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Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle Paperback – January 7, 2020

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 8,575 ratings

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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “This book is a gift! I’ve been practicing their strategies, and it’s a total game changer.”—Brené Brown, PhD, author of Dare to Lead

“A primer on how to stop letting the world dictate how you live and what we think of ourselves, Burnout is essential reading [and] . . . excels in its intersectionality.”—Bustle
 
This groundbreaking book explains why women experience burnout differently than men—and provides a roadmap to minimizing stress, managing emotions, and living more joyfully.
 
Burnout. You, like most American women, have probably experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to exist as a woman in today’s world are two different things—and we exhaust ourselves trying to close the gap. Sisters Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the all-too-familiar cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. They compassionately explain the obstacles and societal pressures we face—and how we can fight back. 
 
You’ll learn
• what you can do to complete the biological stress cycle
• how to manage the “monitor” in your brain that regulates the emotion of frustration
• how the Bikini Industrial Complex makes it difficult for women to love their bodies—and how to defend yourself against it
• why rest, human connection, and befriending your inner critic are keys to recovering from and preventing burnout
 
With the help of eye-opening science, prescriptive advice, and helpful worksheets and exercises, all women will find something transformative in
Burnout—and will be empowered to create positive change.

A BOOKRIOT BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR
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Popular Highlights in this book

From the Publisher

burnout;burn out;self help;time management;stress management;gifts for women;mental health

What are the benefits of continuing? What are the benefits of stopping?burnout;burn out;self help

You are here to be you, to move through the world with confidence & joy. You require rest to do that

The moral of the story is: we thrive when we have a positive goal to move toward.burnout;self help

Cup of Jo says, “They make the self-help genre not make you want to poke your eyes out.”burnout

Sarah Wilson says, “Turns our struggle with stress on its head and paves a meaningful path.”

Sarah Knight says, “[T]he gold standard for self-help books… Truly life-changing.”

Peggy Orenstein says, “[I]t made me cry with gratitude and relief. The book is that revolutionary.”

Editorial Reviews

Review

Burnout is the gold standard of self-help books, delivering cutting-edge science with energy, empathy, and wit. The authors know exactly what’s going on inside your frazzled brain and body, and exactly what you can do to fix it. . . . Truly life-changing.”—Sarah Knight, New York Times bestselling author of Calm the F*ck Down

“In
Burnout, Emily and Amelia Nagoski deconstruct the stress we experience as women, and their compassionate, science-based advice on how to release it made me cry with gratitude and relief. Repeatedly. In public. The book is that revolutionary and its authors that wonderful and wise.”—Peggy Orenstein, New York Times bestselling author of Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape

“Reading
Burnout, I knew this was not just another self-help book that keeps us trapped by the idea of female inadequacy. It turns our struggle with stress on its head and paves a meaningful path to what the authors call ‘growing mighty’ by  bravely dropping in thoroughly contemporary and refreshing truth bombs, like, yeah, the patriarchal system is the issue, and goddamn it’s time we play by our own rules!”—Sarah Wilson, New York Times bestselling author of First, We Make the Beast Beautiful

“The first sentence of
Burnout says, ‘This is a book is for any woman who has felt overwhelmed and exhausted by everything she had to do, and yet still worried she was not doing “enough.”’ (I raised my hand in bed.) Emily Nagoski [and] her twin sister, Amelia, teamed up to write about how to combat stress, and they have a gift for making the self-help genre not make you want to poke your eyes out.”—Cup of Jo

About the Author

Emily Nagoski is the award-winning author of the New York Times bestseller Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life. She has a MS in counseling and a PhD in health behavior, both from Indiana University.

Amelia Nagoski holds a conductor with a DMA in conducting from the University of Connecticut. An assistant professor and coordinator of music at Western New England University, she regularly presents educational sessions discussing the application of communications science and psychological research for audiences of other professional musicians, including “Beyond Burnout Prevention: Embodied Wellness for Conductors.”

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Random House Publishing Group; Reprint edition (January 7, 2020)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 304 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1984818325
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1984818324
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5 x 0.62 x 7.71 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 8,575 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
8,575 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book provides helpful insights and diagrams that help them understand better. They describe it as a good, enjoyable read that touches on universal themes for women. The feminist content is relatable and provides reasonable strategies for managing burnout. Readers appreciate the clear writing style and the authors' skillful weaving of science with personal experiences.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

177 customers mention "Insight"156 positive21 negative

Customers find the book provides helpful insights and diagrams that help them understand better. They find it well-researched and written, with interesting information about stress, rest, societal pressure, and techniques for moving past it. The practical exercises and relatable explanations of theories are appreciated. Overall, readers consider it an educational and engaging read.

