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Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time Paperback – January 6, 2004

by Susan Scott (Author)

2,264 ratings

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Fully revised and updated—the national bestselling communication skills guide that will help you achieve personal and professional success one conversation at a time.

The master teacher of positive change through powerful communication, Susan Scott wants you to succeed. To do that, she explains, you must transform everyday conversations at work and at home with effective ways to get your message across—and get what you want. In this guide, which includes a workbook and The Seven Principles of Fierce Conversations, Scott teaches you how to:

• Overcome barriers to meaningful communication
• Expand and enrich relationships with colleagues, friends, and family
• Increase clarity and improve understanding
• Handle strong emotions—on both sides of the table
• Connect with colleagues, customers and family at a deep level

Includes a Foreword by Ken Blanchard, the bestselling co-author of The One Minute Manager

Editorial Reviews

Review

“A reminder that ‘the way out is through,’…she provides great techniques for navigating the passage.”—David Allen, New York Times bestselling author of Getting Things Done

“A life-affirming primer for moving us toward the conversations we need to have most.”—Doug Stone, New York Times bestselling coauthor of Difficult Conversations

“Those whose conversations with co-workers or family members aren’t producing the results they want will find plenty of helpful tools and assignments in this succinct guide.”—Publishers Weekly

“Scott’s workbook exercises will allow readers to have effective, life-changing fierce conversations of their own.”—Booklist

About the Author

Susan Scott maintains an international consulting practice through her firm, Fierce Conversations Inc., which provides Fierce Conversations, Fierce Leadership, and Fierce Coaching programs to CEOs and company leaders. For fourteen years, she ran think tanks and seminars for business leaders through TEC International, an organization dedicated to increasing the effectiveness and enhancing the lives of CEOS around the world. Scott has extensive experience assisting companies with mission, vision, values, leadership development, cultural transformation, strategic planning, and executive coaching.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ 0425193373
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Berkley; Reprint edition (January 6, 2004)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 368 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9780425193372
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0425193372
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.98 x 0.81 x 8.98 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #10,162 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #82 in Communication & Social Skills (Books)
- #135 in Business Management (Books)
- #323 in Success Self-Help

Customer Reviews:
2,264 ratings

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Susan Scott

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Bestselling author Susan Scott has been working as a leadership development architect for more than two decades. She is the founder of Fierce, Inc., a global training company that helps Global 1000 companies generate significant results by transforming the conversations central to their success. Fierce, Inc.'s clients include Yahoo, Starbucks, Cisco, Nestle, and Coca-Cola. She lives in Seattle, Washington.

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Customers say

Customers find the book exceptionally engaging and a must-read for business, praising its practical advice and powerful approach to conversations. They consider it a definite read for leaders, with one customer noting its importance in driving individual and organizational success. The book's style receives positive feedback for its boldness, while opinions on humor are mixed, with some finding it humorous while others find it boring.

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Readability Information quality Communication skills Leadership Effectiveness Style Humor

172 customers mention "Readability"165 positive7 negative

Customers find the book exceptionally engaging and enjoyable to read, describing it as down-to-earth and a must-read for business.

"Straight talk removes ambiguity. A great read and even better advice." Read more

"...Susan Scott has written a wonderful book that address the importance of having real conversations and then tells you how to make sure you can pull..." Read more

"...Definitely worth your read...." Read more

"...have the conversation that is needed and it does so by also offering great instructions for how to do so, even when the conversation is difficult...." Read more

153 customers mention "Information quality"149 positive4 negative

Customers find the book's information quality positive, describing it as an amazingly insightful guidebook that provides practical advice and serves as a powerful tool for personal growth.

"Straight talk removes ambiguity. A great read and even better advice." Read more

"...They are: Master the courage to interrogate reality, Come out from behind yourself and make the conversation real, Be here, prepared to be nowhere..." Read more

"...you’ve read this if you’re looking for something to inspire meaningful self-reflection on your life, work, and relationships." Read more

"...easy read with many stories and illustrations that provides good guidance for having the tough, difficult, brutally honest conversations that need..." Read more

80 customers mention "Communication skills"80 positive0 negative

Customers praise the book's approach to conversations, highlighting its focus on direct communication about important matters and how conversations shape relationships.

"Straight talk removes ambiguity. A great read and even better advice." Read more

"...to interrogate reality, Come out from behind yourself and make the conversation real, Be here, prepared to be nowhere else, Tackle your toughest..." Read more

"...What I appreciate about Scott is she challenges us to have the tough conversations. Interrogate reality so you can get to ground truth...." Read more

"...-aways regarding the importance of having great, thorough and honest conversations that allow you to feel a remarkable sense of integrity and self-..." Read more

24 customers mention "Leadership"24 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's leadership content, noting it is a definite read for all leaders and provides insights for both professional and personal growth. One customer mentions it has given them more courage to lead, while another highlights its importance for driving individual and organizational success.

