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Larry Dressler

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Standing in the Fire: Leading High-Heat Meetings with Clarity, Calm, and Courage Paperback – March 8, 2010

by Larry Dressler (Author)

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Real organizational change isn’t brought about by decree, pressure, permission, or even persuasion. Sustained change comes when people are passionately and personally committed to a future that they have helped to shape. If you want to turn your organization’s cynics into owners, give them a voice in the decisions that impact their work. Consensus Through Conversation shows how.

Consensus is a cooperative process in which all of a group’s members develop and agree to actively support a decision. It’s not mere acquiescence—consensus goes several steps beyond, transforming people from resigned instruction-followers to dedicated champions of an idea. Larry Dressler shows you exactly how to prepare for a successful consensus-building process, takes you step-by-step through that process, and offers tips for success and traps to avoid. Throughout, he provides a host of tools and examples that make this an eminently practical and immediately useful guide.

Consensus Through Conversation will give you the tools you need to use consensus effectively in your organization. It is a handy, vital reference that you will turn to again and again in your efforts to tackle high stakes issues, make high quality decisions, and build enthusiasm and commitment to action.

Print length

240 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Berrett-Koehler Publishers
Publication date

March 8, 2010
Dimensions

6 x 0.62 x 9 inches
ISBN-10

1576759709
ISBN-13

978-1576759707
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Larry Dressler helps us to increase our capacities and practices to lead meetings that are often a test by fire, enabling us to feel the burn and not be burned out but rather be inspired to achieve more effective outcomes.”
—Susan A. Bouchard, Senior Business Development Manager, Cisco Systems Inc., and author of Enterprise Web 2.0 Fundamentals

“Clear and potent, Standing in the Fire presents a transformed way of being for conveners and facilitators of conflictual meetings. Learning to appreciate and apply its principles and practices sets the stage for breakthrough possibilities for today’s challenged leaders.”
--Juanita Brown and David Isaacs, coauthors of The World Café

“Dressler offers a new perspective and a new set of tools to help channel fire into transformative outcomes. This is a must-read for anyone who must navigate through a sea of emotionally charged issues.”
—Russell Coff, Associate Professor of Organization and Management, Emory University

“Today’s business leaders have to practice the capacity to stand with conflict and confusion in the kinds of challenges they face. Larry Dressler’s fine book gives everyone a framework to understand what’s going on in these moments and the skills to stand in a powerful combination of strength and sensitivity.”
—Christina Baldwin and Ann Linnea, coauthors of The Circle Way

“Larry Dressler writes with clarity and deep understanding. He provides an accessible perspective and practical wisdom for moving past the urge to react when things go scarily out of control.”
—Saul Eisen, PhD, Program Coordinator, Organization Development Program, Sonoma State University

“Standing in the Fire affirmed for me that learning to lead others through uncertainty and conflict is, at its heart, a spiritual journey. Larry Dressler has written another provocative and inspiring book that I’ll use and share with colleagues for many years to come.”
—Steve Fox, Executive Vice President, Central Conference of American Rabbis

“We mediators and facilitators pride ourselves in having a sophisticated understanding of group processes, of complex issues, and of what makes groups tick. But self-awareness, which is crucial in this profession, is sometimes elusive. Larry Dressler challenges us to look deeply at who we are and how we can best use ourselves in our work.”
—Mary Margaret Golten, Partner, CDR Associates

“The more complex the challenges, the more likely the solutions involve passing through the flames of change. Offering compelling wisdom from the inside out, Standing in the Fire equips you to support groups in making it through. Step in with both feet!”
—Peggy Holman, coauthor and coeditor, The Change Handbook

“Larry Dressler has done a remarkable job of unpacking what it takes to walk thoughtfully, deliberately, and effectively through even the most challenging leadership moments.”
—Terry Kellogg, Chief Executive Director, 1% for the Planet

