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Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely Paperback – August 9, 2016
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Do you ever feel left out, lonely, or less than? Today, learn the secret of belonging which will help you keep rejections in perspective and be better equipped to foster healthy connections in your relationships.
In Uninvited, Lysa shares her own deeply personal experiences of rejection from the perceived judgment of the perfectly toned woman one elliptical over to the incredibly painful childhood abandonment by her father. She leans in to honestly examine the roots of rejection, as well as rejection's ability to poison relationships from the inside out, including our relationship with God. With biblical depth, gut honest vulnerability, and refreshing wit, Lysa will help you:
- Stop feeling left out by believing that even when you are overlooked by others you are handpicked by God.
- Change your tendency to either fall apart or control the actions of others by embracing God-honoring ways to process your hurt.
- Know exactly what to pray for the next ten days to steady your soul and restore your confidence in the midst of rejection.
- Overcome the two core fears that feed your insecurities by understanding the secret of belonging.
Uninvited reminds us we are destined for a love that can never be diminished, tarnished, shaken, or taken—a love that does not reject or uninvite.
- Print length288 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherThomas Nelson
- Publication dateAugust 9, 2016
- Dimensions5.5 x 0.85 x 8.4 inches
- ISBN-101400205875
- ISBN-13978-1400205875
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Lysa deeply understands the heartache that comes with life-shattering circumstances. But she's also discovered that our hardships can be the divine appointments our souls need to radically encounter God.
Filled with Biblical truth, gut-honest vulnerability, and refreshing wit, Lysa's words will help you find redemption in every part of your story.
From the Publisher
I Want to Trust You, but I Don't: Moving Forward When You’re Skeptical of Oth... | Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Pai... | Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who Yo... | It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappoint... | Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely | Uninvited Bible Study Guide plus Streaming Video: Living Loved When You Feel ... | |
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Discover more titles from Lysa: | Lysa shows you what to do with your skepticism and distrust so you can heal from past betrayals and move forward with strength and resilience. | In Forgiving What You Can't Forget, join bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst as she helps you discover how to move on, make peace with painful memories, and create a life that's beautiful again. | In Good Boundaries and Goodbyes, Lysa helps you stop the dysfunction of unhealthy relationships by showing you biblical ways to set boundaries--and, when necessary, say goodbye--without losing the best of who you are. | What do you do when God’s timing seems questionable or hurtful? In It's Not Supposed to Be This Way, Lysa unveils her heart amid shattering circumstances and shows you how to live assured when life doesn't turn out the way you expected. | Do you ever feel left out, lonely, or less than? We've all been there. Join Lysa in Uninvited as she teaches you how to keep rejections in perspective and foster healthy connections in your relationships. | In this six-session video Bible study Lysa helps women to explore the roots of rejection; the lies we believe as a result; and the truth about who God is, who we are, and what it looks like to live loved. |
Format | Hardcover | Hardcover | Hardcover | Hardcover | Softcover | Softcover |
Editorial Reviews
Review
"Lysa is one of my favorite people. It's not because she's smart or deep or caring, although she's all of these things. Lysa impresses me because she's real and transparent and honest. She's got plenty of guts and grit to get through difficult times, but what she has even more of is this--Jesus. She's learned what dazzles Him isn't our successes, but our faith. This book will point you back toward Jesus when it feels like you've lost your way." --Bob Goff, New York Times bestselling author of Love Does
"Lysa has done it again! You absolutely won't be able to put down this book. It's compelling from the first page to the last. With her trademark vulnerability, Lysa lays out a heartfelt means to managing the fears, rejections, insecurities, and unsteadiness we all experience. Trust us when we tell you that you've never read a book like this before. Don't miss out. We simply can't recommend Uninvited enough." --Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, #1 New York Times bestselling authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts
"Lysa TerKeurst has an undeniable gift for sharing her heart's struggles in ways that strengthen and equip the lives of others. I can't remember the last time I read a book with so many insights into human nature and even more gold nuggets of biblical truth. Don't miss this book--it will bless you more each time you read it!" --Chris Hodges, Senior Pastor, Church of the Highlands; author of Fresh Air and Four Cups
"This book is a must read. Lysa speaks beautifully yet prophetically to a culture that uniquely is able to see what our friends are eating, playing, doing, and planning at any moment with the little device in our pocket. My favorite part is that Lysa turns our eyes to what's most important though, and that is the great invitation we have to sit at the table with the Living God who has been for us from the beginning." --Jefferson Bethke, bestselling author of Jesus>Religion and It's Not What You Think
About the Author
