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Positivity: Top-Notch Research Reveals the 3-to-1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life Paperback – December 29, 2009
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You’ll discover:
• What positivity is, and why it needs to be heartfelt to be effective
• The ten sometimes surprising forms of positivity
• Why positivity is more important than happiness
• That your own sources of positivity are unique and how to tap into them
• How to calculate your current positivity ratio, track it, and improve it
With Positivity, you’ll learn to see new possibilities, bounce back from setbacks, connect with others, and become the best version of yourself.
- Print length288 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherHarmony
- Publication dateDecember 29, 2009
- Dimensions5.17 x 0.58 x 7.95 inches
- ISBN-100307393747
- ISBN-13978-0307393746
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Editorial Reviews
Review
—Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Ph.D., author of Flow
"Positively wonderful! Offers surefire methods for transforming our lives from so-so to joyous." - Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence
"Positivity is literally the feel-good book of the year, providing a scientifically sound prescription for joy, health, and creativity. Read one to two chapters daily as needed or until grumpiness subsides."
—Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology, Harvard University, and author of Stumbling on Happiness
"Barbara Fredrickson is the genius of the positive psychology movement." - Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D., author of Authentic Happiness
About the Author
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Waking Up to Positivity
One’s own self is well hidden from one’s own self:
Of all mines of treasure, one’s own is the last to be dug up.
—Friedrich Nietzsche
TAKE 1
The morning sun streams through your bedroom window and wakes you from a fitful night’s sleep. After a long string of gray and rainy days, you appreciate seeing blue sky. But soon enough you realize the alarm didn’t go off. You’re disappointed because you’ve been meaning to wake up extra early so you can have time to yourself before the kids wake up and the morning race begins. With what little time there is, you decide to skip your planned exercise routine, spend some more time in bed, and write in your journal. You write,
I can’t believe I let myself down again by forgetting to set my alarm. How am I ever going to take charge of my days (and my
life!) if I can’t make this simple change? Without exercise, I’m going to feel like a slug today. Ugh. I’d better focus on why I write in this journal in the first place: to think about my larger goals and connect them to what I do each day. Is this really working? Is it worth my time when I could be sleeping? What I really should be doing with this extra time is checking for fires on e- mail or reviewing my ridiculously long to- do list. Isn’t our water bill past due? Where is it anyway?
At this point you close your journal, get out of bed, go to your computer, and open your e- mail. Sure enough, you find that your co- worker, Sharon, needs input from you before she can submit her proposal, and she needs it by this afternoon. You’ll be stuck spending at least part of your morning preparing forms for her. Feeling angry at her imposition, you open the next e-mail to see that the project you spearheaded received preliminary approval and you’ve got forty- eight hours to make a final set of revisions. “ Fortyeight hours!” you say out loud. “Am I supposed to drop everything to make these revisions?” How am I going to fit this in?” The nanosecond of joy you felt on learning the good news is squashed by your concerns about clearing this last hurdle.
Just then, your daughter, who’s nearly four years old, wakes up and calls, “Mommy!” You glance at the time: 6:42. You’ve told her time and again to wait quietly in her room until you come in for hugs and kisses at seven, and here she is, not listening, again. Your frustration is growing— far too many demands both at work and at home. Nobody understands how impossible your life has become with this career shift. You go to your daughter’s room, snap at her
about calling for you early, and then march off to make breakfast.
The whole morning is a grim race, and everybody’s losing. You’d have been out the door on time had your seven- year- old son not misplaced his favorite shoes. Then starts the parental nagging: “Why can’t you just wear a different pair!? If those shoes are so important to you, why don’t you keep better tabs on them?” Now all four of you— the kids, you, and your husband— are racing around the house trying to find those @#$% shoes!
Later, having dropped the children off at school— late again—you arrive at work— also late. The first person you see is Joe, your collaborator on the project that was just accepted. He’s smiling broadly. At times you appreciate Joe’s good spirits, but today his smile makes you suspicious. You think, He’s trying to butter me up so I’ll do all the revisions! He approaches. “Did you hear the news? We got the money! We’re set for the year!” You say, “Yeah, but did you see that list of revisions— and just forty- eight hours to make them? I’ve also got to deal with Sharon’s proposal this morning.” Joe’s smile fades as he takes a moment to figure out how to respond to your negativity.