“One’s being has as much impact as one’s doing and Larry shares stories and insights that deepen one's capacity to be and do with integrity and intention.”
—Carolyn J. Lukensmeyer, President and founder, AmericaSpeaks

“No matter what our job titles are, Larry Dressler teaches us how the toughest work 'out there' is always an opportunity to do the work 'in here’.”
—Jennifer Orgolini, Sustainability Director, New Belgium Brewing

“Standing in the Fire argues that change requires not only the right tools wielded by skilled hands but more importantly the knowing heart of a facilitator to foster true transformation in people and institutions.”
—Paul Michalec, Program Chair, Curriculum and Instruction, Morgridge College of Education, University of Denver

“Larry touches the heart of the matter for those of us who are called to do the work of opening and holding space for learning and transformation. To be ourselves in the fire takes an inner strength that does not come for free. Larry’s invitation to practice this stance in our own way is most timely.”
—Toke Paludan Moeller, cofounder, The Art of Hosting

“Eloquent, clear, and wise. Key distinctions in the Being of facilitation are grounded in pragmatic practices that really work.”
—Doug Silsbee, author of Presence-Based Coaching

“Dressler speaks not with the voice of abstract authority but as one fire tender to another. He shows us how personal practice transforms facilitation into an ongoing journey of self-discovery and self-mastery, and he offers a wealth of tips for strengthening our presence, agility, and joy along the way.”
—Susan Szpakowski, Executive Director, ALIA Institute

About the Author

Larry Dressler is president of Blue Wing Consulting. He has designed and facilitated high-stakes meetings in large corporations like Mitsubishi, Nissan, and Starbucks for over fifteen years. He has also assisted in important community deliberations involving diverse stakeholders: farm workers in Washington State, homeless artisans on Skid Row in Los Angeles, and indigenous leaders in the Ecuadorian Amazon.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

THE POWER OF FIRE

CAN YOU REMEMBER THE MOST intense high-heat moment you’ve faced working with a group? One of my most memorable moments happened fairly early in my career, but I remember it vividly. Catherine, my consulting partner at the time, and I were working with a group of federal law enforcement officers. A conflict between two divisions of the agency had escalated over several months, and just prior to our first meeting, a few employees were caught vandalizing the vehicles of their co-workers by scratching the car doors with keys. People could hardly remember the origin of the conflict, but both factions believed they were in the right. The rift had taken on a life of its own and was now being played out in a cycle of revenge and retaliation.

At the first meeting everyone arrived on time, and as the officers sat down and positioned their chairs, the seating configuration started to look more and more like two circles. The geography of the conflict was clear from the outset, and the tension in the room was palpable. As they waited for the meeting to begin, people sat with crossed arms and legs, hardly able to look at members of the other group. Just as we were about to begin, Catherine and I noticed that everyone was wearing a gun.

All I could think about in that moment was the twenty or so guns strapped to people who were really angry at each other. My heart was beating fast, and my face felt flushed. I remember looking toward the exit for reassurance. In that moment, I had no idea what to do or say, and Catherine looked only slightly more composed.

What Gets Ignited

It doesn’t take firearms to remind us of our vulnerability when we step into the room as the convener of a high-stakes meeting. Sometimes it takes only a skeptically raised eyebrow from a powerful person in the room; other times, a realization that the group will run out of time before achieving its goal. What creates heat for each of us depends largely on our personal hot buttons.

When these buttons are pushed, two kinds of energy can be ignited. One kind of energy connects to an age-old human survival instinct, the self-protective reaction. It’s habitual, often emotionally charged, and designed to bring us back to our comfort zone. The second kind of energy can be accessed only if we can ask ourselves, Who do I want to be right now? This question ignites the energy of deliberate choice and wise action. This book is about building our capacity to ignite the second energy, even when our fears and ego encourage us to do otherwise.

What Is the Who?