Lysa TerKeurst is president and chief visionary officer of Proverbs 31 Ministries and the author of six New York Times bestsellers, including Good Boundaries and Goodbyes, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget, and It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way. She writes from her family’s farm table and lives in North Carolina. Connect with her at www.LysaTerKeurst.com or on social media @LysaTerKeurst.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Uninvited
Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely
By Lysa TerKeurstThomas Nelson
Copyright © 2016 TerKeurst FoundationAll rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4002-0587-5
Contents
Chapter 1 I'd Rather Ignore Honesty, 1,Chapter 2 Three Questions We Must Consider, 11,
Chapter 3 There's a Lady at the Gym Who Hates Me, 27,
Chapter 4 Alone in a Crowded Room, 41,
Chapter 5 Hello, My Name Is Trust Issues, 53,
Chapter 6 Friendship Breakups, 66,
Chapter 7 When Our Normal Gets Snatched, 74,
Chapter 8 The Corrective Experience, 88,
Chapter 9 Why Does Rejection Hurt So Much?, 102,
Chapter 10 Her Success Does Not Threaten Mine, 117,
Chapter 11 Ten Things You Must Remember When Rejected, 127,
Chapter 12 The Enemy's Plan Against You, 146,
Chapter 13 Miracles in the Mess, 160,
Chapter 14 Moving Through the Desperate In-Between, 172,
Chapter 15 I Want to Run Away, 188,
Chapter 16 What I Thought Would Fix Me Didn't, 203,
Bonus Chapter: What's It Like to Do Life with Me?, 211,
What's It Like to Do Life with Me? Assessment, 226,
Corrective Experience Chart, 230,
A Note from Lysa, 233,
Acknowledgments, 235,
Scriptures, 237,
Things I Don't Want You to Forget, 255,
Notes, 269,
About the Author, 271,
CHAPTER 1
I'd Rather Ignore Honesty
In the quiet of an early morning, honesty finds me. It calls to me through a crack in my soul and invites the real me to come out, come out, wherever you are. Not the carefully edited edition of the me I am this year. No, honesty wants to speak to the least tidy version of the woman I've become. The one I can't make look more alive with a few swipes of mascara and a little color on my lips.
Honesty is a suitor with piercing vision who isn't swayed by pretending and positioning.
I can try and make things appear better than they seem, but honesty will have none of it. So, I throw my hair in a messy bun and let my face stay splotchy. I don't suck in my stomach or whiten my teeth or spritz on some perfume.
I simply emerge.
I come out from behind all the efforts to carefully construct a more acceptable version of me, and I hesitantly extend my hand, uncertain how to greet honesty. I could be met with a slap or a hug, and I'm well aware it could go either way.
I would never opt for the slap, except with me that is probably the safer of the two options. I am an incredibly awkward hugger of the worst sort. I was once introduced to a well-known pastor I was extremely nervous to meet. He was a hefty older man with a delightful soul who was determined to make me feel welcome.
I should have felt honored.
But as I saw him approaching, all the options of how to greet him danced in my brain, and I became increasingly freaked-out with every step he took toward me. I stuck out my hand. He enveloped me in a bear hug, accidentally forcing my arm down in the worst possible location. Thankfully, he quickly backed away and instead placed his hands on my shoulders to say whatever he'd planned to say.
Of course I can't tell you what he said in the end, because 243 alarm bells were going off in my head about the awkward hug possibly resulting in my being banned from every church this side of the Mississippi. Or the world.
So, since hugs aren't usually my first choice, I didn't want to hug honesty.
Actually, I've never wanted to fully embrace honesty at all. I'm much better at it today than ever before, but I hesitate, knowing just how dangerous this can be. As long as I suspect that honesty's intention is to expose me and hurt me, it will always feel like a dangerous thing.
It's easier to construct a more palatable life story — where I can draw straight lines from each hurt of the past to the healing I later experienced — than to face the raw truth. I prefer to neatly match each hard part of my testimony with the soft place I landed in the middle of God's grace, forgiveness, and restoration as proof I am walking in freedom.
Which I am. Most of the time. But honesty didn't want to talk to me about that. Honesty wanted me to bring the core of who I believe I am and hold it up to the light of what's really true.
And there's not a soul alive who will find perfect alignment there.
Not. One.
No matter how saved, sanctified, mature, and free we are, there are misalignments embedded in our souls. So this is what honesty wanted to address with me. The cause of this misalignment is something we all wish would have stayed in the middle school locker room: rejection.
One maliciously crafted rejection with my exact vulnerabilities in mind will pierce the deepest part of me. Being mature in my faith can help me better process it. It can help me have a better reaction to it. It can even help me remove the arrow and patch up the wound. But spiritual maturity doesn't shield me from rejection.
Today's rejections, big or subtle, are like stealth bombs that zing straight to my core, locating hurts from my past and making them agonizingly present all over again. They send messages that scramble up all my carefully established formulas for keeping life stable. The voices of doubt and insecurity whisper, "See, I've been telling you for years what an utter disappointment you are." Those voices don't have to scream; the pain does that in deafening tones.
So honesty stares at me, and I nod my head. I agree. There is still work to be done.
Finally, I see that honesty isn't trying to hurt me. It's trying to heal me.
Honesty isn't trying to hurt me.
It's trying to heal me.