"Really helped me understand stress!" Read more

"...This book explores burnout, combines stories and research to effectively share insights, and offers reasonable strategies for managing burnout." Read more

"...burnout, Emily and Amelia Nagoski's book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, snuck up on me too. "..." Read more

"...This book helps me understand why, but it also gets me angry and it's a little cheesy sometimes...." Read more

152 customers mention "Readability"124 positive28 negative

Customers find the book an enjoyable and easy read. They appreciate the honest, engaging writing style and the author's interview. The book starts well and gets them hooked with its stories and informal tone.

"...Overall, it's good, but it's bit overhyped...." Read more

"I have this on Audible (they narrate it wonderfully) and in paperback. I am a therapist and use the workbook as well...." Read more

"...I read it in under a week because it was really enjoyable and I made the time to do so (I was disappointed when it ended!!)...." Read more

"...The book was written to be accessible to everyone, and it accomplished that." Read more

47 customers mention "Feminist content"35 positive12 negative

Customers find the book's feminist content useful and insightful. They appreciate the topics covered and the female perspective. The advice and stories are universal for women, making it a good choice for those struggling with feeling inadequate or overwhelmed.

"...The topics covered are so universal for women in the 21st century that you really feel like they get it; it's so nice to have your suspicions about..." Read more

"...This book is written for every woman who has survived the outrages of living in our society while female...." Read more

"...Instead of helping me reflect on my behaviors, this book blames the patriarchy. Yeah, that is part of the problem, but I can't control that piece." Read more

"I loved this book so much. Yes, it's feminist (in that...feminism is predicated on the basis of the equality of the sexes) and talks about why women..." Read more

44 customers mention "Relatability"33 positive11 negative

Customers find the book relatable and funny. It touches on important themes and helps them with vivid metaphors and personal observations. Readers appreciate the clear writing and use of stories to convey core points. They feel empowered after reading the book and appreciate the nuanced and powerful personal touch.

"...This book explores burnout, combines stories and research to effectively share insights, and offers reasonable strategies for managing burnout." Read more

"...The writing is approachable, fun, and relatable...." Read more

"...Overall, it's good, but it's bit overhyped...." Read more

"...But, it’s just never gotten resolved for me. This book gives me permission to feel - a little - angry about it, so I can move through it." Read more

26 customers mention "Burnout prevention"22 positive4 negative

Customers find the book helpful for preventing burnout. They appreciate the reasonable strategies and explanations of burnout points. The book provides good advice about sleep, exercise, and health. However, some readers feel it's too focused on exercises and journal prompts.

"...This book explores burnout, combines stories and research to effectively share insights, and offers reasonable strategies for managing burnout." Read more

"...Good advice about sleep and exercise and people caring about each other The bad: -..." Read more

"...about stress, rest, societal pressure, and techniques for moving past burnout and stress. Interesting and useful!" Read more

"...book is so full of golden nuggets, and absolutely tells you how to avoid and overcome burnout...." Read more

22 customers mention "Pacing"19 positive3 negative

Customers appreciate the book's pacing. They find the concepts easy to understand, with clear summaries at the end of each chapter. The authors skillfully weave science with critical analysis and personal experiences. Readers describe the book as brilliant, relatable, and honest.

"This book is brilliant. It's everything I wish I knew years ago. Every woman should read this. It doesn't matter if you're burnt out or not...." Read more

"...Skimmed through it a bit and saw there were many diagrams, which helps my brain understand a little better rather than just words on a paper...." Read more

"Very good book! Great ideas and methods to help recognize and improve stress levels!" Read more

"...My copy is riddled with notes and underlines. I appreciate the chapter wrap-ups at the end and the practical worksheets that are peppered throughout...." Read more

6 customers mention "Healing ability"6 positive0 negative

Customers find the book empowering and helpful for making lasting health and well-being improvements. They say it's medicine for the soul and makes them feel better.