Staring into the heat of a challenging group dynamic, we instinctively want to do something. We attempt to find just the right intervention that will make things easier for the group or perhaps for us. With little awareness of our internal dialogue or our emotional state, we take action. And too often that action turns out to be either the wrong choice or a reasonable choice poorly executed. Too often, no action was needed at all. What was needed was a facilitative leader who could serve as a steady, impartial, purposeful presence in the room, holding the space of the conversation with good humor, resoluteness, and compassion.

Who we are in these moments of fire is in itself a powerful intervention. We do not need to be the picture of charisma or Zen-like detachment. Instead we need to stand in a way that has integrity for us and is in service to the group we are there to assist. Our power comes from the realization that we always have a choice about which who shows up.

IN SEARCH OF HOT SPOTS

Without passion, conviction, and yearning, there would be no human fire. And without fire, groups would produce very little of interest or positive impact. We need fire to progress, but we also need to help people channel its heat. That’s the job of fire tenders—people who know how to bring out the life-generating, creative potential of group fire.

Cultivating the creative potential of fire is the only useful approach, because fire suppression doesn’t work. Too many leaders and institutions avoid or stifle the critical conversations that need to happen, and the results are often disastrous. Many case studies have been written about Enron and its predominant culture, in which challenging the status quo or raising concerns was simply not acceptable. Dissent was discouraged in a wide variety of subtle and not-so-subtle ways. The policy of suppression ultimately led to the demise of the company. In order to create organizations and communities in which people feel safe speaking their truth, we need leaders who are both skillful at process and who possess the capacity to remain self-aware, open, and fluid even as others struggle with dissent, confusion, and fear.

Fire tenders are drawn to the hot spots of social existence because they know that where there is heat, there is the possibility of transformation. Though they seek out and cultivate heat with great skill, they know their most important tool is their interior self—their mindset, emotional state, and the way they occupy their bodies. They understand that no matter what is producing heat “out there” in the group, they control their own thermostat.

Standing in Service to the Group

Standing is a word with many meanings. When we say, “My decision stands,” the decision remains valid or effective. When we say, “I can’t stand it,” we mean endure or tolerate. When we “stand up,” we are rising to our feet or picking ourselves up. When we communicate “our stand” on an issue, the word refers to an attitude or outlook. “Standing in the fire” encompasses all those meanings. As leaders, we must remain effective in our facilitative roles. Often we need to endure situations we experience as uncomfortable. Inevitably we are knocked off balance by the intense energy of others and must pick ourselves up quickly and regain our equilibrium. When we stand as fire tenders, we are choosing a particular set of attitudes—a way of seeing what is happening and who we are in the moment.

This book explores six interrelated ways of standing in the fire. You will learn what it is like to stand with self-awareness, presence, receptivity, intention, fluidity, and compassion. For each of these ways of standing in the fire, this book describes the capacities you need to succeed.

A Lifetime of Practice

Masterful fire tenders have a set of personal practices aimed at cultivating self-awareness and effective action. These practices help us choose our way of standing when we face the fire. Every moment, whether inside or outside a meeting, is an opportunity to practice. We can develop ongoing practices that aid us in developing everyday readiness. We can engage in special practices for our arrival at meetings, and we can use practices that help us recover during a meeting when a hot button gets pushed. We need practices that help us to reflect and to renew ourselves after we have come through a human firestorm. Contrary to the popular saying, practice does not “make perfect.” Instead, practice is where we can break through the illusions of perfectionism and control as we learn to become present to our own wisdom during moments in which others find it difficult to access theirs.

Inviting Fire

As we engage in practice and derive new insights from our experiences in groups, we come to realize that destructive fires like distraction, fear, and aggression are all self-inflicted. As we develop greater mastery, we learn to recognize dissent and confusion as old, familiar friends. We welcome inconvenient surprises as useful fuel, and we come to view group breakdowns as the natural precursor to breakthroughs.

