Buy used:
$13.44
Get Fast, Free Shipping with Amazon Prime
FREE delivery Friday, May 17 on orders shipped by Amazon over $35. Order within 14 hrs 50 mins
Used: Very Good | Details
Sold by J & C Collections
Fulfilled by Amazon
Condition: Used: Very Good
Comment: Small blemish on bottom right of dust cover. Pages are clean and overall in great shape.

Fulfillment by Amazon (FBA) is a service we offer sellers that lets them store their products in Amazon's fulfillment centers, and we directly pack, ship, and provide customer service for these products. Something we hope you'll especially enjoy: FBA items qualify for FREE Shipping and Amazon Prime.

If you're a seller, Fulfillment by Amazon can help you grow your business. Learn more about the program.

Access codes and supplements are not guaranteed with used items.
Kindle app logo image

Download the free Kindle app and start reading Kindle books instantly on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.

Read instantly on your browser with Kindle for Web.

Using your mobile phone camera - scan the code below and download the Kindle app.

QR code to download the Kindle App

Follow the author

Susan P. Halpern
+ Follow
More books from this author
Something went wrong. Please try your request again later.

The Etiquette of Illness: What to Say When You Can't Find the Words Hardcover – April 17, 2004

by Susan P. Halpern (Author)
4.1 4.1 out of 5 stars 146 ratings
See all formats and editions

What should I say when I hear that my friend has cancer? How can I help but not get in the way? How do I let my loved ones know what I need?
The Etiquette of Illness is a wise, encouraging, and essential guide to navigating the complex terrain of illness. This collection of anecdotes and insights will help those who feel awkward and unsure about responding to a friend, colleague, or relative who is suffering. The book is also for people who are ill and want to engage with their loved ones effectively. We read about a range of people who are dealing with chronic illness, doctor-patient communications, and end-of-life issues-and who are striving to find their way with awareness and compassion.
Drawing on her years of counseling people with serious illness, as well as her own experiences with cancer, Susan Halpern presents an insightful book of the utmost relevance for patients, their caregivers, and their family and friends - a group which will, at some point, include all of us.
Susan P. Halpern is a social worker and psychotherapist. She is the founder of the New York Cancer Help Program and a staff associate at the Commonweal Cancer Help Program. She lives with her husband, near their children and grandchildren in Berkeley, California. This is her first book.
The Etiquette of Illness is a finalist for the Books for a Better Life award.
The Etiquette of Illness is an An Amazon "Editor's Pick" for Best Book of the Year (2004).

Read more Read less
Previous page
  1. Print length
    256 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Bloomsbury USA
  4. Publication date
    April 17, 2004
  5. Dimensions
    6.14 x 1.03 x 7.43 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1582343837
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1582343839
  8. See all details
Next page
The Amazon Book Review
The Amazon Book Review
Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Halpern, a psychotherapist, social worker and founder of the New York Cancer Help Program, shares here her considerable expertise on how best to comfort a close friend, colleague or relation who is living with a serious physical or mental illness. Practical suggestions are illustrated by compelling stories from her professional life, as well as from her own experiences after being diagnosed with low-grade lymphoma in 1995. Rather than focusing on what precise terminology to use, Halpern believes that what we say depends on the individual, the relationship and one's own self-consciousness. So long as the words come from the heart, it is the expression of true compassionate feeling that will be remembered by the recipient. In calming, well-crafted prose the author addresses a number of particular situations including advising friends on the importance of connecting with a physician who knows how to listen and talk to patients, less conventional ways of communicating with those who are dying and ways to effectively assist the chronically ill. She recounts the example of one helpful woman who drops off cooked food for an ill friend, but only stays to chat if her company is welcome rather than tiring. Of particular interest to parents will be Halpern's insightful chapter on talking to children about serious illness and death, in ways that are both truthful and as reassuring as possible. First serial to O: The Oprah Magazine.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"Halpern ...shares here her considerable expertise...Practical suggestions are iillustrated by compelling stories from her professional life... in calming, well-crafted prose." -- Publishers Weekly

"Intensely personal and full of captivating stories, The Etiquette of Illness emmbeds practical advice in easily accessible prose." -- Christine K. Cassel, M.D., MACP, president of the American Board of Internal Med

"Practical and vastly compassionate. I recommend it to anyone who wants to visitt a seriously sick friend." -- Daniel Goleman

"This is the most helpful book for hard times that I have read in years." -- Bill Moyers

"This moving book has a message that shines with wisdom and hope. Susan's advicee is sound and useful." -- Andrew Weil, M.D.

"Valuable and gratifying...Susan Halpern gives us words when our own are most liikely to fail us." -- Jon Kabat-Zinn

"Wise, compassionate and very down-to-earth, this book illuminates our relationnship with illness and with each other." -- Joseph Goldstein

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Bloomsbury USA; 1st edition (April 17, 2004)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 256 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1582343837
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1582343839
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.4 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6.14 x 1.03 x 7.43 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.1 4.1 out of 5 stars 146 ratings

About the author

Follow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations.
Susan P. Halpern

Susan P. Halpern

Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.
Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

Discover more of the author’s books, see similar authors, read author blogs and more

Customer reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars
4.1 out of 5
146 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars This Book NEEDS to be Read!
Reviewed in the United States on February 2, 2013
Verified Purchase
As a woman LIVING with Late Stage Breast Cancer, I knew I had to read this book after finding out about it through "The End of Your Life Book Club" (a must-read for any who haven't read it yet!) I went to my sure-fire book spot, Amazon, and found it was no longer in print. No worries, I was able to procure a used copy for $6.97. Upon receipt, I was somewhat saddened to see the book I received had been disgarded by a library in North Carolina--surely a library would recognize the importance of having a book of this nature available? I found the book to be absolutely wonderful in so many different areas, and have recommended it to fellow patients, friends, relatives, co-workers--basically anyone who crosses my path. It is unfortunate that it cannot be easily procured, as it surely is a subject matter that NEEDS to be addressed in our society. Approximately 150,000 people in the U.S. will DIE of breast cancer this year--the onus is on all of us to learn the best ways in which to help and comfort all patients living with a "terminal" illness.
9 people found this helpful
Helpful
 Report
penny's from heaven
4.0 out of 5 stars Important book for tough situations
Reviewed in the United States on November 13, 2013
Verified Purchase
I needed this book to help me know what to say to a friend with cancer. I volunteered to sit with him and conversations could be stilted.