"...It was medicine for the soul to read this and to converse about it along the way with a trusted friend." Read more

"...This books has made me feel so much better. Worthy, valuable, and allowed myself more grace...." Read more

"...I continue to reference it as I learn how to make lasting improvements to my health and well-being" Read more

"...on how stress and stressors work in our bodies and how to help our bodies heal. Highly recommended." Read more

6 customers mention "Anger level"0 positive6 negative

Customers find the book contains a lot of bitterness, anger, and politics. They find it distressing and not very psychological.

"...This book helps me understand why, but it also gets me angry and it's a little cheesy sometimes...." Read more

"...The writing style feels immature and bitter...." Read more

"...Its not super psychological. Could be a fun read for someone who is not in serious need of stress coping skills. I want the nitty gritty...." Read more

"As a male reader this book was actually very distressing because it, in one fell swoop, both undermined the possibility of my emotional challenges,..." Read more

Hard cover would've been a better option
3 out of 5 stars
Hard cover would've been a better option
At the moment, my review will be only about the cover, not the content itself since I just got it and haven't read it.I usually go by the hard covers but in this case, I want with the paperback option since I liked the design more. I must say, it looks used. The front page has some foldings in the corner, the spine looks a bit pealed off.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on November 6, 2024
    Burnout is always a word that is thrown around, but not one that we spend much time exploring. This book explores burnout, combines stories and research to effectively share insights, and offers reasonable strategies for managing burnout.
    3 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 3, 2025
    Really helped me understand stress!
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 21, 2023
    The word burnout crept up in my everyday use since 2019 – and then the pandemic hit. No travel. No casual shopping. No conferences. None of the usual ways to break up the days. Burnout, especially at work, snuck up on me. Much like my own burnout, Emily and Amelia Nagoski's book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, snuck up on me too.

    "First coined as a technical term by Herbert Freudenberger in 1975, "burnout" was defined by three components:

    1. emotional exhaustion—the fatigue that comes from caring too much, for too long;

    2. depersonalization—the depletion of empathy, caring, and compassion;

    3. decreased sense of accomplishment—an unconquerable sense of futility: feeling that nothing you do makes any difference.

    Written with women in mind, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle talks about the big and little stressors we experience daily – from the patriarchy (ugh) to the "second shift" most women have after work at home (house chores, caregiving). Compared to what it's like to be a woman, what's expected of women creates burnout without even realizing it. The authors discuss the Bikini Industrial Complex and the microaggressions women regularly experience for not looking, acting, or speaking in a certain way.

    Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle goes on to discuss how to complete the stress cycle. When we experience fight, flight, or freeze responses, our bodies react to those chemicals even though we are rarely in actual life-or-death experiences. The problems arise when we experience those reactions and don't get the fulfillment of knowing we are no longer in a life-or-death situation.

    Too many women, especially women of color, grow up with unconscious biases about how we should behave, which is only exacerbated by others around us with unconscious biases. Before you know it, we're working ourselves too much, developing physical symptoms from a life of microaggressions and minor stressors, and we reach a breaking point. A part of this book encourages you to be aware of times in your life when you need to move on from whatever is causing you stress.

    I appreciate a great deal about this book, but I loved how the authors didn't promise your burnout will magically go away if you take luxurious baths every night or try and "lean in" at work more. The premise of Burnout empowers us to accept ourselves exactly as we are and know that we are enough.

    Buy Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle because we all need to work on unconscious biases around women at home, work, and in the world.
    44 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on July 24, 2024
    I got this book because I keep getting myself into situations where I am doing too much. This book helps me understand why, but it also gets me angry and it's a little cheesy sometimes. Overall, it's good, but it's bit overhyped.

    What I want is to stop caring and to feel secure enough to stop constantly trying to prove myself.

    Instead of helping me reflect on my behaviors, this book blames the patriarchy. Yeah, that is part of the problem, but I can't control that piece.
    17 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on August 5, 2024
    I have this on Audible (they narrate it wonderfully) and in paperback. I am a therapist and use the workbook as well. I am pleased that it doesn't just tell what burn out is, but gives directions on how to combat it.
    4 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on June 24, 2019
    This book is everything. I've recommended it to every woman I've come across in my daily life that I think might benefit from reading it (translation: every woman I've come across in my daily life). I read it in under a week because it was really enjoyable and I made the time to do so (I was disappointed when it ended!!). I've reread it a second time and keep it on my desk as a constant reference and reminder of the topics addressed.

