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Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges Paperback – August 23, 2016
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Listen introduces parents to five simple, practical skills even the most harried parent can use. These tools will help parents strengthen their connection with their child and help build their child's intelligence, cooperation, and ability to learn as they grow. The book delivers detailed information accompanied by more than one hundred real-life stories from parents who've used this approach to address the root causes of their child's difficult behaviors.
Five surprising things parents will learn:
- You don't have to reward or punish willful children to get them to cooperate.
- Aggressive kids are frightened kids, and there are simple tools to ease their fear so they don't need to lash out.
- Your willingness to just listen to crying or tantrums often is enough to heal a child's fears and hurts.
- Safe play during which your kid becomes the boss can reveal his hidden feelings-- and heal them too.
- Parents who regularly listen to one another's struggles, without judging or advising, often clear so much toxic emotion that their children benefit greatly.
- Print length356 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherHand in Hand Parenting
- Publication dateAugust 23, 2016
- Dimensions5.9 x 0.8 x 8.8 inches
- ISBN-100997459301
- ISBN-13978-0997459302
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About the Author
Tosha Schore, M.A., brings a burst of energy and optimism to parenting. She is an expert at simple solutions to what feel like overwhelmingly complicated problems. A sought after coach, author, educator, and speaker, Schore is committed to creating lasting change in families and in the world by supporting parents to care for themselves, connect with their children deeply, set limits lovingly, and play wildly. More specifically, Schore uses the five Hand in Hand Parenting tools to support parents of young boys through coaching and live virtual courses via her website (www.toshaschore.com). Her goal? To create a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time. Realizing that many fathers feel on the sidelines of parenting, she has recently begun gathering groups of fathers and teaching them how to support one another in their parenting, so they feel less isolated and better equipped to face the challenges of raising young ones. Schore is co-author, with Patty Wipfler, of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges, a blogger on HuffPost Parents, and former parenting columnist for the East Bay Express. As she's inspired, she also blogs on her own site. Schore has a multi-disciplinary background, with degrees in women's studies (B.A., UCSC) and applied linguistics (M.A., UCLA), and certificates in adult education (UCLA) and parent education (Hand in Hand Parenting). She has combined her academic knowledge with her pragmatic, "how-to" personality, and followed her heart to find her life's work. You can often find her reading a book or throwing a baseball with her husband and some combination of her three young boys.
Product details
- Publisher : Hand in Hand Parenting (August 23, 2016)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 356 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0997459301
- ISBN-13 : 978-0997459302
- Item Weight : 1.05 pounds
- Dimensions : 5.9 x 0.8 x 8.8 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #110,653 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #195 in Parenting Teenagers (Books)
- #13,308 in Self-Help (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the authors
Patty Wipfler is the mother of two sons and the Founder of the non-profit organization, Hand in Hand Parenting. The focus of her life's work has been teaching and supporting parents. She directed The School, a non-profit parent co-operative preschool in Palo Alto, and later directed the Neighborhood Infant Toddler Center. She has led over 400 workshops for families and professionals who work with parents.
In 1989, Patty founded the non-profit Hand in Hand. As Director, she wrote the "Listening to Children" series and over 60 articles on the principles and benefits of this approach to parenting. To date, Hand in Hand has sold over 800,000 copies of "Listening to Children" (now published as "Parenting by Connection") in English, Spanish, Chinese and Japanese.
Patty Wipfler's articles have been published on Huffington Post, Mothering Magazine, Nurture Magazine, the Bulletin of Zero to Three, Child Welfare News, and in many local newsletters for parents. She has been a keynote speaker at Association for the Education of Young Children conventions in Chicago and Philadelphia, and has spoken to parents around the world.
Patty has two grown sons and lives in Palo Alto, California.
Tosha Schore, M.A., brings a burst of energy and optimism to parenting. She is an expert at simple solutions to what feel like overwhelmingly complicated problems. A sought after coach, author, educator, and speaker, Schore is committed to creating lasting change in families and in the world by supporting parents to care for themselves, connect with their children deeply, set limits lovingly, and play wildly.
More specifically, Schore uses the five Hand in Hand Parenting tools to support parents of young boys through coaching and live virtual courses via her website (www.toshaschore.com). Her goal? To create a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time. Realizing that many fathers feel on the sidelines of parenting, she has recently begun gathering groups of fathers and teaching them how to support one another in their parenting, so they feel less isolated and better equipped to face the challenges of raising young ones.
Schore is co-author, with Patty Wipfler, of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges, a blogger on HuffPost Parents, and former parenting columnist for the East Bay Express. As she's inspired, she also blogs on her own site.
Schore has a multi-disciplinary background, with degrees in women’s studies (B.A., UCSC) and applied linguistics (M.A., UCLA), and certificates in adult education (UCLA) and parent education (Hand in Hand Parenting). She has combined her academic knowledge with her pragmatic, “how-to” personality, and followed her heart to find her life’s work.
