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Future Sex Kindle Edition
A witty, honest, and thought-provoking exploration of modern sexuality and the search for love in the digital age
Emily Witt, single and in her thirties, had long imagined her sexual experiences would eventually lead to a traditional, monogamous relationship. But as she explores Internet dating, pornography, polyamory, and avant-garde sexual subcultures, Witt begins to question the conventional attitudes surrounding sex and the single woman.
In Future Sex, Witt captures the strangeness, ridiculousness, and beauty of these contemporary pursuits of connection and pleasure. Through an open-minded and honest account, she examines the possibilities offered by modern technology and changing cultural norms.
This book is a fresh, moving, and funny antidote to traditional views on women's sexuality, romantic relationships, and the search for love in 21st century America. Witt's engaging feminist memoir will resonate with anyone navigating the complex landscape of sex, dating, and relationships today.
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Editorial Reviews
Review
“[A] thoughtful and deeply personal exploration . . . Introspective and breathtakingly honest . . . [Witt has] a deeply empathetic and nuanced appreciation of sexual renegades and outcasts . . . [Future Sex] is a smart, funny, beautifully written account of contemporary women trying to understand their sexual desires―and fashion physically and emotionally safe ways to express them.”
―Benoit Denizet-Lewis, The New York Times Book Review
“Emily Witt’s book examines how, for those who grew up in the era of the sexual supermarket, the abundance of options can be less an allure than a challenge . . . Witt is a sharp observer of the behavior and the motivations of others, a wry, affectionate portraitist of idealistic people and the increasingly surreal place they belong to . . . Among other things, Future Sex offers a superb account of the absurdities of San Francisco in the first half of this decade, a bouncy castle of a city where the private pleasures of the conquering tech class are construed (and marketed) as social benefits for all.”
―Alexandra Schwartz, The New Yorker
“Fascinating (and funny) . . . beautifully written. Brave.”
―Tara Henley, The Los Angeles Times
“These gorgeously written essays, linked by tone, style, and a singular ambitious purpose, are brimming with intellect and infused with a caustic, compelling humor that marks our most astute and entertaining cultural critics. Future Sex explores sexual predilections that you never thought you’d find interesting . . . Witt is open and brave and remarkably nonjudgmental . . . Witt is as fine a literary stylist as Joan Didion . . . As an essayist she is as rhetorically powerful as Rebecca Solnit.”
―Emily Rapp Black, The Boston Globe
“Emily Witt’s Future Sex irresistibly explores the mournfulness and hopefulness of singledom today . . . What makes Future Sex so compelling, and so fascinating, is the indeterminacy of its author’s own position in relation to the world she’s writing about. She’s usually more than just an observer, but she’s also rarely an insider.”
―Mark O’Connell, Slate
“[Witt is] an intrepid journalist . . . A writer of many registers, Witt conveys amusement, bemusement, disgust, and sympathy all at once.”
―Judith Schwartz, The Atlantic
"A serious exploration of American sexual culture . . . [Emily Witt] has in her own way reinvented the sex memoir."
―Jessica Cutler, The Washington Post
"In many [moments] in her genre-bending first book, Future Sex, Emily Witt captures lonely, tender truths about human sexuality. Seeking the future of sex in our culture, she shrewdly examines the past . . . A riveting chronicle of twenty-first century sexuality, told by a smart and talented writer."
―Diana Whitney, San Francisco Chronicle
“In Future Sex, Witt has written a book that is actually about loneliness, intimacy, and love’s elusiveness; capitalism, Californian utopianism and feminism; family, memory and loss. Her book expands the possibilities for women’s lives in the 21st century, and for sex’s place within them.”
―Joanna Biggs, The Financial Times
"Emily Witt's first book is an honest and unapologetic narrative of all things sex . . . Witt is poised, honest, and relevant."
―Madeleine L. Lapuerta, The Harvard Crimson
“[Emily Witt’s] deadpan delivery makes Future Sex a work of social observation and, at times, even a kind of nonfiction comedy of manners . . . Future Sex shines, offering not a speculative preview of what’s to come, but an erudite exposition on where we currently are.”
―J.C. Pan, The Nation
“[A] pioneering new book about finding love in the time of Tinder . . . Emily Witt provides a refreshingly real account of what it means to be single and sexually curious in 2016.”