    The writing is approachable, fun, and relatable. They make the science-y bits easily digestible, the philosophy bits graspable, and the patriarchy (ugh) bits smashable. The topics covered are so universal for women in the 21st century that you really feel like they get it; it's so nice to have your suspicions about some of your interpersonal interactions and society as a whole validated.

    This was my first experience of "self-help" book, and I loved it so much that I have read everything else Emily Nagoski has written (Come as You Are is a game changer and her fiction under the pen name Emily Foster is really great). Can't recommend this book enough to anyone and everyone. It should be required reading for all women entering the workforce or any higher education; and honestly they should make it a requisite for girls to read before receiving their high school diploma or GED equivalency. Start 'em young so they can spot this stuff along the way and learn to deal with their stress before addressing their stressors!
    181 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on September 25, 2024
    This book is brilliant. It's everything I wish I knew years ago. Every woman should read this. It doesn't matter if you're burnt out or not. Talking about stress, how to work through it, and how to understand yourself is vital for everyone's well being.
    Many things that I doubted, questioned, and thought it was just me, I learned that research shows it isn't just me. There's nothing wrong with you, ladies. If you want to find out more about feeling more connected to yourself and others, I think this book is a good place to start.
  • Reviewed in the United States on February 7, 2025
    The media could not be loaded.
    At the moment, my review will be only about the cover, not the content itself since I just got it and haven't read it.

    I usually go by the hard covers but in this case, I want with the paperback option since I liked the design more. I must say, it looks used. The front page has some foldings in the corner, the spine looks a bit pealed off.
    Customer image
    AL
    3.0 out of 5 stars
    Hard cover would've been a better option

    Reviewed in the United States on February 7, 2025
    At the moment, my review will be only about the cover, not the content itself since I just got it and haven't read it.

    I usually go by the hard covers but in this case, I want with the paperback option since I liked the design more. I must say, it looks used. The front page has some foldings in the corner, the spine looks a bit pealed off.
    Images in this review
    Customer image

Top reviews from other countries

  • Alejandra
    5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best books I’ve ever read
    Reviewed in Mexico on December 3, 2021
    It helps me a lot to understand my self and my current mood. I can put my feeling in real context and accept my self with compassion and love. Thanks for writing this book.
  • Maria A Acuna Arreaza
    5.0 out of 5 stars Love this book!
    Reviewed in Spain on February 14, 2025
    A real life changer.
  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing Must Read
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 27, 2023
    Definitely a must read and a re-read for whenever you need it. The authors have written this book in such an engaging way and explains complex topics so creative yet simply with lots of analogies that really suited me. Definitely think its a must read for anyone, who wants to understand and wants simple strategies to take home to improve your quality of life and stress cycle. You will come out feeling so empowered and validated!
  • Jackie
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
    Reviewed in France on June 14, 2022
    This book spoke directly to me. Recommended reading for women especially, at anytime in one's life-- not only when feeling tired and burntout.
  • FP
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great read
    Reviewed in Canada on October 17, 2020
    Easy reading, evidence based and well presented, humorous even! Looking at burnout through a feminist lens. Lots of practical tips and strategies for preventing and recovering from burnout.

    Three comments
    1) little info on burnout as a clinical entity. What is the exact definition? What causes it in the professional context (different references have talked about high responsibility, but little control and flexibility, long hours, hostile work environment)? Can antidepressants help? How long does it last?
    2) Would have been nice to see a chapter dedicated to motherhood, as I feel this is a definite contributor for many women. Working moms and SAHM can burn out.
    3) The chapter on the bikini industrial complex. Yes, healthcare and society have huge issues with fat shaming that need to be resolved. However, obesity is strongly associated with type 2 diabetes and metabolic syndrome, non alcoholic fatty liver disease, and coronary artery disease. A body that loses weight easily without effort may have cancer, cirrhosis, malabsorption, etc (the differential is literally pages long), so it isn't surprising that low body weight is associated with mortality. A body that gains weight easily is almost always healthy (some exceptions like Cushing's, hypothyroidism, medications, etc exist), especially in our sedentary, food abundant modern developed world. However, staying at a high weight with a high percentage of visceral body fat is associated with the chronic health conditions listed above. In very severe cases when bariatric surgery is used, we see major improvement in diabetes (some patients no longer need any medication afterwards, liver disease improves, etc. I'm sure the authors know this, but the chapter doesn't tell the full story, which hurts its credibility imo.