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The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief Paperback – September 15, 2015

by Francis Weller (Author), Michael Lerner (Foreword)
4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 1,194 ratings
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"It blew me away. I underlined things on nearly every page." —Anderson Cooper, All There Is

The Wild Edge of Sorrow offers hope and healing for a profoundly fractured world—and a pathway home to the brightness, pains, and gifts of being alive.

Introducing the 5 gates of grief, psychotherapist Francis Weller explores how we move through the waters of grief and loss in a culture so fundamentally detached from the needs of the soul.

• The first gate recognizes—and invites us to accept—the painful truth that everything we love, we will lose. With this acceptance comes beauty and responsibility—and an openness into which we can pour the full love of our hearts. At the first gate, we meet the sorrow of losing a loved one; the grief of illness; and the unique and profound pains that accompany loss by suicide.

• The second gate helps us uncover and tend to the places that have not known love: the neglected pieces of our soul that need restoration and care. These “places” can be our secret shames, or the parts of us that we feel are undeserving of love. At the second gate, we face our shadows and heal our most tender wounds.

• The third gate meets us at the sorrows of the world, inviting us to open to the grave pain of our planet: the destruction of ecosystems, the harms of extractive capitalism, the unfathomable pain of war and occupation. We learn to honor and hold this grief even as we move through it, recommitting ourselves to the actions our souls call upon us to perform in service of healing and renewal.

• The fourth gate, what we expected but did not receive, is present in each and every one of our lives. We may need love from a parent or partner unable to give it; we may lack the language to ask for the care we deserve. Each is a loss that must be acknowledged and grieved to move toward wholeness.

• The fifth gate opens to our ancestral grief: the traumas, pains, losses, and unrealized dreams of those who came before us. Weller invites us to reconnect to our bodies, our communities, and the ancestral knowledge we hold in our bones...but may have forgotten.

Profoundly moving, beautifully written, this book is a balm for the soul and a necessary salve for moving together through difficult times. Grounded in ritual and connection, The Wild Edge of Sorrow welcomes each grief with care and attention, opening us to the feelings, experiences, and sacred knowledge that connect us to each other and ultimately make us whole.
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  1. Print length
    224 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    North Atlantic Books
  4. Publication date
    September 15, 2015
  5. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.48 x 8.5 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1583949763
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1583949764
  8. See all details
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Popular Highlights in this book
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Previous page
  1. Welcoming everything that comes to us is the challenge. This is the secret to being fully alive.
    Highlighted by 1,468 Kindle readers
  2. We are most alive at the threshold between loss and revelation; every loss ultimately opens the way for a new encounter.
    Highlighted by 1,416 Kindle readers
  3. For the most part, grief is not a problem to be solved, not a condition to be medicated, but a deep encounter with an essential experience of being human.
    Highlighted by 1,390 Kindle readers
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From the Publisher

Wild Edge of Sorrow

wild edge of sorrow

wild edge of sorrow

wild edge of sorrow

Editorial Reviews

Review

“In The Wild Edge of Sorrow Francis Weller offers his readers a breath-taking and dramatic journey of inner discovery into personal pain resolution, planetary healing, and soul development. It is an essential publication—one that offers precious guidance and insight for those who are strong enough, as well as mature enough, to probe and challenge the darkness.”
—Spirituality Today
 
“The Wild Edge of Sorrow marries uncommon compassion with clear-eyed discernment in its invitation to the reader to become a soul activist in a soul-devouring culture. It is a comprehensive manual for conscious grieving and opening to the unprecedented joy and passion that result from embracing our sorrow.”
—Carolyn Baker, PhD, author of Love in the Age of Ecological Apocalypse and Collapsing Consciously
 
“The Wild Edge of Sorrow is extraordinary, and explores the ongoing pain of separation from community and nature that we all feel. Reading Weller’s book, I've realized that we have a lot of unprocessed grief to share. This book will be a gift to many.”
—Charles Eisenstein, author of The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know is Possible

“Weller guides us into the difficult geography of sorrow and helps us find our way back to our souls. He brings much-needed medicine to a culture that relies upon distraction and anesthesia to cope with the daily losses that surround us.”
—Malidoma Somé, author of The Healing Wisdom of Africa: Finding Life Purpose Through Nature, Ritual, and Community
 
“This book rings a shivering bell of hope: that, when lifted by ritual and fellowship, the moist ground of grief actually contains a treasury of gifts that are our ancestral birthright. A delightful wisdom shines through every page of The Wild Edge of Sorrow.”
—Martin Shaw, author of A Branch From The Lightning Tree