―i-D
“As Donald Trump is elected with promises of retracting reproductive rights, Emily Witt has been charting the places sex has been heading in an age of relative freedom, collected in her new, oddly moving book Future Sex, which I now want to buy for everyone I know.”
―Sophia June, Willamette Week
"Extraordinary . . . Emily Witt's perceptiveness makes her the perfect guide . . . It also helps that she's extremely funny."
― Henri Lipton, Columbia Journal
“From polyamory to porn, the excellent Future Sex explores ‘free love’ today . . . In her insightful, generation-defining collection of essays, Emily Witt explores what sexual freedom, especially for women, means in contemporary Western society.”
―Laura Adamczyk, The A.V. Club
“Witt travels beyond her own psychic distress and into a journalistic tour of twenty-first-century mating. The result serves as a new economics of sex, or, equally, an economics of new sex.”
―Miranda Purves, Bloomberg Businessweek
“Witt distinguishes herself in the nascent young-single-urban-woman-Tinder-tell-all-memoir genre by deploying admirable detachment and irony as she dabbles in orgasmic meditation, experiments with online dating, and navigates the disjuncture between sex and love.”
―O, The Oprah Magazine
“In Future Sex . . . Witt interrogates both our cultural myths around feminine sexuality and the vanguards of sexual experimentation seeking to dismantle them. Her serious, radical book places her in a lineage that started with writers like the late feminist critic Ellen Willis, and, yes, Joan Didion herself . . . [A] wise, honest, and necessary book.”
―Hermione Hoby, Vice
“A thorough, fresh look at how romantic and sexual relationships have changed in the past two decades.”
―Maddie Crum, The Huffington Post
“Witt’s voice has a clear-eyed restraint and a tough, ironic sense of humor, especially when it comes to herself.”
―Fan Zhong, W magazine online
“Future Sex offers new insight into how we search for sex, and even love―and what that means for us in 2016.”
―Elizabeth Kiefer, Refinery29
“A probing investigation into 21st-century female sexuality . . . Witt is as thoughtful as she is audacious, and Future Sex is ultimately a carefully crafted literary and intellectual endeavor . . . [She] enters each new milieu with an open mind and a reporter’s ear for nuance and humor. There’s something Joan Didion-esque about Future Sex, in Witt’s lovely writing and in her skeptical authorial remove.”
―Julia Felsenthal, Vogue.com
“The first volume of [Foucault’s] History of Sexuality will turn forty next month, and it seems fitting that the essence of its inquiry has now been given a fresh and contemporary perspective by journalist and critic Emily Witt. In Future Sex, an audacious collection of essays on female sexual desire, Witt scrutinizes ever-progressing notions of sexuality since the advent of the internet.”
―Michael Barron, The Culture Trip
“In the spirit of exploration, Emily Witt boldly swipes right on all the carnal pleasures technology has to offer―dating apps, screwing apps, sexting, and easy access to kinky or progressive subcultures. Her first book, Future Sex, is provocative to say the least, but the journalist’s interest is more than just skin-deep. With a sense of humor and an appreciation for the weird beauty of it all, she takes a genuine look at our modern pursuit of human connection, noting its potential to inspire a newer, braver female sexuality.”
―Heather Baysa, The Village Voice
"[Emily Witt] is like a twenty-first-century gonzo journalist . . . One of [her] greatest strengths as a reporter is the steadiness of her gaze: She looks long enough to notice both what is valuable in the seemingly comical or bizarre and what's ludicrous in the ostensibly normal."
―Lidija Haas, Bookforum
“After Emily Witt’s vision of happily-ever-after is thrown off-kilter, she decides to use herself as a test subject. Future Sex is her exhaustive study of how we seek love and sex in the digital age. Dating apps, porn, polyamory . . . she decodes all the ways we get turned on―and off.”
―Cosmopolitan
“Writer Emily Witt always figured she’d get married. She dated on and off, slept around, and planned to eventually settle down. When she turned 30, however, Prince Charming had yet to appear... Witt embarked on an investigation of contemporary dating culture, from the mainstream (Internet dating) to the fringe (orgasmic meditation).”
