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How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing Hardcover – April 26, 2022

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 7,836 ratings

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An NPR Best Book of 2022
USA TODAY Bestseller

This revolutionary approach to cleaning and organizing helps free you from feeling ashamed or overwhelmed by a messy home.

If you’re struggling to stay on top of your to-do list, you probably have a good reason: anxiety, fatigue, depression, ADHD, or lack of support. For therapist KC Davis, the birth of her second child triggered a stress-mess cycle. The more behind she felt, the less motivated she was to start. She didn’t fold a single piece of laundry for seven months. One life-changing realization restored her sanity—and the functionality of her home:
You don’t work for your home; your home works for you.

In other words, messiness is not a moral failing. A new sense of calm washed over her as she let go of the shame-based messaging that interpreted a pile of dirty laundry as “I can never keep up” and a chaotic kitchen as “I’m a bad mother.” Instead, she looked at unwashed clothes and thought, “I am alive,” and at stacks of dishes and thought, “I cooked my family dinner three nights in a row.”

Building on this foundation of self-compassion, KC devised the powerful practical approach that has exploded in popularity through her TikTok account, @domesticblisters. The secret is to simplify your to-do list and to find creative workarounds that accommodate your limited time and energy. In this book, you’ll learn exactly how to customize your cleaning strategy and rebuild your relationship with your home, including:

-How to see chores as kindnesses to your future self, not as a reflection of your worth
-How to start by setting priorities
-How to stagger tasks so you won’t procrastinate
-How to clean in quick bursts within your existing daily routine
-How to use creative shortcuts to transform a room from messy to functional

With KC’s help, your home will feel like a sanctuary again. It will become a place to rest, even when things aren’t finished. You will move with ease, and peace and calm will edge out guilt, self-criticism, and endless checklists. They have no place here.
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Popular Highlights in this book

From the Publisher

Editorial Reviews

Review

“…Davis’s work is honest and funny. But most notably, it is kind...She handles conversations around relationships, mental health, addiction, food, and body image with care and vulnerability.” -- Sarah Wheeler ― Romper

“The funny hacks Davis has come up with along the way to make her own life work better—veggies in the fridge door, a rack for dirty dishes as well as clean, a family closet to cut down on trips to put away clean clothes—are not meant as prescriptions, but as inspiration.” -- Rebecca Onion ―
Slate

“Davis encourages her followers to see their chores not as moral obligations but rather as care tasks they deserve. As you get started, she suggests asking yourself, ‘How can I make my home serve me better?’”
-- Jacqueline Pinedo ― Los Angeles Times

How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing covers topics such as building momentum by cleaning in short bursts and calming rituals that can help you deal with feeling overwhelmed. Her solutions encourage people to let go of perfectionism and help those with mental or physical illness, or who are going through a hard time, have a healthier relationship with their homes.” -- Jura Koncius ― The Washington Post

"This is the kindest, gentlest guide to the Sisyphean tasks of cleaning, grooming and generally keeping oneself alive. Part pep talk, part guidebook, KC Davis’ tips are aloe vera for a burned-out brain." -- Lauren Migaki ―
NPR.org

"An honest and compassionate exploration of the many traps that leave us feeling like we've failed,
How to Keep House While Drowning is filled with hard-won advice that will change the way you view your space, your habits, and (most importantly) yourself." --Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy, authors of No Hard Feelings and Big Feelings

"How to Keep House While Drowning" acknowledges the less-frequently addressed challenges many people face that keep us from easily keeping up home care such as depression, ADHD, postpartum, or simply a lack of support. This short guide introduces six realistic principles from a professional counselor on how to approach home care without trying to conquer countless to-do lists.” –
Business Insider

“We all struggle to balance the many demands on our time, energy and sanity from time to time. This short, easily-read volume has solid tips for coping... In the context of this book, making your housekeeping more manageable can enhance the functionality of your life.” – Jamie Gold, CKD, CAPS, MCCWC

“If keeping up with chores feels like a full-time job, licensed therapist and
How to Keep House While Drowning author KC Davis has a subtle, but radical, approach to help you manage the demands of housekeeping... In fact, she says homes do not have to look like the cover of an interior design magazine to serve their function—so embrace the mess.” -Oprah Daily


