okay. In the third section, the author shares her grief and healing as she discovers a purpose.

Debbie Gail Zane has written a beautiful tribute to her son that will resonate with caregivers in similar situations. Whether readers are trying to help their suffering children or grieving over their treasured ones, her book will serve as a warm reminder that they are not alone. It's difficult to watch once happy children and teens suffer from the effects of a mental illness or addiction, and Zane speaks about the grief of losing the hopes and dreams that they may have held for them. The author relives her pain and uncertainty but communicates hope and understanding to anyone in a similar situation. Finding Peace and Purpose Amidst the Tears is a great choice for anyone trying to help someone battle a mental health issue or who has lost a child to addiction"
-Courtnee Turner Hoyle for Readers' Favorite

"Finding Peace and Purpose Amidst the Tears: My Journey of the Love and Loss of My Son Through His Mental Illness and Addiction by Debbie Gail Zane reflects on a journey that began when her son was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Alex started using drugs. Debbie passionately defended her son and supported him through his most trying moments until his eventual death. Debbie painted an accurate image of what it is like to be the parent of a mentally ill son who also struggles with addiction to alcohol and drugs. Debbie maintained a strong relationship with her son through all of it, despite the challenges. Debbie described how at times her life felt completely taken over by Alex's hospital appointments and his stays at treatment facilities. Debbie's life changed forever after the call came notifying her about Alex's death.

Finding Peace and Purpose Amidst the Tears by Debbie Gail Zane is heartbreaking and inspiring. I respect Debbie for her courage in sharing this story so soon after her child passed away to support other parents who are going through a similar situation. The nine years covered in this book are filled with heartache, hardship, persistence, and grief. After reading Debbie's experience, anyone who questions the seriousness of mental illness or doesn't think that it is a medical disease will change their opinion. I recommend this moving story to any parent who has lost a child or is battling with their child because of a mental illness or addiction."
-Alma Boucher for Readers' Favorite

"Finding Peace and Purpose Amidst the Tears: My Journey of the Love and Loss of My Son Through His Mental Illness and Addiction by Debbie Gail Zane is a heartrending, brutally honest, and tremendously selfless and compassionate chronicle of the author's struggle to come to terms with the untimely death of her son Alex after a protracted battle with drug addiction and schizoaffective disorder. As we follow Debbie through her roller-coaster experience, essential concepts such as acceptance, forgiveness, and self-love figure significantly in the narrative, allowing us to experience her journey personally and with devastating but ultimately edifying intimacy.

This book is a powerful testimonial in support of the idea that those among us who suffer from the pain and isolation of incomprehensible loss are not alone. The message is both transformative and freeing and would stand alone as a compelling reason to read the book if not for the sterling quality of Debbie's impassioned narrative, which scores direct hit upon direct hit emotionally and psychologically without ever indulging in the merest moment the noisome self-pity that mars many similar accounts.

Finding Peace and Purpose Amidst the Tears by Debbie Gail Zane does not offer any miracle solutions, easy fixes, or so much as a hint of much-sought-after resolution in the wake of unspeakable tragedy; rather, it provides the kind of unwavering honesty and courage that, against all odds, comforts and heals. Whether you are experiencing the pain of loss or trying to understand the pain of loved ones facing the journey, this book will surely prove to be a tremendous help and invaluable resource that you will return to time and time again for comfort and guidance."
- Rich Follett for Readers' Favorite

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0C2S47P19
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Balboa Press (May 2, 2023)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 188 pages
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 979-8765239179
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8.8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.47 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 12 ratings

About the author

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Debbie Gail Zane

Debbie Gail Zane

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Debbie always knew she wanted to contribute to other people’s lives in a meaningful way. Little did she know that tragedy could hold a gift that would reveal her highest purpose. After losing her beloved son to mental illness and addiction, Debbie transformed her life by turning her pain into her purpose of helping other parents of teens and adults struggling with mental illness and/or addiction. Through finding her calling, she was able to find healing for herself.

Debbie’s story of love and loss includes raising three children as a single mom, her oldest son being diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and becoming addicted to drugs and alcohol, and losing him when he was twenty-six. She has been through challenges with her oldest son’s mental illness and addiction, and she supported him, fought for him, and loved him through his journey. She is grateful that she had a close relationship with her son, and every day she cherishes her memories with him.

