It could be the shift in our thinking these days or maybe it was always like this. Taking responsibility seems to be less and less of an American trait among adults and, therefore, it will be a less likely trait of our children. As ashamed as I am to admit this, it took me over 30 years to begin to accept responsibility for my actions and for the situations I was at in life. When I did, EVERYTHING CHANGED.
When the switch got flipped for me, I was reading a book a friend suggested: The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson. A week before I began the book, I had just encountered what felt like a devastating blow to my business. My earnings dropped over $3,000 in just two weeks. Things were not going as I had planned. I fell far shy of the goals I had set for myself. All the time and effort I had poured into my business looked as if it had not paid off and I felt like I lost control of where I was going. So I did what most people would do… I blamed everyone except for myself. I starting pointing the finger and saying, “this person didn’t do what they were supposed to do and this person didn’t do that, etc.” To me, there were a bunch of people at fault and none were the person in the mirror.
You know when you lie about something long enough, you start to believe it? Well, it works the same way when you’re blaming others long enough. The more you blame others, the easier it becomes and the more you believe it yourself. You will actually start believing it’s their fault. The problem with that is, it takes the focus off of the one person that can change the circumstances… YOU. The only person you can control is you. You can’t control other people’s actions.
I prayed for things to get back on track. I expected God to just make it easy for me and reward me for the work I had already done. Well, He answered my prayers in a very clever way. He decided to answer them by forcing me to grow personally. He used the book I mentioned above. I received many great messages from that book, but if I read the book and only got this one thing out of it, it was worth the entire read. The one thing was a quote by John Burroughs that changed my life and it came right when I needed it. It read, “A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.” I posted it at the beginning of this post and now I’ll post it again below. It’s that important.
A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.
That quote hit my like a ton of bricks in the face. The entire week before reading that quote I had blamed everyone else for what was happening with MY business. In fact, my entire life before reading that quote I had blamed others for my circumstances. I blamed student loan companies for requiring such high payments. I blamed my law school for raising prices after I had already been attending. I did the same with my undergraduate college. I blamed my job for not paying me enough and putting me in a tough situation financially. No one had been given a raise in over 5 years because my employer was near broke and didn’t know how to manage money and because of that, I paid for it… literally.
My entire life was a huge blame game until I read that quote. It changed everything for me. It’s so simple that most people won’t even see the power in its truth. Here’s the simple breakdown: I have failed many times… MANY times. You learn through failure. It’s a part of life. You show me someone who has never failed and I will show you someone who has never been successful. You reach success through failing. Although I have failed many times, I am NOT a failure. I will never be one and, therefore, I will never blame somebody else for my circumstances.
I look at blaming as a form of whining now. Whenever I see someone post on social media or hear them complain about their jobs, how much debt their in, their horrible co-workers, their family, etc. I only see how much they are whining and that their focus is on everything except what it needs to be on to change things… themselves.
HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS
"The superior man blames himself. The inferior man blames others." - Don ShulaNo matter where you come from, no matter what situation you are in, no matter how bad of a hand you feel that life has dealt you, it’s your fault. The first time I heard a friend say that, the quote above popped in my head. He’s was right. IT IS YOUR FAULT. The good news? Well, YOU can do something about it. That’s right… YOU can and only you can. It’s a decision. That’s what it boils down to; a simple decision. You either are or you’re not going to take responsibility for your circumstances.
Here’s what happened to me when I took full responsibility for my actions. I bounced back. Not only did my business get back to where it was, but it far surpassed it. Soon I was earning in two weeks what I was previously earning in one month. Not only that, I was helping other people do the same. I eliminated over $100,000 of student loan and credit card debt in under two years. My wife and I paid for our wedding in cash. We more than replaced my salary in under a year’s time and we have given ourselves the opportunity for complete time freedom for the rest of our lives. It was as simple as making a decision to turn the finger around and point it at myself. It was as simple as that.
There’s a glaring truth in the book and I’ve posted it below. We are on one of two paths in life. Which one are you on?
“If you want to measure where you are, if you want to know whether you’re on the success curve or on the failure curve, or if you want to assess anyone else and determine which curve they’re on, here’s how. There is one attitude, one state of mind, which overwhelmingly predominates either side of the curve. The predominant state of mind displayed by those people on the failure curve is blame. The predominant state of mind displayed by those people on the success curve is responsibility.” – The Slight Edge
http://sparkinginterests.wordpress.com/2014/10/19/i-have-good-news-for-you-its-your-fault/
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Slight Edge book purchase was great will buy again.⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Love this book. The cover was clean and removable if necessary a d easy to wipe off if oil/water is present on hands or surfaces. Hardback very sturdy for years to come in our library. Short easy to read 10 pages a day and use a bookmark with out damaging the pages. Pages kept well. Shipment came fast. Will recommend to purchase from this vendor. Thanks for my book. Everyone on my TLC Team orders this book to start reading for our book club so we will share this vendor to purchase from.⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
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One of the best book I have ever read 👍
Reviewed in India on June 27, 2020