You can often find her reading a book or throwing a baseball with her husband and some combination of her three young boys.
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Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find this parenting book to be an essential resource, particularly for new parents, and appreciate its practical advice that helps change their strategies. The book is clearly written and easy to read, with user-friendly tools that make it doable.
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Customers find this parenting book to be essential reading for every parent, particularly noting it as a wonderful resource for new parents.
"I count this book as one of the best parenting books I've read...." Read more
"...you tools to manage your OWN emotions, which is the most important thing in parenting...." Read more
"...in science, but it is very easy to read, and very applicable to any stage of your child's life. The tools are user friendly and simple in concept...." Read more
"I loved this book. It is an excellent resource for parents. I will refer back to it often. Tosha Shore is a wise parent coach." Read more
Customers find the book's advice practical and life-changing, helping them change their parenting strategies and understand the impact on their emotional life.
"...Thanks to this book, now we have an amazingly powerful tool in our pockets that I foresee will be useful for the rest of our lives...." Read more
"...What I loved about this book is that it gives you tools to manage your OWN emotions, which is the most important thing in parenting...." Read more
"...in the book has given me such a strong basis of confidence, and deep knowing, that even when I mess up, connection and compassion can make the..." Read more
"...The tips in this book hold core values and they are effective in changing your relationship with parenting and behavior your child exhibits...." Read more
Customers find the book's tools user-friendly and doable.
"...The tools are user friendly and simple in concept...." Read more
"...Simple tools that when implemented consistently provide almost immediate and hugely impactful results...." Read more
"...Stay Listening is beautiful, doable, and helpful!" Read more
"...This book gave me the tools to easily be in control again, confidence in my parenting & taught me how to give my kids the love & connection they..." Read more
Customers find the book clearly written and easy to read, with one customer noting its logical organization.
"...This book is easy to read, well written, full of real-life examples, and most importantly, the technique really works...." Read more
"...Not only is it grounded in science, but it is very easy to read, and very applicable to any stage of your child's life...." Read more
"Very wise, understandable, relevant, doable, heartwarming, and they have lots of online support as you learn the new responses...." Read more
"...It's clear and concise and explains things well...." Read more
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Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on March 8, 2019I count this book as one of the best parenting books I've read. It fits our parental style which probably can be summed up as firm but warm, caring and respectful to each other. This book taught us how to use listening as a tool. Yes sure we listened, but there is a difference to how you really "listen". It opens up your mind to a different approach, to a different way to assess the situations. I am very grateful to the authors who spent the time and wrote this book and shared their knowledge. Thanks to this book, now we have an amazingly powerful tool in our pockets that I foresee will be useful for the rest of our lives.
In fact, this has saved me from a potential tantrum yesterday (and that's why I am writing this review now, because I really need to credit this book for the knowledge it gave me). Not only did the tantrum not go full-blown, through "listening", I found out that my child was actually using it (by being difficult) as an "intro", as a way to connect, so she could tell me that something went wrong at school earlier that day.
I do wish we read this book a couple years earlier, so our family didn't have to go through (or test out) the other techniques, like discipline or threats. In our experience, none of them worked well. Most felt like winning the battle and losing the war. And they just didn't feel right to us.
I got this book while reading The Whole Brain Child and personally I found the two books complimentary to each other. This book is easy to read, well written, full of real-life examples, and most importantly, the technique really works. We are not able to experience listening partnerships due to our circumstances but we could see how that can be tremendously useful to those who can.
- Reviewed in the United States on August 30, 2018I've been using the tools for a year now, and It's getting better and better for me! I've read over 150 parenting books (child development, child psychology, etc), and this one is in top THREE for me :)
What I loved about this book is that it gives you tools to manage your OWN emotions, which is the most important thing in parenting. It also explained child's needs from a DEVELOPMENTAL perspective, and it's a life-changer. Our society expects children to BEHAVE, even if it's developmentally inappropriate.
All the tools are evidence-based.
I wish I got this book when my first child was born, I would have avoided so many parenting mistakes! But it's ok - it's never too late, one can always build connection RIGHT NOW, no matter where you are. It is so inspiring, and there's so much compassion all around. The world would be a kinder, more compassionate place if this book were distributed at the hospitals and birthing centers.
Feeling deeply grateful to have found this loving, non-punitive parenting approach.
The best thing is... I feel so good about myself, and about my parenting, and about my kids, and my husband. I understand them better. Now our house is full of giggles and cooperation. It's so good to know I am supporting my kids the way THEY need, vs what I THINK I should be giving them :)
Parenting is such hard work. I see devoted, loving parents not getting through to their kids...Loosing close connections once they kids are older, all the while trying SO hard. Get this book so that you can stay connected (maintain a close relationship) to your child once they have a CHOICE whether to hang out with you or not.
