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This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence Kindle Edition

by John Piper (Author), Noel Piper (Foreword) Format: Kindle Edition

4.8 778 ratings

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Reflecting on forty years of matrimony, John Piper exalts the biblical meaning of marriage over its emotion, exhorting couples to keep their covenant for all the best reasons.

Even in the days when people commonly stayed married "'til death do us part," there has never been a generation whose view of marriage was high enough, says Pastor John Piper. That is all the more true in our casual times.

Though personal selfishness and cultural bondage obstruct the wonder of God's purpose, it is found in God's Word, where his design can awaken a glorious vision capable of freeing every person from small, Christ-ignoring, romance-intoxicated views. As Piper explains in reflecting on forty years of matrimony: "Most foundationally, marriage is the doing of God. And ultimately, marriage is the display of God. It displays the covenant-keeping love between Christ and his people to the world in a way that no other event or institution does. Marriage, therefore, is not mainly about being in love. It's mainly about telling the truth with our lives. And staying married is not about staying in love. It is about keeping covenant and putting the glory of Christ's covenant-keeping love on display."

This Momentary Marriage unpacks the biblical vision, its unexpected contours, and its weighty implications for married, single, divorced, and remarried alike.

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194 pages
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Crossway
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April 9, 2009
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More Books from John Piper

John Piper is founder and lead teacher of desiringGod.org and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary. He served for thirty-three years as the pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and is the author of more than fifty books, including Desiring God; Don’t Waste Your Life; and Reading the Bible Supernaturally.


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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Piper—a pastor, poet and parent—offers a biblical interpretation of and scriptural model for marriage. Piper has honed his distinctive voice—apparent even in his books—over 30 years of public speaking, teaching and preaching, but it's one most narrators ignore or find too challenging to interpret and integrate in their rendition; Grover Gardner makes an admirable effort, but listeners might find his tone incongruent with Piper's. Even if his reading lends a slightly removed and abstract feel to the work, Gardner manages to convey the author's remarkably insightful revelations of the mystery of God's marriage paradigm. A Crossways hardcover. (Aug.)
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Review

"Theologically, this book exalts human marriage as a metaphor for the ultimate love story in Christ. Practically, it applies that glorious vision of grace to our daily experiences in marriage, singleness, parenthood, and the most universal of human realities-sin. This book opens our eyes and guides our feet with the grace of Christ."
―Ray Ortlund, President, Renewal Ministries

"This book is a treasure in an era when the common perspective on marriage has been more shaped by sitcoms and self-help books than by Scripture. Dr. Piper lifts our hearts and minds to God's vision for marriage. Embracing God's design and purposes for marriage can make our homes tastes of heaven."
―Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author; Founder, Revive Our Heartsand True Woman

"This is not a 'how to' book on marriage. Instead, this is a 'why to' book. And that's what this culture desperately needs."
―Dennis Rainey, President and CEO, FamilyLife; Host, FamilyLife Today; author, Stepping Up

"Miss the radical message of this book and you'll miss the joyful point of marriage. Heed the surprising call of this book and you'll appreciate the sacred privilege of marriage that our culture fails to see."
―Larry Crabb, Jr., Distinguished Scholar in Residence, Colorado Christian University

"A highly original contribution to Christian teaching on marriage. A copy should be put into the hands of every couple preparing for lasting and loving wedlock."
―Charles Colson, Founder, Prison Fellowship and the Colson Center for Christian Worldview

"This book grew out of John Piper's forty years of experience in marriage and many years of parenting, pastoring, and studying Scripture. It is filled with rich, practical wisdom about the nature of marriage as a wonderful but temporary gift from God. I have taught about marriage for over thirty years, and I still found much that I could learn from this book."
―Wayne Grudem, Distinguished Research Professor of Theology and Biblical Studies, Phoenix Seminary

"The reason this book is so delightful is that it sets marriage within the matrix of the Bible's fundamental themes: the glory of God, the outworking of justification, the relationship between this life and the life to come, how husbands and wives are to interact with each other this side of the cross, and much more of the same. This is not another little 'how to' book-yet if its God-centered and gospel-centered theology is genuinely absorbed, so many of the 'how to' questions will be robustly answered."
―D. A. Carson, Theologian-at-Large, The Gospel Coalition