***
Sound familiar? If you’re like most people, you probably recognize this kind of morning all too well: Can’t do anything right. Can’t give myself the time I need. Can’t stick with my goal of journaling. Can’t stand that Sharon is making her emergency my emergency. Can’t fathom how I’ll meet a forty- eight- hour revision deadline. Can’t get on the same page with Joe. Can’t even teach my kids to stay in bed until 7:00 a.m. Can’t get through the morning “race” without yelling and fussing. Can’t get the kids to school on time. And if I can’t get myself to work on time—how in the world am I going to meet all these demands?
We all know negativity; it looms large and is easy to spot. Negativity pervades your self- talk and your judgments. It bleeds into your exchanges with your kids and your colleagues, eroding goodwill between you. Making matters worse, unchecked negativity breeds healthdamaging negative emotions— anger, contempt, and depression— that seep into your entire body. You can feel your simmering bitterness eating away at your stomach, raising your blood pressure, and turning your shoulder and neck muscles to stone. Even your face feels hard and tight, which may be why others steer clear if they can. What’s more, you move through your day as if you have blinders on. You find fault and blame everywhere. You see no solutions. Everything is painfully predictable. Negativity comes on fast and strong, hitting like a sledgehammer. And none of us is immune to it.
So what about positivity? Compared to negativity, positivity seems pale and weak. It’s hardly the mirror image of negativity. Positivity seems so puny that at times we don’t even notice it.
But what if positivity matters?
And what is positivity anyway?
Let’s start with what it isn’t. Positivity doesn’t mean we should follow the axioms “Grin and bear it” or “Don’t worry, be happy.” Those are simply superficial wishes. Positivity runs deeper. It consists of the whole range of positive emotions— from appreciation to love, from amusement to joy, from hope to gratitude, and then some. The term is
purposely broad. It includes the positive meanings and optimistic attitudes that trigger positive emotions as well as the open minds, tender hearts, relaxed limbs, and soft faces they usher in. It even includes the long- term impact that positive emotions have on your character, relationships, communities, and environment. Although some of this may sound like the vocabulary of greeting cards, the term positivity points to vital human moments that have now captured the interest of science. And the new scientific discoveries about the importance of positivity are stunning.
Your mild and fleeting pleasant states are far more potent than you think. We know now that they alter your mind and body in ways that can literally help you create your best life.
So let’s roll back time and do a retake on that same morning of yours, this time with positivity. Rest assured that no matter how good you are at negativity, you’re also capable of positivity. As you read, keep in mind that, like negativity, positivity goes beyond self- talk. Although subtle, it too infuses your mindscape and outlook, heart rhythms and body chemistry, muscle tension and facial expressions, and your resources and relationships.
Product details
- Publisher : Harmony; 1st edition (December 29, 2009)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 288 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0307393747
- ISBN-13 : 978-0307393746
- Item Weight : 7.2 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.17 x 0.58 x 7.95 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #45,348 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #128 in Emotional Mental Health
- #751 in Happiness Self-Help
- #1,251 in Personal Transformation Self-Help
- Customer Reviews:
About the authors
Barbara L. Fredrickson, PH.D., is Kenan Distinguished Professor of Psychology and principal investigator of the Positive Emotion and Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She is a leading scholar within social psychology, affective science, and positive psychology.
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This book describes in an accessible and captivating way what the research by her and her colleagues has taught her about what positivity is and what is does. In her explanation of what positivity is, she mentions ten forms of positivity: joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe, and love. As to what positivity does, maybe it is best to start with six facts she mentions about positivity: 1) positivity feels good, 2) positivity changes how your mind works, 3) positivity transforms your future, 4) positivity puts the brakes on negativity, 5) positivity obeys a tipping point, 6) you can increase your positivity. A briefer way of describing what positivity amounts to is that it opens your mind and helps you get on a positive trajectory, an upward spiral. In other words: it makes you flourish. Flourishing is more than being happy. In Barbara Fredrickson's words: "Flourishing goes beyond happiness, or satisfaction with life. True, people who flourish are happy. But that's not the half of it. Beyond feeling good, they're also doing good -adding value to the world. People who flourish are highly engaged with their families, work, and communities."