If you want to know what's really inside a person, listen carefully to the words she speaks. Recently the Lord made sure I had an acute awareness of what some of my own words reveal. Hints of the misalignment between what's true and what I believe about myself leaked out one day at the airport. There's nothing like a serious dose of stress mixed with an extreme time crunch that makes a person's mouth forget its filter. What you really think spills out in words a little too raw and forces you to take a look at where they came from.
There I stood, staring into an empty car trunk just outside the terminal, as a stabbing realization made my heart beat fast and my thoughts swirl. I had my itinerary. I had my driver's license. I had plans to get home. But I also had a rather inconvenient realization: I didn't have my luggage. Somehow it hadn't made it into the trunk of the car.
I thought another person had grabbed it. She thought I had. So there's that.
Quickly I called a friend who was still at the hotel. I breathlessly told her of my situation and asked if she could grab my luggage and stick it on the very next shuttle headed to the airport. And one other minor detail — I only had fifteen minutes to spare before the airline would no longer allow me to check my bag.
I'm not a nail biter, so instead I nervously picked at the little threads of skin at my cuticles. I twisted my fingers until my knuckles cracked. Again, not a normal habit of mine. But this wasn't a normal moment.
Who shows up at the airport without their luggage?
I paced back and forth, willing the shuttle van to speed, but then quickly repented because my rule-following brain made me. Mentally, I was beating myself up and recounting why in heaven I hadn't made sure I had my luggage. I checked my watch. Things weren't looking good. The bus had more miles to go than I had time to wait. Ugh.
I walked over to an outside check-in counter with pleading eyes and a nervous voice, high-pitched and more than slightly annoying. "I know you don't work for the airline I'm flying, but your company is in the process of merging with it. So, is there any way I can check my luggage in here as soon as it pulls up to the curb and you can just work it all out on your computer? Please? Yes?"
"Sorry, but no," he replied. "Our computer systems aren't merged yet."
Bummer. Big huge stinking bummer.
And then I started to do what I often do when life refuses to cooperate with me. I started talking to myself. Frustration lilted and lifted from my nerves right out of my mouth. "I'm just such an idiot. I invite so much unnecessary drama and complication in my life, because my pace and my brain aren't in sync. I mean, seriously, what is wrong with my brain?!"
The luggage man made an abrupt about-face turn in my direction, extended his arm, and held up his hand, signaling me to stop. "Not in my presence," he said. "Not in my presence will you talk about yourself this way. Absolutely not."
His command startled me.
His words stopped me.
And suddenly I wondered if I was having a conversation with an angel.
"Spit happens, woman." Only he didn't say spit. He said, well, you know.
Great. Wouldn't you know it? I have an "angel" that cusses.
So he wasn't a divine presence, but some of his words certainly were.
They stuck to me. Like when a two-year-old spends an hour working a large lollipop into a gloopy, gummy mess and then runs her hands through your hair. That kind of sticking, it's serious.
And so was this. These words — "Not in my presence will you talk about yourself in this way" — they don't brush off easily. Nor should they. Sometimes a phrase lands in your soul with such weight it leaves the deepest impression. I collect these phrases like other people collect stamps and Beanie Babies. I fill the unlined pages of notebooks from Walmart with these phrases. These words that move me are treasures.
My fingers twitched, eager to add this to my collection, but my Walmart notebook was inside the luggage hopefully speeding, but not breaking-the-law speeding, my way. In the absence of the notebook, the only thing I could do was let the words take center stage in my mind. I heard them over and over and felt peace.
With car fumes and sharp airplane noises providing the unlikely backdrop for a church-type lesson, I realized why these words were so personally necessary for me. Negative self-talk was a rejection from my past that I had allowed to settle into the core of who I am. I talked about myself in ways I would never let another person. Hints of self-rejection laced my thoughts and poisoned my words more than I cared to admit.
Self-rejection paves the landing strip for the rejection of others to arrive and pull on up to the gates of our hearts. Think about why it hurts so much when other people say or do things that make you feel rejected. Isn't it in part due to the fact they just voiced some vulnerability you've already berated yourself for? It hurts exponentially more when you're kicked in an already bruised shin.
Someone doesn't invite me to her event, and my thoughts recount all the faults and frailties I've voiced about myself recently. Suddenly, I assign my thoughts to that person. I hear her saying these same hurtful things. I feel labeled and judged and, yes, rejected.
Or my husband makes a comment about something I already feel sensitive about, and it incites an emotional response from me that is totally out of proportion. I find myself interpreting what he says and does way more emotionally than he ever intended. And it makes our relationship feel hard and exhausting. I feel so very rejected, and he's left scratching his head wondering why.
Or something I set my heart on unexpectedly falls through. I try to rally in my heart and remember that it's due to unforeseen circumstances. But there's some part of me that feels rejected. I don't want to take it personally, but I find myself slightly off for the rest of the day and can't quite shake the disappointment.