“In her book, "How to Keep House While Drowning," Davis explains how to be gentle with yourself while also caring for yourself and your home in a way that works best for you. Her gentle approach to care tasks is what keeps people coming back. It’s the validation that we all need.” -Jacalyn Wetzel,
Upworthy

About the Author

KC Davis is the bestselling author of How to Keep House While Drowning. A licensed therapist, she is the creator of the popular Struggle Care website, Instagram, and the Domestic Blisters TikTok. KC has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, Slate, Well + Good, Good Inside with Dr. Becky, Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris, among dozens of other media. KC Davis lives in Houston with her husband and daughters.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ S&S/Simon Element (April 26, 2022)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 160 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1668002841
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1668002841
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5 x 0.6 x 7 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 7,836 ratings

About the author

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KC Davis
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KC’s compassionate and practical approach to self-care for those dealing with mental health, physical illness, and hard seasons of life has drawn over two million followers on social media. Her book, “How to Keep House While Drowning'' has sold over 350,000 copies and is currently an Amazon bestseller. Her new book “Who Deserves Your Love” is set to publish in May of 2025 and will bring her revolutionary perspective shifting philosophy to the world of relationship struggles.

KC Davis began her therapy journey at 16 when she entered treatment for drug addiction and mental health issues. After getting sober she became a speaker and advocate for mental health and recovery. Professionally, KC has worked most of her career in the field of addiction in roles such a therapist, consultant, and executive director. She lives in Houston with her husband and two daughters.

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
7,836 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book helpful for mental struggles and focusing issues. They describe it as a powerful read that encourages self-kindness. The writing is described as simple and easy to understand. Readers appreciate the concrete ideas and suggestions for organizing in a straightforward manner. The cleaning advice provided is also appreciated for its simplicity and manageability.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

288 customers mention "Helpfulness"278 positive10 negative

Customers find the book helpful for mental struggles. They say it helps shift their mindset, provides useful solutions to household challenges, and teaches them how to view tasks differently. Readers appreciate the author's relevant experience and find it reassuring.

"...Enjoyable, kind, useful, and ingenious. Definitely recommended." Read more

"...It not only tells thr story of the writer but it gives you tips and tricks if you struggle mentally...." Read more

"...It's a new way of thinking and changing one's mindset. I originally listened to the audiobook and borrowed the book from the library...." Read more

"...This book helped me get back on track while helping me be gentle with myself as I got back to a more calm season. Incredibly helpful for me." Read more

154 customers mention "Book value"154 positive0 negative

Customers find the book useful and enjoyable. They appreciate its concise writing style and helpful content. Many readers recommend it as a good resource for struggling with issues like housekeeping.

"...Enjoyable, kind, useful, and ingenious. Definitely recommended." Read more

"I love this book. It not only tells thr story of the writer but it gives you tips and tricks if you struggle mentally...." Read more

"Great book, taught me a lot!!" Read more

"...getting me started in the right direction of having a home that is functional and I feel proud of...." Read more

137 customers mention "Morality"137 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's morality. They find it compassionate and tender, encouraging self-kindness and treating oneself well. The author's nonjudgmental attitude is calming and empowering, and the book speaks to their hearts.

"...It’s about giving yourself permission to not feel guilty if your efforts don’t measure up to absolute perfection in every little detail, in every..." Read more

"I love this book. It not only tells thr story of the writer but it gives you tips and tricks if you struggle mentally...." Read more

"...This book helped me get back on track while helping me be gentle with myself as I got back to a more calm season. Incredibly helpful for me." Read more

"...my house not being immaculate at all times, and have a healthier attitude about why and in what way should I try to keep house...." Read more

127 customers mention "Readability"120 positive7 negative

Customers find the book easy to understand and manageable. They appreciate the simple, doable life hacks that help build momentum. The author is down-to-earth and the book is structured for various reading styles with clear explanations for metaphors. The lessons are easy to apply not only to housework, but also to their full-time day.