"...has written a companion book that I also highly recommend - Fierce Leadership - check it out." Read more

"...It covers the 7 principles that are of the utmost importance to drive individual and organizational success...." Read more

"...the surface at work and at home to have meaningful, life-changing talks with co-workers, your boss, your family and a significant other...." Read more

"...The author and her organization are well recognized and highly successful executive coaches...." Read more

18 customers mention "Effectiveness"18 positive0 negative

Customers find the book effective and powerful.

"...The book does a marvelous job of discussing how to truly have fierce conversations...." Read more

"In an exceptionally engaging and effective manner this book teaches the merits of planning for, rehearsing and then conducting vulnerable..." Read more

"...Each time to a high level of effectiveness that honors my team and helps move my company forward...." Read more

"...No more masks! Very liberating and it works!" Read more

10 customers mention "Style"10 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's style, noting its boldness and approachable tone, with one customer highlighting almost the entire text.

"...Chapter 6, which is a beautiful summary of how to note our emotional wake)...." Read more

"...Overall, it is an easy read with many stories and illustrations that provides good guidance for having the tough, difficult, brutally honest..." Read more

"...And it's not a self-help book or a therapy book. It's a distinctively honest look at being honest with one's self and the people with whom one is..." Read more

"In an age of communication avalanche, this stands out for its incisiveness, simplicity and action-abilty for everyone - Everyone we know and care..." Read more

11 customers mention "Humor"6 positive5 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the book's humor, with some finding it humorous and entertaining, while others describe it as a boring read.

"...deep forward movement as a human, this book will make you think, laugh, roll your eyes, and most importantly, spend time in deep conversation with..." Read more

"...Not groundbreaking as a book, but well thought out chapters on how to move past the surface at work and at home to have meaningful, life-changing..." Read more

"...She also has a sense of humor and drops in little gems of wisdom throughout the book that I use all the time...." Read more

"...Most of the stories were fairly entertaining, but I felt the book was 90% fluff. I would not recommend this book." Read more

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Virgil Kane
Get it now. Read it immediately, live a better and more satisfying life as a real person.
Reviewed in the United States on March 2, 2025
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Straight talk removes ambiguity. A great read and even better advice.

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John Chancellor
Life Changing
Reviewed in the United States on November 2, 2009
Verified Purchase
If your relationships at home or work could use improvement, then this is a must read book. The title is probably a little misleading and perhaps intimidating. After all, most people I know do not like confrontation. And the title sounds like you will be having toe to toe, screaming matches. But a fierce conversation is not about who can shout the loudest.

The book is based on the fundamental truth that most of the time we have polite conversations rather than real ones. We talk about things that are safe rather than the things that really need to be talked about.

Susan Scott has written a wonderful book that address the importance of having real conversations and then tells you how to make sure you can pull them off.

For starters, she says the purpose of a fierce conversation is to
interrogate reality, provoke learning, tackle tough challenges and enrich relationships." The last point is so important. Lots of people have tough conversations but often these cause the relationship to deteriorate.

If you follow the steps, you will not only talk through the tough issues, you will build better relationships. This is true for work relationships as well as personal relationships.

Scott addresses five different types of conversations. They are: team conversations, coaching conversations, delegation conversations and confrontational conversations. And she gives the model and example for each.

Susan gives seven principles to guide a person in their fierce conversations. They are: Master the courage to interrogate reality, Come out from behind yourself and make the conversation real, Be here, prepared to be nowhere else, Tackle your toughest challenge today, Obey your instincts, Take responsibility for your own wake and Let silence do the heavy lifting.

I do not know anyone who uses silence as they should. Most people are too eager to tell their story, show how much they know, they forget to let silence into the conversation.

The book does a marvelous job of discussing how to truly have fierce conversations. But an underlying theme of the book is that most conversations are with your self. On occasions, other people are involved. If you want to truly master fierce conversations, you must master them with your self first.

It is not a book to just read and file away. This is a book you need to keep handy, refer to often. The appendix has some wonderful worksheets and questions and there is a User's Guide at the end.

The book is well written, easy to read with lots of helpful examples. If you implement just a portion of the wisdom in this book, it will change your life.

The big lesson is to interrogate reality in all your conversations. What are you pretending not to know? What are you afraid to discuss with your boss/ co-worker or spouse?

A polite conversation is a failed conversation because you did not talk about the issues that are crying to be addressed.

Truly a life changing book. Susan has written a companion book that I also highly recommend - Fierce Leadership - check it out.

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28 people found this helpful

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Cris
Have the tough conversations! - Great insight for richer relationships and work
Reviewed in the United States on March 12, 2018
Verified Purchase
How often do you walk away from a conversation having talked around an issue, but not about it? How often do you not fully share your thoughts? How often is this conversation with yourself?

These questions form the heart of Susan Scott’s book, where she challenges us to step into Fierce Conversations with others and ourselves. At its core, Scott challenges us to interrogate reality and talk about the things that are most important, assuming (rightly, I believe) that we often avoid doing this to our own and others detriment. She outlines four key components that form the structure of this book. Interrogate reality. Provoke learning. Tackle tough issues. Enrich Relationships.