Or one of my adult kids makes a choice they know is the opposite of the advice I gave them. The more I push the more they pull back, and I feel like the mom I promised I'd never be: overbearing and controlling. They become quiet and distant. And I ache in deep places.
Or someone flat-out rejects me, my idea, my invitation, my kids, my project, my whatever, and it messes with me more than it should.
Relationships feel increasingly unsafe. Opportunities feel increasingly risky. And life feels increasingly uncooperative. I carry on, because that's what we girls do. But this nagging sense of rejection, real or simply perceived, is doing more of a number on me than I care to admit. Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what's been said to me.
Rejection isn't just an emotion we feel. It's a message that's sent to the core of who we are, causing us to believe lies about ourselves, others, and God. We connect an event from today to something harsh someone once said. That person's line becomes a label. The label becomes a lie. And the lie becomes a liability in how we think about ourselves and interact in every future relationship.
The line:I don't want you becomes the label you aren't accepted.
The label:You aren't accepted becomes the lie you aren't worthy.
The lie:You aren't worthy becomes a script of self-rejection. And it unleashes suspicion, doubt, hesitancy, and many other liabilities that hinder present relationships. We project the lines of rejection we heard from our past on others and hold them accountable for words they never said. And worst of all, we catch ourselves wondering if God secretly agrees with those who hurt us.
Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what's been said to me.
* * *
I would love to tell you I'm writing about this because I've overcome rejection in every way. I have made progress. I'm nowhere near as overly sensitive as I used to be. But there's a cussing "angel" who would caution me there's still work to be done.
No, I didn't choose this topic because I've mastered it. I chose this topic of rejection because I want us to dig in to the core of who we are and expose and finally heal rejection's deep infection. I'll warn you, the exposing of it all won't be tidy. But it will be honest.
And it will be good.
I can't say I'm quite ready to envelop honesty in a bear hug. I think you know the horribly awkward reason why. But I am willing to hold hands. And walk together from here.
CHAPTER 2Three Questions We Must Consider
Several years ago we remodeled our house and tore part of the kitchen down to the studs. Since I had a vision in my mind of how I wanted things to turn out but am clueless about all things construction, I asked a very knowledgeable friend for his advice. I was so excited to get his expert opinion on fun details like where to place the appliances, cabinet colors, and lighting fixtures. But when he walked in and started staring at the ceiling with a look of grave concern, I knew something was wrong.
The beams running the length of the kitchen had been hidden by sheetrock. But now that we'd temporarily exposed them, he could see one of the major beams wasn't able to provide the necessary amount of support. About three-quarters of the way across the ceiling, the board stopped short. It wasn't long enough to extend all the way to the supporting wall. In an effort to fix it, someone had nailed into its side another board that finished extending the length of the kitchen. Not only is this not the proper way to fix a supporting beam, but the nails were barely holding things together.
But since it was just one board, I didn't understand why this was such a big deal. There were plenty of other boards doing just fine. Let's just get on with the fun decorating ideas I thought we'd be discussing.
My friend knew better.
He took me upstairs. In the exact place where the broken boards were in the ceiling below, the second floor dipped and sagged. One good jump or one heavy thing dropped in that area, and that supporting board would likely come apart.
I didn't bother to ask my friend to unpack this any further. I already knew we couldn't leave this the way it was. I walked back downstairs and stood below the problem spot.
Broken boards can't provide stability. There was nothing profound about that from a construction standpoint. Except seeing those boards barely hanging on was like looking inside myself.
For years, I'd been expecting stability from a broken identity.
When Ditches and Dads Disappoint
When I was a little girl, I had a place I'd go to hide away. We were living in a very brown apartment complex at the time. On the side of our unit near the woods and the run-down tennis court, there was a cement ditch. It was an unlikely spot for a small-framed girl who liked pink and hated bugs. From the first time I ventured down into the ditch, however, being hidden made me feel wonderfully secure.
I'm sure if I looked at it today from my adult perspective, all I'd see would be a dirty drainage ditch. But as a small girl, I loved this place where I could go out of sight from others. People passed by so unaware of me. And, though I could hear every word they were saying, I hardly paid attention. It was all just background noise.
Kids fighting over toys. Women letting gossip fly as easily as dandelion seeds. And teenage girls flirting with silly-sounding boys.
Lots of events could spin and swirl in other people's lives outside the ditch. But I remained untouched and unaffected. I was a spectator, not a participant. I loved this feeling that life could happen around me but not to me.
My world in the ditch felt predictable and therefore safe. No one ever came over to peek inside or attempt to join me. Though I'm assuming this ditch was there to carry off rainwater, that year things stayed dry. On many occasions I brought some of my treasures down to the ditch and arranged them just so, loving the feeling of being able to control my environment.
Things only changed if I changed them.
In the strangest way I felt as long as I stayed hidden, life stayed in control and I stayed safe. It was a place where scary possibilities at home couldn't touch me. But I couldn't stay in the ditch. I eventually had to go home each day. And back inside the brown apartment, things felt so very unpredictable.