- Reviewed in the United States on February 12, 2019This, by far, has been my favorite parenting book. Not only is it grounded in science, but it is very easy to read, and very applicable to any stage of your child's life. The tools are user friendly and simple in concept. However, applying them can feel a little challenging, as most of us didn't grow up being parented in this connected and compassionate way. So it takes some time and support to learn new ways and carve new paths. I love that there are other layers of support, not just the book - you can find help on the Hand in Hand facebook page or in the paid facebook coaching group. It is an investment that has paid dividends in my family, and has changed me as a person for the better. While of course at times big fears come up about messing up and doing it all wrong, using the Five Listening Tools in the book has given me such a strong basis of confidence, and deep knowing, that even when I mess up, connection and compassion can make the repairs and keep us on a good path. I wish I had been parented in this way!!!
- Reviewed in the United States on March 25, 2024I loved this book.
It is an excellent resource for parents. I will refer back to it often. Tosha Shore is a wise parent coach.
- Reviewed in the United States on July 15, 2019This book has shaped how I parent and I go back and re-read sections of it as a refresher. The tips in this book hold core values and they are effective in changing your relationship with parenting and behavior your child exhibits. Simple tools that when implemented consistently provide almost immediate and hugely impactful results. I give this book to my friends and I would recommend it to anyone looking to help modify certain difficult behaviors in children and for those who just want to expand their parenting arsenal.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 3, 2019What do our children need? To bee seen and heard! This book, which I will honestly say I have not read cover to cover, has been a goo to for me in my mental health private practice. Stay Listening is beautiful, doable, and helpful!
- Reviewed in the United States on October 10, 2016This book has changed my life and my son's. I recieved this book a few weeks ago and started applying some of the concepts in my parenting approach and they have helped shift our dynamics, understand the impact on my emotional life due to the way I was raised and has given me the framework to create a listening partnership with another parent (this is happening for the first time tomorrow).
I now can provide the space for my son (2yrs 9mo) to process his emotions. The first time I did this he was able to let out so much, by the end of his expression he looked at me and said, "wow there was a lot in there". Afterwards he asked me to lay down and he laid on my chest and fell asleep. As a single father in a new city, this work is priceless for me. Such deep gratitude.
Top reviews from other countries
- KristenReviewed in Canada on October 14, 2016
5.0 out of 5 stars This book clearly explains both the importance of listening to our children and tools for how to ensure your child feels connect
A must have for parents, grandparents, teachers, educators, and anyone else involved in working with children! This book clearly explains both the importance of listening to our children and tools for how to ensure your child feels connected to you and loved.... all the time - through happiness, sadness, anger, frustrations, etc. This book shows you how to truly provide unconditional love to your child and how to parent with your heart.
- A NReviewed in the United Arab Emirates on December 25, 2019
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
Original product
Good deal
Speed delivery
A good read for parents
- A R FerrisReviewed in the United Kingdom on August 29, 2019
5.0 out of 5 stars These techniques work!
These techniques actually work. I left for a 5-day work trip last week with my daughter (2.5) not even interested in saying goodbye to me, telling me "I don't want you, I want daddy," and just being totally uncooperative. I had been snapping at her, nagging her, getting frustrated and sad that I seemed to have lost my connection with her. (I'm pregnant so my patience isn't as good as it used to be!) I was heartbroken. I read the book on the aeroplane and started using some of these techniques as soon as I got back. The techniques for encouraging co-operation and connection have worked almost instantaneously. I have been so much calmer and had a lot more fun. My daughter has been a lot more helpful and relaxed. I've had three days with her since I've been back from work and tonight she said to me "mummy you're my best friend". The naming of the techniques was a little annoying and "American" for me as a British reader, but that's just a tiny irritation. I am so relieved that I read this book because it has made parenting a toddler A LOT easier. Thank you!
- nikitaReviewed in India on July 4, 2023
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect gentle parenting book
This book explains the gentle parenting strategy in simple words with lot of real life stories.
nikitaPerfect gentle parenting book
Reviewed in India on July 4, 2023
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- Katy FawcettReviewed in the United Kingdom on February 12, 2019
5.0 out of 5 stars I wish I had found this book sooner!
The 5 strategies that this book is based around have genuinely changed my beliefs and are helping me to parent the way I want, enabling me to break the cycle of parenting that I experienced as a child. It has not only allowed me to improve the connection with my own children but has helped me improve other relationships through understanding the basics of human connection. Based on science, it makes so much sense and I experience evidence every day that it is working and having a positive impact. I continue to work through the challenges that parenting presents but with much more confidence as a result of this book. I highly recommend the online community too as a way of supporting the use of the tools. My kids absolutely love ‘special time’ (one of the tools) and it is making such a difference in our home. I can’t recommend this book enough.