Take one (of many) insights as an example of what you might appreciate about this book: Ground Truth. As Scott references, Ground truth is an old military term, referring to what is really going on on the ground as opposed to what officials are talking about back in the strategy room. As one might imagine, these are often different, sometimes vastly different! Think of this as the talk after the meeting around the water cooler, the things that are rarely brought up during the actual meeting. Stated truth and ground truth are often misaligned.

In my own life I have to admit that ground truth can be hard to come by. How often do I really express fully what I’m thinking to friends or family? How often do I hold back my full thoughts at work or in meetings? How often do I have things that really need to be said, but avoid saying them for fear of safety or that the other person wouldn’t care.

What I appreciate about Scott is she challenges us to have the tough conversations. Interrogate reality so you can get to ground truth. This isn’t easy, and by no means does she advocate that we shouldn’t be thoughtful about how we communicate this (cf. Chapter 6, which is a beautiful summary of how to note our emotional wake). But I think most of us, or at least myself, avoid many ground truth conversations and opt into not talking about the hard things. Scott inspires me to have more hard conversations, because often you have to go through those hard conversations to get to richer, fuller relationships. And, it is impossible to make the best decisions in work without ground truth. We’re literally shooting ourselves in the foot when we don’t show up with all of ourselves and our ideas at work.

Other things you may get out of this book:

Living life in personal integrity
The power of shared vision at work
Tips and outlines of how to effectively engage in difficult conversations
The power of understanding our emotional wake

Definitely worth your read. You won’t be sorry you’ve read this if you’re looking for something to inspire meaningful self-reflection on your life, work, and relationships.

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17 people found this helpful

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Laurie R
Essential life changing information
Reviewed in Australia on February 2, 2016
Verified Purchase

The principles flowingly relayed in this excellent practical life changing book can be used in all facets of life. It is for home, work and with mates at leisure. Being real, bringing the best outcomes. The foundational principles can save marriages, bring depth to family relationships, enable organisations to flourish with integrity and joy. May we each put the words into action.

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PCam
Great
Reviewed in Germany on August 31, 2012
Verified Purchase
Energy, clear examples, a conversion of David Whyte's 'courageous conversations' converted into the corporate world! I love this book. I believe this is the key to bringing needed change to organisations today. How to put 'the fish on the table' as George Kohlrieser would say.

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Dannimac
A great way to behave authentically and talk about what matters
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 22, 2013
Verified Purchase
Clever clever book. Great tips on how to surface the real stuff that's going on in life and business. Within a week of reading, I had worked through some issues that were really bothering me and managed to surface them in my business life in a positive and effective way - galvanising action that was long overdue. Like having a weight lifted off my shoulders. Spreading the fierce conversation message wherever I go - this is a great book, practical, easy to read and so so true in its observations - for anyone who struggles with conflict or is so busy being nice that they dont say what really matters (which the author believes is all of us to some extent), read this and settle into life in a new way.

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Annie's mum
会話に対する姿勢が変わる良著
Reviewed in Japan on September 8, 2008
Verified Purchase
"Fierce"という言葉をどう訳するかが難しいのだが、ここではIntenseな、真実を貫く会話、とでもいえるだろうか。

私達は日ごろ、本当に大切な事を言葉にしていない。
仕事の中で、家庭で、友達との間で、「おざなり」の会話でその場を流してしまっていることが多くないだろうか。著者は「会話こそが「関係」なのである。　一つ一つの会話を丁寧に行うことで人生を変えることができる」と言っている。

この本の著者はエグゼクティブコーチであるため、クライアントの事例はエグゼクティブがよく出てくるが、流れる理念は職場でも家庭でも適用できるものである。
コーチングを勉強している人、職場を活性化させたいエグゼクティブ、家族との関係を改善したい人、全てにお勧めである。

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Marco M.
Great book at a great price
Reviewed in Canada on May 27, 2023
Verified Purchase
Great book at a great price with a quick delivery

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A Must-Have for Every Leader, Aspiring Leader, and Trainer/Coach

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5.0 out of 5 stars Get it now. Read it immediately, live a better and more satisfying life as a real person.

5.0 out of 5 stars Life Changing

5.0 out of 5 stars Have the tough conversations! - Great insight for richer relationships and work

Top reviews from other countries

5.0 out of 5 stars Essential life changing information

5.0 out of 5 stars Great

5.0 out of 5 stars A great way to behave authentically and talk about what matters

5.0 out of 5 stars 会話に対する姿勢が変わる良著

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book at a great price

Get it now. Read it immediately, live a better and more satisfying life as a real person.

Life Changing

Have the tough conversations! - Great insight for richer relationships and work

Essential life changing information

Great

A great way to behave authentically and talk about what matters

会話に対する姿勢が変わる良著

Great book at a great price