Rising Strong
Brene Brown Rising Strong Book CoverDr. Brene Brown, research professor at the University of Houston and CEO of the Daring Way, adds to and builds on her previous work (I Thought It Was Just Me, The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly) in her new book, Rising Strong. I highly recommend that you read the others as well, but this book is still significant on it’s own. Through her interviews with thousands of people, she developed Rising Strong. The goal of the Rising Strong process is, “to rise from our falls, overcome our mistakes, and face hurt in a way that brings more wisdom and wholeheartedness” (2015, p. 40). This is described as a very messy three-step process:
The Reckoning: We need to identify and have an awareness of our emotions. Then we allow ourselves to be curious about our emotions and look for how they connect to our patterns of thought and behavior.
The Rumble: This is getting very honest about the stories we tell about others and ourselves. We have a tendency to fill in the information gaps in our narratives, which is likely not accurate. It is very important that we believe that people really are doing the best they can with their lives. We need to challenge our initial reactions and look for a deeper level of understanding.
The Revolution: Once we have rumbled with and owned our story, we then can rewrite the ending by growing and learning from what we have learned. Dr. Brown writes:
Men and women who rise strong integrate the key learnings that emerge from the rising strong process into how they live, love, lead, parent, and participate as citizens. This has tremendous ramifications not only on their own lives, but also for their families, organizations, and communities. (p. 41)
The process of applying your new insights will revolutionize your world.
Critical Review
Dr. Brown has a very connectable approach to her writing and weaves in a number of personal stories that make this process human. Her work is brilliant, unassuming, and yet still feels like it could be a great conversation with a best friend over coffee. This is not your typical academic research book filled with complex methodologies and two-way ANOVAs. Dr. Brene Brown has managed to take her complex grounded theory research and translate it into concepts that are useful for anyone with a soul.
On the other hand, if you are a super academic social scientist type person, she does not fully explain her entire methodology and provide all the explicit details of that process. However, this would not be appropriate to her audience. I do appreciate the fact that she lists all of her references in the back of the book. You can further your reading and double-check many of the statements she makes if you have concerns. I value that level of research transparency and how she has put her work out there for criticism. She also includes highlights from her other works at the end of the book.
My Own Experience
I noted several significant takeaways in the process of reading this book. Actually, there are too many to mention, so I will give some highlights.
It is very important to teach our children the truth of our stories and our family histories because it is their story. Nostalgia can be deadly.
The term chandeliering is one consequence of ignoring our own emotional pain. The term describes when a minor comment or conflict triggers a pain so great that we “jump as high as the chandelier” with our emotional response (p. 60). Some examples are road rage or even losing it at a sporting event. Dr. Brown writes:
Chandeliering is especially common and dangerous in “power-over” situations-environments where, because of power differentials, people with a higher position or status are less likely to be held accountable for flipping out or overreacting…Most of us have been on the receiving end of one of these outbursts. Even if we have the insight to know that our boss, friend, colleague, or partner blew up at us because something tender was triggered and it’s not actually about us, it still shatters trust and respect. (p. 61-62)
I enjoyed all of the personal stories. I cherished from my family systems background the insight into Dr. Brown’s family of origin. What moved me most was the account of her mother having a life altering counseling experience that was then translated into her parenting. It is a reminder that we can all change our family trees and break negative intergenerational patterns.
On spirituality, I also had a few notes. Dr. Brown’s work suggests that no specific church denomination was more shaming than others. Over half of her participants who experienced spiritual shaming ended up finding healing through spirituality. They changed churches or beliefs, but their faith was still a significant part of who they are.
Some items I need to reflect on personally after reading this are having the courage to communicate what works for me (what I need) and renewing my faith that people are doing their best at all times. As a lover of Narrative Therapy, I am all for reauthoring our own stories.
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Popular Highlights in this book
We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time.Highlighted by 9,234 Kindle readers- They recognize the power of emotion and they’re not afraid to lean in to discomfort.Highlighted by 7,827 Kindle readers
- People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses.Highlighted by 7,711 Kindle readers
- “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.Highlighted by 7,423 Kindle readers
- When we own our stories, we avoid being trapped as characters in stories someone else is telling.Highlighted by 6,950 Kindle readers
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| Brené Brown writes, “If we want to find the way back to ourselves and one another, we need language and the grounded confidence to both tell our stories and be stewards of the stories that we hear. This is the framework for meaningful connection.” | Brené Brown taught us what it means to dare greatly, rise strong, & brave the wilderness. Based on new research conducted with leaders, change makers, & culture shifters, she’s showing us how to put those ideas into practice so we can step up & lead. | A timely and important book that challenges everything we think we know about cultivating true belonging in our communities, organizations, and culture. | In hardcover for the first time, this tenth-anniversary edition of the game-changing book features a new foreword and brand-new tools to make the work your own. |
About the author
Powerful
Powerful book - listener first to audible version read by the author and then bought the book because the information was so good I could write fast enough. Enjoy!
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on August 26, 2015
- Reviewed in the United States on December 31, 2024
- Reviewed in the United States on June 16, 2016
Top reviews from other countries
- .Reviewed in India on July 11, 2017
A whole-hearted read for the broken-hearted and the brave.
- Larissa LopesReviewed in France on December 2, 2018
This is not a book, it’s a hug!