This book gave me some good tools. Written by an author who was gravely ill she tells what she and others need to hear or not hear when faced with their eminent death or having to cope with a loss of their health. The moral support
and the complexity of coping with how to get through the reality of their crisis given to you in this insightful book.

When you are in a situation where you need the right words this will be a good resource. She explains how to find out how you can be of the best service and ease the way for them.
The author shared her story and that of others about to leave this world and how we can help them on their terms.
5 people found this helpful
Helpful
 Report
Grammy
5.0 out of 5 stars What everyone should know but was afraid to ask
Reviewed in the United States on June 9, 2013
Verified Purchase
As a therapist and patient herself the author has a wealth of experience and insite into the delicate exchanges between the critically ill, their caregivers and friends and family who so deparately want to ease the patients suffering and fears. There is often conflict between those who need to show their love and those who need to receive it. It can be overwhelming for everyone. Halpern makes many helpful suggestions on how to approach discussions with the sick person and coaching for the sick when they need to express their concerns and ask for help. There is a wide range of human response to being sick as demonstrated by the examples of individuals she counsels and her personal experience.

I learned about this book shortly after my grandson was diagnosed with brain cancer. It has helped me understand his needs, and communicate with more ease. We all eventually will deal with the illness and loss of those we love and we want to give our best to them. This information makes it easier to do that.
4 people found this helpful
Helpful
 Report
D. Meyer
3.0 out of 5 stars Don't buy this book if you are a Christian. You will be sadly disappointed.
Reviewed in the United States on September 10, 2016
Verified Purchase
As a born again Christian I was disappointed to read so many glowing reviews of this book. Consider yourself warned, the author speaks of universal healing energy and the universal spirit. She also discusses a healing circle with an altar in the center. She's big on chanting and meditation. When she discusses prayer she mentions positive thoughts, saying thanks to the universe that brought us together. On page 135 she quotes Meg speaking to a paralyzed woman who wanted to die and Meg's answer was "That is always a choice." "Meg gave here the freedom to find her own way and live." But I thought to myself what if she had chosen to find her own way and kill herself? The book comes across as saying don't try to talk someone out of it. Susan speaks of reassuring children that illness is fate. On page 197 the author quotes from a PBS special of a terminally ill man keeping pills in a drawer so that he could choose when to die. The author does not condemn that behavior. This is a direct quote from the author: "Sometimes when I think of a sick friend, instead of worrying and tensing up, I will send him or her a prayer. Some of you may call it a positive thought." And I think to myself who are you praying to? The sick person? Why don't you just call on the power of Almighty God to heal your friend? The universe doesn't heal -- God does. Not once in the entire book does she mention Jesus Christ, the son of God. But she mentions prayer wheels, meditation, chanting, and positive thoughts etc quite often. I wanted to write a review that I wish I had read before I bought the book. It deals with cancer, terminal illness, hospice,chronic illness, mental illness and more. I cannot imagine facing any of these without a firm faith in a loving God who promises us an eternal life of bliss after this hard, hard life is over if we just put our faith in His son Jesus and repent of our sins.
4 people found this helpful
Helpful
 Report
Patricia
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful Insights into how to be supportive to those facing Illness/Death
Reviewed in the United States on August 13, 2012
Verified Purchase
This is really a wonderful book. It gives guidance and case studies from all ends of the spectrum for those facing illness or death in themselves or in those around them. It can be read straight through or one can browse just those areas that are most helpful at the moment. I read it on the Kindle but found it so helpful that I have since bought two hard copies to give away to friends in difficult straights and they have raved about it. I expect to buy more copies. The chapters range from "Finding the Words" when someone you know is very ill, to "Talking to Children about Illness and Death", to dealing with "Chronic Illness" and the "End of Life". There is something for everyone in this book and I highly recommend it even if you are fortunate enough to not be currently facing such grave issues among your family and friends. This book will prepare you on the best ways to show compassion and be helpful when it does happen to someone you know.
12 people found this helpful
Helpful
 Report

Top reviews from other countries

Translate all reviews to English
natali pasqual
5.0 out of 5 stars A doença do outro
Reviewed in Brazil on March 25, 2016
Verified Purchase
Este livro deveria ser traduzido para o português ! Apresenta uma ótima compreensão sobre o "outro ", doente . Excelentes exemplos de insights e dicas para como abordar outra pessoa que esteja passando por momento de dor!
Report
Karey Ann Welliver
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow
Reviewed in Canada on September 15, 2013
Verified Purchase
This book got to the heart of the matter about dealing with caring for the ill but also about being ill as well. I have an illness but I am also a care giver for some one with an illness. This book gives information that I being on both sides of careing for and being ill really needed to hear. I have thanks to this book been able to put aside some of the things that have been bothering me and understand why people do and say what they do sometimes.
3 people found this helpful
 Report