"John Piper's new book on marriage is an instant classic. It is at once biblical and devotional, the fruit of seasoned theological reflection and four decades of 'momentary' marriage."
―Andreas J. Köstenberger, Theologian in Residence, Fellowship Raleigh, North Carolina; Cofounder, Biblical Foundations

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00265VGS2
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Crossway; Reprint edition (April 9, 2009)
Publication date ‏ : ‎ April 9, 2009
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 832 KB
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
Print length ‏ : ‎ 194 pages
Page numbers source ISBN ‏ : ‎ 1844743926

Best Sellers Rank: #348,995 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
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4.8 778 ratings

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John Piper
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John Piper is founder and senior teacher of desiringGod.org and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary. For 33 years, he served as pastor at Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is the author of more than 50 books, and more than 30 years of his preaching and teaching is available free of charge at desiringGod.org. John and his wife, Noël, have four sons, one daughter, and fourteen grandchildren.
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Noël Piper
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Website: http://noelpiper.com/
There is one passage of Scripture that Noël Piper finds a way to use almost every time she speaks—Deuteronomy 11:1-19.
You shall therefore love the LORD your God. . . . You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul. . . . You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
She sees this passage building a framework for a life that glorifies God.
Noël grew up in Georgia, the oldest of 10 children. Though her family was not perfect—in other words, they were normal—they laid a foundation that prepared her for faith in God through Jesus Christ.
Noël has been married to John Piper since 1968. They have 4 sons and a daughter, 4 daughters-in-law, and an increasing number of grandchildren. Their children grew up in Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, where John has been a pastor since 1980. Talitha, a teenager, is the only one still living at home with Mom and Dad.
Noël met John at Wheaton College, only a few months after making the definite pronouncement, “I will never marry a pastor!” This went right along with the assurance that, “I’m going to wait a long time to get married so I can see the world first.” John was pre-med, so that was all right. Their wedding was a month before she finished college. Then God was very patient in preparing this rash young woman to become a pastor’s wife 13 years later.
Now she travels for missions and speaking as often and as far as possible and she is steadily involved with ministries and activities of Joni and Friends, both locally and internationally. She smiles to think of the naiveté of the 19-year-old who assumed that nothing as good as seeing the world could ever happen after marriage.
Every year, she realizes more clearly when we trust in the LORD with all our heart, and do not lean on our own understanding—that when we acknowledge him in all our ways—he will make straight our path (Proverbs 3:5-6). And she prays for his Spirit to work in her that trust and that wholehearted acknowledgement of him.
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Dr. David Steele

God-Centered Marriage

Reviewed in the United States on December 6, 2012

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Books on marriage are a dime-a-dozen these days, even from a Christian perspective. However, only a handful of books on marriage pass the test of biblical fidelity. John Piper's book, This Momentary Marriage passes both tests.. In fact, it ranks among the best books I've read on marriage to date.

Readers familiar with Piper will instantly drawn in to his argument for marriage. Over and over Piper pounds the theme of the book into the ground for maximum effect: The ultimate purpose of marriage is "the display of Christ's covenant keeping grace." To that end, the author develops several items worth mentioning.

First, the author grounds his central argument into rich soil by reiterating that marriage is "the doing of God." And in a final sense, "marriage is the display of God." He continues, "The ultimate things we can say about marriage is that it exists for God's glory. That is, it exists to display God ... Marriage is patterned after Christ's covenant relationship to his redeemed people, the church. And therefore, the highest meaning and the most ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and his church on display." And this is the primary reason why divorce is so odious to God: "Therefore, what makes divorce and remarriage so horrific in God's eyes is not merely that it involves covenant-breaking to the spouse, but that it involves misrepresenting Christ and his covenant" (emphasis mine).

Second, Piper focuses on the priority of covenant love. Remember the theme of the book that marriage is means to display Christ's covenant keeping grace. Therefore, the author argues that "staying married is not mainly about staying in love. It's about covenant-keeping." The foundation for this covenant-keeping is the rock-solid covenant between people and God. Therefore, Piper continues, "Marriage exists to display the merciful covenant-keeping love of Christ and the faithfulness of his bride."