I had no control of things happening around me, but they very much affected me. I now know my dad had issues and battles he was fighting that I couldn't have understood as a young girl. But at the time, I just thought he was incredibly unhappy whenever I was home. Therefore, I must be the problem.
And on some level, maybe my dad did think I was part of the problem. I complicated his life. I cost money he didn't have. And, worst of all, I was a girl.
He never wanted a girl. And I was desperate to be a treasured daughter. That's a hard equation for which there is no easy answer. My greatest fear was that my dad would one day stop coming home and I'd be no father's daughter.
(Continues...)Excerpted from Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst. Copyright © 2016 TerKeurst Foundation. Excerpted by permission of Thomas Nelson.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Product details
- Publisher : Thomas Nelson; First Edition (August 9, 2016)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 288 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1400205875
- ISBN-13 : 978-1400205875
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 5.5 x 0.85 x 8.4 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #2,077 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #34 in Christian Self Help
- #43 in Christian Personal Growth
- #59 in Christian Women's Issues
- Customer Reviews:
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About the author
Lysa TerKeurst is president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and the author of more than twenty-five books, including It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way and the #1 New York Times bestsellers Forgiving What You Can’t Forget and Uninvited. She writes from her family’s farm table and lives in North Carolina. Connect with her at www.LysaTerKeurst.com or on social media @LysaTerKeurst.
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Customers find the book insightful and helpful. They praise the writing style as well-written and easy to read. The heartfelt content helps them feel loved and soothed. Readers appreciate the author's honest and relatable approach to addressing past rejection or trauma. Overall, they describe the book as an important read for women.
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Customers find the book relatable and enlightening. They appreciate the author's knowledge and wisdom of God's word. The book helps them reflect on their lives and feelings, giving hope. It applies scripture to everyday situations and provides a reassuring reminder when they feel insecure. Readers find the book informative and use real-life examples to explain scripture and God's love for them.
"...pain and rejection I've experienced but this book has helped to start the healing process and encouraged me to open my eyes and see that sometimes..." Read more
"...It helps you to take a deep dive into your life and feelings and gives you hope with the work you’re putting in." Read more
"...(9) There is something wonderfully sacred that happens when a girl chooses to realize that being set aside is actually God’s call for her to be set..." Read more
"...if you have ever had feelings of regection it does good circling you back to Jesus Christ." Read more
Customers appreciate the book's writing style. They find it well-written, easy to read, and relatable. Readers enjoy the author's creative use of rhymes and phrases. The writing is described as thoughtful, easy to understand, and approachable.
"...It is beautifully-written, honest, and will leave you feeling more peaceful, loved, and able to enjoy the beautiful lives God has planned for us." Read more
"...With biblical depth, gut-honest vulnerability, and refreshing wit, Lysa helps readers:..." Read more
"...She writes with wise patience...." Read more
"...Sounds easy, but I hungrily read that material several times...." Read more
Customers find the book's content touching and soothing. They say it helps them feel loved when experiencing loneliness. The author writes with compassion and a Godly love for this group of women. They find comfort in the author's words and her ability to point to scripture. The book feels personal and the author's approach feels like a good friend.
"...Uninvited is a Christian-based book meant to help women feel loved when they experience loneliness and rejection...." Read more
"...Lysa writes this book with great Godly love for this group of women in our broken world. She writes with wise patience...." Read more
"...I also find it so reassuring that she binds everything back to the word of God and she truly gives Him all the glory through it all. Great book!" Read more
"...By the end of the book it all feels very natural...." Read more
Customers find the book helpful in understanding their feelings of rejection. They say it's an easy read yet profound, dealing with past hurts and trauma. The author is real about the struggle with rejection, no matter how strong you think you are. The main focus is on rejection and the feelings that come up when it happens. It covers many feelings that women young and old are feeling or have experienced, including life events, funny stories, sad experiences, and Biblical perspectives on acceptance as the antidote for rejection.
"...It appeals to our emotions and we all want a healing band-aid for our hurting emotions...." Read more
"...and hilariousness, Lysa takes readers through her raw and heartbreaking stories and speaks into ours as well...." Read more
"...The book explores rejection, sheds light on its toxicity and ability to poisons relationships (including our relationship with God), and offers..." Read more
"...She's that type of author. This book is about rejection, hurts, feeling left out and lonely etc. It is biblically-based and inspiring...." Read more
Customers appreciate the author's genuine and relatable approach. They find the book honest and relatable, with the author sharing her own experiences.
"...You can tell that the author was genuine and not just trying to put a book out...." Read more
"...I think Lysa does a wonderful job of just being a real person with real views, yet sharing her inspired message...." Read more
"...She gave real and practical tools, deep in truth, to combat negative self talk and of feelings of not belonging." Read more
"...The advice the author gives is heartfelt and genuine. This book really helped change my perspective of myself and of others in a good way...." Read more
Customers find the book helpful for women of all ages. They say it's an important read for young women wanting to deepen their relationships. The author is described as a fantastic teacher to women. Many readers recommend the book especially for women in their twenties.