Throughout her journey, she sought to turn her pain into serving others. This motivated her to receive training as a life and relationship coach to help others. She received certification as an advanced relationship coach from the Center for Strategic Intervention, a certificate as a practitioner of excellence for completion of Strategic Intervention Boot Camp Training through the Center for Strategic Intervention, certification as a practitioner of excellence in Sapphire Level Boot Camp Strategies with the Coaching Institute, and a certification as an Activation Method group coach. Strategic Intervention was founded by Cloe Madanes, Mark and Magali Peysha, and Tony Robbins. She is passionate about using what she learned in her training and her own life experience to help parents of teen/adult children with mental illness and addiction reclaim peace and a loving relationship.

Another way Debbie supported others was through service in the Alanon community. She has chaired meetings, sponsored members in the program, been a group representative, and volunteered at Alanon events.

Debbie holds a Juris Doctor from the University of Baltimore School of Law and an LLM from the American University Washington College of Law. She has worked as an estates and trusts attorney and is working as a trust officer administering trusts and estates, including special needs trusts.

Debbie lives in Virginia. She loves spending time with her twenty-four-year-old daughter and twenty-six-year-old son, reading, writing, meditation, learning, and living a healthy lifestyle.

To learn more, go to https://www.debbiegailzane.com/

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
12 global ratings
Superb Memoir
5 Stars
Superb Memoir
I read this book in less than two days. This book is a must read for anyone experiencing loss of a loved one from mental illness, addiction or both. This powerful story gives you hope in the most hopeless of circumstances. I will be buying a copy of this book to share with my local NAMI in their lending library.
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Top reviews from the United States

Check Mate
5.0 out of 5 stars Took Me a day and a half to read!
Reviewed in the United States on July 4, 2023
Verified Purchase
What a rollercoaster read from this working single Mother of three, and the painful experiences to watch her son go through yet be as supportive as possible. I can relate being a single Mom and losing my Son and only child on June 12, 2022 at the age of 27, of a Drug Induced Homicide, from the drug (s) that are killing out children and family members of all walks of life. His case was never investigated due to lack of evidence that was removed, tampering of evidence which by law is illegal. He left behind his Son and only biological child who had just turned 3 years old that May 3, 2022, I am at a loss of where to even begin to get justice for my Son. While the EMT's who worked on my Son, the detective never asked his emergency contact, his family, etc. It was as I was nonexistent. I couldn't get to him due to a bad car accident at the end of March where I had to be life flight to Vanderbilt Medical Center for multiple spinal injuries. So I didn't have my car that was a total loss and restricted to a C-collar, 24/7 and a full spinal back brace He had mental heath issues and was placed in Special-Ed wih an IEP early on in school which made him stand out even more, nerve damage to his left ear that I noticed when he was 2 shortly after going through a messy divorce taking 2 years due to custody. I guess everyone thought of me as a helicopter mom. He was my entire world, and the day he left this earth, I died with him. I hemorrhage after a scheduled C-Section, delivery went without a hitch but while they checked him out as the were working on me is when everything began to spiral out of control. I was able to see him for a second before rushed to emergency surgery where I received a blood transfusion, and a partial hysterectomy. Fast forward he too self medicated after taken of his medication because he failed a drug test at his doctor's appointment, one you are weened off. They couldn't put him back on the medication due him using Marijuana and he later told me other drugs he'd tried. I was both terrified but also glad that he felt that he too could confide in me. He was in middle school when he started getting into trouble, went to juvenile, and then was arrested a few times, all due to Marijuana and/or paraphernalia. After the long drawn out divorce and thousands of dollars spent on attorney's fees his Dad wasn't present in his life which was also troubling for him. He would ask why he wasn't good enough. I responded the only way I knew to...I believe your Dad loves you in the only capacity he knows how but don't you EVER THINK YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH! NOT PERFECT but remember what I've always told you, YOU have a Heavenly Father that loves YOU unconditionally!! He fought those demons his whole life that I blame myself for the Trauma of the divorce and that I wasn't able to get him help getting back on his medication. Thank you for sharing your story and the excruciating pain from losing your child. I wished I could have done more in hindsight but he never wanted me to know according to others that did and kept it from me. 378 days have passed and I'm still stuck in my grief even more now it seems. I see my Grandson which helps but other times it's painful because he looks like his Dad and always asks me, " Did my Dad do this or that?" Just this past week after saying our prayers, and a Bible story we ly in bed and talk. He asked me, "Gram, how did my Dad die?" My response was, "I don't think it's a good time to talk about that now" He kissed me, said he loved me SO MUCH, have sweet dreams, and ALWAYS asks me to hold his hand. After he fell asleep, I went into my Prayer Room (my Son's closet in his old room, that I set up prior to his death) and sobbed into a pillow. My Son My World-Forever 27
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Linda
5.0 out of 5 stars Riveting Memoir
Reviewed in the United States on May 10, 2023
Verified Purchase
It took me only 2 days to read this book, as I could not put it down. I am not a parent, but I have an interest in mental health due to my Psychology degree and my own issues with anxiety and depression.