It is here that the book takes an important and decisive turn - for the author shows the relevance of the doctrine of justification by faith alone and how it relates to marriage. Piper adds, " God requires two thing of us: punishment for our sins and perfection for our lives." He continues to describe how the vertical reality of justification must be "bent horizontally to our spouses if marriage is to display the covenant-making, covenant-keeping grace of God." The takeaway is profound: "Let the measure of God's grace to you in the cross of Christ be the measure of your grace to your spouse." This is a perfect example of the Christ-saturated wisdom that permeates the book.

Piper continues to give practical advice to husbands and wives throughout the book; advice that is bathed in biblical wisdom; advice that is ultimately rooted in our God who keeps covenant with his people. Biblical headship is discussed - so husbands are encouraged to lead well: "Headship is the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christlike, servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home." The husband's leadership involves physical and spiritual protection and physical and spiritual provision.Biblical submission is explored: "Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband's leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts." What strikes me about the section on headship and submission is this: in a few short pages, Piper delivers an exegetical bombshell that utterly destroys the prevailing notion of egalitarianism. This God-dishonoring view that sees no distinction between male and female roles is left begging for mercy; tattered and torn in the shadow of Piper's sound exposition.

The concluding chapters discuss the permanence of the marriage covenant. In what may be one of the most important statements in the book, Piper suggests that "if Christ ever abandons and discards his church, then a man may divorce his wife. And if the blood-bought church, under the new covenant, ever ceases to be the bride of Christ, then a wife may legitimately divorce her husband. But as long as Christ keeps his covenant with the church, by the omnipotent grace of God, remains the chosen people of Christ, then the very meaning of marriage will include: What God has joined, only God can separate."

The author boldly goes where few pastors dare to go by suggesting that remarriage is prohibited so long as the previous spouse is still alive. His arguments are exegetically sound and compelling. Readers who disagree are encouraged to survey the case that Piper presents and prayerfully consider his arguments.

This Momentary Marriage is a landmark book. It is a theological landmine that will undoubtedly shatter many preconceived notions about marriage. It is solid food that Christians need to digest. And it is timely ointment that is designed to heal wounds and promote strong marriages in the difficult days ahead.

Highly recommended!

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G. R. Trevisan

Loved how it elevates the conversation (but it's not for everyone!)

Reviewed in the United States on August 14, 2012

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In "This Momentary Marriage," John Piper presents a strong, biblically-inspired stand that "Most foundationally, marriage is the doing of God (And) ultimately, marriage is the display of God." Not marital advice but a delving into the mystery that Paul alludes to in his lesson about marriage in Ephesians, "This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church." (Ephesians 5: 32, ESV)

I appreciated this book immensely but as I write this review about it, I must offer my belief that it will be appreciated most by a certain audience whereas others may not enjoy it as much. So before, you recommend it to someone, think about how it may resonate with them.

Here's the criteria I would use for potential readers: 1) Committed Christian; AND, 2) Holding the (Christian) Bible as an authoritative source of truth; AND, 3) Earnestly exploring God-inspired insight about marriage. Those holding doubts about their, or the, Christian faith but who are earnest truth seekers and open to accepting the Bible as a source of truth may also benefit from this book. Regarding others, I'm not so sure.

I offer these audience guidelines because some may see this book as presenting a dogmatic, "hard line" view about marriage, an institution commonly attributed as arising from societal tradition but which Piper presents as originally ordained by God. He starts with a bang in the first chapter to set up what he has to say about marriage:

"There never has been a generation whose general view of marriage is high enough," wrote Piper in the first chapter. "I pray that this book might be used by God to help set you free from the small, worldly, culturally contaminated, self-centered, Christ-ignoring, God-neglecting, romance-intoxicated, unbiblical views of marriage."

While these are strong words, I believe they represent how Piper unflinchingly draws a line in the sand that challenges readers to elevate their view of marriage above the common discourse underway in the world and even in the church today. Wading deeply into Scripture, texts from 32 of the Bible's 66 books are referenced with each chapter launching from a key Biblical passage.