"...style were selected specifically because they help to facilitate reading for those with ADHD, dyslexia, and more...." Read more

"...It's small so you can take it on the go it's an easy read I personally love it." Read more

"I love love love this book! It's short (thin), easy to read, and the author seems to be talking to me, rather than at me or about the person I..." Read more

"...totally spoke to me in a way that made me cry, smile, and feel understood in a way I didn't realize was possible...." Read more

27 customers mention "Ideas"27 positive0 negative

Customers find the book provides concrete ideas and suggestions for re-framing their approach to cleaning. They appreciate the creative, gentle, and approachable approaches. The book helps readers examine their ideas and feelings about cleaning themselves and their spaces. It offers practical solutions in a kind and supportive manner.

"...Enjoyable, kind, useful, and ingenious. Definitely recommended." Read more

"...It's the least intimidating book I've ever read, since it's divided into little small bites and chapters, I can fit in reading little bits at a time..." Read more

"...I love that the main ideas are highlighted. She makes it easy for those of us with non-neurotypical brains to absorb and use...." Read more

"...person has helped me in the last few months with relevant and respectful suggestions that have really "fit" for me and made a difference in my day..." Read more

19 customers mention "Organization"19 positive0 negative

Customers find the book's organization straightforward and easy to follow. They appreciate the manageable steps for cleaning and organizing a room. The book provides a comprehensive overview of organization and cleaning without oversimplifying or dumbing down the concepts.

"...It was also organize in a very straightforward manner that I think will be easy to look back into...." Read more

"This is a great resource for putting together manageable steps to keep your house, clean or clean enough so that you can function...." Read more

"...And, it's accessible! The book is clearly organized, provides literal explanations of all figurative examples, has plenty of extra materials, and..." Read more

"...This book broke down the building blocks of organization and cleaning, but it didn't oversimplify or "dumb it down"...." Read more

17 customers mention "Cleaning advice"17 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's cleaning advice. They find it accessible and helpful for keeping their homes organized and tidy. The simple approach to cleaning and organization helps them feel good about their homes.

"...for putting together manageable steps to keep your house, clean or clean enough so that you can function...." Read more

"...She does offer some great cleaning advice (the 5 things rule in invaluable) but I feel like she's telling people it's ok to wallow in their mess..." Read more

"...If you are a person, this book is for you. It's about so much more than cleaning. And, it's accessible!..." Read more

"I love this simple approach to cleaning and organization...." Read more

21 customers mention "Tone"11 positive10 negative

Customers have different views on the book's tone. Some find it straightforward and relatable, providing helpful advice and realistic goals. Others mention issues with the binding, underwhelming content, and unprofessional parts.

"...Chapters are short, simple, easy to follow, and to-the-point...." Read more

"...when cleaning a messy space, but other than that I thought she was a bit whiny and I did not like her snipe to at least 2 others, Maria Kondo and..." Read more

"Concise and to the point but done so in a way that makes it feel like she’s giving you a hug I so desperately did not know I needed…thank you...." Read more

"...But this book takes it too far and has honestly some the worst recommendations...." Read more

Just got this and I already feel a difference
5 out of 5 stars
Just got this and I already feel a difference
I just got this book today and I'm about a quarter into it and I feel the difference in this compared to other self help advice books. I struggle with ADHD and OCD and while many might think OCD would make me a clean freak it does not. Instead it just burdens me with immense shame and guilt that make completing tasks like basic cleaning very difficult. This book is very good in how it's written to make it easy for neurodivergent minds to understand. Simple phrasing and even using of sans font, bold for the most important parts, and small sections that get to the point which I really appreciate since it's very hard with ADHD to keep my attention and understand what is being said otherwise. This book is not a strict guide on how you should clean, instead it's more about how you can rethink cleaning and manage what you can when you can. So often do self help guides neglect those of us who are struggling the most but this one doesn't. If you're looking for a guide for how to have an immaculate and "perfect" home this isn't it. This is for those of us who are genuinely struggling with the things that come easy to others. The principals in this book can be broadened to other parts of our lives and discovering what we actually need versus what others say we should be achieving. I am very thankful for all the understanding and kindness in this book.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on February 13, 2025
    As someone who works part-time and writes in most other times, I struggle to have a clean house. I know I’m not alone. How to Keep House While Drowning was written by a mother who was suffering from COVID lockdown and postpartum depression after the birth of her second child, whose husband worked full-time, seven days a week. She, too, struggled, until she found a new way of looking at the process. Her secret? (Well, one of many…) The cleanliness or functionality of your house is not a moral issue. There is no reason to feel guilty or ashamed if you can’t get all of it done and still have time to rest.