I admire the Author's vulnerability in writing this memoir so recently after the death of her son in order to help other parents who may be going through something similar. Her story is heartbreaking, but at the same time, she manages to find the positive through her deep spirituality and positive thoughts. I loved that she felt her son communicate with her right after his passing, through her dog. I have had similar experiences to this with loved ones and it made me smile and reflect.

I would recommend this moving memoir to any parent who has lost a child, or is struggling with their child due to mental disorder and / or addiction. I would also recommend to anyone in the mental health industry to help gain understanding in parents and families of patients.
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Barbara
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read!
Reviewed in the United States on May 10, 2023
Verified Purchase
This memoir most definitely deserves five stars. It grabbed my attention from the onset and held it throughout the book. It is extremely well written and is written from the heart. Throughout, I was able to empathize with the author as she presented a very clear picture of how it feels to be a parent of a mentally ill son who also suffers from alcohol and drug addiction. What most impressed me was how Ms Zane was able to deal with her overwhelming trials and tribulations with an abundance of love, patience, resilience, and understanding. The book was beautifully written and is sure to become a hit especially among parents who have lost a loved one. I recommended most highly.
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Leann Woolley
5.0 out of 5 stars Practical tips for those dealing with mental illness and addiction
Reviewed in the United States on May 24, 2023
Verified Purchase
This book takes the reader on a nine year journey through heartbreak, struggle, tenacity and sorrow. Anyone who doubts the severity of mental illness or who doesn’t believe that it is a medical condition will change their minds after reading Debbie’s story. The toll mental illness takes on a person and their family is gut wrenching. Debbie bravely stood by her son’s side and fought for him, loving him through the toughest of times and ultimately through his death. Anyone experiencing a loved one with mental health issues or addiction will identify with the practical tips she offers to those in the trenches.
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Priscilla H
5.0 out of 5 stars Beautifully Written Book
Reviewed in the United States on February 2, 2024
This is such a beautifully written book. I felt both Debbie’s pain and power. Losing a child is extremely traumatic. Debbie’s strength in finding her way back from this traumatic experience is admirable. She is such an inspiration to parents who have lost a child. This book also contains resources on where people may be able to find help for themselves and their children. Highly recommend this book.
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Christina Hoos
5.0 out of 5 stars Superb Memoir
Reviewed in the United States on January 7, 2024
I read this book in less than two days. This book is a must read for anyone experiencing loss of a loved one from mental illness, addiction or both. This powerful story gives you hope in the most hopeless of circumstances. I will be buying a copy of this book to share with my local NAMI in their lending library.
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Christina Hoos
5.0 out of 5 stars Superb Memoir
Reviewed in the United States on January 7, 2024
I read this book in less than two days. This book is a must read for anyone experiencing loss of a loved one from mental illness, addiction or both. This powerful story gives you hope in the most hopeless of circumstances. I will be buying a copy of this book to share with my local NAMI in their lending library.
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Cynthia Cowles
4.0 out of 5 stars The hard addiction journey
Reviewed in the United States on June 19, 2023
Loved the book. Have not lost my son but, the journey and desperation of a parent dealing with addiction is as Debbie wrote. Very emotional read.
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Mari
5.0 out of 5 stars 100 percent 5 Stars
Reviewed in the United States on May 11, 2023
This is a must read and sure to touch hearts and resonate souls with those who have loved ones struggling with mental illness and drug addiction. The author is able to share her story in a way to bring light on the difficulties, pain and loss to a community where some feel alone , isolated and shame. It is well written and I’m impressed with the timing and ways the author has navigated with love patience and strength in the midst of heartbreak. The authors skills and experience are a unique and powerful tool and calling which will surely bring healing and hope to many who face the challenges and pain dealing with loved ones, particularly children who have mental illness and drug addiction.
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