“This book is not only a map to navigate some of the most tender and difficult regions of the psyche, but a work of literary art.”
—Kim Rosen, author ofSaved by a Poem: The Transformative Power of Words

“Quite possibly the best guidebook ever crafted on the art of grieving, this volume is also a brilliant and poetic handbook for becoming fully human, more exquisitely alive, and more able to contribute to cultural change. The Wild Edge of Sorrow invites us into the very heart of sorrow, profound healing, and a deepened communion with each other and Earth.”
—Bill Plotkin, author ofWild Mind: A Field Guide to the Human Psycheand Soulcraft: Crossing into the Mysteries of Nature and Psyche
 
"This book is a work of beauty: beauty in its language, its poetic sensibility, in its deep insights into the nature of loss and its effect on the human soul. Weller's book is, finally, a healing balm. It shows how our tears may be the redemptive waters we have needed for so long."
—Roger Housden, author ofTen Poems to Say Goodbye

"Francis Weller’s book, The Wild Edge of Sorrow is so deeply honest, insightful, and hopeful. His style of writing and speaking is poetic, and yet one feels as though they are in conversation with a neighbor. Should you purchase the book, read it with a pen by your side. You’ll want to underline and remember the rich prose on every page."
—Marianna Cacciatore, author ofBeing There for Someone in Grief

"The warmth of Weller’s voice and his beautiful language, will speak directly to your soul, in a way your soul has longed to feel embraced.  His words will open your heart to receive your own most tender and vulnerable feelings as a gift to be cherished as they may bring forth a new depth of connection to the soul of the world." 
—Dr. Risa Kaparo, author ofAwakening Somatic Intelligence

About the Author

FRANCIS WELLER, MFT, is a psychotherapist, writer, and soul activist. A master of synthesizing diverse streams of thought from psychology, anthropology, mythology, alchemy, indigenous cultures, and poetic traditions, he has introduced the healing work of ritual to thousands of people. The core of his work is creating pathways to reclaiming our indigenous soul, what psychologist Carl Jung called the "unforgotten wisdom" that resides in the heart of the psyche. To further his work, he founded and currently directs WisdomBridge, an organization offering educational programs that seek to integrate the wisdom from traditional cultures with the insights and knowledge gathered from western cultures.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ North Atlantic Books (September 15, 2015)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 224 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1583949763
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1583949764
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.48 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 1,194 ratings

About the author

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Francis Weller

Francis Weller

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Francis Weller, MFT, is a psychotherapist, writer and soul activist. He is a master of synthesizing diverse streams of thought from psychology, anthropology, mythology, alchemy, indigenous cultures and poetic traditions. Author of Entering the Healing Ground: Grief, Ritual and the Soul of the World, he has introduced the healing work of ritual to thousands of people. The core of his work is creating pathways to reclaiming our indigenous soul, what psychologist Carl Jung called the “unforgotten wisdom” that resides in the heart of the psyche. To further this work, he founded and directs WisdomBridge, an organization that offers educational programs that seek to integrate the wisdom from traditional cultures with the insights and knowledge gathered from western cultures.

For over thirty years Francis has worked as a therapist and has developed a style he calls soul-centered psychotherapy. As a gifted therapist and teacher, he has been described as a jazz artist, improvising and moving fluidly in and out of deep emotional territories with groups and individuals, bringing imagination and attention to places often held with judgment and shame. He has created three CD sets, two focusing on healing shame and one on “Restoring the Soul of the World.”

Beginning in 1997, Francis helped to create Men of Spirit, an intensive year-long initiation program designed to restore the masculine community as a resource for cultural renewal. Since its inception, Francis has taken nearly two hundred men across this threshold, comprising twelve clans of men from Southern California north to the Canadian border. He has also facilitated a number of mixed-gender villages with the intention of creating sustainable communities that can tend the need of the soul for belonging.

Francis received a B.A. from the University of Wisconsin Green Bay and two Master’s Degrees from John F. Kennedy University in Clinical Psychology and Transpersonal Psychology. His writings have appeared in anthologies and journals exploring the confluence between psyche, nature and culture. He is a frequent presenter and keynote speaker at conferences, bringing insight, poetry and a breath of humor to his talks. He has taught at Sonoma State University, New College of California and the Sophia Center in Oakland. He is currently completing his second book, A Trail on the Ground: Tracking the Ways of the Indigenous Soul.