"...It's worth reading and is appropriate for any age women although I think college and older would connect best." Read more
"...it seemed, in her willingness to be vulnerable, merciful, and truthful about women who long to have a void filled by something/one other than the..." Read more
"Love this! So on point for most Christian Women I know! Helped me understand why some are so nasty or manipulative and what I can do about it...." Read more
"...This book speaks to the deep parts in our heart, the heart of all women. You may shed some tears, enjoy laughter, and even find healing...." Read more
Customers enjoy the book's entertainment value. They find the stories funny and engaging, making them laugh and cry. The author is described as fun and a joy to read. The descriptions of life events, funny stories, sad experiences, and how the book walks the reader through them are appreciated. Overall, readers describe it as a life-changing experience that puts them on the right path.
"This book was a life-changing experience that revealed a brokenness I didn’t even know existed...." Read more
"...because I can relate to the book but she's very clever and can make you laugh as well...." Read more
"...You may shed some tears, enjoy laughter, and even find healing...." Read more
"...Thank you Lysa for being so open and so honest and quite hilarious...." Read more
Customers find the book helpful for understanding their emotional distress and how they can have peace. It helps them dig deep and even cry a few times. The book offers practical solutions to overcome feeling less than, left out, and lonely. They say it makes them feel less alone and brings them healing.
"...for introspection and reframing one’s thoughts and feelings to a healthier perspective. I have bought several copies to give away." Read more
"I absolutely loved this book, it has brought so many tears and emotions and helped with self healing...." Read more
"...I cried through most of it but they were cleansing tears...." Read more
"...but forceful way with getting the emotions into words, and the words into emotions...." Read more
Reviews with images
A Must-Read for Christian Women of All Ages!
Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on January 23, 2017Nearly every woman has, or will, experience loneliness and rejection at some point in her life, be it from a relationship, friendship, career, school, etc. Sadly, it's a fact of life and it's an area where many of us have a hard time because we seek answers and sometimes we don't get them. I've had my fair share of loneliness and rejection and, a few years ago, I experienced a devastating end to a friendship. I had no idea why and kept going over and over it in my head, trying to get answers even though my husband kept telling me that I needed to let her go and move on. The thing is, I didn't know how to move on. It seems a lot easier said than done. Over the last several months, I've purchased some Christian inspiration books and Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst showed up as a recommended purchase. I knew nothing about it but had heard of the author from when I listened to K-LOVE. I was unsure if I wanted to buy this book but I saw it in a local store, paged through it, and liked what I saw so I came home and ordered it right away.
Uninvited is a Christian-based book meant to help women feel loved when they experience loneliness and rejection. It is divided into 16 chapters which include anecdotes from Lysa TerKeurst's life from when she, or someone close to her, felt rejected or unloved. In each chapter she talks about how she handled the situation, be it positive or negative. She references stories and verses from the Bible and applies them to her thinking about how to handle each issue. She also uses her life experiences to enhance her discussions. In addition to the 16 chapters, there is a bonus chapter, Assessment and Corrective Experience Chart (both of which can be printed from the book's website as well), a section on the Scriptures she uses which are organized by chapter, along with main points and ideas she would like us to remember, which are also organized by chapter.
When I set out to read this book, I figured I would read it within a couple days like I usually do. However, after I finished the first couple of chapters on that first day, I realized there is a lot to process in each chapter. A good portion of the book encourages some deep, self-reflection and, for me at least, to read it in a couple days wouldn't have been beneficial. I ended up reading a couple chapters each day and spent some time afterwards thinking about what I'd read so this book took me about a week to read. I enjoyed Lysa TerKeurst's wit and the way she drew me into her writing. I wouldn't say this is a funny ha-ha book and it doesn't necessarily make light on the topics of loneliness and rejection; rather, her personality and writing caused me to snicker once in awhile and that made her that much more relatable. I was actually able to put myself in her shoes more than once and look at the situations in a different, and more positive, light.
If you are considering purchasing this book, please don't buy it thinking it will have all of the answers to your questions and problems. It doesn't say in order to feel loved after this type of situation, you need to do this, and bam, it's fixed. Uninvited is a book that requires some reflection and self-analysis as well as some time to process the readings. Even after spending a week with this book, I still don't feel like I've fully utilized all of the wonderful ideas and thoughts included in this book so I'm glad I purchased it so I can read it several more times. I ended up purchasing the paperback copy and the one thing I wish I would've done from the start is to use my journal while I read it so I could write down some important thoughts and Bible verses that stuck out to me. During my college career, I discovered the most effective way I learn is to write something down and that would've benefited me greatly to do that with this book. If you purchase the Kindle edition, you could either highlight and make some notes on your Kindle or use a journal and if you purchase the paperback copy, you may want to journal as well. There are important thoughts to remember noted in the back of the book but I prefer to write them down separately and, if you are the same way, I'd recommend grabbing a journal while reading this.