―Alina Cohen, Allure.com, 10 Title We Can’t Wait to Read
"Witt’s debut provides an illuminating, hilarious account of sex and dating in the digital age, when hook-up culture and technology have vastly altered the romantic landscape. . . . This is a vital conflict at the center of many women’s lives, and Witt explores it with remarkable nuance, intelligence, and an admirable commitment to experimentation."
―Publishers Weekly
"The greatest ambition for a reported book is to offer a true history of the present; Emily Witt has succeeded in an effort few even attempt. Of the dozens of new books each year that try to say something credible, useful, and revealing about the contemporary sexual self-image, Witt has produced far and away the one most likely to be read and reread over the coming long interval of human experimentation. Witt is not only a committed reporter, but a writer of rare range; her language is as tough-minded, stark, and provocative as it is tender, careful, and exposed. Future Sex glitters in its poignancy. It makes itself felt far beyond the usual expectations."
―Gideon Lewis-Kraus, author of A Sense of Direction
"Emily Witt is our perfectly ambivalent yet somehow smart and hungry guide on this casually lurid tour of female driven porn, idly pervy webcams, Burning Man, and polyamory. If you think of those boring books that probably still send single straight women off to Europe to meet a nice man, Future Sex looms even more clearly into view as a hotter choice for actually almost anyone."
―Eileen Myles, author of Chelsea Girls
"I highly enjoyed Future Sex―a moving, novelistic, exploratory, wryly funny, darkly colorful, many-storied book about 21st century romantic relationships, the rarity of love, the female body, polyamory, birth control, childlessness, internet dating and porn, and the search for more than mere contentment."
―Tao Lin, author of Taipei
"Emily Witt’s Future Sex is moody, dark, and powerful, brilliantly gloomy and inspiringly funny. This is the best book by far I’ve read on women’s sexuality in the new century, because Witt is the finest writer. I don’t know if this is the future of sex, but the future belongs to Emily Witt."
―Mark Greif, author of The Age of the Crisis of Man
"Emily Witt is a truly compelling writer and a trustworthy guide. I read her book quickly and with interest, and with great appreciation for her insightful, original and sensitive mind."
―Sheila Heti, author of How Should a Person Be
About the Author
Product details
- ASIN : B01D8F6502
- Publisher : Farrar, Straus and Giroux (October 11, 2016)
- Publication date : October 11, 2016
- Language : English
- File size : 634 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Print length : 210 pages
- Page numbers source ISBN : 0865478791
- Best Sellers Rank: #832,634 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #1,987 in Feminist Theory (Books)
- #2,927 in Erotic Science Fiction
- #3,903 in Science Fiction Erotica
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Emily Witt is a writer in New York City. She has written for n+1, The New Yorker, The New York Times, GQ, the London Review of Books, and many other places. She has degrees from Brown, Columbia, and Cambridge, and was a Fulbright scholar in Mozambique. Her first book, Future Sex, was published in 2016 by Farrar, Straus & Giroux.
Customer reviews
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Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book very interesting to read and well-written. However, the insights are mixed, with some customers appreciating the informative content while others find it lacking in purpose.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
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Customers find the book very interesting to read, with one customer noting it's a terrific series of magazine articles.
"I rarely write reviews, but I loved this book. It's a tour of modern dating culture that's as witty and entertaining as it is insightful...." Read more
"...But overall I would recommend this book as a fun read for anyone who might like to see how some other people in the early 2nd decade of the 21st..." Read more
"...Good work, but Emily Witt can do a lot more with a more substantial subject. I'll be interested to see what she comes up with next." Read more
"Future Sex is one of the most engaging, insightful, and meaningful things I've read on our culture and our times -- not just about sex, but about..." Read more
Customers find the book well-written, with one customer noting the author's good observational skills.
"A very bizarre book that was informative, interesting, and well-written...." Read more
"...fresh, and moving" as advertised, but it is informative and smartly written...." Read more
"Love this book. Well researched, well written, personal, funny, necessary." Read more
"Fun to read because the author is a good observer and writer...." Read more
Customers have mixed reactions to the book's insight, with some finding it informative, while one customer describes it as a detailed repository of depressing facts.