The more we work with fire, the more we see it as a source of transformation not only for groups, but also for us as agents of change. Each time we invite dissent, possibility, suffering, passion, or confusion into the room, we must also invite that which is calm, clear, and courageous within us—our wisest, most centered self. Each time we accept this invitation, we honor a proposition as old as humankind’s relationship with fire—that conversation and human connection will change this world for the better.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Berrett-Koehler Publishers; 1st edition (March 8, 2010)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 240 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1576759709
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1576759707
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.06 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.62 x 9 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #304,621 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #284 in Running Meetings & Presentations (Books)
- #740 in Human Resources & Personnel Management (Books)
- #1,112 in Communication Skills

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Larry Dressler

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Larry Dressler has dedicated most of his life to understanding how people work out their differences, discover common ground, and mobilize collective action. As a young boy he attended schools where bullying, gang conflict, and violence were everyday occurrences. From an early age he learned to navigate the hallways and the larger world by deciphering subtle social dynamics and building resilient relationships. Over the years a central questions emerged for Larry: What are the human qualities that enable one to bring peace, clarity, and hopefulness into situations that are filled with conflict, confusion, and despair?

Larry continues to embrace this question as a widely recognized organizational development consultant and process facilitator. He has consulted with hundreds of organizations, including Cisco Systems, Pediatric AIDS Foundation, Baxter Healthcare, New Belgium Brewing, Starbucks, Nissan Motors, and 1% for the Planet. His extraordinary skill and presence as a "gentle instigator of breakthrough conversations" have brought him to such diverse settings as the headquarters of companies in 30 industries, a circus school in Colorado, and a solar-powered chocolate factory in the Amazon rainforest.

Today Larry spends his time helping leaders convene "think tanks" and "action learning experiences" aimed at fostering a more just society, restoring the natural environment, and creating a vibrant economy. He also delivers keynotes and leadership development seminars all over the world on Standing in the Fire™ and Fierce Conversations™.

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Chris Karam

An approach to dealing with group "fire" that you can recall and use even when you are feeling under fire

Reviewed in the United States on October 22, 2013

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I imagine that all of us can remember being in a meeting and feeling like we were standing in fire - "the state in which things feel uncomfortable, emotionally intense, and at times personal" - whether professionally or personally, whether dealing with one person or with a group. For facilitators, our intent is generally quite positive: maybe we are facilitating a meeting with the hope that our clients achieve the strategic plan they need and desire; maybe we are trying to help a team develop trust in order to be more productive. We step into the room and so many times it feels like there is at least one person throwing lit torches at us, or at others in the room, and we feel thrown off balance. For those of us dealing with groups that have fire, it can be quite frightening, with a sense of being outnumbered, and that feeling of fright can paralyze us or move us to actions not indicative of our skills or helpful intents. To the extent that any model to help us deal with this situation can be simple enough for our frightened, amygdala-controlled brains to recall and process, we have something incredibly useful.

Larry's book, Standing in the Fire: Leading High-Heat Meetings with Clarity, Calm, and Courage , offers a clear, compelling and helpful description of his model and techniques for dealing with group fire, starting with the potential usefulness of fire. For me, his clarity and the resulting *relative* simplicity of his approach has made my work of putting his model and techniques into practice *relatively* easier than other models and techniques I have tried. (Lest I sound like an arrogant fool, I must add this is neither easy nor simple work, this dealing with fire or putting models into practice!) By providing a reframe of the challenge from the inside-out, and then providing a full process approach, from preparation to post-mortem reflection, Dressler addressed the complexity of dealing with group fire without ever overwhelming me. His ability to do this is remarkable in such a readable prose.

His "Six Ways of Standing in the Fire" combined with the 4-Step Practice allows each person to find a practice tailored to wherever the fire most burns for that reader. Having six ways allows the reader to recognize the positive turns we can take with the various ways that we get in our own way. For example, "Stand with an Open Mind" reflects the challenge of those of us stuck with our habitual ways of seeing and thinking. Larry invites us to "dance with surprises," as an antidote to anticipating what might happen next, in order that we not get thrown off by what look like curve balls. Each approach is explained with enough detail and suggestions to help any willing practitioner put into practice the approach that the practitioner deems most helpful. When and if the reader is able and willing, s/he has the means with Larry's guidance to consider and try on the other practices, thereby adding crayons to one's coloring box for dealing with various fires in various environments and when we have our different capacities. (The Crayola reference is my tip to Dressler's low-key playfulness. This is serious work, but we can't take ourselves too seriously, or we risk initiating or exacerbating the fire ourselves.)