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
1,194 global ratings
I'm not mourning the Earth, I'm mourning my Dad.
2 Stars
I'm not mourning the Earth, I'm mourning my Dad.
This book was recommended to me by a grief counselor I met at a party. I made it 49 pages in, not counting the forward and the preface, which I also read. In a relatively short book, the author has given over a lot of territory to what he seems to believe is important when thinking about or experiencing grief: the environment. Within the last year my wife left me and then my dad was diagnosed with and died from cancer. I'm not worried about the environment right now. Hearing about lost or homogenized cultures doesn't matter to me at the moment. The author's preoccupation with these subjects is distracting and frustrating, not helpful. I found very little of value to me in the third of the book I read.
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Top reviews from the United States

Mountain West Shopper
5.0 out of 5 stars ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL BOOK ON GRIEF
Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2024
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This book came to me recommended by SO MANY people! It is a beautifully done, reflective work on the realities of grief with valuable insights from the author's work. Well-written so easy to read on tough topic. Do so HIGHLY RECOMMEND and in future, would read any book by this magnificent author! HEALING!
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5.0 out of 5 stars Incredibly powerful, and the best book I've ever read on the subject of grief
Reviewed in the United States on February 13, 2019
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This is the one book I've been waiting my entire life to see come out on the subject of grief and the absolute necessity of grieving, for the healing of hearts and minds - our own, our families, and our communities. It is about the powerful sense of wholeness and the vital energy that is released when give ourselves permission to feel and honor our grief. It speaks to the ancient, and long forgotten, understanding of the importance of ritual and community as safe "containers" necessary to hold and honor that grief as it is released - and which are absolutely essential to a healthy vibrant life for community and every individual within it. It is the way to reclaim our sense of the sacred, of belonging, and of our truer selves that have been rejected and buried under deep, deep layers of unexpressed sorrow. Frances calls it "soul activism" and a "subversive act" in a culture determined to deny the importance of our emotions and the need for their expression. We have become alienated from ourselves, from others, and from this earth and it has been killing us inch by inch, year after year - eating us all alive - for a very long time. This books will help you find your way back home to yourself and others, and to this stunningly beautiful earth we live upon. It validates our individual and collective grief and the added pain (and growing sense of loneliness) we have all experienced when we have been shamed into to stuffing these feelings in a multitude of ways. I couldn't recommend this book more highly. It is one of the most important books that you will ever read and in these dark times the knowledge and wisdom it contains has never been so urgently needed, as it today. So buy it, read it, and, if you are able, start healing groups in your own communities as soon as possible. You don't have to have any special knowledge except for what is contained in this book, to start. This is completely uncharted territory for most of us - but it is one that we must enter, and explore and become familiar with if we want to heal our broken hearts and communities - and Francis shows us how we can begin. And each time you do you will find that the gifts which come from undertaking this journey far outweigh the fear and pain we all feel when we first set out. Indeed, you will be filled with profound gratitude and a sense of joy and wonder that most of us haven't experienced since early childhood - and know that it was worth every moment of the pain and fear you walked through. And you will laugh, wondering why you hadn't done it sooner and why everyone else has been so afraid to.
A personal note: I have been a subversive of this ilk for a long time. At first, because my sorrow was just too much to hold in, but later it became an outright act of rebellion against the destructive cultural norm to stuff uncomfortable and "inconvenient" feelings. I feel that it is an insult to the integrity of my being and to everyone else's, so I refused, and still refuse, (no matter what anyone says) to stuff my pain and sorrow so others will feel comfortable. Giving myself permission to experience it fully, when it does come, has brought me through a great many tragedies in my life, renewing me in heart, mind, body, and soul - every time. I promise the same will happen for you. Every one of us has the right to experience all of our feelings without being shamed or told to "get over it, it's in the past." So take back your rights to feel what you feel without shame. Rebel!! (This personal note I have shared is probably "against the rules" But given the urgency of our situation I say, "let's break all the rules that hold our hearts and minds hostage and start again!") Love to you all. Namaste
73 people found this helpful
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FreeGirl
5.0 out of 5 stars If you view all things as part of your spiritual journey, this book is for you.
Reviewed in the United States on January 15, 2024
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It is coming up on a year since my oldest son left us. I thought I would be in a shambles, as I was every year after my first daughter passed away. Strangely (to me), I find my brain fog is lifting, I am beginning to think clearly again. If you rely on your intellectual faculties the way I do, you know how horrible it feels when your brain has wrapped itself in some kind of protective wool. Like any bandage or cast, it's for recovery, and healing, of course, but it's also hampering, and restrictive, and sometimes, because you can't seem to think, it's embarrassing. Especially when you need help from those around you to perform simple tasks that have become overwhelmingly difficult.