    Instead of cleanliness, she focuses on functionality, on making your living space work for you, not the other way ‘round. Most of her little suggestions and tips/tricks were mind-blowing for me simply because I’d not thought of them that way. Of course, a simple shift of perspective is only the beginning; it takes practical action, too, for a shift toward real-life functionality in the home. Things like using baskets to organize, putting laundry and waste baskets in every room, and cleaning a room in categories – prioritizing for health and safety first. For example, pick up trash first, dirty dishes second, since those can carry bacteria, germs, etc. Then pick up trip hazards and carry on from there. So many great ideas can be found in this little book!

    But this book applies to more than just cleaning house. It’s about doing the best you can do in a particular circumstance, a rough day, or even a specific moment. It’s about giving yourself permission to not feel guilty if your efforts don’t measure up to absolute perfection in every little detail, in every area of your own personal world. Since finishing How to Keep House, I’ve found myself applying KC’s attitudes and permissions in other areas of my life too—like my schedule—and it’s really helped.

    In addition, Author KC Davis worked to make the book accessible for readers with reading challenges. Fonts and formatting style were selected specifically because they help to facilitate reading for those with ADHD, dyslexia, and more. Chapters are short, simple, easy to follow, and to-the-point. (Do note that the ebook, which is the format I purchased, doesn’t hold to that font style, but that is almost impossible to do for an e-reader device.)

    How to Keep House While Drowning is billed as a book for anyone feeling overwhelmed in their life. I know it’s definitely a worthwhile resource to have on hand. Even after reading it once, you may want to skim back through it to refresh your memory on different ideas and suggestions. Enjoyable, kind, useful, and ingenious. Definitely recommended.
    11 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on November 2, 2024
    I love this book. It not only tells thr story of the writer but it gives you tips and tricks if you struggle mentally. It's small so you can take it on the go it's an easy read I personally love it.
    18 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on October 15, 2023
    I love love love this book! It's short (thin), easy to read, and the author seems to be talking to me, rather than at me or about the person I could be if I only had time and no personal barriers (as seems to be the problem with so many other self-help books and online programs). Ms. Davis acknowledges that we all have different parts of our lives that can be barriers. ADHD, depression, fatigue, anxiety and more. If you are a single parent with one or more children, or you work multiple jobs to make ends meet, or you have the seemingly perfect marriage, or you are able to or not able to leave your job at work, or you are in survival mode daily, or you just look at your space and feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start, or your head is filled with other thoughts from other people about how your home and space "should be", this book can work for you. Ms. Davis reminds the reader to focus on thinking about making spaces functional. They don't have to be sterile or even organized to the standards of what we often think they should be. Our spaces need to be functional for the people who live in them. For example, if it's easier to leave clothes on the back of a chair than to put them folded neatly in a drawer and that's functional to you, then do this. She also repeatedly reminds her reader about care tasks being "morally neutral". This helps us remove the shame we too often feel. One final note to consider when deciding if this book might be for you, is that unlike with books and programs that exist online and in print, "how to keep house while drowning" is NOT a program. It's, as Ms. Davis says, "a philosophy". It's a new way of thinking and changing one's mindset. I originally listened to the audiobook and borrowed the book from the library. I decided I needed to buy my own copy. This is the book that makes sense to me. (Ms. Davis has a great TED talk video online about laundry that provides an idea of what you can learn on the book.
    86 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 15, 2025
    I had just had our fourth baby via emergency c section twelve weeks early and between going back and forth two hours a day to the NICU to be with her, hurrying back home to be available for our other children and pumping around the clock I was DROWNING!!!! This book helped me get back on track while helping me be gentle with myself as I got back to a more calm season. Incredibly helpful for me.
    14 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 29, 2025
    Great book, taught me a lot!!
  • Reviewed in the United States on March 10, 2025
    Great content & advice.