Whether you recognize your need to deal with fire as a facilitator, a team leader, a manager, a friend, spouse or parent, I strongly encourage you to read this book, which can help in all manner of fires: at home, at work, or even just within yourself.

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C. S. Newton

Fire Works

Reviewed in the United States on October 28, 2013

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The metaphor of Standing in the Fire works. It clearly reflects the passions that come together in the experiences and meetings the author describes...and well beyond. The paradox of meeting fire with calm, clarity, and courage is where the wisdom of this book speaks to me. I'm encouraged to be a fire tender, fire keeper, and fire guardian by recognizing, respecting, and making room for the passion that each one brings. Each person's fire brings energy to work and relationships. The calm, clarity, and courage bring the qualities needed (by a facilitator or anyone else) to ground our visions in our unique time and place. Because I work in more than one culture the truths of the author's message have and do serve me when working to harmonize our fires in English, Spanish, and Tz'tujil. Connie Scully Stouse Newton.

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CoryReviewer

Superb!

Reviewed in the United States on September 26, 2017

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Wonderful! This is the required text book I have for a group facilitation class in grad school.

He hits it right on the nose with so many issues. Basically, we have to deal with our own issues to be effective group facilitators. Be present, deal with the issues that triggers us, give up control, etc.

It's a very spiritual book that I think everyone should read even if they won't do any group leadership work at all!

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PDN coach

My internal facilitation guide

Reviewed in the United States on July 6, 2014

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"Standing in the Fire" is the book I recall when preparing myself (mentally, physically and spiritually) for guiding others, through coaching and facilitation, through growth, change, innovation, healthy conflict and all the other aspects of working, living and creating together.

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Eileen

An Authentic, present and free of personal agenda review

Reviewed in the United States on November 11, 2013

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I have known Larry for over 35 years, and therefore am not surprised that such an authentic and relevant book (tool) would be written with such grace and intelligence! I have lead L&D for large and small organizations, and presently have my own Leadership Development Consulting company. Standing in the Fire is a tool I look forward to recommending to and using with clients. In Larry's conclusion - he puts forth that "each conversation we convene might catalyze some small or large change in a world that's calling out for innovative, collaborative solutions;" this book, this author - has done just that... catalyzed change with his beautiful and impactful words of learning, guidance and truth. Thank You Larry!!!

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Beatrice B. Briggs

This book should be on the short list of essential reading for anyone who works with groups

Reviewed in the United States on October 26, 2013

Verified Purchase

This is the only book I am aware of that focuses on the personal challenges of dealing with what Larry calls "high-heat" situations. While this is definitely not a collection of "facilitation techniques", you can open it to any page and find clear ideas, illuminating examples and thought-provoking reflections about what it means to stand in the fire. Larry's candid account of his learning journey are an invitation to all of us to balance our focus on the group with a deep awareness of the need to do our own inner work.

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Ian Trimm

Game changer

Reviewed in the United States on July 11, 2015

Verified Purchase

I enjoyed reading this book for a college course . I will be reading this book repeatedly for years to come. This book has become a tremendous assets to me as further my carrier in the workplace. This book teaches how to conduct yourself in and out of work in touch situations.

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Alejandro Villarreal Parï¿½s

An Inward Bound Journey

Reviewed in the United States on October 28, 2013

Verified Purchase

This is the kind of book that you read more than one time. It goes to the core of what it is to be a facilitator. The principles and practices shared in the book are transformational, and the stories are great. Get ready to start working in yourself from the first page.

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