But that is not the whole story. The effects of positivity are not simple and linear. Rather, they are subtle and non-linear. Human flourishing works like a nonlinear dynamic system. In nonlinear systems, there are one or more tipping points at which the properties of the system can suddenly change dramatically. An example of such a non-linear system with a tipping point is how ice melts at zero degrees Celsius. Consultant and researcher Marcial Losada has helped Barbara Fredrickson uncover a tipping point in the positivity ratio. The positivity ratio is the ratio of people's experiences of positive to negative emotions. Fredrickson's and Losada's research show that there is a tipping point above which flourishing starts and below which it doesn't. This positivity ratio tipping point is 3-1. When there are three times or more as many positive experiences than negative ones, flourishing will start with all of its beneficial consequences. There also turns out to be a second tipping point, by the way, of 11-1, which is the upper bound of flourishing. Above this upper bound it seems that there is too much positivity. In other words, there will always remain a useful role for some negativity. Fredrickson has found that most people have more positive than negative experiences but are below the 3-1 tipping point. Fortunately, there are many known ways to raise your positivity (many of them are described in the book) so that flourishing is attainable for anyone.
I can hardly say how impressed I am with this book. This book presents the best that positive psychology has to offer. The writing is very clear and pleasant. At the same time, everything that is being written is linked to scientific findings (which are mentioned explicitly). My suggestion is: do yourself a favor and buy yourself this book.
On the cover of Positivity, Martin declares Barbara Frederickson, "the genius of the positive psychology movement." Barbara defines "positivity" as "the whole range of positive emotions -- from appreciation to love, from amusement to joy, from hope to gratitude...although some of this may sound like the vocabulary of greeting cards, the term positivity points to vital human moments that have now captured the interests of science. And the new scientific discoveries about the importance of positivity are stunning."
What's especially compelling about the genre of positive psychology books is that they are not just giving us warmed over platitudes or emotional stories on positive thinking. Positivity is grounded in solid research while being very easy to read and chocked full of practical and very useful how-to advice. In her first chapter, Barbara presents key six points she labels as facts and then provides deep research throughout the book to support them:
Fact 1: Positivity feels good
Fact 2: Positivity changes how your mind woks
Fact 3: Positivity transforms your future
Fact 4: Positivity puts the brakes on negativity
Fact 5: Positivity obeys a tipping point
Fact 6: You can increase your positivity.
In her chapter on "The Positivity Ratio" Barbara gives a detailed account of how she co-researched and co-developed a mathematical model showing that for "individuals, marriages, and business teams, flourishing -- or doing remarkably -- comes with positivity ratios above 3 to 1." She defines our positivity ratio as the amount of heartfelt positivity we feel relative to our heart-wrenching negativity. "Stated formally, your positivity ratio is your frequency of positivity over any given time span, divided by your frequency of negativity over that same time span."
The second part of the book is all about raising our positivity ratio. It starts with a Positivity Self Test. You can take the test online at[...]. This is followed with two excellent chapters on improving our positivity ratio through decreasing negativity and increasing positivity. Here Barbara helps readers apply the highly successful and well researched applications from the rapidly growing field of Cognitive -Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The last chapter, "A New Toolkit," provides 12 very concrete and useful techniques to permanently raise our ratio.
This is a very stimulating, practical, and useful book. I wish I'd found it in time to include in my latest book Growing @ the Speed of Change: Your Inspir-actional How-To Guide For Leading Yourself and Others through Constant Change
Top reviews from other countries
First she provides the evolutive origin of positive and negative emotions, as well as the scientific reasearch made by the author and other prominent psychologists (Daniel Kahnemann, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ed Diener, etc.) that suppports the benefits of cultivate positive emotions in our daily life.
In the second part she give the practical advice on how to cultivate positivity, of course, providing the same rigorous scientific basis as in the first part.
You can not resist the temptation to finish the book in one go and working for your transformation.