A central theme is that, "The shadow of covenant-keeping between husband and wife (in their marriage) gives way (after death) to the reality of covenant-keeping between Christ and his glorified Church." While marriage is confined to the span of life, God uses it as a pointer to realities found in the next life which is to say that marriage is more than simply a license a couple secures to live out their love in a manner that is societally acceptable. Hence, the book is not so much about marriage as it's about God and Christ and how marriage factors into the plan of redemption for all people, whether or not they marry (and whether or not they are believers!).

In just 178 pages, Piper covers a lot of marital territory including all the "hot" topics - romance, sex, headship, submission, childbearing and divorce. His position on divorce will test the mettle of many readers, especially those who have experienced divorce. While he presents sound biblical reasoning for this position, he leave lots of room for mercy and even admits that his view is not commonly held among church or biblical scholars.

So to those who may say the book's tone is lacking in grace, I would disagree but also understand that charge. While I was challenged at many turns, I thought Piper offered sound biblical reasoning against which I could compare my own conclusions versus his, pro or con. That's all I can ask of any book. Overall, he succeeded in elevating my view of marriage in a manner I found quite inspiring.

7 people found this helpful

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David M. Cook

Best and Shortest in a Crowded Genre

Reviewed in the United States on July 26, 2012

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My life as a husband, pastor, and seminary grad has put a number of marriage books under before my eyes. I'm always looking for something to lead couples I counsel through, something to lead my wife through, something to geek-out over. For a number of reasons, this book is the only one I plan to take every pre-marital couple I counsel through, sometimes with the addition of others. Here's why:

First, it's short. The chapters are short, and the whole thing isn't huge either. Some people I counsel are great for a longer take, like Kostenberger's work on marriage. But this one doesn't intimidate people who don't love to read, even though it's powerful enough to move a very academic mind. It's like great preaching in that way.

Second, it is both clear and powerful. It's natural to sacrifice one for the other, but Piper shows his writing skill well here.

Third, it is all about marriage pointing to Christ and the Church, which so many otherwise great books on marriage miss. Piper quotes his wife saying "you can't say that enough," in the book. She's right.

Fourth, it gets it so right in so many areas of theology and practical application. I've never agreed more with a marriage book.

Fifth, more particularly, this is one of the few books out there that articulates what I believe to be a Biblical view of divorce and remarriage.

Finally, Piper has a knack for seeing how people would abuse a text or a truth and diffusing that tendency. He knows the heart well enough to stop us in our tracks.

It's a book connecting marriage to Christ and the Church written by a good scholar, a good preacher, and a good pastor. Five stars.

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Mr RL Jones

I enjoyed it

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 2, 2021

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I think this book really looks at different perspectives and topics on how to have a successful marriage. John Piper sticks quite closely to the Bible in his analysis on various areas of marriage. It provides a lot of insight into how and why his marriage with Noel has lasted. I think more could have been included on how marriages breakdown and felt John was too rigid in his analysis of topics like domestic violence and infidelity, and a more graceful approach was necessary for those who've suffered from this. This topic wasn't really explored but are the most common factors leading to divorce and separation. Overall I really enjoyed this book and the wisdom given out on the topic of marriage for those who are married, single or anything else.

Erika Daniela

Excelente

Reviewed in Mexico on September 23, 2019

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Mi libro favorito. De los mejores de Piper.

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Amazon Customer

Must Read for Anyone Going into Marriage

Reviewed in Canada on February 29, 2016

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This is a powerful book filled with biblical truth. I am getting married in 6 months and I want to read this book again before I get married and every year after! Great theology of marriage. Sometimes hard to stick with it but so worth it.

Jennifer Salazar

En tiempo

Reviewed in Mexico on September 29, 2023

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Llegó el libro en tiempo, lo único malo es que llegó manchado de una sustancia pegajosa en una de las pastas y en el lomo

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Mr SDP

Essential reading for successful Christian marriage

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 13, 2018

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Best book I've read about biblical basis of Christian marriage and complimentary responsibilities of husband and wife. John Piper is a deeply spiritual and experienced author, pastor and speaker. I highly recommend this book to all Christian couples for the benefits it can bring.
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