"This is the "5 Love Languages" applied to folks with Alzheimer's. This is particularly interesting to me as my ex-mother-in-law was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and survived for 12-13 years afterwards. It was sad as we watched her condition deteriorate as the days went on. Also, there seems to be more prevalence of this condition nowadays since people are living longer. It's amazing how much love is extended by family members through the years even through the non-response of the person afflicted with Alzheimer's. As one of the authors states - even though a person is incapable of giving love, he believes that they are still capable of receiving love. He notes that many of those caregivers have a strong faith in God and that enables them to extend God's love to their family members with Alzheimer's. It also helps to have a church family to support them emotionally and spiritually. One of the other authors speaks of his personal journey with his wife experiencing Alzheimer's. It's truly heart-breaking that the love of your life can, one day, look at you and say, "I have no idea who you are". Then he details the progression of his wife's Alzheimer's - getting lost, driving to the store and dinging the car, eventually losing the ability to drive at all, needing around-the-clock care. Love that is not driven by infatuation or obsession, but by choice, is "real love""
Reviewed by Herbert on NetGalley, Nov 23, 2016
"Through stories that are moving and unflinching, Keeping Love Alive as Memories Fade shows how love can persist even as dementia gradually erodes memory and physical abilities. It offers powerful testimony to the lasting nature and immense power of human relationships."
- Peter V. Rabins, MD, MPH | Co-author, The 36-Hour Day
"Keeping Love Alive takes on what has been notably absent from most personal narratives or guides to living with someone with Alzheimer’s or a related disease. Readers are rewarded with sound antidotes to the pervasive nihilism about the potential for loving relationships and meaningful connections as intimate family relationships irrevocably change when memories fade. The love languages are positive approaches to being present backed by sound rationales for why it is important for the individual and the family. Blessedly removed are the more typical attempts to sugar coat the realities of loss. Ed’s personal and professional stories will resonate with caring couples and families desperately seeking reminders of the transformative resilience of loving long-term relationships. Long overdue, this book reminds families that although they don’t have to do it all, meaningful connections can make a difference in the quality of family life despite progressive cognitive decline."
- Lisa P. Gwyther, MSW, LCSW | Director, Duke (Alzheimer’s) Family Support Program; Duke Health
"Love lives on during times of loss, and there is profound value and redemption in intentionally expressing both the love and the grief that is part of the Alzheimer's journey. Yes! Be open. Be kind. The world needs more compassionate, love-affirming books like this."
- Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. | Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition and author of Healing Your Grieving Heart When Someone You Care About Has Alzheimer’s
"As a geriatrician, I am all too familiar with the Alzheimer’s disease and the devastating effect it can have upon those afflicted and those who care for them. Alzheimer’s and other dementias are the most terrifying complications of growing older, more feared than cancer, heart disease, and even death itself. So whether you simply wish to know more about these increasingly epidemic disorders or especially if already dealing with their losses and challenges in yourself or a loved one, Keeping Love Alive as Memories Fadeshould be required reading. For as artfully crafted and compellingly written, this compact volume brings hope, insight, and practical coping strategies into clear focus. For indeed love is the answer and its flame must be kept alight through every phase of this journey to its end."
- William R. Hazzard MD | Professor of Internal Medicine, Section on Gerontology & Geriatric Medicine; Wake Forest School of Medicine; Wake Forest Baptist Health
"Brilliant minds come together in this essential guide through the Alzheimer’s journey! I would have loved this book when my mom was fading away. You’ll learn how to stay connected with the loved one you are watching disappear with real life examples as well as specific daily exercises and tactics you can use to stay in touch and in love. This roadmap of the Alzheimer’s brain allows you to follow along, adapting and changing your interaction with a brain that is continuously changing with each stage of this disease. You can’t fix what is breaking, but you can break through… with unconditional love."
- Lanie Pope | Chief Meteorologist, WXII News, Winston-Salem, NC
"A much-needed and refreshingly instructive guide devoted to the essential discussion of relationship, intimacy, and the complexities of connection at all stages in the dementia experience. Many wise books counsel caregivers on learning the language of dementia, but in the illuminating text of Keeping Love Alive as Memories Fade, the authors remind us of our deeply-rooted shared humanity with persons with dementia, and that learning the transformative language of love is indeed, the most profound, affirming, and enduring form of communication."
- Lisa Snyder, MSW, LCSW | University of California, San Diego; Author, Speaking Our Minds - What It’s Like to Have Alzheimer’s
From the Back Cover
“Through stories that are moving and unflinching, Keeping Love Alive as Memories Fade shows how love can persist even as dementia gradually erodes memory and physical abilities. It offers powerful testimony to the lasting nature and immense power of human relationships.” — Peter V. Rabins, MD, MPH; coauthor, The 36-Hour Day
If you’re reading this, you may have a loved one suffering from dementia, and you’re looking for hope. The disease has already taken so much, and though you’re determined to fight, you’re weary. Keeping Love Alive as Memories Fade will renew your strength. With guidance from professionals and stories of committed caregivers, you’ll learn how others have braved the road ahead, and how you can, too. Using the five love languages and other creative ideas, you can discover, like many others, the resilient power of love.
About the Author
GARY CHAPMAN--author, speaker, counselor--has a passion for people and for helping them form lasting relationships. He is the #1 bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages series and director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc. Gary travels the world presenting seminars, and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. For more information visit his website at 5lovelanguages.com.
EDWARD G. SHAW, MD, MA, is dually trained as a physician and a mental health counselor. He is the primary care partner for his wife, Rebecca, who was diagnosed with eary-onset Alzheimer's disease at age 54. He was a practicing radiation oncologist for 23 years. In 2010, inspired by Rebecca's journey, his medical interest shifted to dementia diagnosis and treatment, and with his additional training in mental health counseling, he founded the Memory Counseling Program that is now part of Wake Forest Baptist Health in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. His moving personal story of caring for his wife, coupled with his innovative use of the five love languages in dementia counseling, inspired the central message of Keeping Love Alive as Memories Fade.
DEBORAH BARR is a versatile writer, speaker, and health educator. A master certified health education specialist (MCHES), she also has a bachelor's degree in journalism and a master's degree in health education and promotion. An experienced wellness writer and speaker, Deborah volunteers as a community educator for the Western Carolina chapter of the Alzheimer's Association. Like Drs. Chapman and Shaw, she lives in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Keeping Love Alive as Memories Fade is her fourth book.