I cannot tell you how grateful and happy I am to have discovered this book. I loved the way Lysa TerKeurst writes and she inserts Bible verses and God to support her points. Obviously I'm not fully healed from some of the pain and rejection I've experienced but this book has helped to start the healing process and encouraged me to open my eyes and see that sometimes those bad experiences can be blessings in disguise. The next time I read this, and it will be soon, I will be grabbing my journal because, for me, that will more effectively help me process some of the thoughts and points made in this book. I highly encourage any woman, young or old, who has ever felt the pain of rejection, to pick up this book. It is beautifully-written, honest, and will leave you feeling more peaceful, loved, and able to enjoy the beautiful lives God has planned for us.
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must-Read for Christian Women of All Ages!Nearly every woman has, or will, experience loneliness and rejection at some point in her life, be it from a relationship, friendship, career, school, etc. Sadly, it's a fact of life and it's an area where many of us have a hard time because we seek answers and sometimes we don't get them. I've had my fair share of loneliness and rejection and, a few years ago, I experienced a devastating end to a friendship. I had no idea why and kept going over and over it in my head, trying to get answers even though my husband kept telling me that I needed to let her go and move on. The thing is, I didn't know how to move on. It seems a lot easier said than done. Over the last several months, I've purchased some Christian inspiration books and Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst showed up as a recommended purchase. I knew nothing about it but had heard of the author from when I listened to K-LOVE. I was unsure if I wanted to buy this book but I saw it in a local store, paged through it, and liked what I saw so I came home and ordered it right away.
Reviewed in the United States on January 23, 2017
Uninvited is a Christian-based book meant to help women feel loved when they experience loneliness and rejection. It is divided into 16 chapters which include anecdotes from Lysa TerKeurst's life from when she, or someone close to her, felt rejected or unloved. In each chapter she talks about how she handled the situation, be it positive or negative. She references stories and verses from the Bible and applies them to her thinking about how to handle each issue. She also uses her life experiences to enhance her discussions. In addition to the 16 chapters, there is a bonus chapter, Assessment and Corrective Experience Chart (both of which can be printed from the book's website as well), a section on the Scriptures she uses which are organized by chapter, along with main points and ideas she would like us to remember, which are also organized by chapter.
When I set out to read this book, I figured I would read it within a couple days like I usually do. However, after I finished the first couple of chapters on that first day, I realized there is a lot to process in each chapter. A good portion of the book encourages some deep, self-reflection and, for me at least, to read it in a couple days wouldn't have been beneficial. I ended up reading a couple chapters each day and spent some time afterwards thinking about what I'd read so this book took me about a week to read. I enjoyed Lysa TerKeurst's wit and the way she drew me into her writing. I wouldn't say this is a funny ha-ha book and it doesn't necessarily make light on the topics of loneliness and rejection; rather, her personality and writing caused me to snicker once in awhile and that made her that much more relatable. I was actually able to put myself in her shoes more than once and look at the situations in a different, and more positive, light.
If you are considering purchasing this book, please don't buy it thinking it will have all of the answers to your questions and problems. It doesn't say in order to feel loved after this type of situation, you need to do this, and bam, it's fixed. Uninvited is a book that requires some reflection and self-analysis as well as some time to process the readings. Even after spending a week with this book, I still don't feel like I've fully utilized all of the wonderful ideas and thoughts included in this book so I'm glad I purchased it so I can read it several more times. I ended up purchasing the paperback copy and the one thing I wish I would've done from the start is to use my journal while I read it so I could write down some important thoughts and Bible verses that stuck out to me. During my college career, I discovered the most effective way I learn is to write something down and that would've benefited me greatly to do that with this book. If you purchase the Kindle edition, you could either highlight and make some notes on your Kindle or use a journal and if you purchase the paperback copy, you may want to journal as well. There are important thoughts to remember noted in the back of the book but I prefer to write them down separately and, if you are the same way, I'd recommend grabbing a journal while reading this.
I cannot tell you how grateful and happy I am to have discovered this book. I loved the way Lysa TerKeurst writes and she inserts Bible verses and God to support her points. Obviously I'm not fully healed from some of the pain and rejection I've experienced but this book has helped to start the healing process and encouraged me to open my eyes and see that sometimes those bad experiences can be blessings in disguise. The next time I read this, and it will be soon, I will be grabbing my journal because, for me, that will more effectively help me process some of the thoughts and points made in this book. I highly encourage any woman, young or old, who has ever felt the pain of rejection, to pick up this book. It is beautifully-written, honest, and will leave you feeling more peaceful, loved, and able to enjoy the beautiful lives God has planned for us.
Images in this review - Reviewed in the United States on January 4, 2025This book was a life-changing experience that revealed a brokenness I didn’t even know existed. Through its profound message and the emphasis on healing with scripture, God gently brought to light deep-seated feelings of past hurts and trauma I had long buried.