Top reviews from other countries

Translate all reviews to English
  • Tatiane Freitas
    5.0 out of 5 stars Este livro é um abraço
    Reviewed in Brazil on July 20, 2024
    Fácil de ler, muito informativo e acolhedor. Vale a pena pra qualquer um que se cobre muito pra ser bom nas tarefas domésticas.
    Report
  • Kindle-Kunde
    5.0 out of 5 stars The book everyone needs in their life
    Reviewed in Germany on February 28, 2025
    From shame to actually manageable game. This therapist knows what she is talking about. This actually helped me maintain long lasting change, even 2 years later. Better than those big motivation splurged, where I think I'll change my life at once and inevitably crash out and hate myself for it. This is sustainable change
  • B. B.
    2.0 out of 5 stars Voor vrouwen geschreven
    Reviewed in the Netherlands on January 21, 2024
    Dit is duidelijk geschreven voor een vrouwelijk publiek. Als man haal je hier weinig uit. Om the illustreren wat ik bedoel volgt hier een citaat:

    "The next time the [inner] bully starts talking and and the little self starts shrinking, you can call on your compasionate observer self. They say to the bully, "You are not being helpful and I need you to stop." And they turn to the little self and say, "I know you are in pain, and I know you feel like you are failing. But you aren't. It is not a moral failing to be untidy. Being unwell and struggling do not make you unworthy of kindness. You are going to be okay. I am here with you".

    Need I say more? Het hele boek gaat zo door. De tijd die het kost om te lezen kan je beter besteden aan het opruimen.
  • Mary T. Love
    5.0 out of 5 stars The best I've ever come across
    Reviewed in Canada on June 4, 2021
    First off, I almost never write reviews. I don't even answer people's texts, when am I gonna be sitting around writing reviews? But I am doing it for this book in the hope that someone in a situation like mine sees it and is convinced to give this book a try. It's that important.

    About me: chronic depression, anxiety, single parent. Recently diagnosed with ADHD and trying to sort that out, while still never having found an arrangement of therapies that gets me to mostly functional. If anything, as I get older I'm getting less able to cope with simple daily routines and every new thing lands like a sack of bricks that is too overwhelming to contemplate. I have read dozens of books, blogs, tried apps, made lists, anything to help me handle the basics in a way approximating something like a healthy neurotypical.

    This book blew me away. It's short - almost a pamphlet. You won't get bogged down in the first chapter and leave it somewhere "meaning to get back to it." It's simple. You don't have to remember multiple acronyms or have lists and sublists and timers. It's exceptionally compassionate and inclusive - I loved the acknowledgement that "drowning" could be: life changes, overwork, new babies, mental illness, physical restrictions, neurodivergence, anything that affects your resources and functionality. There is a repetition of non-judgment that is soothing if you've spent a lifetime beating yourself up.

    But most importantly: it was advice I've never seen before. How rare is that? Everyone has heard "start with one area" or "only touch something once" or any of the other tips that seem to help a lot of folks. This gave me a strategy I had not already thought of that helped me FOCUS and take care of progressive layers that would make me feel more comfortable and safe in my space at each step.

    I am at risk of writing something longer than the book itself, so I'll stop.

    TL;DR : If you've ever stared at the chaos and mess around you and just curled up and faced the wall for a cry, buy this book.
  • D. Cuming
    5.0 out of 5 stars An absolute life saver
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on November 22, 2023
    If you are neurospicy, suspected neurospicy, have depression, anxiety or a chronic illness you NEED this book. Absolutely changed my life. The advice is written with such care and compassion it's like being given a warm hug and then having your hand held while you are gently encouraged to do whatever it is possible for you to do in the spirit that keeping house is actually a form or self-care. I recommend this to EVERYONE. So good, I bought it on Kindle AND as a physical book.