"Future Sex is one of the most engaging, insightful, and meaningful things I've read on our culture and our times -- not just about sex, but about..." Read more
"A very bizarre book that was informative, interesting, and well-written...." Read more
"...This is not an uplifting or inspiring book. There is no story, there's no humor and no emotional connection...." Read more
"At the sentence level Witt is stylish and clearly well educated. She lives an interesting life, but there isn't much to take away from this book." Read more
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on August 12, 2017I rarely write reviews, but I loved this book. It's a tour of modern dating culture that's as witty and entertaining as it is insightful. Rather than tell us abstractly about polyamory, porn and feminism, online dating, etc, Witt informs us about them through her hilarious first-persona experience with the stuff. An accomplished investigative reporter, we feel like we're always at her side, taking in the future of sex first hand.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 6, 2018This book was just fun to read. I felt like I was hanging out with the author as she observed a lot of situations I would never be comfortable seeing in real life. But she makes the story of her experiences as an observer (and sometimes participant) in some of the happenings very interesting to read. I don't feel like she reached any grand conclusions about how the future of meeting or interacting with opposite (or same) sex people would be, but I guess the lack of clarity about that is the point. I did get the feeling all through the book that she continually made the choice to be a single person at just about every turn (why didn't you keep your meet up agreement with Lunar Fox at Burning Man?). And as I can see from her picture that she is an attractive (and obviously intelligent) woman, having that choice to make might be seen as a luxury by people who are not as blessed. She mentioned several times how unwanted attention from men was often a burden, but also mentioned that she learned from at least one "guru" (at the OM workshops) how to diffuse or not fear that attention. Also mentioned was how during internet dating possibilities, many did not meet her "standards", which I think is the problem with internet dating and when you attempt to pick a possible mate the same way you would shop for a new washing machine. In the end I think we all do what humanity has done forever if you want to be part of a couple - put up with flaws in exchange for being forgiven for yours. But overall I would recommend this book as a fun read for anyone who might like to see how some other people in the early 2nd decade of the 21st century chose to live and interact sexually (or not).
- Reviewed in the United States on January 30, 2017Interesting if you don't read a lot of "lifestyle magazines" like Cosmo or Esquire. If you do, or if you pop in the occasional porn film, you probably won't find much that's new. There's plenty of good stuff scattered throughout the book, such as the details of web cam sex experience and how little the girls working the cams can end up with after their "sponsors" have taken their cut. Otherwise, this would have made a terrific series of magazine articles, which is pretty much how it reads. Good work, but Emily Witt can do a lot more with a more substantial subject. I'll be interested to see what she comes up with next.
- Reviewed in the United States on October 18, 2016Future Sex is one of the most engaging, insightful, and meaningful things I've read on our culture and our times -- not just about sex, but about intimacy and human (dis)connection.
- Reviewed in the United States on October 24, 2016A very bizarre book that was informative, interesting, and well-written. It doesn't have much to do with the future of sex, but it captures the anarchy, chaos, and variety of the past 30 years up to the present. In fairness, it's an exploration of the outer edges, and folks (like myself) who live in "flyover country" may have trouble grasping the big picture -- if there is one. One quibble is that amid all the craziness, the word love appears over and over and over. It's never really defined, and, in a book otherwise off the handle, a definition of what Miss Witt means by "love" is needed. Perhaps it's characteristic of the circles in which she travels, but a lot of the sex seems disconnected from the rest of each person's personalities, giving the impression that sexuality isn't grounded in and reflective of anything deeper. I'll let the reader decide.
- Reviewed in the United States on December 2, 2017The book is NOT "funny, fresh, and moving" as advertised, but it is informative and smartly written.
For me, it didn't deliver, it was not what I expected, and I struggle with the decision of returning it or not. The style deserves a keep, the content doesn't. After a first chapter where you hope some sort of pursuit of self and personal story will ensue, with a beginning and an end, follow a bunch of unrelated, magazine style 'articles' grouped around themes about some crazy things out there, written in gender study language. The image that emerges is depressing and occasionally made me feel dirty and sad for the human species. The author tries to both immerse herself in porn and in the hook-up culture and claim a higher-ground, which doesn't really work neither for the reader nor for her journey as a woman. This is not an uplifting or inspiring book. There is no story, there's no humor and no emotional connection. It is a detailed repository of depressing facts about today's promiscuous and pornified culture.