With an outpouring of tears and a silent scream from the depths of my soul, I confronted and healed the hidden secrets that had laced my heart with pain for years. The author’s invitation to embrace this journey of spiritual restoration was a gift I didn’t know I needed. Thank you for offering a path to wholeness and renewal that has forever changed me.
- Reviewed in the United States on October 1, 2016The enemy wants us to feel rejected . . . left out, lonely, and less than. When we allow him to speak lies through our rejection, he pickpockets our purpose. Cripples our courage. Dismantles our dreams. And blinds us to the beauty of Christ’s powerful love.
In Uninvited, Lysa shares her own deeply personal experiences with rejection—from the incredibly painful childhood abandonment by her father to the perceived judgment of the perfectly toned woman one elliptical over.
With biblical depth, gut-honest vulnerability, and refreshing wit, Lysa helps readers:
-Release the desire to fall apart or control the actions of others by embracing God-honoring ways to process their hurt.
-Know exactly what to pray for the next ten days to steady their soul and restore their confidence.
-Overcome the two core fears that feed our insecurities by understanding the secret of belonging.
-Stop feeling left out and start believing that "set apart" does not mean "set aside."
-End the cycle of perceived rejection by refusing to turn a small incident into a full blown issue.
As you walk through the up and downs of life and end up feeling rejected yet again, Lysa leads you to ask three simple questions:
Is God good?
Is God good to me?
Do I trust God to be God?
This was a book that I deeply needed to read. I think every woman has felt the pain of rejection at some point in her life. God is the only one who we can get our identity from. Uninvited deals with the enemy's way of trying to make you feel like you're the only one who feels left out, how he tries to isolate you in your own head. Rejection delves deeper into the roots of our self doubt, insecurities, and so much more. Lysa gives scripture to show how to handle these feelings and to show that you're not alone in this. God is prepared for all of it.
Favorite quotes:
1) Honesty isn’t trying to hurt me. It’s trying to heal me
(2) Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what’s been said to me
(3) Acceptance is like an antibiotic that prevents past rejections from turning into present-day infections. The need for belonging runs deep
(4) If you want to know what’s really inside a person, listen carefully to the words she speaks
(5) When a man is physically present but emotionally absent, a girl’s heart can feel quite hollow and helpless
(6) The mind feasts on what it focuses on. What consumes my thinking will be the making or the breaking of my identity
(7) The beliefs we hold should hold us up even when life feels like it’s falling apart
(8) Live from the abundant pace that you are loved, and you won't find yourself begging others for scraps of love
(9) There is something wonderfully sacred that happens when a girl chooses to realize that being set aside is actually God’s call for her to be set apart
(10) People who care more about being right than ending right prove just how wrong they were all along.
*This book was provided to me for my honest review by BookLook Bloggers
- Reviewed in the United States on October 30, 2024This book spoke to what I needed when I needed it. I love how it went over rejection, breakups, and comparison, things we all deal with. How to overcome insecurities and live to our full potential. It helps you to take a deep dive into your life and feelings and gives you hope with the work you’re putting in.
5.0 out of 5 stars Challenging in a good wayThis book spoke to what I needed when I needed it. I love how it went over rejection, breakups, and comparison, things we all deal with. How to overcome insecurities and live to our full potential. It helps you to take a deep dive into your life and feelings and gives you hope with the work you’re putting in.
Reviewed in the United States on October 30, 2024
Images in this review
Top reviews from other countries
- Amazon CustomerReviewed in Germany on December 11, 2022
5.0 out of 5 stars Life changing book.
I finished the book and just wanted to start reading it again from the beginning. It's so good. Even if you haven't faced huge rejections in your life, I would still recommend reading this book.
- MillGirlEntreReviewed in Canada on February 4, 2018
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome faith-based book for the modern woman!
I am a total Lysa TerKeurst fan after reading this book.
The book speaks a lot on finding your joy and meaning in God which trumps whatever anyone else's opinions may be of you.
I think this is a staple in the Christian woman's book collection.
I've already shared this book with a friend who is reading it right now.
I'll probably also buy the Audible version of the book so I can listen to it while I work.
Another recommendation: If you like this book, you'll probably also enjoy Lara Casey's Cultivate.
It's a totally different writing style but it's really good and the Audible version is even better!
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GabrielleReviewed in Mexico on June 19, 2017
5.0 out of 5 stars Bueniiiiiisimoooo
Necesito leerlo y leerlo está increíble y súper práctico con un lenguaje muy sencillo. La autora escribe desde el corazón.
- Amazon CustomerReviewed in India on February 4, 2018
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
A must read !!
- LHReviewed in France on May 12, 2017
5.0 out of 5 stars Invite healing
I've been recommending this book to all my gal pals. Someone asked me who the audience was for this book and I said WOMEN! All women. We so easily create stories in our heads about what so and so meant by that comment or why some other person hates us because they didn't smile at us. Invite healing and live loved.