I tend to hide my grief, or try to keep so busy I can forget for a time, but it has been an ever-present shadow and weight that I have been dragging through my days and sleepless nights.
Yet somehow, these past few weeks that I have been dreading the approach of, I feel ready to do the "work" around this profound grief.
As often happens, help comes along the way, in the form of people who have experienced this,, books, and of course, Spirit...
Last week I purchased this book. I have books on grief that have helped me in the past. I have had wonderful books recommended to me by others who have been in this Valley of the Shadow of Death. But never a book so profound, so powerful, so, I want to say *personal*, that so intimately knows every crumpled edge of my grief, and could show me how to navigate and smooth the rough edges of it...
Even the forward is resonant with insight and reverential peace.
The poem below is in this book...if you have lost someone that you thought you could not bear to lose, I cannot recommend this book enough. Especially if, like me, you believe that all of our life experiences are intended to or can be used to grow spiritually. You will never regret reading this beautiful, powerful, medicinal work.
It is healing medicine, lancing wounds, applying balm, bringing tears of healing and love in place of despair.
I am grateful.
This is the poem.:
‘Tis a fearful thing
to love what death can touch.
A fearful thing
to love, to hope, to dream, to be –
to be,
And oh, to lose.
A thing for fools, this,
And a holy thing, a holy thing
to love.
For your life has lived in me,
your laugh once lifted me,
your word was gift to me.
To remember this brings painful joy.
‘Tis a human thing, love,
a holy thing, to love
what death has touched.”
~ Yehuda HaLevi (12th Century Spain)
40 people found this helpful
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Patricia Reynolds
4.0 out of 5 stars Bought for church
Reviewed in the United States on March 8, 2024
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The pastor used parts for her discussion on grief and lamentations. I bought because I heard author on Anderson Cooper’s podcast.
4 people found this helpful
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J. Miller
5.0 out of 5 stars Must Read
Reviewed in the United States on April 1, 2024
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This is a much read. We all experience grief so this can apply to everyone.
One person found this helpful
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Reelhussy
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read
Reviewed in the United States on February 22, 2024
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Whether you think you’re grieving or not, this is an essential book to understand better and care for the human psyche. Not just for yourself, but for others. Fantastically written.
5 people found this helpful
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Rachel
5.0 out of 5 stars Soul balm
Reviewed in the United States on January 7, 2024
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This is simply one of the most gorgeous books on traveling the arc of life— and tending to the grief that follows behind us, often unnamed/un-acknowleged, along the way. Francis Weller holds space to it in a way, too often, our modern culture bypasses. Their is a sacredness in this kind of seeing that gives way to gratitude and a relief of wholeness (even if fleeting). I’m ever so grateful for modern seers like Gabor Mate, Martin Prechtel, and Francis Weller for speaking into the most sacred aspects of being. Best medicine.
12 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Peter Panopoulos
5.0 out of 5 stars Empowering. Beautiful. Soulful.
Reviewed in Canada on September 4, 2021
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I didn’t know I needed this book. Or certainly how much I needed it. I had “dealt” with loss fairly well, or so I thought. To be honest, if I saw a book with “sorrow” in the title, I would think why would I just depress myself. I’m not even sure how I came to buy it. But it opened my heart and my eyes. I was blind to grief, and didn’t know it. Its power, its capacity to connect us to our Soul/Deeper Truth more deeply and move energy stuck inside us that weigh us down. To bring us to a powerful awakeness/aliveness to the sacredness of life itself. To fall in love with ourselves again - remember who we truly are. I will read it again soon as it is psycho-spiritually activating for me. This book is a Soul treasure.
2 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Compassionate and honest
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 27, 2023
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A brilliant read! So thorough and compassionate. Well worth it.
2 people found this helpful
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GaiaSophia
5.0 out of 5 stars Une merveille ! A wonder
Reviewed in France on February 18, 2021
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The author deals with a subject on which so little is written! I am French, far from being bilingual but I did not hesitate to acquire it and patiently translate it so much its content called me. Well done and thank you.
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Battler
5.0 out of 5 stars A good read
Reviewed in Australia on March 19, 2024
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Everyone should read and understand the content in this book.
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Irina
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book, very helpful to understand the nature of grief and how to manage it
Reviewed in Canada on November 27, 2023
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