- Reviewed in the United States on April 11, 2017Glad I got this. Not too memorable but a good read.
- Reviewed in the United States on February 20, 2017Very nice reading, I enjoyed the narrative of the author telling her experiences, sometimes it gets a little complicated where she is going but that does not last too much. I do not think I understood where the last chapter was going but loved the Elizabeth story and burning man narrative. If you want to see another way of thinking about actual sex in the San Francisco way of thinking and how technology impacted it
Top reviews from other countries
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SébastienReviewed in France on October 22, 2017
3.0 out of 5 stars on m'avait dit que c'était drôle
euhhhh... erreur sur l'achat.
Ce livre est un reportage sur le monde du sexe, sans pointe d'humour ou alors la transcription en français ne tient pas compte des subtilité du langage anglais... dommage
- Norman MarshallReviewed in the United Kingdom on January 23, 2017
5.0 out of 5 stars A cool, intelligent and honest exploration
Witt is young, attractive, intelligent, articulate and successful, from a conventional American background, yet she has not moved on from youthful experimentation with lovers and friendships to the stable lifetime monogamy that is the natural destination of our life's journey. Or so a voice in her head frames the problem. This book is a courageous and lucid examination of to what extent that voice is right, and what alternatives there may be.
It is a record of several years in San Francisco in the early 2010s observing and exploring several different modes of sexuality: online dating, orgasmic meditation, hard core porn, online performance video, open relationships, festivals, communities. Her essays on each of these scenes are honest, sometimes harshly so, about her own involvement (she is not always simply a bystander) and the range of her responses, while being generous in her judgements of other participants.
The style moves from cerebral analysis of historical trends and social currents to descriptions of the things she has experienced that tread a fine line between cool detachment and acknowledgement of her own involvement and emotional and sexual response, neither titillating nor sanitizing. If for nothing else the book is eminently worth reading for its portrayal of the esoteric social microcosms blooming in San Francisco at the time - and perhaps already past by now.
I was left with the feeling that there may perhaps be a few other places in the world like this but not on the same scale or with the same diversity - a sort of Amazon rainforest of sex.
The title is an accurate enough reflection of her curiosity about where she herself and some subset of society with her might be headed, but there is no conclusion - simply an invitation to question assumptions and suspend judgment.
- GwenyvyrReviewed in Canada on March 1, 2018
5.0 out of 5 stars Enlightening
Several excellent points made here, and a wonderful retelling of someone on a path many of us fear to tread.
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PeterReviewed in Germany on January 3, 2017
3.0 out of 5 stars Ein seltsames Buch
Man ist hin- und hergerissen. Ist das eine hysterische Überzeichnung der Lebensphilosophie US-amerikanischer Eliten oder das intime Outing einer Sinnsuchenden? Der Klappentext (auch jener der bald verfügbaren deutschen Übersetzung) verspricht nicht zuviel. Es geht um Sex, Lust, Fortschrittsgläubigkeit, Genderismus, Familie, Kinder, das Lebensglück,... - alles postfaktisch, brandneu. So scheint es, aber am Ende der Lektüre konvergiert doch alles auf die altbackene conditio humana mit ihren unauflösbaren Widersprüchen.
Der Titel ist irreführend: Es geht nicht um die sexuelle Zukunft; diese wird eher metaphorisch im letzten Kapitel auf wenigen Seiten abgehandelt.
Was die praktische Anwendbarkeit oder gar die Zukunft betrifft, kann ich nur einen Stern vergeben. Als sexuelle Autobiografie ist das Buch eine faszinierende Melange aus rationalisiertem Weltschmerz und Fortschrittsglauben. Es berührt und verdiente fünf Sterne.
- HirishiReviewed in India on February 8, 2017
5.0 out of 5 stars Sexual cultures, like you've never seen them before
Set in America, this book reaches far beyond geographical boundaries. A searingly honest, totally non-judgmental exploration into the world of sex today, and an intimate, sharp understanding that future sex is not about robots or technology, but about people. Emily Witt's voice is both detached and deeply involved. Don't ask me how this works. It just does.